Normally, an interview with a massage therapist doesn’t make for a very exciting read. But throw in the biggest names in rock-n-roll, Hollywood stars, and a sexy masseuse who’s not afraid to say where her hands have been, and you’ve got a lifetime supply of celebrity dish.
The Amazing Therapy of Dr. Dot
Her name is Dorothy Stein. But to rock stars young and old, she’s known simply as Dr. Dot. Stein claims she was given the title by none other than Frank Zappa while touring with his band in 1988. Apparently it stuck, and a legend was born.
Over the years, Dr. Dot has wrapped her hands around some of the hottest stars in the music biz, including Mick Jagger, Sting, Eminem, Sheryl Crow, the Who, David Byrne, Justin Timberlake, Courtney Love, and Gene Simmons. The good doctor’s online scrapbook, DrDot.com, boasts a long list of glowing testimonials from her satisfied superstar clients — including Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant, who describes her hands as “amazing.” And just for the record, Dr. Dot really is a licensed masseuse, even though she didn’t start out as one.
But this 35-year-old’s early ambition wasn’t to give celebrities the best massage of their life. Like any starstruck teenage groupie, Stein set out to find her way backstage at local concerts. Unwilling to provide sexual favors, the then -15-year-old wore make-up, miniskirts, and high heels, and came up with an ingenious proposal that would soon become a career. While waiting outside a Hampton, Virginia, arena before a Def Leppard concert, Stein approached the band’s guitarist, Phil Collen, with her “no sex” plan for success. Her unique idea caught the band’s interest. Sidestepping a long line of eager groupies, Dr. Dot quickly found herself on the band’s tour bus. The rest, as they say, is kneading history.
Born in Manchester, Connecticut, and raised by ultraliberal bohemian parents, Dr. Dot grew up on a daily dose of the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Grateful Dead, and Frank Zappa. By the time she was ten, Dr. Dot had attended more than 20 Dead concerts. Her early exposure to rock-n-roll, mixed with her burning desire to be in the company of her guitar heroes, sparked an insatiable appetite for unforgettable backstage thrills. Not to mention enough full-frontal views to last a lifetime.
“It’s unbelievable how much people talk about their private lives when you’re massaging them. Think about how much people talk at the hairdresser. Imagine how much they talk when they’re naked and relaxed with their legs spread open!”
As one might expect, many of the stars Dr. Dot has massaged, both male and female, have put their moves on the sexy therapist — but she claims to reject their advances. “If I gave them what they want, they’d have no respect for me and never want to see me again,” she says.
Besides seeking a six-figure book deal (she plans to publish an English version of a book she had published in Germany, Butt-Naked and Backstage), Dr. Dot is pitching a how-to DVD that includes her infamous “bite method,” in which she kneads large chunks of back flesh with her mouth. And when not touring with the Stones or soothing Sting’s aching bones, she offers sex and relationship advice.
In rock-n-roll circles, you’ve become a living legend. You must give one hell of a massage.
I’ve been told I give the best massage in the world by hundreds of rock stars. So it must be true.
You call yourself a doctor. Dare I ask what medical school Dr. Dot attended?
If you look up the word doctor in the dictionary, it says “to repair something broken or flawed.” That’s what I do. I fix people. I help them. Actually, I got the name Dr. Dot from Frank Zappa.
Exactly how did you get the name Dr. Dot?
I was massaging Frank Zappa’s whole band during their 1988 Broadway the Hard Way tour. I would never charge them money. I would massage them all for free. So Frank would always say, “Go get the doctor!” whenever he wanted a massage. That’s how I got the name Dr. Dot.
How many years have you been a rock-n-roll masseuse?
I’ve been massaging people since I was five years old. I started by massaging hippie parents. They would just lie around, and I would walk on their backs. My parents were only 17 when they had me during the Summer of Love. But I massaged my first rock star when I was 15.
Who was that?
Def Leppard.
The entire band?
Yeah! My girlfriend wanted to meet them so badly. But we didn’t have enough money for tickets. So I decided since I was so good at massage, why not trade a massage instead of a blowjob in order to get into the show for free? That’s how it all started.
Would you consider yourself a groupie?
It depends on what your definition of groupie is. If your definition of a groupie is someone who loves music, [yells] then call me a fucking groupie! But if your definition of a groupie is someone who just fucks rock stars for the hell of it, then I’m not a groupie. I don’t need to do that. In fact, if you do fuck a rock star, you’ll probably never see them again, because they want a different girl every day.
Did you see the film Almost Famous?
I saw it many times.
Would it be fair to say your life is similar to that of Kate Hudson’s character?
Not really. I thought it was a very G-rated version of the real story. There’s a lot more shit going on than that on tour. But it’s true: Rock stars will just throw you away like in the movie. I saw that kind of behavior all the time. They always make fun of the groupies on the bus. You’ll hear things like, “Hey, did you see that girl with the backstage pass with the letter B on it?”
What does the letter B on a backstage pass mean?
It means she’s already blown somebody and the band won’t have her. The roadies will put a little letter B on the backstage pass if a groupie gave them a blowjob. That’s a standard code to let the band know she blew someone to get backstage. See, the crew never gets laid unless they have a certain number of backstage passes to give away. So they use them to get as much trim as they can. But they’ll always let the band know by putting little symbols on the pass what the girl did to get backstage. Once you’re marked, the band will have nothing to do with you. I promised that would never happen to me. I was only 15 when I found that out. I learned really, really fast.
Just out of curiosity, how old was Dr. Dot when she lost her virginity?
I was between 14 and 15. But I gave my first blowjob when I was in the seventh grade. I love sex! Period!
You’re currently shopping around a book. Should certain rock stars be nervous about it?
Well, if they acted badly, then maybe they should be nervous. But I don’t want to come across as Heidi Fleiss. It’s my life story. It’s a diary of my life. I always kept track of everything that was going on. When I massage a band, I remember everything that happened. But I would never bite the hand that feeds me. I’m not that stupid.
I would think that most rock stars want more than just a therapeutic rubdown. How often do you get hit on for something more?
A lot. A very big rap star wanted more than just a massage, but I’m not telling you his name because I don’t want to end up on the wrong end of a drive-by shooting!
We don’t want that to happen to us either, so I’ll move on. So everyone is naked when you massage them?
Everybody.
That said, you’ve probably seen just about every rock-n-roll penis there is.
Yeah. It’s true. That’s why nothing shocks me anymore.
Who has the biggest penis?
It’s hard to say. It’s close between Tommy Lee and the singer of the Romantics — Wally Palmar — believe it or not.
Wally Palmar?
I can’t believe I remember his fucking name. He had the hugest dick I ever saw!
What can you tell us about Mick Jagger?
I can tell you that I had a huge fight with him once, and we’re still friends.
What did you and Mick fight about?
He screamed at me backstage because I was putting up Dr. Dot once on the wall. The crew loved it, but fliers Mick thought I was getting too much attention and flew into a rage. He ripped the fliers down off the wall and got rid all of the massage room.
Did you yell back?
No! Are you crazy? I put my tail between my legs and whimpered off.
You’ve also massaged Courtney Love. Is she as unstable as the press makes her out to be?
Talk about crazy! You might think it’s an act with her, but it’s not an act! She’s exactly how she appears. I think she’s freaked out by fame. A lot of people who feel that they don’t deserve it freak out when they finally get it.
In the past, Courtney hasn’t been shy when it comes to talking about her love affairs with other rock stars. Did she share any of her personal life with you?
She’s outspoken about everything. She asked me if I wanted to fuck anybody in Hollywood, who would it be? I told her, and she held up her little finger said, “Don’t even fucking bother. I’ve been there!” Then she held up hands really far apart, dropped the name of another young A-list actor, and said, “Now, that motherfucker is packing a mean pistol!”
Who has the best body of all the rock stars you’ve massaged?
We have to break it down into and female. Of the males, I would male say it’s a tie between Sting and Roger Daltrey. The best female was Lauryn Hill. Hands down.
Worst body?
I won’t answer that question. Never! That’s the most evil taboo in the world.
Are you into chicks as much as you’re into men?
Yeah. If Angelina Jolie even looked at me the wrong way, it would be all over!
Do you get hit on by female rock stars as well?
Just two. Courtney was flirting with me, but I’d rather not say who the other onewas. I’m sure Courtney wouldn’t mind. I don’t think she’s a lesbian. I think she’s more of a threesome kind of girl.
Let me guess … Sheryl Crow?
She’s definitely not lesbo. She didn’t flirt with me at all. She’s the most fucking coolest female star! She’s smoking hot and so real. I really love her.
Mariah Carey?
She’s really sexy. She’s really well polished and very well taken care of. She’s very private and doesn’t like people talking about her. She has her people sign confidentiality agreements before you even get to meet her.
How surprised are you that these very private people let you get so close to them and share so much private information about themselves?
It’s unbelievable how much people talk about their private lives when massaging them. Think how muchpeople talk at the hairdresser. Imagine how much they talk when they’re naked relaxed with their legs spread open. But I think these people enjoy being talked about. You don’t climb your way up the way these people do unless you enjoy being talked about. I don’t care what they say.
“I got the name Dr. Dot from Frank Zappa. If you look up doctor in the dictionary, it says ‘to repair something broken or flawed.’ That’s what I do. I fix people. I help them.”
Is it true you dated Joey Ramone?
He was my first boyfriend, yeah. People don’t like talking about that because I was only 15 at the time. But Joey thought I was 19. This is how stuff with R. Kelly happens. Girls lie about their age. I said I was 19 even though I was really 15, and I dated him on and off for a few years. Now suddenly people say, “Don’t talk about it because it puts Joey in a bad light now that he’s dead. Let him rest in peace!” I’m sorry, but I can’t erase the past. I was very close to Joey right up until his death. I got e-mails from him just months before he died. He reviewed my chapter on the Ramones and said it was great. He just asked me to take it easy on Johnny [Ramone]. I can’t believe he said that, because Johnny was such a fucking prick. Everybody hated him. Even the crew. Yet Joey still went to bat for him. Even at the end. So I did what he asked and toned it down a bit. I was ruthless to Johnny.
What did you write about Johnny that was so bad?
He just bossed everyone around and he was a prick about it. He stole Joey’s girlfriend, and he made her get a tit job and only paid for half of it. To this day, everyone jokes that only one tit belongs to him! I’m sorry if that upsets people, but if someone is an asshole, they’re an asshole. You can’t change history and lie about it.
How old was Joey?
He was 29.
Isn’t that a felony?
Hey, since when has an age difference stopped a guy from taking some 15-year-old trim? Never! But it was never really sexual between Joey and me. I think he knew in the back of his head I was too young. We never went all the way. We did everything else … but never had intercourse. Every kind of sex but intercourse.
What did you like most about Joey Ramone?
His sense of humor. He was the funniest person I ever knew. He was also the best kisser of all. He had the best and juiciest lips ever! He was so romantic. He would hold me and just pet my hair for hours. He was so fucking sweet and romantic. He wasn’t a big talker, but when he did talk, he was sarcastic and really funny! When he died, I was so upset.
Tell me about Gene Simmons.
I gave him his first massage ever! He’s such a control freak that he’d never had a massage before. I massaged Kiss for years. But he never got one. The first thing he ever said to me was, “Are those lips real?” I thought, Who the fuck is this?
Gene claims to have slept with thousands of women. I’m guessing he hit on you. But the question is, did he score?
He definitely hit on me! It was the funniest thing in the world. His manager said, “Gene wants a massage.” So I said, “Okay, but if I give him a massage and he tries anything, I’m going to charge you $250 and I’m leaving!” He said, “No, no. He really wants a real massage.” So I went up to his room and as soon as I walked in the door, he turned the lights off and pinned me up against the door and started to lick me. I was so mad! He ended up just sitting on his bed and talking to me. He told me how women should be glad men cheat on their wives, because otherwise we would all be walking around like Mongoloids because our gene pools would be all messed up. He’s actually a very funny person. He’s the most honest rock star I ever met. He doesn’t lie. He finally let me massage him, and he ended up loving it.
So you didn’t get to experience his famous tongue?
It’s really not as big as you might think.
What was it like spending two weeks on the road with Eminem?
He is so fucking cool! The first time I heard his name, I thought he was a candy. We bonded right away. I told him he looked just like my brother, and he treated me like his sister after that. He was always asking me if I was hungry or if I wanted something to drink. Anyone who writes something bad about him just can’t get an interview with him. I love him!
What’s the best way for a groupie to get backstage?
Sign up as a runner. You run your ass off all night, but it beats having to blow some hairy, fat guy you don’t know.
What’s the kinkiest thing a rock star ever asked you to do?
I won’t mention names, but a rock star once asked me to massage his dick while wearing leather gloves. Weird.
Besides your talented digits, you also moonlight as a sex and relationship advice columnist.
I love sex! If you say you don’t, you’re a fucking liar! I use all my experience to help others. I’ve had a lot of sex and I’ve seen a lot of sex.
Does it make a guy gay if he wants a girl to fuck him with a strap-on?
No. Men love having stuff put in their ass. The more powerful the man, the more he wants stuff stuck up his ass. It doesn’t make him gay at all. Sometimes the guy needs to be fucked.
Biggest mistake women can make while giving oral sex?
Teeth!
Best way for a man to get laid?
Humor! Fuck money. Just make us laugh.
Finally, in the words of Neil Young — whom you’ve also massaged — is it better to burn out than to fade away?
Burn out, baby! Just keep going and going until you burn out!
Full disclosure, before looking, none of us was particularly confident that Dr. Dot would even have a website. Silly us. … She actually has a web site at drdots.com, but she clearly does not pay much attention to it, as it does not even have a secure certificate protecting it, so most browsers will not even show it without scaring you with warnings. She does, however, have Instagram which indicates she continues her fandom with Frank Zappa and cats, if nothing else. Don’t you just love interesting people?
