As it turns out, the best-laid plans of mice, men, and Penthouse Executives often go awry.
Delving Into the Data-Driven
We have two questions for you before we get to the Data-Driven part of our revelation today.
- Do you remember when we said that last Thursday (April 7th) was going to be the last day for the public to vote on the Penthouse 2022 Pet of the Year?
- Do you remember some years back — ok, so a lot of years back — when a character (or a friend) might jump up and yell, “PSYCHE!”?
If you answered in the affirmative to question two, then you probably know where we’re heading today. Should you not remember this expression, perhaps a visual representation could be of some assistance.
So that pretty much explains what “PSYCHE!” meant back in the day, and here we are again finding it useful. Heck, maybe we’ll start the trend all over again. Eddie Murphy used it in a routine about buying ice cream, and as much as we all love ice cream, us using it in the context of our Data-Driven exploration of modern Penthouse Pets seems more interesting than that.
We find ourselves somewhat limited in what we can publicly reveal, but basically after over three full months of voting, the final tally for the 2022 Pet of the Year popular vote ended up amazingly close. They will not allow us to give specific numbers, but we can say that the number of people that have voted for the POY has passed well into six figures, and yet something extraordinary — at least in our experience with this particular annual vote — has happened. Literally 20 votes applied one way or the other would completely rearrange the order of the top four women in the contest. This thing came out really close. Twenty votes after that much time and this many votes hit us as truly bizarre. Usually by about half way through the contest you can pick the top three places at the end with a big degree of confidence, based on how the vote has been going thus far. By maybe 70% of the vote being in, you will essentially know who the winner will be for sure.
So at the very highest level of Executive Strategizing, a new mandate descended. We do not really have an executive dining room, because we honestly don’t have that many executives, and besides Los Angeles has nothing if not an abundance of superior eating establishments close to any given location. Given that, we feel confident in our little web world that this decision certainly came after the consumption of large portions of seared beef along with several have-to-be-bad-for-you side dishes. Whatever the case, we now have a new plan.
Voting for the 2022 Penthouse Pet of the Year has been extended.
Despite what you may have heard, or learned from any number of social media outlets or direct email campaigns, the Execs have decided you need more time. While you ponder this amended reality in our new Data-Driven world, we thought a few photographs of the Pet of the Year winners from 2006-2010 might be fun. So we dug some up.
That was better than a great many things in life, right? We hope it serves as a bit of an apology if you have been making special concessions in your life to be sure you voted every week for your favorite Pet. On the upside, now you get to vote some more, so … YAY?
You see, everybody has their personal favorites, and nobody wants to “lose” by some piddly number like 20 votes. So far no highly-important people have called us up on the telephone saying anything scandalous like, “I just need to find this many votes” or anything, just to be clear. If that does happen, though, we will not need a committee to look into anything. This actually IS a dictatorship, so we will do as we are told. If the Emperor wants to be naked, fine. We’re quite used to naked people around here.
Truth be told, a lot of factors go in to choosing the ultimate Pet of the Year winner. The public vote, although very important, does not necessarily rule the roost entirely. We can’t really divulge the other factors — ok, mostly because we do not know them — but at some point the decision gets made (perhaps at one of those aforementioned fine eateries) and some months later we all hear about it. You might be surprised to learn that in our little web world, we have in the past learned the winner of the Pet of the Year contest by looking at a printed magazine just like everybody else. … Shocking, right?! … You should complain to the Penthouse Executives for us, because, y’know … dictatorship.
At any rate, they say “two more weeks” which would put us still compiling votes until Earth Day, oddly enough. Of course we have no plans to bank on that by locking it in or anything. Once bitten. Twice shy. All that. (The concept, not the Great White song.) While that sinks in, we figured it couldn’t hurt to throw in another Data-Driven PSYCHE! Moment with Gianna Dior.
You should consider that maybe a nice PenthouseGold membership for a month or so might appease some of this PSYCHE frustration, to be clear. For our part we need to look up people who keep track of things like this, because we have discovered the actual four worst words ever uttered in an office environment: We have Plan B.
As you may have noticed by now, we will not often link you out to “The Guardian” because it tends to be, well, itself, but we did find a fun list of other Horrible Office Phrases you might enjoy — pretty much all the result of this Data-Driven quest of the modern corporation — so take a look if you wish. … OH! And we almost forgot: VOTE.
