Tiffany Grayson

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Tiffany Grayson: Dream Lover

Draped in lace or wearing little more than a smile, this Penthouse Cyber Cutie sets hearts racing. Her sensual cam work has earned her rave reviews that praise her stunning looks and sultry moves. You can easily see why this gorgeous babe has fans all over the globe, but she’s more than just a pretty face.

As Tiffany explains, “I’m so much more than you can see on the surface.”

While not all the many sides to lovely Tiffany lend themselves well to photographic efforts, these photos show some of her best! She tells Penthouse, “I love modeling. I love exposing my body in sexy pictures.”

We can begin with the basics about the blonde bombshell, because one needs to start somewhere. So we decided to start with what the magazine subscribers learned.

AGE: 22
MEASUREMENTS: 36C-25-35
HEIGHT: 5’11”
NATIVE COUNTRY: Romania

What do you think are your best qualities?

I have the ability to make every day a beautiful memory, enjoying them in all the best ways.

What is your favorite fantasy?

I’ve always wanted to wake up in one of those overwater bungalows … The ocean breeze awakens me, next to a handsome man. I look into his eyes. He’s gazing at me, and I feel his hand slowly moving upward, almost touching me between my legs. I’m already wet, biting my lip and slowly moving closer to him to kiss him. We start touching each other, and then we have the best sex ever.

What’s the biggest turn-on for you?

I love when a man whispers sweet words to me.

Tiffany Grayson: ONLINE

The layout in the magazine featured naked pictures, of course — which we’ve nothing against in principle — although we do not publish that sort of thing out here where eyes of any age might be wandering about.

Also, the magazine editors put a decidedly American spin on Tiffany’s answers to their questions. We understand the decision, and do not wish to imply any ineptitude in their choice on the matter. That said, Tiffany does not happen to speak English as a first language, and honestly we found her phrasing and diction charming and endearing.

From that perspective, then, we have decided to add a few additional questions and answers exactly as Tiffany actually responded. Hey, Tiffany speaks English a whole lot better than anyone here can speak Romanian. We’re bragging, not complaining.

What is your favorite thing about your job?

The opportunity to explore new things, to find out new perspectives, develop my imagination and creativity, and of course … talking with so many people gives me confidence.

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I’m going to gym, I like it quite a lot there. I love nature, so I go in parks during the weekends … and I like to run there.

Favorite shows and movies?

Titanic, of course [would be] my favorite — and lots of action movies. My favorite TV show is Orange is the New Black.

Favorite way to relax?

Walking on the grass with my bare feet.

What do you consider kinky?

I don’t think that I have something in my mind about that.

If you could have sex with anyone past or present, who would you pick?

I don’t know, even the sexiest celebrities, might have something wrong. So I’m not thinking about that.

You see? Phrasing and nuance really come through more when you try to leave the wording alone. You get a better sense of the individual when you read her words instead of some editor’s. At least that would be our opinion here. … We’re not saying the rigid, oh-so-proper, magazine folks are wrong, of course. They simply have different priorities.

Yet no one in that official Publishing Department ever asks us to write for the print mag. It’s a mystery.

While we ponder that, we have a final wish for everyone: O zi minunată tuturor! … Now we have no way to verify this, but according to Google, that means, “Everyone have a great day!” in Romanian. Google should know, right? … If you do want to learn Romanian so that you might talk to Ms. Tiffany Grayson more natively, we applaud you. Also, hit us back when you learn how to say, “Everyone have a great day!”

OH! By the way, should you wish to speak with Tiffany yourself and ask her something we might have missed, we can help with that too. … FIND TIFFANY: tiffany-grayson.flirt4free.com. (Be aware that this link may take you to the sort of imagery we do not feature on the free penthouse.com so watch out for people looking over your shoulder.) … Should you wish to find other inspiration for some lesser-known, yet still exceptional, women, we can help you out right in these pages.

Tom Brady

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Field Goals

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady will enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame in a few years as one of the greatest, if not the greatest quarterback in National Football League history. But all the records and all the accolades that have been bestowed upon him are just an ode to past glories. 

The challenge Brady, 44, and the Bucs are facing this season is one of the most difficult in all of pro football: winning back-to-back Super Bowl championships. 

The feat has been accomplished just eight times in the Super Bowl’s 55-year history. Not surprisingly, it was Brady’s New England Patriots that were the last to win consecutive championships when they defeated the Carolina Panthers 32-29 in the 2004 Super Bowl and the Philadelphia Eagles, 24-21, the following year.

That was nearly two decades ago, though — long before anyone was calling Brady the GOAT, the greatest of all time.

Other teams that repeated were the Green Bay Packers (1967-68); Miami Dolphins (1973-74); Pittsburgh Steelers (1975-76); Pittsburgh Steelers again (1979-80); San Francisco 49ers (1989-1990); Dallas Cowboys (1993-94); and Denver Broncos (1998-1999). 

Brady hears optimistic Bucs fans — still breathless from the Super Bowl victory this past February, no doubt — speaking of winning two straight like it is a fait accompli.

“I think the assumption [that it won’t be hard] comes from the belief that it will just be exactly like it was last year,” Brady said this summer. “The reality is everything is different. The teams will approach you a little bit differently.”

Brady knows Super Bowls. He’s played in ten of them, winning seven titles and five Super Bowl Most Valuable Player awards, but only once has he won consecutive championships.

“You’ve got to stay focused on what’s really important,” Brady said. “How do you improve? How do you get better from week to week, day to day? Improve your routine, improve your communication with your teammates [and] with your coaches. Not allow your mind to really fall into this position that you make this assumption that just because you did something in February that you’ll do it again next February because that’s not the reality of football — it’s way too competitive. A lot of games we won last year were very razor-thin margins; one or two plays make the difference in every game.”
Many factors can derail a team: injuries, the loss of key players to free agency, off-field turmoil and plain bad luck.

Although the likelihood of repeating is low, the Bucs have a few things in their favor.
Tampa Bay plays in a weak NFC South division where it will face the Atlanta Falcons and Carolina Panthers (9-23 combined last season) and the New Orleans Saints, who are without quarterback Drew Brees after he retired in March. 

The Bucs are returning all 22 starters, the first defending Super Bowl champion in the salary cap era to do so, according to the team.

And of course, Brady is back at the helm.

Jay Kornegay, executive vice president at SuperBook Sports operations, said the early money was on the Bucs to repeat, with the odds at 9-2. But he cautioned that those odds would change once the season was underway.  

“The division is weak, and there is uncertainty throughout the NFC from the Saints without Brees, to the off-season issues with Aaron Rodgers wanting out of Green Bay. Of the top four contenders in the NFC, in our view, the Bucs have the fewest question marks surrounding them,” Kornegay said.

“What we can’t measure yet is their motivation and desire. That’s the biggest obstacle to repeating. They were really hungry last season. But winning brings a certain satisfaction. Will they be able to get the same level of intensity this year? I’m not saying they can’t, but it’s the biggest obstacle to repeating in sports.”

Injuries are a close second, experts say. Sportsbooks keep a close eye on injury reports because of the impact they can have on scoring. It can move the line, and the fates of promising teams, quite significantly.

“Brady’s arm isn’t what it used to be, but it was enough last year to complement the Bucs’ running game and their defense,” Kornegay said. “If you get injuries, though, or the defense is subpar, they’ll end up in more shootouts, allowing more points and putting more pressure on Brady to throw for more yards. If the running game suffers injuries or declines, the defense doesn’t get the rest it needs. The play or health of one unit, affects the performance of another. And remember, these guys are already going to have targets on their back because everyone wants to knock off the champ.”

There are a number of ways returning Super Bowl winners can go from champs to chumps. Consider the three previous Super Bowl winners and how injuries, a shocking performance and a few ill-advised turnovers blew their chances to repeat. 

The Philadelphia Eagles beat Brady and the New England Patriots, 41-33, in the 2018 Super Bowl. Starting quarterback Carson Wentz tore knee ligaments on Dec. 10, 2017, and backup Nick Foles became an unlikely hero, leading the Eagles to the championship.

Wentz returned to the lineup the following season, but suffered a stress fracture in his back in mid-December that sent him to the bench. Foles reclaimed the starting job, but was unable to summon the old magic. Philadelphia was eliminated from the playoffs in a 20-14 divisional round loss to the New Orleans Saints.   

The Patriots returned to the Super Bowl in 2019, beating the Los Angeles Rams 13-3 in the lowest scoring Super Bowl ever.

New England went 12-4 in the 2019 regular season and won its 11th consecutive AFC East title. But the Patriots’ top-ranked defense buckled in the wild card round, allowing Titans running back Derrick Henry to rush for 182 yards and a touchdown in the Titans’ 20-13 victory.
In the 2020 Super Bowl, the Patrick Mahomes-led Kansas City Chiefs scored   21 points in the final 6:13 to beat the San Francisco 49ers, 31-20.

The Chiefs returned to the Super Bowl last season, but what was billed as a shootout between the Chiefs’ youthful quarterback and the more experienced Brady was largely decided by the Buccaneers’ determined defense. Mahomes, 25, passed for 270 yards, no touchdowns and two interceptions. Brady passed for 201 yards and three touchdowns, but made no turnovers in a 31-9 win that earned Brady his fifth Super Bowl MVP award.

Johnny Avello, director of race and sportsbook operations at DraftKings, had the Kansas City Chiefs favored at 5-1 this summer and agreed with Kornegay that motivation and complacency are the biggest factors in a team’s ability to repeat. But, he cautioned, never underestimate Lady Luck. 

“In last year’s NFC Championship game, Brady threw three picks in about 10 minutes and they were lucky to hold on for the win. Sometimes, it is just about things going your way,” Avello said. “I thought they were fortunate to even get to the Super Bowl last year. I’m not expecting them to get there again.”

Only a few professional franchises have ever been dominant enough in their sport to be a surefire bet at winning consecutive championships. Avello pointed to teams like the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers in the National Basketball Association and New York Yankees in Major League Baseball, where players at every position were among the best in the league.

“I don’t see any of the teams today having that type of presence on the field,” Avello said. “I think there is more parity now than there’s ever been. And that makes it much harder to win championships back-to-back.”

Brady knows it will be difficult, but he thinks the Bucs are just reaching their peak.
“[Coach Bruce Arians has] done a great job of keeping us focused, keeping the intensity there,” Brady said. “I feel like we’re not finished projects. It was really our first opportunity to play together last year, and there’s a lot of opportunity for us to grow into something that could be very different.”

Perhaps. But I’m not sure I’d put money on it.

We should note that this article came in to our editors early in the NFL season. As of this writing, Tom Brady just advanced to the second round of the NFL Playoffs, with his Buccaneers having summarily destroyed the once vaunted Eagles by a score of 31-15. And it was not nearly that close. …

We’re not saying Tom Brady has a portait of himself hidden away in an attice somewhere, but he might. Should you insist on betting against him, you’ll be much better off wagering with a significant other in one of those, “If we win, you kiss me. If you win, I’ll kiss you,” sorts of bets.

Swinging Island

Posted on by Team Penthouse

The Comic Strip that Strips

Andrew Tarusov is a Russian-born artist and animator renowned for his bright and bold erotic pinup illustrations and animation. With the help of his Patreon following, Tarusov undertook the ambitious mission of creating Swinging Island, his debut erotic graphic novel about open relationships and the swinging lifestyle, which was inspired by his own fantasies and adventures.

What triggered the creation of Swinging Island?

It started when I lived in Los Angeles, and I realized I had to retain patrons on my Patreon page somehow. That’s how I came up with the idea of comics. First, I thought maybe I should do a soft erotic graphic novel. But then I decided to go full frontal, and I liked it more. You can’t post porn on Patreon if it’s real people, but you can draw it!

Has growing up in Russia had any effect on your art?

The middle of Russia is very gray and sad, so I would say it’s had the opposite effect! I’ve always tried to draw more colorful and happier pictures and stories than you see in real life.

Is Swinging Island your first foray into creating comics?

Yes. I had never created a comic before but have always loved them. I studied filmmaking and animation, and it helped because comics are basically a storyboard. But it’s a huge work, and I had to invite a lot of people to help me finish it, including an English-speaking editor, colorer, book editor and a print house. A lot of people helped me finish it.

Are you trained in art?

Oh yes, I spent a lot of time studying. First, I finished art school, graduated from an arts college where I studied oil painting, and then I spent six years in the Film University in Moscow studying computer graphics and animation.

Where did your inspiration for Swinging Island come from?

Basically, the main character is me—a shy and not very confident young man. All of the other characters are bolder and braver. The story takes place on a nudist beach, and I’m a huge fan of naked swimming. So, I just put my fantasies in the book. What would it be like to go to the beach with my girlfriend and to meet another more open-minded couple there? It was important to me to make a realistic story where people have failures and misunderstandings. It’s not like usual porn as I don’t draw sex scenes only to show sex. Also, I take a lot of character features from my real-life experiences.

What was your process for putting together Swinging Island?

I just drew it page by page, from start to finish. Sometimes I had to pause it because I didn’t know what I should do next. I even re-drew some pages from the beginning because I decided to start it differently. But now I don’t make mistakes like that. I plan everything, and I have a very exact outline in my mind and on the paper.

What equipment do you use for your illustrations?

I use an iPad and Procreate 90 percent of the time. Sometimes I finish my drawings in Photoshop, and I use After Effects for animation. I also love traditional art, and I paint watercolors and oil for myself when I have a chance.

What draws you to creating erotic comics?

I always loved eroticism in all aspects. Movies, photos and drawings. I just can’t resist it. When I started to draw erotic comics and paintings, I felt happiness. I felt that this is it, and I decided to stay on that path.

Have you ever had a muse?

I always have a muse. I love women, and they love me.

How has Swinging Island been received by its readers?

People love it so much! I didn’t expect that, but it looks like people love it more than everything else I do. I have more than 650 permanent readers [on Patreon], and when people join, they stay! I feel like it’s my mission to make cool sex-positive comics.

Swinging Island Book Cover

Do you have plans for a Swinging Island sequel?

Definitely. I’m doing a sequel on my Patreon, and it’s not even close to the middle. It will be bigger, hotter and longer. Also, the second part takes place in the clothes-optional hotel. I’ve been to such places, and it’s always great fun.

Website: tarusov.com … Patreon: tarusov … Unrelated, yet still a quite nice beverage: yummly.

Porn Pondering

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Don’t Cancel Porn

According to organizers of the politically conservative gathering, even a clothed porn star’s presence is inappropriate, and do-gooders are bringing up the overplayed refrain: “Think of the children.” Some zealots are even using that old argument to advocate for a ban on free porn websites. But these attacks on porn have very little to do with protecting minors and everything to do with enforcing a particular “moral” ethic on adults. [Insert shocked face here. – Ed.]

It’s already illegal in many municipalities for anyone under the age of 18 to possess porn. It’s primarily up to parents to protect their children from viewing pornography, and that’s as it should be.

But a ban on porn — that’s free or purchased — would allow people with one worldview to impose that view on other adults.

As much as I personally would love to ban purity balls, abstinence teaching and virginity vows because of the sexual and psychological damage they can cause children — girls, in particular — I’d never advocate for legislation to that effect. Parenting simply isn’t the role of the government. Except in cases of abuse, the government must step aside and let parents parent.

Luckily, keeping kids from getting a hold of porn is easier than you might think. Installing the appropriate firewalls is a great place to start. But if you’re still worried, you could always simply deny your child a device that connects to the internet. The point is, we can do this on our own. As someone who was on the receiving end of such parental oversight, I should know. During my teen years, my parents put a firewall so secure on my laptop that I was blocked from looking up former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney for a school project.

Should the government bring back Prohibition just because 16-year-olds sometimes sneak into bars or steal their parents’ alcohol? God forbid. Besides, Prohibition didn’t work. So how would banning porn be any different?

Porn is older than the human species. Our Paleolithic ancestors scrawled pictures of boobs, vulvas and penises on cave walls, and dildos are among our pre-human ancestors’ first inventions. Just as adults prefer to enjoy cocktails free of quinine and other toxic chemicals, adults want safe, consensual porn. Banning porn wouldn’t make it go away. It would still be just as widely available as it is now. But actors would no longer have legal protections.

Don’t our authorities have anything better to do than waste time and resources going after safe, consensual porn? How about focusing on addressing human rights violations and real abuse? Adults are perfectly capable of enjoying porn responsibly. Couples watch porn together to spice up their sex lives. Lonely people watch porn to satisfy their basic human need for sexual pleasure.

Governments ban activities and commodities where the detriments to the functioning of a healthy society outweigh the benefits. Porn is a multi-billion-dollar industry with revenue estimates ranging between $6 billion on the low end to more than $97 billion on the high end. That’s millions of jobs — and even more satisfied customers. Porn doesn’t just make money for itself. It supports cellular companies, hotels and internet providers. Porn makes up 30 percent of all internet usage. Additionally, it’s a driver of innovation with virtual reality porn expected to reach $1 billion in sales by 2025.

There are two other arguments against porn: It leads to an oversexed population, and it leaves people less interested in sex. Which is it? In the end, the arguments against consensual porn for adults remain far-fetched and moralistic.

Yes, people can abuse and misuse porn. But as it stands, porn provides entertainment and gratification for millions of adults every day. Canceling this industry would be tantamount to cock-blocking entire nations.

Emilie Dye is the Australian Lead for Young Voices. Find her on Twitter @Emilie_Dye or on her website emiliedye.com. … For the record, our advice would be NOT to search “porn” using your favorite search engine, should you wish to peruse some more scientific — although still objectively editorial — views on the topic. The cynical among us might feel like people use that word simply to get traffic to their sites to sell more ad space. Of course we do not know any cynical people here. Nope. We’re all just happy optimists that do not understand why people always seem unhappy these days. That’s us in a nutshell. (Emphasis on “nut” by the way.)

Kevin Lee

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Kevin ‘The Mowtown Phenom’ Lee

UFC’s Kevin Lee is a beast! So, what makes this beast tick?

Kevin Lee is an Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC) fan favorite. Born in Michigan in 1992, he was raised in Detroit and has a sister and two younger brothers. He made his professional debut against Al Iaquinta in 2014 at UFC 169. He lost and moved to Las Vegas to focus on his game. He got his first win when he defeated Jesse Ronson on July 6, 2014. The rest follows in this interview!

Welcome Kevin Lee. Thank you for being ready to speak to us today.

Man, I’m always ready!

Let’s start by talking about your training. How do you stay in such good shape?

I’m coming off two knee surgeries. I honestly think it’s mostly just genetics. My little brother doesn’t train at all, and he’s in better shape than me.

So you’ve had knee reconstructions?

Yep! The first one hurt like a motherfucker. It took some time to get back to the grind, but I was back in the gym pretty quickly, just grinding a different grind.

Do you think you heal faster the fitter you are?

I’ve been fighting since I was 16. I haven’t had anything this major before, but being in good physical shape preps you for this. When I first got injured in high school, I started this path of injuries. It’s like a muscle; you’ve got to build it. I started fighting at 18 and went pro at 19. I had over 200 wrestling matches, about 150 in high school and 200 in college. I compete a lot!

So you felt like a veteran before you even came to the UFC?

No, I still feel like I’m just getting started! I’ve fought some of the best guys in the world. I’ve had to learn through years of fighting. In MMA [mixed martial arts] we come up the ranks a lot faster. Now, in UFC I’m just starting to hit that vet status. I feel like I’m in the right spot at the right time.

You hurt your left knee, and then the right?

I was rehabbing the left, and then I was just dancing in my living room. I was feeling good, I was over compensating, and it popped.

That means you’re “no contact” in the gym now, just upper body?

For a while, yeah.

So, 2020 wasn’t a good year for you?

It wasn’t a good year for anyone, was it? It was a dumpster fire. I feel like I learned a lot about myself. Even being injured, I couldn’t get up and do what I’m used to doing. You’ve got to take the negative and make a positive, all that good shit.

You were born and raised in Detroit. Tell us about young Kevin Lee.

Yeah, Rock City. It’s a pretty tough city. I had to learn how to navigate the world. I’d already seen life at its worst. I’m fighting some of the toughest dudes in the world, and when I’m coming up against a crazy name, I get a little anxious, but I don’t let that stop me.

Let’s talk about some of the beasts you’ve fought.

Yeah, and I still feel pumped! At the end of 2019, which I would say was my best year, I got to beat Gregor Gillespie. And not only that, I got to beat him in front of Donald Trump!

ESPN called me and said Gillespie is still unconscious…

I heard his jaw was broken; he still hasn’t fought since then. That fight was one of my top three knockouts. When you stiffened them like that, it’s more gratifying than a knockout. I ain’t gonna lie! It’s totally different when you’re on a big stage like that. I’d hurt my ankle two weeks before that fight. My baby brother, who’s in jail right now, was getting ready to fight his case. It was one of those situations where there’s a real lesson.

He was saying to me, “I’m tired. I don’t want to fight this anymore.”

I was trying to tell him to keep fighting. But I was talking to him from the locker room, where I’d just been talking to the coach, saying, “I don’t think I can fight anymore.”

And right then and there, I was like I’m going to knock [Gillespie] out with this foot. I looked down, and my foot was all swollen. But I was like, “I’m going to take him down.” I thought, How can I tell [my little brother] to keep fighting, and then not fight myself?

Did that give you the edge in that fight, hearing that from family?

Sure. You always need a reason to fight; family is that reason. My brother is an extension of me. Straight away I started doing rehab, then two days before the fight I was managing to walk again.

How do you deal with your brother being imprisoned? Does he get to see your fights?

Yeah, he gets to see my fights in jail. It’s hard. As I said, I feel like he’s an extension of me. We’ve got the same DNA. I feel like it could have been me in there. Even going through COVID-19, not being able to get out and move too much because of my injuries, I was like, “Let me get back up. Stop complaining, and get on with it.” It’s a wake-up call, you know.

Do personal tribulations make you stronger?

I like speaking some real shit. People want to hear it.

Your late coach Robert Follis was a huge part of your life. How much did he influence your career?

It was huge. I was coming over from Detroit. I kind of felt I was in the middle ground; I was too black for the white people, too white for the black people. I didn’t really fit in anywhere. When I made the decision to move [to Las Vegas], I met Follis, and he talked to me in a way that I really felt like he got me.

Brother, father, friend — how would you classify that relationship?

He was a father figure. He was someone I wanted to impress. I’ve had a few coaches like that, even my high school wrestling coach. He made sure I was on the right path.

Follis had helped many great sportsmen. He then died by suicide. How did you cope with that?

He committed suicide shortly after I lost a fight. I kept asking myself, “If I’d have won that fight, would it have been different?”

But then I checked myself; there’s much more going on in the world than me. There was a lot more going on in his head. In a roundabout way, I felt he did it for a reason. He knew it was time for me to find a different coach. He felt it was time to move on.

Are there any stories you can tell about Robert?

Honestly, I’d rather keep them. Yeah, I’d rather keep them.

Cheers to that. Now, let’s talk about the rising profile of UFC.

Money is coming to the UFC. Conor McGregor has the profile of the sport; he’s raised it for all of us.

Tell us how it feels to be on a Conor McGregor card?

In UFC 178, he was the third on the card. Eddie Alvarez was put there. It was my first peek into that world. I was like, “These Irish dudes are fucking crazy!” I was kind of enjoying it. They were seriously into the sport; they were there for a good fight. Then it was a bit overwhelming; you’ve got to be a different kind of beast to go up against all of that.

You mean, all those Irish fans booing you?

I was there opening up for the main card. The energy was like, “Get outta here. We’re here for Conor!”

The main thing was the energy. It was something I had to get used to. That experience, you can’t teach that, facing thousands of people cheering for someone else. After the fight, I sat in the crowd. I was looking around, seeing how everyone was reacting.

I was like, “I’m a young kid from Detroit. Black people don’t support each other in the way Irish people support each other.” Most other cultures do, to be honest. I think in America, we just love winners!

You’re into politics a bit. We saw you at a Bernie Sanders rally.

It wasn’t into politics — until I was. I’m a hunter. Everyday I wake up, and I work out who am I looking for. Right now, it could be the UFC guys, but I still look at the bigger picture. There came a time when I thought, Who better to hunt than the fucking president? I enjoy it when people get upset.

What was it like being up there?

It was different! The same butterflies, but when you get up there on stage, you’re just in the moment. And then every other normal moment is so fucking boring, compared to those fucking moments!

How does it compare to fighting?

When you’re talking, you’ve really got to stay in the moment. You’ve got to keep people engaged. It’s a completely different beast.

Speaking of Motown, you’re from Detroit, but you’re living in Las Vegas.

Yeah, I am. COVID changed everything, though. I did my first training camp in Canada. It’s cold, but the women are amazing up there.

Are you single?

Yes, I am. I’m busy doing my thing. For the most part, I’m not looking to get married yet. I’m 28; I’ve got money to make, man!

Have you done any acting?

No. It seems hard! If I do it, I’ll just be me. The real me. I’ll get some Hennessy or Courvoisier. I like Belaire and coffee in the morning, then wine and tea at night. I like red wine. I’m getting into the dry red wine right now.

Before you do a photo shoot, drink a couple of glasses of red the night before and you’ll be really shredded.

Is that right? I’m going to need to try that. I’ll keep that in mind!

You mentioned you can accept your losses. You’ve established it’s a learning process, but who would you like to have beaten?

Tony Ferguson. That’s the one I’d like to have won. I wasn’t ready for that fight. I even knew prior I wasn’t ready. I knew when they offered it. When I fought in June 2017 that was the first time I’d made national attention. I knew it was going to happen, but they were coming to Detroit for the first time. I knew Tony from way back when. He used to wrestle at the same college as me, and then they hit me with the October date. They offered me the money. I was like, “I’m going to do it.” You know, I’ve got to sleep with myself. I’m not going to be a bitch. But you go back and watch it, I was sweating getting off the bus to go, but just walking out I was on a 20, trying to pump myself up to get there. I lost it; I really thought I was going to die in there. Just from sheer exhaustion.

You go through the trials and tribulations of being in this warrior industry, but you’re still human.

Yeah, we play up to that, play up to the super human thing. But we are just human beings, of course. Seriously, it’s a crazy person who wants to keep getting up and keep on putting themselves through it.

What do you like to do outside the sport?

I’m an artist. I like to create things. That’s what gives me my peace. I do some random shit. I love music; I play a bit. My favorite artist would be Lil Wayne.

What’s the story with you and Dillon Danis?

OK, I’ll tell you how I first met him. I used to train a lot at Drysdale in Vegas. They said this really good Jiu-Jitsu guy, Dillon, is coming through. You know, I’m a competitor at the end of the day. We trained a little bit together. I can tell when someone else is playing the game. There’s a game to promotion, the hype around fights. There’s a game to it. I could tell he was playing, so I thought, I’m going to play the game, too! I was like, “Let’s play. Let’s have some fun!”

I thought, Come on, he can’t fight. So I said it had to be our own money. When I had a sponsor hit me up, I said no, it’s got to be my money and your money. I want to take his money off him. There was a thing Eddie Bravo started where in Jiu-Jitsu, you’re allowed to slap. I was like, “Let’s do that.” I’ve never done Jiu-Jitsu, so I thought, Let’s meet in the middle. But you know, I’m still down. I’ll still do it, but there’s got to be slaps involved. That’s got to be on the table. No punches. But slaps? Hell yeah!

Do you think we could do general public contender tryouts? Give them headgear and shin guards and get them fighting for a contract?

OK, I’m with you, but only for the security guards. You know, those guys have to learn how to fight. It doesn’t make sense that they can’t. We’re not going to make the lady at the front desk fight for her job.

What happens when announcer Bruce Buffer leaves?

Well, you can’t make those guys fight. Bruce’s a great guy.

Does Vegas feels like home for Kevin Lee now?

I’ve been here for five years. I feel like a local now. The feeling’s a bit different, though; I’m starting to notice the changes happening around the place.

Do you ever look in the mirror and think, I’ve done good?

I never envisioned this. I knew I was going to be successful somehow. I knew eventually I would get there. I’m fucking happy to be where I am. I’m 28. I’m living this beautiful life. I feel like I’m living in a movie sometimes. Everything I do is so I can one day tell my kids these stories. I’ve got a lot of options in front of me. I’m just focusing on getting myself healthy, and then I know I can beat anyone, anyone in the world.

Is there anything inspirational you can say to anyone who’s not doing too well right now?

Just keep going. I feel like everything is all connected, so as long as you love what you’re doing, just keep doing that shit. Even if you think you suck at it, keep doing it, keep critiquing it, and eventually one day you’ll look up and look back and you’ll say, “Look how far I’ve come!” With me, I think, You used to be some kid from Detroit, and look at you now. Just keep going.

This Kevin Lee interview was published with permission from the What Happens Here podcast. Should you have missed our brief bit on Connor McGregor earlier, we can help you along.

Goodbye 2021

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Penthouse Says Goodbye 2021 — Hello 2022!

Whether you thought 2021 or 2020 qualifies as the … Worst. Year. Ever. … could well depend on which old man got your vote for President last November. We’re not much on controversial politics around here, although we can offer a couple quick overall impressions:

  1. Both years deeply and truly sucked.
  2. If someone honestly believes something — no matter how completely bizarre or overwhelmingly controverted by facts — you will be wasting your time trying to get them to change their — completely stupid, bordering on pure insanity — opinions.

Now wiser or more benevolent people than ourselves saying, “Goodbye 2021” would have spent hours and hours, possibly weeks, coming up with some perfectly pithy commentary that would make you feel good about yourselves, good about your future, and maybe even good about your fellow humans for at least a second. We all know these people, the kind always looking at the bright side, trying to do the right thing, doing unto others as they would have done unto them — those people. Yeah, we know them too. We admire them, y’know, without actually aspiring to be them. We still consider them quite dandy, however.

Sadly, we are not those people.

We are people that make you entertaining — albeit granted potentially a tad baffling — New Year’s Eve promotions … without offering even the slightest hint as to what our intentions might have been or what we maybe thought this symbolized.

Nope. We bring you video and allow you the unfettered freedom to make of it what you will. (Fettered freedom also sucks, for the record.)

See? We do not bother with biased media coverage. We do not batter you with controversial opinions delivered as fact. No-no. We do not.

Instead we let our ever-so-worthy viewers bring their own intellect to “bare” [sic — we know] on the problem. Around here we think this means that everyone should spend more time volunteering in their local communities, but it could mean something completely different to you. That would be beauty of it, you see. Speaking of beauty, in case you did not recognize all those (again, sadly) uncredited women on video, we put together a quick gallery for you that might help (because it has captions with their names listed). We even managed to find some Penthouse movie shots that hopefully provide a slightly different view than the traditional magazine layout presentation.

Vanna Bardot
Gabbie Carter
Maya Farrell
Vanna Bardot
Gabbie Carter
Maya Farrell
Izzy Lush

Of course to be really trendy we should have come up with our own “list” of something that would tempt all the Google Bots to “list” us as relevant, and important, and overall the modern equivalent of the bee’s knees. (Ask an old person about that one.) Narrowing it down became too much of a conflict amongst our Team here at Penthouse, though, so we settled instead on rather a List of Lists. Consequently, if you have a particular way you wish to say Goodbye 2021 in your favorite manner, you may do so.

Goodbye 2021 — The 12 Days of Free Lists

  1. “The Year in Pictures” – from CNN
  2. “The Inequality Pandemic” – from The World Bank
  3. “Best Movies” – from The New Yorker
  4. Best Social Media Campaigns (Fashion) – from Digital Agency Network
  5. “Best YouTube Ads” – from HubSpot
  6. “Most Popular Books” – from Goodreads
  7. “Hottest Careers” – from Forbes
  8. “Top Sports Stories” – from Listwire
  9. “21 Masks that Capture the Politics” – from Politico
  10. “Official Cancelations” – from The Daily Show
  11. “Those We Lost” – from Los Angeles Times
  12. “Fast Facts” – from CNN
  13. “The Best TikToks” – from The Cut

Before we start getting comments, we are in fact aware that we have 13 items on our list of 12 lists. This comes from the fact that at least a couple of the influential elders here seemed to be of the opinion that there is no such thing as a “Best TikTok” anything. Those elders do not write blog posts, however. So … SHHHH!

By the way, we already have our own favorite women from 2021, as one would expect of Penthouse. In fact we have them listed in a handy fashion so that you may help us VOTE for the 2022 Pet of the Year. True, you end up with 11 sad women and one really happy woman, but that tends to be the nature of lists. Somebody has to be #1, and therefore no one else can be.

Vote for Pet of the Year Banner

Bottom line: Try to make at least one person happy with everything you do. (And, no, you cannot count yourself.) As a Goodbye 2021 moral, that might be the best one can do. Much like our views here, 2021 had a little sadness, but it also had moments of rare brightness. If we concentrate on the latter, we can always manage the former. As my dad always told me, “If it were easy, anybody could do it.”

Of course my dad also told me to always throw the first punch because that might be the only one you get in; so there’s that.

Carrie Fisher

Posted on by Team Penthouse

A Life In The Stars

Though best known as Princess Leia in the Star Wars saga, Carrie Fisher’s influence on the world extended far beyond this ubiquitous role. In honor of the memory of this incredible actress, comedian, activist, and all-around no-nonsense powerhouse, Penthouse looks back at some of the greatest achievements of a lifetime being Carrie Fisher.

Carrie’s Roots in Hollywood Royalty

Born October 21st, 1956, Fisher was destined for greatness. Before ever being dubbed a “Princess” by George Lucas, her first great claim to fame came the old-fashioned way: She was born into it. Carrie was the daughter of one of Hollywood’s most beloved “power couples” in an era when women were not so much expected to take a back seat, but were more or less simply ignored. Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher, mom and dad for Carrie, were not about to let that happen with her, though — traditions of the entertainment industry be damned.

Growing up in the shadow of two legendary icons would have been tough enough, but before it even had a chance to impact the toddler, Eddie left Carrie’s mother Debbie for their mutual friend Elizabeth Taylor — “the most beautiful woman in the world” — in 1959, when Carrie was only three years old. Scandal ensued. … Imagine. Both of Carrie’s parents were married multiple times during their lifetimes, clearly impacting the mind and budding esteem of a young woman maturing under the Hollywood spotlight. In jest Carrie once shared a large flowchart of her family tree — and all its branches — in her HBO comedy special, Wishful Drinking. She would come to regard her bizarre Hollywood life with a sense of humor and grace, stating in her own immortal words, “If my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.”

The Carrie Fisher Talent Pool

Making her stage debut in 1973 at the age of sixteen, Carrie’s first role was playing a debutante and singer in the hit Broadway revival Irene, which starred her mother, Debbie. Carrie would sometimes sing in Debbie’s shows, including the songs “You Made Me Love You”, “Happy Days Are Here Again”, and “Bridge Over Troubled Water” — this latter being particularly notable as it was written by Paul Simon, to whom Fisher was married for a brief time in a relationship which spanned more than a decade. In 1975, she made her film debut in Hal Ashby’s Shampoo, acting alongside Warren Beatty, Goldie Hawn, and Julie Christie. In 1977, she got her big break starring in the science fiction classic Star Wars, through which she created the role of Princess Leia. In her autobiography, The Princess Diarist, Carrie states, “I had never been Princess Leia before, and now I would be her forever. I would never not be Princess Leia. I had no idea how profoundly true that was and how long forever was.”

Reaching beyond the confines of stage and screen, however, Carrie Fisher was also an incredibly talented writer. Albeit behind the scenes, she was one of the most well-known script “doctors” in Hollywood and punched up scripts for a multitude of famous films including The Wedding Singer, Hook, and Sister Act to name a few. Many lines that she wrote are still quoted fondly and frequently to this day. She even wrote some of her lines in her final Star Wars film appearance, The Last Jedi. In her scene with Laura Dern as Vice Admiral Holdo, both the Admiral and Leia (now General Leia) begin to say the famous line, “May the Force be with you.” Carrie’s “meta” joke that she added to the script has General Leia saying, “You go, I’ve said it enough.”

In addition to script-doctoring and her various autobiographies, Carrie Fisher was also a talented novelist and wrote several original works including Postcards from the Edge, Surrender the Pink, Delusions of Grandma and The Best Awful There Is. Though fictional, these novels were all in some part loosely based on Carrie’s own life experiences. Postcards from the Edge detailed her time in rehab following an overdose, eventually even spawning a motion picture starring Meryl Streep (1990). Carrie’s wit and wonderful way with words show yet another side of her that reaches beyond a mere image on the big screen. For those of us that celebrate her thoughts as well as her various professional personas over the years, Carrie’s words contain more immortality than her image.

Carrie’s Unabashed Openness About Living With Mental Illness and Addiction.

Never one to shy away from difficult discussions, Carrie Fisher presented an open book when it came to her life with Bipolar Disorder and being in recovery from addiction. Her strength and courage in being outspoken about her mental health in her lifetime has even posthumously proven to be an inspiration to those who might otherwise feel that they are alone in their struggles. Postcards From The Edge — both the novel and feature film — serve as prime examples of Carrie’s thoughtful influence.

Further, in her autobiography Shockaholic, she discusses her experiences with electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), which she underwent to treat her depression. This frankness in shedding light on methods she herself had undergone in an effort to treat her mental illness plays a larger role in destigmatizing the conversations around mental health.

“I mean, clearly no one would vote for volts until everything else had failed. It’s reserved for those languishing in the suicidal ideation lounge, and I had never been truly suicidal. Not that I haven’t, on occasion, thought it might be an improvement over the all-too-painful present if I could be deadish for maybe just a teeny little bit of it. You know, like a really good sleep, after which I’d wake refreshed and equal to whatever the problem had been, that problem would have now vanished.”Carrie Fisher in “Shockaholic”

In her later years, Carrie was always accompanied by her faithful emotional support dog, Gary Fisher, whose perpetually outstretched tongue and fondness for sleeping (and snoring) during television interviews made him the perfect companion — and compliment. At convention appearances — which she referred to as “lap dances” — Gary was always by her side along with a heaping bag filled with glitter that she would happily toss in the air at fans who approached her. In fact, Gary often sparkled himself from all the glitter that was around. To this day, fans who visit her grave side in Forest Lawn leave offerings of Diet Coke and glitter in tribute to her eclectic behavior and sparkling personality.

The Carrie Fisher Legacy

Diverse people leave an equally diverse range of memories for people. Frequently pictured with her middle finger raised proudly in the air and a sly smirk, Carrie Fisher’s message to the world was — and remains — abundantly clear: Don’t fuck with me.

Fiercely protective of those close to her, Carrie frequently took in house guests to stay in her beautiful and quirky Los Angeles home, helping those who needed an ear, a shoulder, a writer, a therapist, and anything she could think of that she might need to be. Her larger-than-life persona keeps her alive in the hearts and minds of those who loved her and ensures that eternal status, which we can rarely imagine in this world of blazing speed social media.

Always incredibly close to her mother Debbie, Carrie went so far as to move in next door. When you have love, passion, and enough money, you can even bend the real estate market to your will. HBO ultimately sought to immortalize this mother/daughter relationship in a 2016 documentary Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. Sadly, both Carrie and Debbie passed away weeks before the film’s premier.

Carrie died on December 27th and Debbie died the day after on December 28th. Unsurprising to those that knew them well, rumors have even surfaced claiming Debbie had said, “I want to be with Carrie” shortly before suffering a fatal stroke. Interred together at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood Hills, both shining stars left their eternal marks with their own flair. Visitors to the cemetery will find Debbie Reynolds poshly entombed before noticing a portion of Carrie Fisher’s cremated remains inside of a novelty oversized Prozac capsule — per her explicit wishes. A beautiful stone statue of Mother and Daughter sits atop their grave site where fans come to pay their respects.

Though most people knew her predominantly from her iconic role as a “Princess in peril,” Carrie Fisher used talent, hard work, and pure fearlessness in showing the world she meant much more to it than an impish grin and a cinnamon bun hairdo — with or without the flamethrower from The Blues Brothers. Carrie Fisher endures.

Not to be overly irreverent here, but do you think people would have not gotten married so much if Tinder had come along sooner? Carrie could have given out “I was Princess Leia’d” buttons when she was done with someone. Somehow we think she would have liked that. … As one might imagine there are no shortages of Carrie Fisher fan pages on facebook, and her site still exists for the benefit of all her causes as they continue in her memory. Word is that she will finally be getting her Star this coming year, although what we wouldn’t give for a shot of her flipping that off just once, y’know? … You act for a few minutes at a time on a stage or a screen. But the great ones touch people’s lives forever.

Sex Scandal for One

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Political Sex Scandals

One might think Christmas an odd day to be talking about sex scandals, but if you think about it, Christmas tends to be a family holiday, and we could not have families at all without sex. Moreover, if everyone had the same boring sex with exactly the people expected (and accepted), then we would not have any sex scandals. Without scandals, people get bored and quit thinking about issues, which means we’d soon stop thinking about sex — which would result in not having families, a primary point of Christmas celebrations. Ergo, this all makes perfect sense.

So let us begin.

UNITED STATES: SMOKIN’ SEX TOYS

Not only did sitting president Bill Clinton have an affair with intern Monica Lewinsky inside the White House in 1998, she reportedly used his cigar as a sex toy. The story goes that she masturbated with a stogie while Clinton watched.

ITALY: BUNGA BUNGA PARTIES

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s lavish sex parties became so infamous they had their own nickname. He used the term “bunga bunga” to describe debauched parties where young women stripped and danced for him before he decided which one he wanted to have sex with.

AUSTRALIA: FILE IT ON THE DESK

A Coalition government staffer was sacked for allegedly masturbating over a female MP’s desk. Sources said the genius decided to have a wank over his boss’s desk, film it and send the images and videos via Facebook Messenger to a group of other staffers. 

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We decided to interrupt this fascinating education regarding horny people run amok, so that we might drop in a little celebratory motion provided to us by the production department at Penthouse. Apparently they ran out of time at the location, so they did not get any still photos to commemorate what was obviously a fetching situation, so we had to put this somewhere so as not make anyone sad.

We do like to show editors we appreciate them — another facet of this holiday season, by the way, although not really high on the sex scandals scale. (Full disclosure, the production department could be ripe full of sex scandals, and we would never know it, as COVID has us all spread all over everywhere.)

We did find it somewhat odd that they did not identify our 2021 December Pet of the Month, Amber Marie (with the dark hair) or Meaghan Stanfill (with the light hair) who was Pet of the Month in 2020 March — and happens to be the Pet of the Year Runner Up for 2021. Then we thought about how much time those people spend in darkened rooms staring at banks of monitors, so we decided to cut them some slack.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled sex scandal.

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NORTHERN IRELAND: THE GRADUATE

A 19-year-old had an affair with a woman 40 years older than him in 2008. She was named Mrs. Robinson, which may ring a bell. Iris Robinson was a member of parliament and wife of Northern Ireland’s government leader, Peter. Ohh, and she was also busy taking payments from local property developers.

ISRAEL: AVOIDING JAIL TIME (JUST)

One of the world’s most sordid political sex scandals involved former Israeli premier Moshe Katsav, who was forced to step down after a string of accusations. Several female employees came forward to accuse him of sexual harassment and rape—charges he denied. A plea bargain allowed him to escape jail time, but this is one of the worst scandals to be discovered anywhere in the world.

UNITED KINGDOM: WAR DANCE

The Profumo affair rocked British politics in the ’60s before becoming the inspo for the 1989 hit movie Scandal. Christine Keeler was 19, working as a hostess at a London nightclub and involved with several men, including a Russian believed to be KGB. Then she was introduced to John Profumo, the secretary of state for war, through an osteopath.

TURKEY: SEX VIDEO SCANDAL

Not one, not two, but six senior politicians in Turkey’s opposition Nationalist Action Party were forced to resign amidst a sex scandal shortly before national elections. Of course, once busted, they blamed the government for allowing recordings of their alleged extramarital flings.

UNITED STATES: DAD’LL BE BACK

The year was 2011. The Los Angeles Times revealed Arnold Schwarzenegger had fathered a child with his housekeeper, Mildred Patricia Baena. The former California governor now has a close relationship with his 23-year-old son Joseph.

MALDIVES: SEX TAPE & BLACKMAIL 

A senior member of President Mohamed Waheed’s party and former Chief of the Maldives National Broadcasting Corporation was arrested for allegedly blackmailing a senior judge of the Supreme Court with a sex tape.

We did get a few photos that the magazine used, but after showing off Meaghan and Amber, foreign ministers at press conferences denying sex scandals for which videotaped evidence exits just seemed rather dull. We liked Christine Keeler and Arnold with his kid, though, so we did use them. Hey, everyone should be allowed to pick their own sex scandal to follow.

We said we would be honest. We never said we would be sane. … Merry, Happy, Whatever, everyone.

Camster Christmas

Posted on by Team Penthouse

A Camster Christmas Holiday Special: Spank Me, Teacher!

These days it would probably be a good idea if you did not hook up with that teacher. After all, doing your teacher while still her student will only lead to a messy court case and possible criminal charges. We have a better idea, though, and as a Camster Christmas gift, we shall share it. So what if you could have sex with “that teacher” and actually get away with it? Let’s be honest here: A piss-poor reality never once got in the way or a ripping-hot fantasy. While the cold reality of sex with a teacher would be kind of terrible, that does not keep the idea from being kind of hot.

When you were in high school, was there that one teacher who looked ever-so-sexy in that tight blouse? When she stood by the white board, did you think about bending her over and spanking her with her ruler? Was that all you could think about?

Or, maybe when class was over, she asked you to stay after for a serious talk. When the rest of the class leaves, you ask her if there’s something wrong. She says, “Did you cheat on your last homework assignment?” (Cue the sexy music.)

You try to play dumb and say you could never do such an atrocious thing … because you’re an innocent little fucker, aren’t you?

But this teacher has a maturity built by experience, and she sees right through you … in more ways than you expect. But before we get to the naked part of the story, let’s stick with the moment when she tells you that she knows you’ve been copying your homework from other students. You’re caught. You know you did something bad. (At this point you’re still up in the air about whether the doing or the getting caught represents the bad thing, but it’s still irritating as hell.) You could fail this semester.

You can’t let that happen. You’re desperate to make this up. Besides, you want this teacher to like you. So you ask her if there’s a way you can get this problem solved if you promise to never cheat again. (So maybe you’ve seen a porn movie or two studying up for your Camster Christmas gift. We should applaud your devotion.)

There is one way to make it up to her. You’ll have to find another way to please her. You’ll have to make her feel satisfied in her most erotic places. (Yeah, we know: GASP!) … She guides your hand over to her blouse. … What’s happening here? Are you actually feeling up this hot teacher right in her classroom? So naughty!

Nothing beats feeling a new set of tits for the first time. What’s happening next?

Your teacher demands that you bend over her desk for your punishment. You oblige. She can have the lead for now. … You bend over, and she takes out her pointing stick for some spanking. You’ve been a bad lad and teacher needs to show you some respect. After some intense ass smacking, she demands that you show her your dick. Then you fuck right on the desk. (Foreplay, schmoreplay. Camster Christmas treats are about getting off, not some we love the world, sex is beautiful presentation.)

Maybe you do it on the desk of an annoying student both of you hate. She finishes you now as you demand, because you have taken back the lead, and violà: You just did your teacher and no one will ever know.

Have you figured out our real Camster Christmas idea to celebrate this season? While you’ve finally got some time off, and most people are busy pretending they like their families, fake a few symptoms — easy these days — and get yourself some Me with Thee time. Roleplay until your role won’t play anymore.

Cue the beautiful cam girls appearing on camster. Thousands of girls on Camster.com show up every day, simply to fulfill your naughty roleplay games. When you go into their chat rooms, they will happily play the teacher while you’re the horny student. Your girl will dress in that blouse, add the miniskirt and heels, and hold up that cheating paper in front of you. Then she’ll remove her top and demand that you fuck her over her desk. Or you can explain how you simply require some special tutoring. Any way you like it, any way you can imagine, it can be yours.

To help you out this Camster Christmas, we put together a list of a few women who have proven always up for a good role-playing party. Grab one and bring her along for your classroom bang. Fair warning: If you want to turn that F into an A, you’ll have to make her cum … twice … so pace yourself. (Apple for teacher completely unnecessary at this point.)

Camster Christmas Playlist:

Lola Buble

Lola Buble

“Friendly, sexy, the perfect mix of sweet and naughty, and an incredible body on this beautiful woman. Yuna is amazing.”

Yuna Rule

Yuna Rule

“Friendly, sexy, the perfect mix of sweet and naughty, and an incredible body on this beautiful woman. Yuna is amazing.”

Bella Aphrodite

Bella Aphrodite

“Fantastic young woman who has stolen my heart in every way imaginable! She is so cute and has a terrific body, but the thing I love about her most is how genuine she is- she truly cares about me and that makes me love her to the moon and back!!”

Autumn Woods

Autumn Woods

“This little beautiful woman is going to rock your world.”

Melisenta

Melisenta

“Meli is sexy, funny, sweet and naughty all rolled up into one. Once you start talking to her, you will never want to stop.”

Seriously. Come out out and have yourself a horny little Christmas. We can always keep those troubles out of sight.

Posthumous Prince

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Postmortem Payday

Take Prince’s “new” album Welcome 2 America, which initially had been scheduled for distribution during his lifetime in 2011 before being canceled. But it was finally released in July, five years after his passing. It’s the third Prince album since his accidental overdose in 2016, but the first he’d recorded with a release, even a tour, in mind. So, releasing it now must be ethically sound, right? Hmmm …

Prince presumably shelved the album for a reason, and let’s not forget he spent the better part of the ’90s with “SLAVE” scrawled across his cheek, disowning his name in protest against the money-over-creativity stance of his corporate overlords. 

Some albums do receive a tacit sign-off before the artist signs off. Queen’s Made in Heaven (1995), released after Freddie Mercury’s death, is the gold standard in deathly consent, given he knew while recording his vocals that the jig was up — not that he would have necessarily loved the schmaltzy pap the album would become.

Others are posthumous by technicality. Life After Death — the most aptly named record of all time — appeared barely two weeks after the Notorious B.I.G. was gunned down in 1997.
But many artists, we have to assume, would recoil from their amped-up afterlife. What might Amy Winehouse have made of Lioness: Hidden Treasures (2011), a cobbled together collection of covers and outtakes? Would famously shy Kurt Cobain have been mortified all over again when his pre-fame bedroom efforts became public property via 2015’s Montage of Heck: The Home Recordings?

So why release music by artists who are, biologically speaking, clearly past their prime? The answer, of course, rhymes with honey.

Though they’ve been around since the gramophone era, posthumous albums were historically unlikely to hit No. 1. From the mid-1950s to early-1990s, Jim Croce, Janis Joplin and John Lennon were the only three to achieve those heights — a trend, if only a trickle.

But the chart-topping success of Selena’s Dreaming of You burst the dam in 1995. The fact that she — like Lennon — had been fatally shot surfaced as a key ingredient in the secret sauce.
In the quarter of a century since, the majority of posthumous No. 1 albums have been by rappers and hip-hop artists, a shocking number of whom have been shot dead, frequently in drive-by killings — the alpha ghost being Tupac Shakur, who had finished only one of his seven posthumously released albums before his murder in 1996. Three of those reached No. 1, including the lamentable, Eminem-produced Loyal to the Game (2004), featuring duets with artists 2Pac had never met and his spectral voice being manipulated to meet the record’s needs. But maybe abusing an artist’s vision and consent is a small price to pay for a postmortem payday.

Incidentally, if not coincidentally, the last non-rapper to hit No. 1 in the afterlife was Prince with The Very Best of Prince (2001), which re-entered the charts at the top spot following his death. As he muses from beyond the grave on Welcome 2 America: “Come on in, sit right down and fill up your pockets, yeah.”

As one might imagine when searching all things death-related via Google, it can get scary out there. Oddly enough, we do not mean the content found at all, but rather the omnipresent popup ads and flashing moving pages that seem designed to actually interfere with your ability to read the article. (Wait. We just thought about that. … That probably defines EXACTLY their purpose. … Does anyone ever really buy anything from some place they found truly annoying upon introduction? Have you ever thought, “Oh, wow. That ad is really irritating. I should click on it so I can buy something,” before? … Yeah. Off topic. Sorry.) … We do like to provide at least an entertaining side-trip at the end of articles like these, though, so we did manage to track down some Postmortem Pinnacles we found interesting.

Pet of the Year 2021

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Pet of the Year 2021 — Kenzie Anne

You want to take a guess as to the first thing anyone getting new employment with Penthouse wants to do? We can give you a hint (or not) by telling you that it happens to be the worst job in the company. … Scratch that. It’s actually the second worst job in the company, but we’ll get to that.

We will tell that before their new company computer has booted up for the first time, everybody has the same question as a new employee: “How do we pick the Pets?”

Depending upon the moxie of the individual, the second question either follows quickly, or as soon as reasonably possible in a more discrete fashion in the break room. “How do I get on the Team that picks the Pets?”

Yep. Everybody wants to pick the Pets. … Sounds like a great job. … It is not. It is a horrible, horrible job.

You have to think about it from a broader (pun not intended, but still funny, if you’re old) perspective. It will come as no surprise that many, many women around the world would love to be Pets. Because you have to be a Pet before you can become Pet of the Year 2021, for example. But even the most rudimentary of educations would lead you to quickly realize that there can at most be 12 Pets in any calendar year. Obviously this means that while making one woman very happy, you will necessarily be disappointing an abundantly larger group of women — every month. Month after month. For an entire year. Eventually, though, we do end up with a truly emotional and grateful individual, such as Kenzie Anne here.

To get to the level of Pet of the Year 2021 Kenzie Anne, however, you have to crush dreams on a much more personal level. There were only 11 other women even in the running for that title, and each of them really wants to win (regardless of what they might say afterwards). Look at this honestly: It takes an enormous amount of self-confidence simply to pose naked for a camera, and confident people like to win. Always. At everything.

How great would you feel about yourself if every time you showed up for work, the first thing you had to do was take your clothes off? … Most of us derive our confidence from very different sources.

To most of us, that whole nude-for-a-living thing sounds truly icky.

A specific time I felt most sexy was probably on set today when I was handed my new key.

Kenzie Anne, Penthouse Pet of the Year 2021

When you boil it all down, there are basically two ways one can approach picking the winners for Penthouse Pet. You can simply own the company and thus get to do whatever you want from thousands of miles away. That would be one option. Or you can, as owner, delegate a Team Leader for the project who will then enlist the assistance of a group of people in theory knowledgable regarding current goals for Brand Identity (capitalized, don’t you know) and have some awareness when it comes to the history of the past winners. That second option has been the approach here for the last few years, actually, but when you use that system you end up with people who have actually talked to and gotten to know more than a few of the various contestants. … But you still only get to pick one winner each month.

So now you find yourself answering phone calls from a bunch of sad women who “thought they were your friend” when they learn someone else got picked. … It’s not exactly working nude all the time, but it still ain’t very comfortable.

This therefore leads us to the actual worst job at Penthouse. If picking Pets qualifies as a horrible job, picking Pet of the Year falls underneath the joys of root canal and waiting in line at the DMV in Los Angeles. You can never even be sure that you made the right choice until you finish the entire process, and by then of course it’s too late. You get what you got.

Last year, when I submitted my images for Pet of the Month, I didn’t feel like — in comparison to everybody else… — that I was gonna be somebody who stood out.

More Kenzie Anne

Well, our photographers took the Pet of the Year 2021 sets selectively represented here (following our “must be clothed” rules on penthouse.com). … To us it looks like Kenzie stands out, and we can say that she also checks a lot of the other boxes they look for in a Pet of the Year as well. Everybody has different tastes, or the world would be a truly boring place — and the population would have died out centuries ago — and while “how she looks” obviously plays a part in the ultimate decision, it only plays a part.

ALL of the women chosen as Pets over the past year would presumably pass the “attractive” threshold easily. Those other less sexy things really come into play, though. (We would advise against social media rants about pretty much anything, but definitely other performers, for example.) Should Pet be a goal of yours, bear in mind (pun on “bare” definitely intended) that the world has changed. Women that make it into the magazine do not necessarily need to know one of the photographers personally, or be best buddies with an editor, or even a former Pet. Some of you spend a lot of time on “Your Brand” (more capital letters). You might think about how our Brands might work together.

Penthouse Pet of the Year 2021 - Kenzie Anne
POY 2021 - Kenzie Anne
2021 Pet of the Year, Kenzie Anne
Kenzie Anne, 2021 Pet of the Year
Pet of the Year 2021
Pet of the Year 2021
Kenzie Anne, POY 2021

Hopefully you have learned two things today in our Pet of the Year 2021 reveal (well, on the free Penthouse site).

  1. Of course all the women want to win, because nobody shares that kind of intimacy on camera without wanting people to notice, and
  2. You actually never, ever want the job of picking the Pets.

You might also have learned that Kenzie will make a very fine Brand Ambassador … y’know if travel becomes easier and all the idiots stop fighting with all the other idiots. …

We close wishing you a Happy/Merry Whatever seems appropriate for a religious or secular celebration in your private, personal, protected by the Constitution, life — regardless of your gender identification. … (You think we avoided offending anybody? … Probably not. That seems impossible these days.) … As regards the dreamers out there specifically, this new site launch has included a special page where you can begin your journey completely on your own.

Zanzibar at War

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Anglo-Zanzibar War of 1896

It all kicked off on August 27, 1896 at 9:00 a.m. … 40 minutes later it was over. As wars go, this was a quickie.

Every war, of course, has its own unique character — but one thing most wars have in common is that they tend to drag on a bit. Relatively speaking, wars are usually pretty long. Even the first Gulf War, which was over pretty snappily, lasted six months, which is quite a stretch to be in the desert in heavy fatigues. The Six-Day War of 1967 was lightning quick by war standards but still much longer than Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy.

This is what makes the Anglo-Zanzibar War of 1896 perhaps the most special war of all time: It was all over inside three-quarters of an hour. It’s the only war on record to be outlasted by an average episode of Breaking Bad, and it is a credit to all involved that, once hostilities broke out, it was all able to be sorted out so speedily.

To start at the beginning — which wasn’t particularly distant from the end — on August 25, 1896, the Sultan of Zanzibar, Hamad bin Thuwaini, passed away, and the throne of the tiny African island nation passed to his successor, Sultan Khalid bin Barghash.

This posed a problem for Britain, which had previously recognized Zanzibar’s independence and acknowledged it as a sovereign nation, but with the classically British caveat, “You know, not really.”

Although they didn’t technically own Zanzibar, the British were quite keen to keep control of it, especially as Germany was trying to throw its weight around in East Africa. With the 20th century looming and a couple of really promising wars penciled in to the schedule, Britain was eager to curb German influence as much as possible. With that in mind, the demise of the pro-British Thuwaini and accession of the much less pro-British Khalid gave the poms the screaming irrits.

Following the national motto, “Do what we say, grubby little foreigners,” Britain quickly issued an ultimatum: Khalid bin Barghash was to get out of the palace and let their preferred sultan, a sound chap by the name of Hamud bin Muhammed, move in, by 9 a.m. on August 27, or there would be hell to pay.

Nine o’clock on the morning of the 27th, however, found Khalid very much still in occupation of the palace, sitting tight with his little army and his flag flying proudly above — a flag that, he informed the British who were anchored in the harbor at Zanzibar Town, he had no intention of taking down. “We do not believe you will open fire,” read the message the new sultan sent to the British commander. “LOL,” replied the British consul, Basil Cave, “check this out then, bruv.” And with that the Brits opened fire.

Her Majesty’s ships Raccoon, Thrush and Sparrow — the ships with the really butch names being required for far more serious wars — began bombarding the palace. The first shot took out one of the Zanzibari cannons, and also caused Sultan Khalid to immediately bolt for the hills. The palace, which was mostly made of wood, and its inhabitants, who were mostly made of meat and bones, were equally ill-equipped to deal with the British shells, and both palace and men quickly began to fall apart.

A gallant effort to return fire came from the Zanzibaris’ decrepit ship the Glasgow, which fired on the British fleet, drawing a quick riposte, which sank the Glasgow without delay as the crew ran up a British flag by way of apology.

By 9:40 the war was over.

By the afternoon, Hamud bin Muhammed was sultan. Zanzibar had learned a valuable lesson about the advisability of standing up to bigger countries with better guns, and Britain had learned a valuable lesson about how awesome it was.

Once again the British Empire was in complete control of a foreign country, and all was right with the world once more.

But both winner and loser in this delightful boutique war could take pride in the fact that they had done something nobody had done before, and have not done since: fight a war from beginning to end in less time than it takes to roast a Christmas turkey.

That’s something nobody can ever take away from them.

This certainly qulifies as a fun recounting of a moment in history where very quickly one side of a conflict had to be wondering, “Just what the heck was I thinking, again?” … That said, we were most impressed with the shorthand language used in 1896. Heck we though “LOL” originated with Social Media. Of course Canada claims credit for that, should you be interested. You may not have any idea what a BBS (Bulletin Board System) looked like in the early days of the internet, but if you click on that link, you will get a bit of an idea. Now just imagine a little-bitty screen with a dark gray screen and very pixelated letters on it (probably in green). As for us, we will happily give them credit should they feel it important. How much can you brag about snow and maple syrup, eh?

Tequila Everyone?

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Big Shots (and Their Tequila)

Dozens of spirited celebs have taken the leap into the liquor market since George Clooney and Rande Gerber sold their famed Casamigos tequila to the spirits company Diageo for a reported $1 billion. Here, Penthouse takes a look at notable booze brands launched by some of the biggest names in showbiz and sports. So belly up to the bar, and learn more about these top-shelf celebs.

KENDALL JENNER

The 25-year-old model and star of the recently wrapped Keeping Up with the Kardashians named her 818 tequila after the area code of her native L.A. Judges at the World Tequila Awards say 818’s reposado has “an earthy nose which hints at pecan pie, sweet potato and caramel.” But booze isn’t her only venture. With her makeup mogul sister, Kylie Jenner, the couture queen launched the Kendall + Kylie fashion line. She also broke into the beauty industry with the oral hygiene line Moon. And the entire Kardashian clan is gearing up for a new reality show on streaming service Hulu.

DWAYNE “THE ROCK” JOHNSON

The former wrestler turned action movie hero owns Teremana tequila with co-founders Dany Garcia, Jenna Fagnan and Ken Austin. The brand’s reposado and blanco have been praised for their citrus-tinged flavor and oaky nuances, and the Ballers actor, 49, has frequently featured the liquor on his popular Instagram account. The savvy businessman has also partnered with apparel manufacturer Under Armour to release the Project Rock collection, which includes training shoes, hats, bags and clothes for men and women. He’s also launched Athleticon, a competitive bodybuilding show in the vein of Mr. Olympia.

RITA ORA

The “Let You Love Me” songbird, 30, says she collaborated with a female master distiller on Próspero’s blanco, reposado and añejo varieties with hopes to “push boundaries” in a largely male-dominated segment of the industry. Upon its 2020 release, she explained, “I do feel like this project really comes from the heart.” The British performer has also branched out into acting and modeling. She’s been the face of Italian sneaker brand Superga and has a designer collaboration with Adidas. She’s also co-designed a capsule shoe collection with Italian footwear legend Giuseppe Zanotti.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE

The 40-year-old recording artist — and star of the flick Palmer — brought the “SexyBack” to the alcohol market in 2013 with business partner Kevin Ruder via their award-winning 901 tequila, which has since been renamed Sauza 901. Its reposado is said to feature hints of vanilla, while the añejo boasts notes of pepper, coffee, nuts and roasted oak. The former NSYNC boy bander has sold more than 32 million albums as a solo artist. But he’s also been involved in the restaurant biz and launched the William Rast clothing line with pal Juan “Trace” Ayala and the collaborative collection Fresh Leaves with Levi’s.

SAMMY HAGAR & ADAM LEVINE

The “I Can’t Drive 55” rocker, 73, and the Maroon 5 frontman, 42, collaborated on what they call the world’s first tequila-mezcal hybrid in 2017 — 11 years after the former Van Halen singer founded Cabo Wabo tequila and seven years after he sold his stake in CW to the Campari Group for $11 million. Sammy has owned nightclubs in Mexico, Lake Tahoe, Fresno and Las Vegas, and in 2011, he launched Sammy’s Beach Bar Rum. Adam created the First Act 222 guitar, which was built to his specs and sold in Target, and also launched his own fashion line, 222.

MICHAEL JORDAN

The 58-year-old Chicago Bulls veteran and six-time NBA champ — along with four co-founders — created Cincoro tequila, its name being a portmanteau of the Spanish words for “five” and “gold.” You’ll need deep pockets for its ultra-premium extra añejo, which clocks in at nearly $1,600 — but other varieties come with more reasonable price tags, hovering near the $100 mark. Of course, money is no object for Jordan, who’s worth a reported $1.6 billion. The retired jock is principal owner of the NBA’s Charlotte Hornets and co-owner of NASCAR’s 23XI Racing, which fields driver Bubba Wallace. Jordan’s got numerous endorsement and business feathers in his cap, including his hugely popular Air Jordan sneakers with Nike.

CARLOS SANTANA

The legendary guitarist, 73, actually hails from Jalisco, Mexico, the famed home of tequila, giving him a greater connection to the spirit than most celebrities. Casa Noble has been produced since the 1700s, but Santana, along with business partners, bought a stake in the brand in 2011. The iconic axman has also used his musical knowledge and expertise to design several Gibson and PRS Guitars. In 2019, Santana launched the Carlos Santana Coffee Company, and a year later, he announced a partnership with Left Coast Ventures, a cannabis and hemp business headquartered in Santa Rosa, Calif., which saw the creation of cannabis brand Mirayo.

AC/DC

Thunderstruck is more than one of the Australian rock bands biggest hits — it’s also the name of their successful tequila line. The brand’s earthy silver variety is said to feature a buttery taste with a semi-dry fade and a smooth finish, while its reposado is a robust beverage with a warm, golden hue. The tequila followed the 2012 debut of the band’s Thunderstruck wine. They’ve also got their own Rock or Bust German premium lager, AC/DC beer and the energy drink High Voltage. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg for the legendary rockers, who’ve also had their own branded headphones, Converse Chuck Taylors and a Monopoly board game.

TOBY KEITH

The 59-year-old country superstar’s Wild Shot mezcal sets itself apart from the pack by being made with 100 percent green agave — instead of tequila’s typical Blue Weber agave — and by featuring a worm in the bottle. According to Keith, “It’s not there for the looks. It is there to be eaten.” The singer also owns the popular Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill restaurant chain, which is named after one of his hit tunes, and established the clothing line TK Steelman, among other business ventures. With an estimated net worth of $365 million, he’s been dubbed the Cowboy Capitalist.

CHRIS NOTH

Sex and the City’s Mr. Big is the face of Ambhar tequila, as well as the brand’s creative director and majority shareholder. Noth, 66, once bragged his booze was “better,” “richer and more complex” than Casamigos, but he generously added, “There’s room in the market for both.”  The accomplished actor, who’s reprising his iconic role in the Sex and the City HBO Max reboot, is also a big name in NYC nightlife. He’s been a co-owner of The Cutting Room with Steve Walter since its founding in 1999, and with co-investors David Wells and Damon Dash, he was an owner of The Plumm, which closed in 2009.

POST MALONE

This year has brought plenty of new music, including the song “Tequila Shots” from G-Eazy and Post Malone. Although the tattooed “Circles” singer doesn’t have his own brand of tequila, in 2018 he was presented with a custom bottle of Avión Reserva 44 — which was engraved with an image of his famous face. However, you may be surprised to learn that Malone is behind Maison No. 9 wine, an homage to rosé. The vino’s name is said to be inspired by the artist’s favorite tarot card — the Nine of Swords — and is priced at a very affordable $22.

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY 

The Lone Star State’s favorite bongo-playing son, Matthew McConaughey, joined forces with Kentucky bourbon distillery Wild Turkey to launch Longbranch. The small batch, eight-year-old bourbon boasts flavors of caramel, pear and hints of citrus with notes of pepper and toasted oak. But bourbon isn’t McConaughey’s only passion. The 51-year-old Oscar winner is also a minority owner in Major League Soccer’s Austin FC. Calling the sport a “great uniter,” the actor says he’s focusing on establishing a “legacy” that utilizes Austin’s culture to help the franchise’s “roots grow deeper, not just wider.”

Alright, alright, alright. (Sorry. Had to be done.) … Seriously, though, we were impressed that the star shunned the typical tequila branch in favor of some good ol’ American bourbon. It even has its own web site which you can check out — presuming you can remember your birthday or at least be able to subtract 21 from 2021. If you cannot, you likely should not be here anyway. You’re gonna be confused.