As this magazine proves monthly, flesh-and-blood women can be as hot as hell. But we’ve also known some drool-worthy animated ladies.
The Penthouse Animated Top 40
- WICKED WANDA and SWEET CHASTITYThat’s right, we’re starting off with our own creations. Sue us for self-interest if you must, but we think you’ll find that even the most impartial judge would rule that both these smokin’ sirens are worthy of inclusion on this list.
- JESSICA RABBITWho Framed Roger Rabbit’s curvy, redheaded singer — who was based on actress/pinup model Veronica Lake — assured us she wasn’t bad; she was just drawn that way. Personally, we thought she was drawn pretty damn well. Still, all men can learn a lesson from her reason for marrying a rabbit: “He makes me laugh.”
- CATWOMANBack in the nineties, Michelle Pfeiffer purred her way into our hearts in her vinyl Catwoman getup, but the slinky antihero who loves her whip was just as impossible to ignore when embodied by the luscious Julie Newmar and Lee Meriwether, the growly Eartha Kitt, the way-too-sexy-for-such-a-bad-movie Halle Berry, and in her original curvy comic-book incarnation.
- LARA CROFTEven back when Tomb Raider first hit our computer screens and Lara had triangle-shaped boobs — and before Angelina Jolie so completely embodied her in two live-action films — this dual-pistol-wielding archaeologist elevated our, um, spirits.
- WONDER WOMANShe’s got tantalizing curves and a low-cut, supersexy leotard — not to mention impressive fighting skills and an invisible plane — so we’re thinking this amazing Amazonian doesn’t even need her Lasso of Truth. What man wouldn’t willingly submit to her?
- THE BARONESS— or to G.I. Joe’s Cobra intelligence expert? We’re guessing that seeing British bombshell Sienna Miller in that tight dominatrix-style outfit will be the high point of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.
- STRIPPERELLAPamela Anderson took her cartoon character status seriously as Stan Lee’s voluptuous, crime-fighting, leather-wearing superhero stripper, even if she did have to face off against foes like Queen Clitoris.
- EMMA FROSTThis X-Men villain-turned-hero from Boston made our jaw drop when envisioned by artist Greg Horn. Who doesn’t love a hot babe with gorgeous long hair who runs around in a skimpy costume?
- RAYNEDon’t be fooled by the cute red bob, corseted top, leather pants, and stiletto boots. BloodRayne’s heroine showed us exactly why we should never mess with a half-human/half-vampire who’s out for revenge. Not that we don’t still love her.
- JOANNA DARKPerfect Dark’s mercenary has always been a formidable protagonist, but she got infinitely hotter after her makeover for Perfect Dark Zero, which included a revealing new jumpsuit.
- STORMAnother X-Man? Um, yeah. This white-haired, weather-controlling superhero is more than beautiful; she’s positively electric.
- DEATHThis member of Sandman’s Endless — with her ghostly pale skin, an eye rimmed to resemble the Egyptian Eye of Horus, and a silver ankh necklace — will guide you to the underworld. If this is what’s in store when we kick the bucket, we anticipate going peacefully.
- AEON FLUXThis secret agent may be insanely skinny and overly muscular, but we still get off on the barely there getup and limitless flexibility.
- FOXXY LOVEIn the Big Brother-inspired satire Drawn Together, this bisexual, tailed musician parades around in a bikini-like superhero outfit. Just what the live show needs for next season.
- RED HOT RIDING HOODTex Avery knew what he,was doing when he directed this short film that features a sexed-up adult Red Riding Hood singing the seductive “Daddy” in a Sunset Strip nightclub.
- HOLLI WOULDIn Cool World, created by Ralph Baskhi (Fritz the Cat), this buxom blonde is like a sexy female Pinocchio. After she seduces human cartoonist Jack Deebs, she stops at nothing to become a real woman.
- THE WOMEN OF THE LOST GIRLSAlice from Wonderland, Wendy from Peter Pan, and Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz experience their sexual awakenings in graphic ways in this limited-edition story by Alan Moore.
- VAMPIRELLAThis bloodsucker who protects Earth from malicious vampires isn’t affected by sunlight, garlic, or anything else we usually carry on a date. Good thing we’d welcome a little nibble from her.
- TAARNAHeavy Metal’s warrior is beautiful, yes, but it’s her relentless pursuit to hunt down the villains who destroyed her city — even after she’s survived capture and torture — that makes her truly sexy.
- HANA AND RAINOne gorgeous woman in a videogame is standard, but Fear Effect 2: Retro Helix boasts two magnificent mercenaries who just happen to be lovers. Score!
- GLORIAThis Devil May Cry 4 villain with the shockingly blue eyes and bright white hair may look like new eye candy, but-spoiler alert! — she’s revealed to be the delicious devil hunter Trish.
- BRENDA STARRThe original celebrity journalist, with all those romantic flings, should have landed herself on the front page. The fiery-haired, adventurous reporter is lucky there’s no funny-page version of TMZ.
- THE DANGER GIRLSLike Charlie’s Angels, the buxom secret agents of Danger Girl frequently use their espionage missions as an excuse to wear the tightest clothes possible.
- ELEKTRANinjas usually dress in black, but this katana-wielding beauty has a penchant for red, and for killing men, so you won’t find us protesting her crimson choice.
- THE WITCHES OF TAROT: WITCH OF THE BLACKROSEWitches with huge breasts who run around naked and hook up with one another? Please, sir, may we have another installment?
- ALICIAThe game Bullet Witch was mediocre, but the goth witch Alicia, with her long black hair, piercing eyes, and leather outfit, made it worth playing for a little while.
- MAJOR MOTOKO KUSANAGIFrom her oversize breasts to her long legs, this deeply intelligent beauty in Ghost in the Shell has the best cybernetic body we’ve seen. She’s also very well-armed.
- THE WOMEN OF SOUL CALIBURIvy’s titanic tits may overshadow the rest of the ladies, but the insane Tira, the maiden Valeria, and the evil Shura are equally sexy.
- FAYE VALENTINEHot pants have gone out of style, sadly, but this curvy bounty hunter in Cowboy Bebop sports bright yellow ones most of the time, and oozes sex — and sarcasm. That ain’t no crime!
- DAPHNE BLAKEScooby Doo’s sexy meddling kid cared more about fashion than solving crimes — and often ended up as the damsel in distress — but her boyfriend, Fred Jones, never seemed to mind.
- ADA WONGIn Resident Evil, this double agent investigates the Umbrella Corporation, which was responsible for the zombie outbreaks. She did so in a tight, red miniskirt in the nineties, but we love the ankle-length sheath with the slit up to there that she sported in RE4.
- CHUN LIThe first playable female character in the one-on-one brawling game Street Fighter is a powerful “spring beauty” with enormous boobs and killer fighting moves who wears a blue qipao. She brings new meaning to the phrase make love, not war.
- CASSIE HACKThis brutal Gothic beauty in Hack/Slash has a Suicide Girls profile and may be realized by Megan Fox in a live-action film.
- EDEAFinal Fantasy VIII’s evil sorceress in the cleavage-baring black dress later became a powerful member of the team.
- KAI LEENAEvery prince needs a woman to rescue, and in Prince of Persia, our hero must save this fair beauty. Now if only the wind would shift that dress just a little —
- NARIKOThe young, redheaded warrior of Heavenly Sword must protect what is left of her city with the help of her mighty sword. What were you expecting us to say, semiautomatic?
- PRINCESS ZELDALink has a thing for Zelda, but we never gave her a second glance until the graphics in Super Smash Bros. Brawl showed us just how lust-worthy she is, elf ears and all. And now that we’ve worked our way to fond memories of days gone by —
- TINKER BELL— the family-friendly but sexy, feisty, and very petite blonde fairy makes us want to believe —
- CRYSTA— as much as Fern Gully’s fairy in an equally tiny dress makes us want to save the world from big, bad developers and polluters.
- MALEFICENTBut Sleeping Beauty’s self-proclaimed Mistress of All Evil may be our favorite villainess. She’s model-thin in her human form, nasty as all get out in her gigantic dragon form, and has a supremely dark sense of humor. Now that’s a mistress worth serving.
So there you have it. Not all of us agree with the order of this list, in honesty, but apparently we were supposed to put it up exactly as they listed them in the magazine back in 2009. Has no one ever heard that if you refuse to learn from history, you are doomed to repeat it?