Andrew Dice Clay

If Andrew Dice Clay has his way, Rocky Balboa will always be with us to overcome the odds.

Little Boy Blew …

Like Stallone’s underdog pug — whom Clay, swapping black boxing shorts for black leather jackets, claims as his inspiration — “Diceman” (the Andrew Dice Clay nom de comedy) now finds himself rising from the canvas, a bit battered and blue, struggling to hold on to the heavyweight title of comedy. In his corner are millions of fans clutching their sides in laughter; standing over him are grim-faced referees wishing him down for the count and thinking: There oughta be a law against comics poking fun at women, gays, blacks, Jews — well, everybody and everything.

As the champ, Diceman had an obligation to keep ’em laughing, and as long as. they were, he ignored those who were loading the dice against him. When Nora Dunn and Sinead O’Connor refused to appear with him on “Saturday Night Live,” Diceman performed, and the episode’s ratings soared to equal those of the glory days of John, Danny, and Chevy. When MTV banned him for life, Diceman went elsewhere and broke records by filling the largest arenas in the country.

But success breeds jealousy and envy, and an “I could have been a contender” line of comics joined the social referees. Jay Leno, in search of a punch line, attacked Diceman in a national magazine. “I can’t find the joke, I can’t find the joke,” complained the man who sits in for Johnny. Leno went on to compare Diceman to ex-Ku Klux Klanner David Duke and the fallen Marion Barry. Several other comics joined Leno in taking swipes at their former friend and colleague. Still, the champ didn’t go down.

Soon it was time for the media fly-weights to give it their best shot. GQ entitled an article about Diceman “The Comedy of Hate.” The New York Times took on the cause of American Womanhood in its attack on Diceman. Time was less ambitious and only defended his ex-wife when swiping at the comic. The most ambitious attack came from The Boston Globe, when it defended Western Civilization from the onslaught of Diceman’s humor by comparing him to Hitler and Mussolini. After a mixed year of sweet success from admiring audiences and fans and bitter attacks from the sorts who enjoy closing down museums and record stores, Andrew Dice Clay pulled off a Rocky Balboa. He returned home to regroup and prepare himself for next year’s battles.

The Sheepshead Bay section of Brooklyn, New York, is one of the more scenic areas in this borough of neighborhoods. Down at the bay, dozens of fishing boats leave early every morning, returning late in the afternoon when the day’s catch is unloaded on the dock, wrapped in newspaper, and sold for the cheapest prices in the city. Across the street from the bay are Italian family restaurants that seem to have been there forever, small tackle and bait shops, and a small club called Pips. This is the heart of the neighborhood where Andrew Silverstein, a.k.a. Andrew Dice Clay, was born 32 years ago.

During its three decades, many famous bands and comics have performed at Pips, but as most people in Brooklyn will tell you, this is the spot where Andrew Dice Clay was born. The story — true, untrue, or exaggerated — has become part of the neighborhood folklore.

It was Amateur Night, sometime in 1978, when anybody who thought he was funny could get up on the stage and try to make the tough Brooklyn audience laugh. Andrew walked up to the small stage dressed like Jerry Lewis’s Nutty Professor, inspiring the rowdy crowd to make catcalls and threats on his life. It was Brooklyn’s version of the West Bank. Keeping his cool, the suffering nerd asked the hostile audience to try and imagine the Nutty Professor swallowing a magic potion that would turn him into the cool John Travolta. The club’s lights went dim, the comic made a few changes, and when the lights came up, there was the hero of Saturday Night Fever and Grease. The hostile crowd went wild with delight and laughter and never stopped applauding until Andrew Dice Clay left the stage.

Growing up, Diceman knew he was going to be an entertainer. Schoolwork, hobbies, and sports never interested him. His first love was the drums, which he played in the band at James Madison High School, and later at clubs and hotel resorts. Although a musician and not a comic, he was always funny in the same way that keeps him in trouble today. Once Andrew and a friend were walking in the school hallway when they were supposed to be in class. A patrolling teacher spotted the two black-leather-jacketed AWOLs and prepared to take them to the dean. Without missing a beat, Andrew grabbed the unsuspecting teacher, tossed him against the wall, and demanded: “Stop! School police. Spread your legs and raise your hands. You are under arrest.” Before the shocked teacher could recover, the “undercover officer” had fled the school.

The Andrew Dice Clay who appeared onstage that night in 1978 at Pips was not yet the Diceman. At that time, most of his material consisted of impersonations and the stand-up’s stock-in-trade, one-liners. The persona of the Brooklyn tough making crudely hysterical observations about life was nowhere in sight. That character was not born so much as it evolved over years of onstage trial and error. By the time he finished a two-year stint in 1988 on the television series “Crime Story,” playing the gangster Max Goldman, the Diceman was upon us. Somewhere along the line he rewrote the Mother Goose nursery rhymes into versions definitely not suitable for children. By 1990 Andrew Dice Clay was America’s hottest comedian.

Since media coverage of Clay has been incredibly one-sided and negative, Penthouse thought it would be refreshing to have the comic speak for himself. Special Features Editor Allan Sonnenschein requested a few hours of the comic’s time, but before he realized what was happening, he had spent a long week with Dice in Brooklyn. Coming out of his daze, Sonnenschein recalls:

“I find it difficult to believe that anyone who has written about Andrew Dice Clay has ever met him; perhaps they’ve chosen only to see the character on-stage — the Diceman. Part of the real world of Andrew Dice Clay that I saw included Trini, Andrew’s beautiful girlfriend and the mother of their baby son Max; Fred Silverstein, Clay’s devoted father and business manager; his first fan, his sister Natalie; and ’Hot Tub’ Johnny, the best friend we all should have. Andrew is devoted to these people, and with the interview that follows, perhaps many others will learn the difference between the man onstage and Andrew Dice Clay.

Describe your perfect woman.

Clay: Think of the perfect Boy Scout: loyal, disciplined, obedient.

Now let’s talk about real women. Your ex-wife, for example.

Clay: In my heart, I don’t have an ex-wife. She only exists in a courtroom. Knowwhatlmean?

Okay, so let’s talk about a woman you like. Tell us about Trini, your girlfriend.

Clay: She can actually make me laugh, which no girl ever did. She’s very open-minded with her sense of humor, so I can hang with her. We’re together over four years, ya hear?

How did you meet her?

Clay: When I was doing “Crime Story” in Chicago, ya hear? I had already filed for divorce, still going through the whole head thing. I was looking for some place to eat one day — I was wearing these real colorful shorts; I call them Bobby the Beef-Puppet shorts. I pass this place called P S. Chicago and there’s knocking on the window and this guy comes out and he goes, “Dice, I don’t believe it’s you.” Then, when I had a fan, it was like “Wow, I got a fan,” you bar and say hello to my friend Rocco.” So I go in and him and his friend Rocco were playing pinball and there was this cute little blonde standing there and she’s not talking. I’m in character for them — I go, “Who’s the dumb blonde that don’t talk?” She looks at me and goes, “You must be from Brooklyn.” That was it. We didn’t part since.

So are you going to get married again?

Clay: I don’t know. We’re happy, we just had a baby. To say I got a son, you know, is just great. I just picture when he’s 16 and I open up a closet with 300 leather jackets in it for him. The kid is going to freak out. I also have this old 1970 Coupe DeVille Cadillac that I call the Dicemobile. I bought that car for like $2,400 about eight years ago. I’ve always loved it and I always said to Trini, “When I make it big, I’m going to do the car.” ’Cause through the years. it got to the point where the car was just sitting in the garage in like an inch of dust, the seats are ripped, it didn’t move, the motor was gone, everything. But I couldn’t give the car up. Rick Rubin took the car to redo it, says, “This is.my birthday gift to you, but it’s going to take a few weeks.” Nine months and three days later, he drives up to the house, the car is in mint condition. That’s all I drive. The Dicemobile lives, and I’m going to save that car for Max.

Is that your son’s name?

Clay: Yeah. I picture that he’ll say it with an attitude, like when somebody says, “What’s your name,” he’ll go, “Max — how far you want to take it?”

Do you think differently about the world now that you’ve got a kid?

Clay: Oh yeah. I worry about how I’m going to bring him up. But he’s not going to know the stage act, he’s going to know me. He’ll be incredible. Because he has two parents who are both very streetwise. You know, when Trini got pregnant, I started thinking about our sex life. I mean, I think every guy does. So I spoke to her, that’s the kind of girl Trini is, she goes, “Look, if it’s going to destroy our sex life, don’t go in the delivery room.” She wasn’t like a nag that goes. “I can’t believe that I’m the one that has to go through it, and you’re going to stand out in the waiting room and smoke three packs of cigarettes.” The bottom line is, I ran into this guy, A.D., who I hadn’t seen in years, and he said, “If she’s in your heart. you’ll go in.” I come home and I tell Trini, “You’re in my heart, right? I’m coming in the delivery room.” I went in, I wore my baggies, I wore my Everlast shirt that I’m wearing now. When it was time, I didn’t think I was going to look, but I saw that kid coming right out.

You watched it?

Clay: I watched it, I cut the cord, and I was holding him two seconds later. It was just an unbelievable moment, knowwhatl mean?

How are you going to bring up your son?

Clay: I want him to do whatever he wants to do. You want to be a mechanic, go be a mechanic; you want to be in show business, fine. As long as you get your hair cut by Giuseppe Franco, hairdresser to real men. And I want him to know the value of money. I film everything all the time, talk to him on the camera and say, “Max, when you watch this tape, you’re going to realize what happened here,” and this and that, so he’ll know that his father was thinking 20 years ago to tell him things about life.

I grew up in Brooklyn, so I learned the hard way.

Did you inherit the Diceman attitude?

Clay: It comes from my mother. My mother had a motto: Do things and ask questions later. It was like when my sixth-grade teacher used to push us around during fire drills. We called him John Wayne. Once he slapped me, and I told my mother about it. She marched up to school and made him apologize in front of the whole class. Years later I was with my mom at a cheap hotel. Next door was the posh Browns Hotel. My mother wanted to go there, and I told her that they would throw us out. She looked at me and said, “Andrew, just do it and ask questions later.” We went there and we stayed. Thanks. Mom.

”I got an act,” I said to Johnny. “Could you imagine if I came onstage as Jerry Lewis’s Nutty Professor and turned into John Travolta from Grease?”

When did you know you wanted to be an entertainer?

Clay: When I was seven years old. That was all I was good at, entertaining. I was doing guys like Jerry Lewis, Elvis, Louie Armstrong, John Wayne. I was playing drums when I was seven.

When did you start doing comedy?

Clay: When I was 21, I saw Grease with my friend Hot Tub Johnny at the Oceana Theatre in Brighton Beach. See, at 17, I was already doing Travolta as Vinnie Berbarino. But that night it hit me. As we were driving home, I go, “That’s the act. I got an act.” I said to Johnny, “Could you imagine if I came onstage as Jerry Lewis’s Nutty Professor and I take my magic formula and I turn into Travolta from Grease?” So the very next day, I’m in a studio on Kings Highway with the Grease record, and I say, “Can you get the lead vocal out of this song?” Next thing. I’m booking studio time.

I go see the movie like a dozen times. to get the exact routine he does. Three weeks later, I go to Pips Wednesday night, their audition night. I’m in the kitchen in my Jerry Lewis garb, and the owner walks in and he gets scared, he sees this nut. You’d never recognize me once I put it all together. He goes, “Who are you?” I’m in character already, and I go, “I’m the guy you said looks like Travolta.” And I’m trying to stay in character. [Then he] brings me onstage, my family is there, my mother, my father, my grandmother, my sister, my aunt. my uncle, my cousins, Hot Tub Johnny. I come onstage being this human pity, which is the whole hook of the act. The crowd is booing, “Get the fuck off!” I’m echoing the crowd, “Boo, boo, get the fuck off, you cocksucker, you prick.” This is Brooklyn. The lights go out, I mix the formula, the crowd is still booing, and all of a sudden I snap my fingers, they turn the lights on, the hair is slicked back, I turn around with the cigarette — dead silence in the room. And then they’re screaming, “Fuck, yeah!” They’re nuts, they thought it was Travolta. They’re flipping out. I come up to the mike and I go, “So — you thought it couldn’t be done, right?” They’re like throwing the place apart. I do the “Greased Lightning” number, I’m on my way out of the place, the owners stop me and go, “You got a manager?” I look at my father and I go, “That’s my manager.” I had ten minutes, [and then I was] headlining my first week.

And it’s just been one success after another since then. How do you explain it?

Clay: Number one, I think I’m better than any comic who ever worked the planet. I can walk out in an arena without knowing a thing in my head. A lot of guys do an HBO special or an album, and they’ll do that same material for the next five years. I would be bored to tears. When I’m in concert, there are certain things I have to do because they want to hear it, like the poems. Or the impressions — I don’t mind doing it as long as I get 40 minutes out of stuff that is just a month old. I feel that a real comedian — dirty, clean, or whatever you are — should just be able to walk up and be funny. Jerry Lewis doesn’t have great jokes. He’s funny. He was funny when he was 15 and he’s funny now. Don Rickles — does he have to say a word? Rodney Dangerfield. These are just funny men.

There must be times when they don’t laugh. What does it feel like?

Clay: I love that. There are certain jokes I’ll do tonight in Pips — a big buildup. and at the end I kill it. To hear Nassau Coliseum go silent, you know, is just the funniest thing in the world to me. I’m supposed to be the greatest comic ever and you could hear a pin drop in the room. But then I get them back a second later, because I’m controlling them. I studied Elvis. Nobody had stage presence like Elvis, so I studied the best, only I didn’t go out to become a singer. I’m a comedian.

You see some guys out there and you wonder what they’re doing in comedy.

Clay: A lot of them are just public speakers. Today, anybody that’s got the balls to walk in front of a microphone and put in three, four years could put together an act. Some people laugh at them. So if there’s a need for it. why not? The good ones will survive.

Do comics support one another?

Clay: They hate each other’s guts. When I see them sitting together, knowing what they say about each other, it’s like, why don’t you just not talk to each other? They all think they’re in competition with each other when they’re not. Pricks. Motherfuckers. Scum of the earth, as far as I’m concerned. I wish I could say different. I’m not saying that there aren’t a few in there who aren’t nice people, but I’m looked upon as the prick because I’m up there with the black leather jacket, with the dirty mouth, with the bad attitude, and then you see all these other guys wearing their player jackets and their nice button-down shirts, and they’re not cursing, but it’s inside them. It’s what’s inside you that counts. I always felt I was the Serpico of comedy.

You read about what Jay Leno is saying about me? I went into the lmprov one time, there’s Leno with a big smile on — “Hey, Andrew, how you doing?”— ’cause he’s already heard I was pissed off. I go, “We got a problem, don’t we? Why are you acting nice to me now?” He goes, “If you don’t say things about me, I won’t say …” I said, “I never said anything about you, I never think about you, you’re nobody to me. Where do you come off going to HBO and this and that and telling people they can’t put me on. Who are you?” And he goes, “You know both of us went farther than we ever thought we would in comedy.” I said, “Hey, maybe you did. I’m just starting, man. There’s not going to be anybody bigger than me.”

That’s another thing that comics can’t take with me, because I’ve had this attitude since the day I started that I’m going to be the biggest ever. There’s no in-between, just like I said about loyalty. I couldn’t stay a middle-of-the-road comic, just making a living, because I want a life. Whenever a comic isn’t where they want to be, they start picking on me. Because when they talk about me, they get the press. So that’s what he’s doing. Next time I run into him, there’s going to be no talk. I grew up a certain way-you want to fuck with me, you’re going to pay the price, ya hear me, now?

What do you say to people who call your material the “comedy of hate”?

Clay: Let’s say I wasn’t a comic, and I made these, uh … speeches about women. Saying you should take your woman by her hair and make her suck your dick until it bleeds-I mean, that would be horrible. But because I’m a comic, I make it funny. I mean, I can talk about being in the gym, and say instead of going to the gym, banging a chick is the workout and you’re not paying $2,000 a year for a membership. So next time you get in bed with a girl, you might think about it and go, “Oh shit, he’s right. Look, I’m holding her under her ass, it’s hard to hold her up. I’m working on my biceps now.” It’s all how you look at something. I got a license to pick on anything because I’m a comic.

What does feminism mean to you?

Clay: It means that they want their rights and all that shit. Fine. What do I care?

Do you think feminists get upset if you hold the door open for them?

Clay: Yeah, well, it depends if they like the guy, I guess. If you’re feminine, there’s different ways of being a feminist. Is it the kind of job you want? Do you want it to end with your job or do you want to always pay for your date or do you always drive? That’s one of the problems with that, because there are no set rules. It’s like, “I’ll draw the rules later, but I want a job that pays $200,000 a year, but I also want a guy who’s going to pay the mortgage.” Is that where it is? Or are you splitting it down the middle? And there are certain women who just want a good job and they fight for their rights that way, you know, but yet they want a lover who takes control and holds their hand and opens the door for them.

In my act, there is only one way. Dice is a brick wall. With Dice it’s shut your mouth and open your legs. That trembling girl voice that I do — I can’t believe women take it seriously. There is no woman out there like that. Believe me, the ones I’ve been with tortured me. Youknowwhatlmean? You can never really figure them. I can figure guys because I am one. It’s like different animals; you got dogs and you got cats. I’ve studied women my whole life. I’m crazy about them. I talk about the animal in the person. The woman who’s Saying “Fuck the shit out of me,” and then she’s prim and proper in front of the family. Men have that in them, too. I have that in me. I’m just looking to see if I’ve got it all straight. Am I going to stand there and go, “Isn’t it beautiful when your girlfriend comes out all dressed up ready to go to a wedding?” That’s not funny. But talking about being at the wedding and taking her in the back and lifting her dress and banging her — that’s funny. That’s the joke of my act, you know? The act is more zany than it is dirty, when you think about it.

So you really love women?

Clay: Definitely. But what does loving a chick have to do with the point that you also like to fuck ’em? It’s two different things. It’s like the old expression: Every guy wants a lady, but in bed he wants a whore. I do. That’s what I like.

Can you be friends with a woman when you’re not screwing her?

Clay: Yeah, I am. Plenty of them. Most of them are ugly.

That’s why you’re not screwing them?

Clay: Yeah, yeah, I got women friends, plenty of them. But the woman I’m with, Trini, I got passion for her. I can be her friend, but I’m also her lover. You got to deliver on both ends.

“That trembling girl voice that I do — I can’t believe women take it seriously. There is no woman out there like that. The ones I’ve been with tortured me.”

Why do you admire Sylvester Stallone so much?

Clay: His will to survive and to constantly prove himself as a person, as an actor, as an artist against all the odds, in one of the roughest places ever to make a career. He beat them bigger than anybody. It was a complete thrill when I met him. When he put out Rocky, I was 17 and I sat in the movie theater on Avenue U, with my father, in Brooklyn. I caught that message. I’ve already lived through Rocky I and II I think I’m in Ill right now. What Rocky Ill is, you could be on top, but you’re not yet.

I know that I can fill stadiums. But after what happened with The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, after pulling the movie, and after giving me like … well, fuck ’em, you know? So I’m back in Brooklyn, and I’m saying, “Hey, I can just do shows, I could do one show a month and live comfortably, or I could just tour and do albums, or do I want to go out there and prove what I am as an actor? Am I ready to go back and take that beating?” It’s a little scary, but in my heart I know I’m a fighter and I probably will win the Academy Award. Cause that’s my nature. If we can’t come in the front door, we come in the back door, we come in through the roof, we come in from the side, we dig a tunnel and come in from underneath. But nobody fucks with Dice. Dice does the fucking, ya hear?

I hear you. Okay, let’s talk a bit about Nora Dunn and Sinead O’Connor.

Clay: Nora Dunn was a nobody trying to become a somebody after a long stint on “Saturday Night Live.” Her contract was just about up and she figured she’d take a shot and try to get some PR. for herself. It backfired and just made more millions watch the show than would have normally watched. I was actually a fan of Sinead O’Connor until after what she did with “The Star-Spangled Banner.” That was horrible. If you’re from another country and you’re making a living in the U.S., the least you can do is show some respect for this country, which she didn’t show. They should boot her ass out of here.

What actually happened when you were banned from MTV?

Clay: I didn’t come on “Saturday Night Live” to curse. I didn’t go on MTV to curse. I went on MTV to do a good job, goof with the crowd a little, and bring on Cher. But when I went out there, I was frazzled. I started doing some of the poems that I knew I could get away with. Like “Little Miss Muffet.” You could get away with “What’s in the bowl, bitch?” But then I started this new poem: “Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean, so Jack ignored her flabby tits and licked her ass hole clean,” ya hear? When I started that poem — it was a new poem — I didn’t even realize, my mind was on automatic, you know? I was just trying to get through this thing because they frazzled me. In the middle of the poem, I’m thinking, “What am I going to do? I got to finish it or else I’m going to look like a jerk-off.” All hell broke loose, basically. The good part of what happened was that it just accelerated me to the biggest arena comic who ever lived. The bad part was that I got banned from MTV, which I wasn’t looking to do because I dig MTV. Maybe one day we’ll work it out. Who knows?

Don’t you think the ban was surprising? Aren’t those guys at MTV hypocritical?

Clay: It’s all sex. Sex sells. That’s the bottom line. They have videos of girls with G-strings up their asses. If there were no girls in videos, there’d be no videos. Cher did hers where she’s wearing basically nothing. I loved it. You know, she’s not banging anybody, she’s just in a sexy outfit. Madonna grabs her crotch, Michael Jackson grabs his crotch. Let it go, forget about it, go on. Let’s go on. If they were smart, they would have me host that frigging network.

Are there groupies in the world of comedy?

Clay: Oh yeah, definitely, but I have somebody who I’m crazy about, and who I’m loyal to, so I don’t get involved with it. I mean, there was one time, years ago, when I was just doing clubs, I saw a girl standing on her head and doing the alphabet backwards, with another one doing cartwheels. Anybody can go get laid, but to have a girl actually standing on her head saying the alphabet backwards while her friend is doing cartwheels is hilarious. It’s better than getting laid. I’d rather have that good laugh. But I don’t fuck around with groupies. You’ve got to dance with the one who brung you.

Is there a racial aspect to your humor?

Clay: I do some black stuff and it’s funny, but a white audience does get nervous. The blacks will just go with it. I love that about them. They don’t get stiff, they just laugh at how ridiculous it sounds:

All the material you do is your material? You don’t have writers?

Clay: Every word of it is mine.

And what about your fans? Doesn’t it get to be a drag sometimes to walk out and get mobbed?

Clay: My fans are crazy. Last week I was in this Brooklyn deli and I was in a big rush because there were a lot of people around and I was just looking to get out of there, and this woman comes over and she wants an autograph. And I go, “Not right now, honey, I’m in a rush,” and she goes, “I used to be a big fan,” and I said, “Good, goodbye, why do I give a shit? If you can’t respect who I am as a person, I don’t need you as a fan.” Little kids are different. When a little kid comes over for an autograph, you sign the autograph.

But an adult should understand — “Dice’s living among us, it obviously hasn’t gone to his head, and he just wants to be there.” I love my fans, but it’s a matter of respect, let a guy do what he’s doing. It’s great to meet a fan — “Hey, how you doing, Dice?” But to stand and start signing napkins and matchbooks?

But it goes with the fame and success, doesn’t it?

Clay: Yeah, it does. But there’s a time and a place for it.

Have you ever gone through a drug stage?

Clay: Yeah, when I was in places like Alabama, trying to call my house and my ex-wife was never home, that kind of shit.

Once I smoked a joint before I went over to the Comedy Store, and the next thing I know, I’m sitting on my ass in the bathroom. The comics were putting cold towels on me and shit, and I finally got myself together enough to go home and call Hot Tub Johnny, 4 AM. his time, and he talked me down until the sun was coming in my apartment.

So you never really got into drugs?

Clay: No. I couldn’t be funny ripped out of my mind. Let’s say like the marriage thing ended and I didn’t walk away from the drugs. I would have never gotten to this level. Any kid reading this-if you think doing drugs is a cool thing and that you fit In with everybody, you’re going to wind up destroyed or dead.

That’s why you don’t have any drug humor?

Clay: There’s nothing funny about drugs. You want to smoke cocaine and die, is that funny? Guys go into the fucking toilet and never come out. Belushi, Freddie Prinze. I ran into Belushi at the Comedy Store. A week later he was dead. He used to like my leather. We would rap, before he started getting stoned at night. He was a real nice guy, real funny. One night I come to the club and it’s “Did you hear who died?” It was horrible.

What’s the last thing you want to say to your fans?

Clay: Number one, be loyal to your family and friends. If you’ve got that, anything else is extra. Don’t quit — if you’re a quitter, then when you’re an old man going “I could’ve been,” people will go, “If you could’ve been, then you would’ve been.” So if you give it an honest shot, you’ll know in your heart you did the right thing.

And what’s the last thing you’d like to say to people who have no clue what you’re about?

Clay: I was put on earth to entertain. That’s what I’m supposed to do, that’s what I love to do, and nobody is stopping me from that. Dice will be around for a long time. Nobody fucks with Dice. Dice does the fucking, ya hear?

The Andrew Dice Clay Addendum: We hear ya.

(There is always an addendum with Mr. Clay, we have found.)

Lest one decide that vulgarity when out with the 90s, we will gently remind you of genre aficionados from within these very pages. Should you be completely captivated by Andrew Dice Clay at this moment, you probably appreciated the “NOW and THEN” header image for this article. You might also be interest in “The Diceman Cometh” comedy special which, at least as of this publication, one could find still available on YouTube. While you may not appreciate the humor all of the time, odds remain extremely high that you will understand it more easily than one might Eugene O’Neill.