Want to get ahead in business? Take the advice of a real pro.
The Hooker MBA
She’s a self-made. self-employed woman who earns upwards of $400,000 a year and is an expert at selling, marketing, and pricing her product. She understands the process of limiting supply in order to generate demand, instinctively maximizes profits, and has perfected the art of mixing business with pleasure. During one memorable 24-hour period, she made $40,000 from a trio of clients and has generated $200,000 in revenue from a particularly devoted customer over the course of 18 months.
Now, that’s selling!
The person we’re talking about is a Las Vegas-based call girl we’ll call Anastasya, who cannily applies modern business concepts to the world’s oldest profession. Here are her tips for making the most of monkey business — or really any business.
Hooker Tip #1 — Become the Source
“Why would I want someone to be in touch with my clients, representing me, when I can represent myself in the best possible way? Plus, by cutting out the middleman. I make more money and reduce the potential for confusion. For example, I’ll show up, and, based on what somebody else has said, a client expects me to do anal. Well. I don’t do anal. So that can be a problem Beyond that, for the gentleman’s sake, the fewer hoops he has to jump through, the more natural it feels. He wants our encounter to be a girlfriend experience as opposed to a business transaction. I can make sure that he gets what he wants.”
Rather than focusing on middlemen who can market or distribute your product, do it yourself. This entrepreneurial approach carries more risk and is more time-consuming, but it promises a bigger payoff. Use charm, creativity, advertising, and previously established credibility in order to build up customers who rely on the superior product or service you provide. And remember to compensate those friendly folk who help you along the way.
Anastasya has laid the groundwork for her independence by eschewing pimps and the legal brothels that spot Carson City, Nevada. Although those places have their advantages (you won’t get busted for soliciting), they take 5O percent of each girl’s earnings. Anastasya has no interest in giving up that big a chunk of her profits. Indeed, she prefers to be wholesaler and retailer.
In order to generate business, Anastasya advertises in old media (the back pages of Las Vegas Weekly) as well as new media (Craigslist.com and TheEroticReview.com). She also relies on referrals from past customers and networks. New clients come from Iimo drivers, fellow working girls (in exchange for a 10· to 15-percent commission), and VIP hosts (casino employees who wrangle big gamblers and need to keep them happy). “The last time I did an all-nighter, the gentleman’s host came with us, and she handed me her card,” says Anastasya. “Not long after, she called me for one of her high rollers. I made $4,000 and tipped the host $500. That’s good money for everybody.”
Hooker Tip #2 — Know How Hard to Push
“First thing I ask a gentleman is where he got my name from. That way I know if it’s off of Craigslist or The Erotic Review, or somewhere else altogether. It tells me what he expects to spend. Erotic Review has a lot of information from clients who have paid me $1,500 — so somebody calling via Erotic Review already knows the price. On the other hand, if I tell somebody that the price is $1,500 and he says it’s kind of high, I suggest that we meet fora drink and figure it out. Men love meeting for drinks. If they negotiate a lower price, I try to raise it up in the hotel room. But I am flexible. If I have a regular who normally pays $1,200 but only has $800, and really wants to get laid, I’ll do it to keep him as a client. Next time, though, it will be $1,200. Maybe in exchange for the discount, I’ll get him to post a review or pay my cellphone bill.”
Whether you’ re negotiating for a new salary or trying to convince a client that he needs to spend more, quick thinking is essential. Anastasya likes to charge $1,500 for an unhurried hour or two of full service. But not everybody is willing to fork it over, so she’s flexible (“Hand jobs are $500. Titty-fucking is $750.”) and creative. During a slow week in Vegas, when the only convention in town was for low-rolling furniture-builders, she hooked up with a friend and sold girl-girl shows for small groups rather than full-on sex (which the market would not bear at her prices). “I like girls, so It was fun for me,” she says. “I made at I east $400 an hour and didn’t have to touch any of the guys.”
That said, she presses for max payments but recognizes that it’s all relative. “When somebody calls me from a cellphone. I look at the area code and get an idea as to where the gentleman lives. A guy from 415 [San Francisco) will probably be willing to spend more than a guy from 416 [Toronto). Then I ask where he’s staying and what he’s in town for. If he’s at the Wynn Las Vegas hotel on business, we’re starting at $1,500 and I’m selling full service.”
Once Anastasya is in a client’s room, with an initial price settled on, demand for her product suddenly spikes. That Is when the negotiating begins in earnest. ’’If I’m giving a guy a blowjob, and that is all he paid for. I keep my panties on. If he wants them off, I tell him that he has to kick it up, money-wise. Then, once we’ve gotten to that point, if he wants to touch me, I wiggle away a little. He says that I’m a tease. I say that he needs to be more generous.”
Hooker Tip #3 — Always be Selling
“You never know when an opportunity will come up. And I am always aware of that. I have a sort of radar that keeps me conscious of the men around me. When I’m out In my regular life and a guy Is staring, I’ll walk over and introduce myself. No problem. It helps that I’m naturally friendly and outgoing. Let’s say I am at a casino valet, or a supermarket, or a car wash: I start talking to a guy and he asks me what I do for a Irving. I tell him, ‘I’m a dancer.’ He asks where I dance and I say, ‘Wherever you want me to.’ Then the guy usually says, ’Oh. You’re that kind of dancer?’ I say, ’Yeah, I am.’ I have those conversations all the time.”
Whenever you make a phone call or walk out the door, you have an opportunity to sell — whether it’s a product. an idea, or yourself. But before doing that, you need to find your point of differentiation. Be able to concisely explain why the people who count should pay attention to you. Just remember not to cross the fine line between being interesting and being pushy.
Anastasya has enough sex appeal that her target audience is Inclined to buy. She increases the likelihood of closing the sale by handing out business cards, text messaging 1,000 or so regular customers with some variation of “Good morning, honey,’’ and always dressing In a manner that accentuates her best assets — whether she’s gambling on the Strip or shopping in the supermarket.
“I maintain spreadsheets on everybody’s likes and dislikes and fantasies. I may not know a client’s birthday, but I know if he enjoys it when I rub his balls.”
Additionally, she regularly embarks on marketing expeditions that exist for the sole purpose of stirring up new business. She goes to Tryst nightclub at Wynn on Thursdays (it’s the hot night there and helps her get booked for the weekend), covers the local market by cruising Monday Night Football at the Palms. and rarely misses a high-profile boxing match. “Guys hit on me all the time, and my goal Is to turn every one of them into clients,” she says. “Some women see an older gentleman staring and they say, ‘Eeew.’ My response is, ‘Ooooh, that guy wants to give me money. Maybe I should go over and buy him a drink.’”
Hooker Tip #4 — Money Isn’t Everything
“Anything that takes care of financial responsibility for me is payment. If a gentleman wants to post money to my Victoria’s Secret account, I’ll take that. Other times I take Visa gift cards {that high rollers get as gifts) from the casinos. Sometimes you do better that way. When clients pay me in cash, it can limit my upside. On the occasion when a guy wants to take me to Gucci or Ferragamo. I know I’ll get more than what he’d have paid me in cash. Some guys don’t want to pay outright. They claim that they don’t pay for sex, so this Is a way around that. A lot of men like the idea of being seen walking around with me, spending a lot of money. And if a guy’s not comfortable going to Gucci, I say, ’Okay, let’s go to Best Buy and get a flat-screen.’ Every guy Is willing to do something. You Just need to be creative about what that thing Is.”
Big fat checks are nice. but cash Is not the only form of remuneration. Supplementing your income with barter can be lucrative and life-enhancing. This form of payment is popular enough that companies such as YouExchange.com and BarterltOnhne.com exist for the sole purpose of bringing together different businesses.
Anastasya happily barters for anything and everything. Thus far she’s managed to swap sex for a $3,000 Loro Piana handbag, loads of designer clothing, and a 550 Mercedes-Benz. (When she told a smitten client that she needed a car, he gave her his nearly new Benz; she sold It for $70,000.) Guys have paid her college loan and taken her shopping. But, she warns, if you’re In a particularly appealing business, price the goods you offer at wholesale. “An executive from 7 Jeans gives me $1,000 worth of pants, and I knock $500 off the price of service.” she says. “I refuse to value it at full retail. After all. the guy got the merchandise for free.”
Hooker Tip #5 — Calculate Risk. Curtail Volatility.
“Hell yeah, there is risk. The number one risk Is the police. I try to cut that out by picking the gentleman rather than letting him pick me. Vice comes right up to you and tries to get you to go upstairs immediately. They don’t waste any time. They’re often nasty right from the start. They want to get you saying as much as they can, so I generally talk about money as little as possible. I don’t like talking about how I can use my mouth to put a condom onto a guy’s penis. Gentlemen act like gentlemen. Vice cops do not. They usually dress in no-name jeans and untucked button-down shirts. They immediately offer $1.000 to do it In the ass. To me, that does not sound very safe.”
It Is virtually impossible to be in any kind of money-making enterprise without taking on a certain amount of risk. This is true whether you’re an attorney working for a piece of the settlement, or a banker negotiating loans, or a pipe fitter who needs to assess the downside of a shortcut compared to the hours it will save. One key to being successful is to be able to quantify risks. Figure out the ones that are worth taking and think through the negatives before taking chances.
In Anastasya’s case, her risks are not financial so much as they involve time consumption, wear and tear on her body. and the ever-looming prospect of getting busted. Like a lot of smart business people, she recognizes the worth of sacrificing profit to reduce risk. “I’d rather do one all-night session for $2,500 than take a shot at four one-hour sessions for $1,500 each.” After all, she explains, every time she steps in an elevator, she has the potential to rankle casino security; whenever she meets with a new client, there is a chance that he will be an undercover cop. On a purely mathematical level, she reduces volatility by giving up a chunk of potential profit over the course of a given night.
As a side benefit of playing it safe, overnight customers are more likely to become repeat customers (integral for success in any field). And that, too, takes some of the gamble out of Anastaysa’s work. She knows that a repeat customer is not a cop and he will probably buy an extended session, which translates into more money.
Recognizing the value of regulars-and grateful for the safety they provide — she keeps favored clients happy by throwing in special treats: “Sometimes I’ II surprise a gentleman by bringing along a second girl. He doesn’t ask for her, and he doesn’t pay for her. I pay the girl out of my money. I can be very personable. I maintain spreadsheets on everybody’s likes and dislikes and fantasies. I may not know a client’s birthday, but I know if he enjoys it when I rub his balls.”
Hooker Tip #6 — Follow the Cash
“You have to respect the seasonality and economies of various places. I find out from clients about award shows and conventions in other cities where the right kinds of men will be present. Anywhere there is a huge swarm of men, that is where I want to be. Staying in Vegas all the time is no way to leverage profits. During summers in Vegas, I’d spend a lot of time fucking locals and charging them less. I do a lot better in the Hamptons or Saint-Tropez.”
Devote your business life to selling snow shovels and the market is obvious. Opt for something more dynamic, however, and your profit center keeps changing. Smart people track markets and analyze information to find locales with new, untapped opportunities.
It can be as simple as keeping up on parallel businesses that are suddenly thriving in certain areas. One trick here is to establish trusted sources who can clue you in on the information before your competitors have it. Anastasya does this by cozying up to taxi drivers who provide her with copies of tip sheets, put together by the Las Vegas Visitors Bureau that reveal casinos where conventions are being held (so that drivers know where they’ll be needed). She also maintains hotel-based sources who keep her abreast of occupancy percentages. After all, the busier a casino is, the likelier she will be to find customers there.
When things really slow down. Anastasya does what every smart business person does: She seeks fresh territories — often with the help of a call-girl network she has cultivated. In her case, the hot spot is usually Miami, San Diego, or Dallas. (“Dallas is ridiculous,” she says. “I make 60 grand there in six weeks. but I don’t really like the city.”) She hits Hawaii for the Pro Bowl, goes wherever the NBA All-Star Game happens to be, and touches down in Indianapolis during Biker Week. Still, there’s no place like home: “The Professional Bull Riders Championship in Vegas is the best. Cowboys are fun, they’re not cheap, and they love big-titted girls.”
It should not really surprise anyone that at least some of us around here know a lot of hookers. And in keeping with the theme today, most of them tend to be happy. Maybe not Xaviera Hollander happy, but more realistic these days, and over all confident in their own direction and life choices. Many do not like men all that much, perhaps, but if more men knew how to treat the business relationship with them, maybe that would change. Some guys really need to learn the difference between orgasms and love.
