Once you’ve mastered pelvic massage on your own, teach your lover how to do it to you.
Think Outside the Box — as it were
Every guy alive likes to have his penis massaged, but if you want to experience something really special, pay attention to your entire pelvis. Sadly, few men ever fool around with themselves there, few of their lovers know what to do, and even fewer masseuses delve into the pelvic area, fearing accusations of misconduct. But some sexual healers consider it sacred work and will even help you do it yourself.
“The goal is to help a guy articulate his pelvis so his whole body can speak the language of love,” says Marci Javril of the Vital Energy Center in Los Angeles. That means activating all the muscles, front and back, from belly button to pubic bone and from lower back to anus. The resulting increased circulation, muscle tone, and mobility help a man vibrate, undulate — and last longer.
Javril teaches men how to go beyond just getting their rocks off by using her “Tracing the Diamond Under the Rocks” pelvic self-massage technique. Lie on your back with feet propped up on a couch or pillows, hips lifted in the air, penis and scrotum lying against your stomach out of the way (hold with one hand if necessary). Locate the sit bones (bicycle bones), and “walk” your finger-tips forward in small steps along your inner thigh and the base of your penis to your pubic bone, then back to the sit bones, diagonally pressing into your butt cheeks to the base of your spine. Repeat tracing this diamond shape for up to three minutes, breathing slowly and relaxing.
In “Sliding Down the Two Rivers,” lay your penis between your legs and, starting at the top of the hipbone, slide your fingers or the flat of your hand along a path three to four inches wide downward on a diagonal toward the base of your penis, then up again. Repeat ten times. Join your fingers at your belly button and follow a similar wide path down your love trail to the base of your penis and up again. Repeat ten times.
Next try out the “Lower-Beltway Stroke,” tracing Hula-Hoop-like circles firmly and slowly around the upper-most part of your thighs, groin, and crease of the butt, then sliding up and down either side of the muscles of the inner, outer thigh, and back of the thigh.
“Most men are way too rigid in sex,” says Michele Wortman, a North Carolina massage therapist who specializes in assisting men achieve “coccy-geal release” (loosening the tailbone) to have a wider range of motion for forward thrusts and hip rotations. “Releasing muscles around the tail-bone frees guys to feel up and down their spine, to connect their little head with their big head.” Men with lower-back pain, who hold in anger, or who feel like a beaten dog tucking in its tail need this exercise the most.
Wortman’s internal massage accesses multiple muscle groups through the rectum, but she also coaches men on how to do her “Tailbone Tango” technique themselves. Lie on your side and gently move your index finger down to the tip of the spine (the tailbone). Slide the index and middle fingers to either side of the tailbone and make circular motions, applying gentle pressure, for two minutes. In Step Two, move the fingers about one inch lower, under the tail bone (closer to the anus), and press gently in small circular motions for another two minutes. Relax and repeat.
Don’t give up. If it feels tender, hold the spot and breathe until the tenderness subsides. If you’re tense, squeeze the anal muscles and release. If you experience eruptions of the skin (pimples, hot flashes, rash), emotions (laughter, anger, bawling tears), thoughts, or memories (of a past lover, a childhood bully brawl), let them surface, and they will pass (hard to do, but well worth it).
“Don’t expect to get aroused,” Javril says. But I know that such instructions are just the trick to get guys to relax and rid them of performance anxiety so that they really turn on.
Once you’ve mastered pelvic massage on your own, teach your lover how to do it to you. She’ll welcome your instructions. Then do it back to her, so both your pumps will be primed for ecstasy.
