Lovin’ Us Some Alexis Love

Where Are They Now? … Alexis Love

Alexis says she “spent a few rewarding years feature dancing,” and then became an aesthetician. (Somehow that makes perfect sense, right?)

But according to Ms. Alexis Love, she still loves reconnecting with old fans and making new ones at her OnlyFans account. We do not find that particularly surprising, of course. You see, what started out as a way to keep paying rent during all the lockdowns has turned into a, “I’m sorry. You want me to come sit around a dirty set with a bunch of potentially infected people all day for how much money?” sort of a new reality.

Alexis Love Glamour Shot

Contrary to some beliefs out there, the women who get into this business do not always make the decision because they are stupid. As with any industry, you will find some folks with highly evolved levels of theoretical and philosophical rumination capacity. You will also find others who have those abilities … not so much, really. Still, voluntarily dealing with all the family, or public, or housing, or any number of “other” fields of harassment potential takes a special kind of person. Not to destroy the fantasy here, but they do not choose this profession only because they want to get laid. Any of these women could pretty much get that at any bar, any time, anywhere.

So at least hold your opinions in check when you meet them, or get a chance to talk to them online. In fact you can test our theory simply by looking up Alexis. Who knows? Maybe, you’ll, y’know, learn some additional interesting things @teamalexislove.

Oh! Regarding the single beautiful, albeit lonely, photograph here, we can explain. Alexis sent us a whole bunch of new pictures, honestly. She still seems to have an aversion to clothing, though, which does not fit within the Penthouse standards for publication out in the world where sensitive eyes might see. We did put the set up for the members of PenthouseGold (yesterday, in fact), but in order to see them, they’re going to want to charge you. (They love Alexis Love differently than we do, you see.)

Surely it would be worth every penny just to see Alexis Love alone, but we hate to appear sneaky. Alexis would not Love that.

Photograph (and the others inside) by Ryan Calerdon

Lockdown Halloween Party with Cam Girls

Lockdown is still very much a thing in the United States … so that doesn’t leave much room for a Halloween celebration. No bar hopping, no house parties, no ding-dong ditching, no outside crowds, no checking out hot chicks in their slutty maid outfits … which is, obviously, the best part of the night. We had memorable times on Halloween when we would go to bars or attend massive events just to look at beautiful babes in sexy outfits. Then maybe we could spark up sexual tension with a slutty witch or a big-breasted ballerina. And if the night went as planned, we were in for one hell of a one-night stand. But times are different now. Everything we’ve been doing these past seven months has been virtual- even contact with beautiful strangers. So, if everything is virtual, does that mean we can have a virtual Halloween party? Maybe one that ‘still’ ends with a one-night stand?

There are thousands of hot chicks who are celebrating Halloween this year. Camster.com has beautiful women all over the world who are dressing up. While we’re stuck inside fantasizing about that slutty nurse outfit or tight kitty cat suit, we can find girls in these outfits just by going online. Not only are these cam girls dressing up, but they pretty much guarantee a one-night stand. That’s kind of the main purpose why these girls became cam models- they’re looking for someone across the screen who will make them cum.

So when we’re in the mood to party this Halloween- live sex chat is where it’s at.

In fact, audience members can participate in the site’s Halloween contest. There will be a costume contest for models that viewers can vote on. Customers can also hand out virtual pumpkins. The models will receive a special prize, which leads to fulfilling every man’s desire. This could include dirty talk, roleplay, dildo fun, jerk-off instruction, and plenty more. There are cash prizes for the costume and pumpkin hunt contest winners- prices ranging from $100-$1,500. Customers can also enjoy game nights and raffles during these contests.

Something else to look forward to- roleplay is bound to take on an entirely new form in the season of the witch. These cam girls are already in costume so they’re set to bring their characters to life. It’s one thing to fantasize about the sexy vampire succubus on the street- it’s another to find a girl right across the computer screen who will ‘become’ that demonic seductress as she lures horny men to her lair.

Vampires not your thing though? Maybe you’ll find the ethereal princess or glowing mermaid online who wants to take you under the sea for some underwater sex. You may also find slutty Dorothy who’s waiting to cum in the merry old land of Oz. Isn’t dress-up fun?

Check out some of the top cam girls on the site who might play your favorite role in a very special Lockdown Halloween. Just put in a special request in their chatrooms and they’ll be happy to make this Halloween more magical than most of us probably expected it to be.

Sophia Sanchez

Lockdown Halloween with Sophia Sanchez

“Sophia is so so incredible. Incredibly sweet and sexy with one of the best ‘do me’ looks I’ve ever seen. You won’t ever regret time spent with Sophia.”

Angel Sweety

“Angel is a true barbie doll. She is gorgeous from head to toes. She has an angelic face, huge twins, perfect legs, a nice round rear end, athletic strong thighs, perfect toned legs, and cute feet. She looks like a college cheerleader, but with bigger twins.”

Olive Ray

“She is absolutely the hottest girl here. You ask, she does. She loves to cum and you can hear her cum!”

Bea Sweets

Lockdown Halloween with Bea Sweets

“So sexy. Love her body, WOW, and she’s flexible!”

Mia Wood

“Mia couldn’t look any prettier than she already does! With her stunning eyes, beautiful lips, absolutely gorgeous smile, phenomenal breasts, and the best booty for the world to see, she is simply amazing.”

Find thousands of cam girls on Camster.com and celebrate your own Lockdown Halloween this year. …

(And explore some of our earlier features, should you be feeling adventurous.)

Intentional HIV

Why These Cuban Punks Injected Themselves With HIV

For those on the outside, it’s hard to understand the punk mentality. That’s sort of the point. Being ‘punk’ is about shocking your parents, rebelling against norms and creating a counterculture wholly separate from stifling mainstream conformity. However, sometimes that devil-may-care attitude goes too far.

This was certainly the case for the Cuban punks who injected themselves with HIV-infected blood in the early 1990s. As foolish as it seems now, for the small group of dissident rockers and punks living in the confines of the tiny island nation, self-administering one of the deadliest diseases in the world was a way to escape on their own terms from a harshly oppressive regime that sought to eliminate their existence.

This tragic story of misspent youth started on Christmas Day, 1991. The Hammer and Sickle flag was lowered over the Kremlin for the last time and along with other Soviet satellites around the world, Cuba was cut loose and left to fend for itself. For the Cuban people, who were already amid an economic crisis, this was disastrous. The Cuban economy up until that point was floated primarily by Soviet support. Harsh trade restrictions imposed by the United States meant that the socialist republic relied on the Russians for about 80 per cent of its imports and exports. This was the beginning of a time Fidel Castro euphemistically referred to as the “special period”.

It’s not unusual for leaders of faltering states to tighten the screws and crackdown on dissident behaviour. And for a young punk who idolised a distinctly westernised brand of rebellion, the ‘special period’ was tough. If you were the sort of kid who grew a Mohawk, pierced any available surface and rocked out to the Ramones, you were likely to find yourself in direct conflict with the National Revolutionary Police Force — or worse — the army, who routinely beat, incarcerated and forced any young punks who dared stand up to the authority of the state into labour camps.

What’s a nonconformist to do when the beatings get too much and forced labour is in direct contradiction to everything they stand for? The solution for a tribe of punks and rockers who called themselves Los Frikis was to intentionally contract HIV. Sounds crazy, which it was, but there was a rationale behind this seemingly pointless act of self-destruction. “We gave ourselves AIDS to liberate ourselves from society and these laws about obligatory work, and to live in our own world,” said Luis Enrique Delgado, a Friki who was interviewed by Newsweek magazine in 1994.

The Intentional HIV Result

But rebellion wasn’t the only thing on their minds. Being HIV positive was a ticket to special sanitariums set up to quarantine infected individuals. Outside of the military’s control, the institutions were run by progressive public health officials who gave the patients access to food, medicine, and other comforts such as air-conditioning, that were scarce in Cuba. And perhaps more importantly, Los Frikis were allowed to be themselves.

The sanitariums became hubs of creativity. Gay men lived together, art classes and theatre troupes formed and loud heavy rock music blasted from the inhabitants’ dorms — it was an oasis of alternative culture in an otherwise inhospitable nation. As more rebellious kids caught wind of what was going on, the more HIV spread to bolster the Frikis’ ranks.

Juan Carlos Quintana, another young Friki who was interviewed by Newsweek, injected himself when he was 17 because he had fallen in love with an HIV-infected girl. They were married in the sanitarium, but by the time the interview took place, his wife had already succumbed to the disease. Juan Carlos, like most of the other Frikis, eventually died in a similar fashion. It’s hard to know if in those early days of the AIDS crisis they truly appreciated that a cure wasn’t coming or that adequate treatment would still be decades away from being perfected.

Was it worth it? In their defiance, they ended up hurting only themselves, so it would seem not. At least they got a little taste of freedom, even if for only a short while.

[Possibly, but Intentional HIV still ranks right up there with the stupidest ideas ever. -Ed. … Should you desire more rumination regarding those who revel in being “Punks” in the world, we have touched on the topic previously.]

The Virtual Orgy Explosion

People Are Having Orgies on ZOOM

Are you a Netflix or a Virtual Orgy kind of guy?

While COVID-19 caused elite sex club Snctm to cancel their infamous New York orgy for celebrities and the super-rich, London-based swingers club Killing Kittens wasn’t going to let a little pandemic shutter their hedonism. In March, the club hosted their first virtual orgy via video conferencing platform, Zoom, for 100 horny masked members, giving them a peek into 55 households; the conversation dotted with risqué burlesque and fire performances. While it’s obviously impossible to shag 54 other couples via the internet, Killing Kittens Founder Emma Sayle clarified the intention prior to the two-hour sexy house party by saying, “Obviously there’s not an actual orgy in place, but it’s adult, there will be a lot of nakedness and lingerie on display and people challenging each other to do certain things with each other.”

Shay and Ross, founders of Playscapes, an NYC-based sex club recently held a 60-person-strong orgy via a video conferencing app. The party included burlesque, hot wax, pole dancing, a squirting demonstration and a shower show, and ended with couples having sex on screen. “When you’re sex-positive or polyamorous and part of a larger community, there’s a disconnect [while self-isolating] from your partners that feels daunting,” Shay says. “Our friends were grateful to see familiar faces.” The event was such a success that the couple is planning another one. Sandra, a participant in the online orgy said, “At the end of the day, sluts will always find a way to be slutty and share the love, even during a freaking pandemic,” Sandra says. “I absolutely love it.”

In the adult entertainment arena, porn star Ivy Wolfe organised and shot a 20-minute lesbian gangbang with porn stars Joanna Angel, Aiden Ashley and Charlotte Satre, over “a well-known video conferencing platform,” XBIZ reported. The women filmed via their home isolations via a video app, while directed by Alexandre Sartre (no relation to Charlotte).

“During this quarantine period, we’ve all been struggling to stay busy and continue to create,” said the director, who is also a noted glamour photographer in both the mainstream and adult worlds.

“So Ivy and I brainstormed and came up with the idea of a ‘social distancing lesbian orgy’ with three of our favourite performers, all stars in their own right,” Alexandre Sartre added.

“If this long-distance lesbian orgy scene does well, we might consider doing more. Who knows? Shooting porn via videoconferencing might become ‘the new normal’ for the time being.”

“This is the new orgy!” says Angel. “Orgy in the digital age. This is the new way. It’s so much fun to masturbate with people! It really felt like we were having sex.”

The 20-minute scene, titled Quarantine Lesbian Circle Jerk is available through each performer’s OnlyFans accounts.

What a time to be alive.

Like everything in life, moderation may be key, however. Heed our warnings, as you remember our earlier Penthouse Tale of, well, tail.

A Friendly Global FU

How To Say “F***” Around The World

And though it’s a little more advanced, we’d also recommend, I’m deeply sorry for the public urination, officer. My bladder was about to burst.

But the second thing? How to swear like a trucker.

There’s a scene in Don DeLillo’s novel The Names where an American living in Greece is driving with some British friends. He mistakenly turns into a one-way Athens street and the driver coming at him gestures obscenely and yells a Greek word unfamiliar to the American. One of the Brits translates: “Masturbator.”

Another Brit chastises the American for his ignorance, arguing that learning “local terms of abuse and the words for sex acts and natural wastes” is a mark of respect for the culture. Meanwhile, Nobel Prize-winning Mexican poet Octavio Paz says cussing is “the only living language in a world of anemic vocables.”

And you know what? The fucker’s right!

Curse words are not only the funniest, most exciting part of any language, they’re also a great way to blend in with locals and tap into a place’s psyche. Consider “shit.” What does it say about us that we use the word for everything from actual excrement to our personal possessions to a bratty little kid?

Or take “motherfucker.” Any foreigner unclear on our society’s stance on incest would get set straight pretty motherfucking fast if they heard us spit out the word.

There’s also a practical reason for boning up on foreign profanities and slurs: It can save your ass. Knuckleheads, skinheads, fuckheads, homophobes, racists, and other assholes like to yell shit before they jump you, if that’s their game. But there are nuances. The odds of imminent violence go down if the word “cunt” is spoken by an Englishman. On the flip side, if a Canadian twice the size of an average NHL player calls you a “goof” in a bar, you better head for the nearest exit.

Here, then, is our guide to the world’s curse words, sex words, and you-better-run words, with an emphasis on the greatest of them all, the f-word.

MEXICAN SPANISH

You may be familiar with the verb chingar. It might seem like a pretty literal cognate to the English verb “fuck,” with all its offshoots. You can’t get much closer to being a fucker than being un chingón. Except in English, sometimes the word “fucker” can express admiration or affection. Like when we say, “He’s such a funny fucker!” Or, “Are you kidding? I love the fucker!” This approving sense is completely absent in chinga.

Etymologically, chingar means “to rip apart.” Octavio Paz attributes the word’s implicit violence to the Spanish conquistadors who chingado’d — fucked — the Aztec Empire right down the middle. This makes Hernán Cortés the original chingón, but remember, for every fucker there has to be a fuckee. It’s simple physics.

In the case of Cortés, his chingada — that which he fucked — wasn’t just the social fabric of indigenous Mexico. He also literally fucked his native guide and interpreter, Malintzin, aka Doña Marina, leaving her pregnant with the first mestizo child in history, and leaving the mixed-race children to come with the mother of all mommy issues. Traditional nicknames for Malintzin include La Malinche — roughly the Mexican equivalent of Benedict Arnold — La Llorona, the weeping wife, and, easy enough, La Chingada. So if you’ve ever wondered why some Mexicans get so worked up over the casual suggestion that they chinga their madre, maybe it’s because their ancestral madre got about as fucked as you can get.

FRENCH

The French, go figure, have a ludicrous number of expressions for fucking — more words for the act than sexual positions detailed in the Kama Sutra and practiced at Kink.com’s legendary Armory porn studio combined. They also have a variety of excellent fuck-yous, from the plosively straightforward baise-toi to the concise t’encul, which makes the five syllables of “fuck your own ass out” seem like sputtering overkill.

That said, in a culture this nakedly libidinous, insulting someone by referencing fornication doesn’t pack quite the same punch as it does in the U.S., where the “U” might as well stand for “unlaid.” Consequently, to really get a French person’s dander up, you’ve got to take the reverse tack. Try calling them mal baisé and see how long it takes the wine glass in their hand to connect with your skull.

Thanks to the wonderfully polysemous nature of French, with its words carrying so many meanings, when you hurl mal baisé at someone, you’re not only saying they’re “poorly fucked,” you’re also implying they’re terrible at fucking or haven’t ever been fucked at all! In a city like Paris, it’s the ultimate indignity. Sacre bleu!

FRENCH CANADIAN

When France surrendered Canada to England in the 1760s after a war and treaty, it forked Gallic culture in two very different directions.

While the European French underwent centuries of political revolution and social upheaval, their tongues and morals loosening along the way, Québec played relatively nice and let the Catholic Church run the show until the middle of last century. The result is a weird, horny little province where nudity is a regular part of breakfast (google “serveuse sexy”) and B&Bs leave books by the Marquis de Sade on the nightstands, but where the most potent word you can say derives from “tabernacle.” That’s the box in a Catholic church where they keep the communion wafers. Tabernak — French Canadian slang for “fuck” — is used to express immense excitement (akin to “Fucking awesome!”) or when a resident of the province smashes their thumb with a hammer. Tabernak! Tabernak! Tabernak!

Incidentally, two other big curse words are hostie (the wafers themselves) and calisse (the chalice you drink communion wine out of). These words are not only fully interchangeable, you can also cram them all together to make a triple-swear. Ah, calisse d’hostie de tabernak! It’s the holy trinity of cussin’.

REGULAR CANADIAN

These guys say “fuck” the same way we do, but boy, do they say it a lot. Half the time it’s not even really a word, but simply a sound they make to fill in speech gaps, like Americans might say “um” or “like.” If you really wanna get a Canuck’s goat, the best way is to disparage their work ethic. The insult “dog fucker” originated as a reference to someone so lazy they can’t even be bothered to find another human to have sex with, and so look to canines. While laziness is common around the world, proud Canadians really don’t like being called on it.

You can also call them a “goof” — the verbal equivalent of dropping an atomic bomb — to emphasize your Canadian target’s slacker ways. Maybe throw “Canuck” in there for added impact. For some reason it still bums a lot of them out.

ITALIAN

You know your culture might be a little on the religious side when you let the Pope have his own country inside your country. Ditto when you can watch reality TV stars screw on prime-time television, but then get kicked off the air for blaspheming the Lord.

If you’ve spent enough time around Italians, you’ve probably heard all manner of colorful signifiers for copulation and the anatomical components involved.

It’s entirely possible, however, your ears have never been blessed with the king-mother-god-emperor of Italian swears. It’s a two-word phrase so heavy, so laden with fury, that even Italians who regularly exclaim pota di Christo (“Christ’s cunt”) or cazzo Maria (“Mary’s dick”) would hesitate to let it pass through their lips.

You ready for it?

Porco dio. That’s it. “Pig god.” I used to think the porco in porco dio worked the way we sometimes say “porking” to mean “fucking.” Like, “No way, that dude porked Bethany?!” THAT at least made sense. I mean, sure, “fuck god” is a pretty extreme sentiment. But porco does not equal “pork,” not as a verb for “fucking,” not even as a noun. When an Italian yells “Porco dio!” the meaning is literal. “Pig god!”

Totally separate point: Did you know Ani DiFranco is Italian for “Frank’s anus”?

CHINESE

Say tso, like General Tso, but a little crisper on the “T,” like halfway to “ch.” Good, you just said “fuck” in Chinese. Now try tso ni. That’s “fuck you.” And finally, give me a tso ni ma. Very nice. NEVER say that with a Chinese person within earshot. It’s the Mandarin equivalent of saying, “Fuck your mom.”

Mainland Chinese culture is about as coarse as contemporary civilization gets. Be it the back-to-back-to-back trauma of the civil wars, the Japanese occupation, the Communist Revolution, and Mao’s Great Leap Forward, or just an inherent consequence of thrusting a billion people from farming to superpowerdom in less than half a century, even the most sophisticated urban dwellers of the freeishwheeling New China have some pretty rough edges.

If you keep your ears open at fancy government functions, you’ll hear the word shah-bih (“stupid cunt”) continuously muttered by everyone, from party ministers to the janitor.

Likewise, if you go to a punk rock show, prepare to have NU-BIH! shouted at you from all angles. In practice, it’s the equivalent of yelling “Fuck yeah!” But if you punch it into Google Translate, you get “cow vagina.” How agrarian is that?

ARABIC

God love a society where you can pick a fight by calling someone a shoe. “Hey! You’re a shoe!” BLAM. Seriously, though, don’t go calling folks “shoes” in the Middle East. Nor dogs, donkeys, or sons of these animals. They’ve already got enough on their regional plate without having to deal with your sass-mouth. That said, if somebody’s giving you a hard time, and you happen to be in the Fertile Crescent, a brisk, exasperated بعبوس (pronounced “baaboos”) should make your feelings about the situation pretty plain. Its literal meaning strays a bit from conventional notions of fucking, and is a lot closer to “get your finger out of my asshole,” but it nicely nails the spirit of being fucked with.

RUSSIAN

Cursing in Russian could be its own article. Hell, its own book. Hell, it is a book. Punk ethnographer Alexei Plutser-Sarno, part of the same Moscow art collective that gave us Pussy Riot, has been assembling a multivolume dictionary of mat for the past 15 years. Mat — pronounced “maht” — is Russian for “obscene language.” It derives from the Russian word for “mother,” as in “Go fuck your mother.” Real nice, Russia.

This mother tongue is so extensive, the first volume of Plutser-Sarno’s dictionary runs over a thousand entries and consists solely of expressions using the Russian  word for “cock,” хуй (pronounced “kwee”). So far he’s published three volumes of a projected 12: volume two’s all “pussy” (пиздá /“pizda”), while three is for “fuck” (ебáTь /“yebát”). He’s currently working on the next two volumes: four will continue his “fuck” work, while five focuses on “fucked.”

That’s right. The Russian f-word needs an entire dictionary for a single participle. Bear this in mind before you set out to get your ass kicked in the Russian Federation. If you think you’re getting under someone’s skin by calling their mom a сук /“suk” (“bitch”) or a блядь /“blyad” (“whore”), you need to know you’re in a whole separate league from people who regularly drop the word сукблядь /“sukblyad” (“bitchwhore”) in casual conversation and who are so far past telling you to go “fuck your mom” that they now just say, “Go to your fucked mother” (иди к ебаный мать /“idi ka’ebenyi mat”). Besides, блядь /“blyad” has become so commonplace in Russian speech, it’s turned into a conversational hesitation tool like “um” or “uh,” or a Canadian’s use of “fuck.”

Muscovites and their fellow Russians will probably just assume you have a very slow stammer.

EVERY OTHER LANGUAGE

Here’s the thing. No matter where you are on this great planet, if you really want to say the word “fuck” and have locals instantly understand you, just say “fuck.” No translation needed. Hip-hop, Hollywood movies, and the internet have done the heavy lifting for you. For all the lame aspects that have followed globalization and Western cultural hegemony (example: Bangkok is home to the world’s second-largest Starbucks), it’s helpful to remember that at no other point in human history has it been as easy for an American to be an asshole wherever he or she wants.

Thomas Morton is a writer, documentary-maker, and the creator of the TV series “Balls Deep.” He has learned to swear in the vernacular of 42 different countries, although a lot of them tend to run together.

Masking Affection with Penthouse

You can read lots of boring press release sorts of things all over where various people — famous and not — have donated their time to promote what should be an act of simple kindness. Then again, you will not find much in the way of “simple” in the year 2020. Consequently, we decided to wander the path via the unique vision of our social media team. Continue reading “Masking Affection with Penthouse”

Mask Kissing: Pent up During the Pandemic of 2020

Now That We Can’t Touch, What Are We Gonna Do?

For those of us worried about the transmission of the virus in semen (one of the dangers, you’ll recall, of the AIDS virus), it brought a modicum of relief to learn a recent study by a team of international researchers found a group of Chinese men showed no trace of Covid-19 virus in their semen when examined eight days to three months post-diagnosis.

The relief was short-lived, though, because a subsequent study by a Chinese research team detected the virus in a small subset of 38 infected men. American researchers cautioned against reading too much into this very limited study, however, with the Society for Reproductive Medicine saying the findings are not cause for alarm.

But that’s how it’s been during this crisis: up and down. Shifts in the medical science, weird new symptoms established (Covid toe, anyone?), alterations of epidemiological models—the very definition of a fluid situation, with thousands of lives at stake.

Along with big-picture grimness, there are those stressful hygiene protocols we’re trying to practice so we can avoid our own personal encounter with the “Invisible Enemy.” For the most germ-wary people, opening tricky packages and transferring food from just-bought containers can feel as delicate as defusing a bomb.

Physical distancing. Surface decontamination. Face masks. Sanitizing groceries. The list goes on. Suddenly, many of us are spending hours socializing or conferencing on Zoom at home, re-binge-watching cable shows, and checking out TikTok influencers.

You can’t hook up from six feet away. And the fact that people can be infectious without showing symptoms just adds to the risk of bodily contact with another. To make matters worse, the bars, coffee shops, restaurants, and clubs where we used to be able to meet someone new or take someone on a date might be closed, out of business, or operating with limited hours, smaller patron numbers, and physical distancing inside.

So what are our options when it comes to sex and romance during Covid-19?

We checked in with retired porn star Brittany Andrews, an AVN Hall of Famer, dancer, dominatrix, and an all-around glamorous blonde with a wealth of sex expertise.

“I’ve always been a safe-sex person,” Andrews tells Penthouse via the safety of Skype. “I was one of the longest-running condoms-only performers. And one of my favorite fetishes, being a natural-born germaphobe, was always foot-fetish stuff. A lot of that is pretty safe—I just show you my toes and feet. I think with this Covid-19 thing, sex will be activities that aren’t as intimate, and that don’t include a lot of saliva.”

Of course our new pandemic-altered reality comes at a time when hooking up was already pretty complicated, given our culture’s changed rules of sexual etiquette.

“Even before Covid-19,” Andrews points out, “we had the #MeToo movement. I feel like that made it difficult for men, in person, to hit on a girl. I think the way human beings connect today is a lot different from when you and I were younger.”

Though dating technology has moved a lot of the business of meeting and flirting online, Tinder and other apps are not to everyone’s taste, Andrews says.

“I have frequent conversations about sex and dating,” says the sex-industry veteran, “and there are still a lot of people who don’t believe in hooking up using apps. They prefer meeting people out in the world and seeing if there’s any chemistry in person.”

Needless to say, there aren’t a lot of hookups and romances kindling in public places mid-pandemic. So those who prefer to look for sex and love in non-digital ways may finally find themselves shifting to a greater reliance on phone and computer screens.

But this crisis is bringing change to everyone’s life, including those who live and love most digitally. The global upheaval will have multiple social and cultural repercussions. And with regard to sex and dating, the shockwaves may impact certain groups more intensely than others. Those who were the most sexually active pre-pandemic might be one group. Another might be people who are generally more anxious about germs and disease, whether or not coronavirus is raging.

People who adapt quickly to this uncharted world will help set the new trends and identify opportunities. And while scientists search for a vaccine, we can anticipate that in this high-risk period, fantasy, fetish, and flirting will assume larger roles.

By necessity, our sexual behavior will become even more visually oriented—a change well underway. In April, for example, the New York Times ran a piece on the sharp rise in people sending nude selfies to each other. The reporter interviewed a couple of guys who were receiving nude selfies from multiple people. A young woman in the article suggested delivering a little pleasure to someone via nude pictures of herself was, in a sense, one way she could do her part to help others get through this tough time.

Brittany Andrews reminds us that even during a pandemic, the human sex drive can’t be stopped. Consequently, there will be a broad range of sexual responses and behaviors manifested.

“People are horny and some are going to fuck, no matter what,” Andrews says. Then with a chuckle, she adds, “There are a lot of guys out there who will be like, ‘I’ll get some Covid-19 to bust a nut.’ We all know it.”

Interest in medical fetish gear has gotten a bump, according to Andrews. (A shrink might say that’s a way of sublimating or taming the anxiety we have about medical matters these days—sexualizing what’s scary). Fantasy scenarios involving face and full-head latex masks, latex gloves and aprons, and even more extreme applications like full rubber “gimp” regalia are having their day.

“It’s all about the memes of the gimp outfit at the grocery store,” Andrews says, laughing. “I mean, if we’re gonna do it, let’s just go there. I’ve been seeing a lot of my girlfriends capitalizing on the latex masks.”

Natalie Mars and her girlfriend Mistress Damazonia—one of Andrews’ favorite porn couples—have been exploring more medical fetishes. “I love them so much!” says Andrews. “Natalie won best trans performer for both AVN and Pornhub Awards. Her girlfriend has been playing the latex nurse with the mask and gloves and it’s so fucking hot.”

Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, and the Kardashian Kult are all fans of latex fashions. Can it be long before Miley is posing in an N95 mask and matching monokini? Will we see PPE streetwear designs from Kanye West’s clothing company? And don’t be surprised if full-face shields, disposable industrial HAZMAT coveralls, balaclavas, opera gloves, and goggles are all featured on Fall Fashion Week’s runways. (Though whether any celebrities will be spectating in-person remains to be seen.)

“The other day,” says Andrews, “I picked up stuff from a girl I know who makes designer face masks. I’ve now got a Chanel one and a Louis Vuitton one, so it’s become its own fashion statement—like medical fetish goes mainstream.”

Along with this shift to online visual communication via Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime, and the surge in sex-industry cam sites and platforms like OnlyFans, brick-and-mortar adult retailers and their customers are also capitalizing on online modes of commerce.

One such retailer is Chi Chi LaRue’s Circus, located in West Hollywood, a store which had the rotten luck of opening for business just a few weeks before the pandemic hit.

Formerly called Circus of Books, this landmark location on Santa Monica Boulevard was the area’s first LGBT adult store. Such was its iconic status, the store is now the subject of a new, critically acclaimed Netflix documentary, Circus of Books. The film was directed by artist Rachel Mason, daughter of longtime owners Barry and Karen Mason.

Rob Novinger, CEO of the store’s parent company, Channel 1 Releasing, told Penthouse there’s been a spike in online ordering from the retailer’s digital storefront.

“For us, the surge certainly doesn’t replace the volume from our physical stores, but I’m not complaining,” Novinger says. “What I have noticed is people are really stocking up on the basics—just like people are doing with toilet paper. Lube, cock rings, dongs—BIG dongs. I think people must be utilizing their time at home for anal challenges.”

Novinger also notes a jump in local online orders from regulars who before shopped in-person.

When this Chi Chi LaRue’s Circus location does open its doors again, visitors are in for a treat, with all the erotic art, stylish Instagramable interiors, pink and orange color schemes, elaborate role-play costume and fashion items, aisle of lubricants, coffee-table books, and more.

But until that day comes, online is the way to go. And any product that can liven up staying at home is to be appreciated.

“Time for more self-love!” Novinger says with a smile. Then he adds, “I think that explains the surge in vibes, lube, and dongs. It’s a super strange time, but I think it’s pushing people to discover new things that maybe weren’t part of their normal routine.”

As for Andrews, “safer at home” in Las Vegas, she agrees that self-pleasuring is no doubt on the increase. “I’m going to assume a lot of people aren’t getting laid right now,” she observes. “If you’re single, I would think getting laid would be difficult.”

Elaborating, she adds, “I think people are going to be coming up with new ways to masturbate. With the whole camming thing, there are hi-tech devices where the other person can control your experience by using an app on their phone. I think there’s going to be more stuff like that—so you can participate with the other person.

“Before this whole thing began, I wasn’t really used to jumping on my computer and having whole conversations with people,” Andrews says. “I would schedule a Skype meeting every once in a while—but this is my third one today. I think this kind of communication is going to become more a part of everyday life moving forward.”

NOW FOR SOME “MASK KISSING” ADVICE

Sex Expert: Creativity Is Key

Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist Stephanie Hunter Jones, PhD, counsels clients who are negotiating new ways to hygienically hook up and feel sexy virtually.

“I think people are going to have to get very creative,” she says, “and that could be a good thing.”

Staying sexual during Covid-19? Here are four more observations from Hunter Jones:

Social distancing will take some getting used to.
“Clients I help to open up sexually and explore sexual experiences, they’re having a difficult time because they’ve had to tone that down. Some are limiting to one or two partners.”

Virtual reality is the new reality.
About half of Hunter Jones’s coupled clients are swingers. “They’re doing things virtually, to be as safe as possible. Zoom found out about it and they’re trying to crack down, so there are independent servers popping up to host new platforms.”

Singles might enjoy “no-touch” games.
“You can have conversations, enjoy a glass of wine, and get to know each other online because that’s the reality of what we’re living with right now. When it comes to meeting in public, yes, we have to wear masks, but you can use it flirtatiously. Maybe reveal your face a little at a time.”

Sexiness is healthy.
Feeling good helps support mental health and the immune system. “Sex is just one aspect of our sexuality. Sexuality is an essence of energy that lives within us. I’ve been working with clients during this time to get in touch with that essence—that passion.”

Dorothy Darker is only too happy to wear a face mask and keep a six-foot distance while riding out the pandemic in Los Angeles. She loves her dog and binge-watching Japanese cooking shows.

Caligula Revealed

The Los Angeles Art Show is one of the world’s leading fine art events. This year’s show, held in early February, featured contemporary work exhibited by more than 120 galleries from 23 countries.

Penthouse was part of the action, helping celebrate the 40th anniversary of the legendary feature film Caligula with Caligula Revealed — never-before-seen photographs shot on set and behind the scenes by one of cinema’s greatest film documentarians, Italian photographer Mario Tursi.

When Penthouse founder Bob Guccione was producing Caligula, he spared no expense in hiring top creative talents to write, direct, shoot, costume, and set-design this epic, sexually daring film. And when it came to documenting the production itself, he turned to a master photographer.

Mario Tursi was born in Rome in 1929. Following an apprenticeship as a street photographer, he took a job as an official photographer for the Vatican while still a teenager. At 19, he was hired as a photojournalist for Italy’s most prominent agency, VEDO. Rising to the top of VEDO by age 27, Tursi eventually turned to pursuing his deepest passion: film-set photography.

Tursi became the production photographer of choice for numerous celebrated directors of the sixties, seventies, and eighties. Roman Polanski, Pier Paolo Pasolini, Lina Wertmüller, and Luchino Visconti all hired this artist with a camera to document their movie shoots.

In 1989, Tursi won the Grand Prize for Cinematic Photography at the Cannes Film Festival for documenting the filming of Martin Scorsese’s The Last Temptation of Christ.

Before retiring in 2002, six years prior to his death, Tursi documented more than 40 films, raising his camera a final time as an on-set photographer during Scorsese’s Gangs of New York.

While documenting the Caligula production in Rome in the late seventies, Tursi shot a remarkable 10,000-plus photographs. He grabbed shots of A-list actors rehearsing and cavorting, the swift building of ambitious, expensive sets, producers worrying over fine details as filming approached, a sea of extras being costumed, and Penthouse Pets being filmed.

Tursi’s extraordinary images help us imagine what it must have been like to participate in the madness and magic of a film that remains one of the most controversial of all time.

Thomas Negovan is an L.A.-based author and archivist tasked with the new edit of “Caligula” and preserving the trove of recently discovered raw footage. Learn more about the 40th anniversary release of “Caligula” at caligulammxx.com. Event photos: Tommy O

More on Caligula Revealed: CaligulaMMXX, Caligula Rediscovered

Exploring Sexual Health with Cam Girls

Sex, masturbation, naughty thoughts, watching porn, looking at hot chicks in videos … all these things are what make curious men proud of who they are. Exploring these desires is not only fun, but it’s healthy for the mind and body. Sometimes, jerking off can be the perfect medicine for all sorts of activities. Have trouble sleeping? Jerk off. Have trouble waking up? Jerk off. Have nothing else better to do in lockdown? You know the drill.

That cumshot is also a healthy cure for your emotions. Feeling sad? Confused? Frustrated? Impatient? Blow that load.

Since the United States is in quarantine (for god knows how long), the options of remaining sexually healthy must come from within. It’s still not safe to go to bars, nightclubs, or even meet someone from a dating app. But there is still the option to connect with hot cam girls online who give some of the sexiest shows on the Internet. These girls like to explore wild fetishes that aren’t so easily found in the dating world. Fetishes like feet, orgasm control, jerk-off instruction, handcuffs, giant dildoes, ass to mouth, and power exchange are some of the biggest obsessions in live sex chat. The greatest part is that these girls can be found within minutes.

Camster.com has thousands of women from all over the world who give seductive virtual performances online. The site has ladies in all different categories, including Americans, Latinas, Europeans, petite, chubby, blondes, brunettes, redheads, college girls, mature women, ebony, big boobs, small boobs, big asses, and so much more. It’s one thing to chat with a girl on an app, but to see her on the computer screen when she’s already in the mood for some online fun- that’s a whole new way to take pride in sexual health.

Check out some of the hottest chicks on Camster.com and what their best reviewers are saying:

Chloe Rydr

Chloe Rydr

“Chloe is gorgeous. Huge perfect natural twins, perfectly shaped legs, and a beautiful face. She is amazing on group sections, today she climaxed five times in a row.”

Divora

Divora

“Such a beautiful, natural woman with a hot body and even hotter thoughts. A super sexy and very talented performer.”

Natasha Bluee

Natasha Bluee

“Natasha is one of the sexiest models, great body and gorgeous face, stunning eyes and ass!”

Angelica Swiss

Angelica Swiss

“We have done some freaky and kinky stuff in private and sometimes it makes me wonder how a sexy gorgeous angel like Angelica can have such a wild side. Here’s to you gorgeous and many more privates in future. Guys, if you are not taking her private you have no idea what you are missing.”

Madison Locke

Madison Locke

“She’s fun, witty and full of charm, with a smile that will melt your senses, and a body that will have you hard in no time.”

Get your private show with thousands of cam girls on Camster.com …

5 Most Iconic Watches from the James Bond Franchise

Think iconic watches, and then recognize James Bond as hands down one of films most stylish icons. The fictional British Secret Service agent with a penchant for vodka martinis (shaken not stirred), loose women and cheesy one-liners is also known for his impeccable fashion taste. Continue reading “5 Most Iconic Watches from the James Bond Franchise”

Pandemic Horniness You Say?

Pandemic Horniness is Definitely “A Thing”

We’re living in a slow-moving horror movie and the world as we know it is crumbling around us. People are dying, the economy is fucked, and we’re essentially in full cockblock-down. The coronavirus pandemic is putting pressure on every aspect of our lives and yet we’ve never been hornier. Continue reading “Pandemic Horniness You Say?”

Facial Recognition Revolution

The T-Shirt That Outsmarts Facial Recognition Technology

Right now, it’s fair to say that you’re probably at home rugged up in your pyjamas and out of Big Brother’s sights. But the world, when we can finally enter it again, is waiting for us with millions of digital eyes. From license plate scanners, airports and retailers, to your neighbour’s doorbells that companies like Apple and Google market as security features, facial recognition technology is everywhere – ready to track, trace, monitor and commodify your every move.

To push back, privacy-focused academics, designers and activists have created wearable accessories, clothes and makeup meant to disrupt the technology.

Researchers at Northwestern University have designed an anti-surveillance t-shirt with a kaleidoscopic patch of colour that essentially makes its wearer undetectable to AI-facial recognition technology.

Facial recognition software uses artificial intelligence to detect faces and human figures in real-time. The algorithms work by recognising a characteristic in an image, drawing a ‘bounding box’ around it and assigning a label to that object. To counteract this, the t-shirt’s brightly coloured, pixelated patterns confuse and dazzle the technology, making it impossible for the AI to map out facial features fully.

According to Xue Lin, an assistant professor of electrical and computer engineering at Northeastern University, the shirt makes you 63 percent less likely to be detected by digital surveillance technology, but it’s got some issues.

“We will have difficulties in making it work in the real world because there’s that strong assumption we know everything about the detection algorithm,” she said. “It’s not perfect, so there may be problems there.”

From wearable face projectors that project someone else’s face onto your own face to avant-garde makeup and a headscarf decorated with faces intended to confuse AI algorithms, the t-shirt is only part of a growing number of attempts to rebel against digital surveillance.

If you want to research into the facial recognition source, we’ll help you reach Northwestern directly.

Your Name NOT Here

Going Back: Vietnam War Vets

In 1985, writers and veterans of the Vietnam War gathered for a literary conference hosted by the Asia Society in New York City. It proved a contentious affair, as scribes committed to the hard truths of their combat experiences went after Tim O’Brien and other fiction writers for bending reality into something else. Five years before the publication of The Things They Carried, O’Brien laid out his case for more imagination in war stories.

“I think that 200 years, 700 years, a thousand years from now,” he said at the end of a panel, “when Vietnam is filled with condominiums and we’re all going there to vacation on the beautiful beaches, the experience of Vietnam — all the facts — will be gone. Who knows, a thousand years from now the facts will disappear — bit by bit by bit — and all that we’ll be left with are stories. To me, it doesn’t really matter if they’re true stories.”

Hot damn! That’s both a snappy comeback and an artistic manifesto if I’ve ever seen one. Beyond O’Brien’s prophetic vision, though, I was struck by his description of a future Vietnam he and his cohorts might vacation to. That must’ve seemed a fanciful notion during peak Reagan America. At the same conference two years later, Jim Webb, Secretary of the Navy, gave an impassioned speech bemoaning the dangers of Soviet access to the Pacific’s warm-water ports via Vietnam — a geopolitical prediction that did not age as well as O’Brien’s literary one.

Less than a decade later, after the collapse of the Soviet Union and Vietnam’s government went through its “Renovation,” trade opened up between Vietnam and Uncle Sam. American tourists followed, including veterans, middle-aged now, some with families in tow, returning to see what had become of the place that took their youth and their friends. The beachfront condominiums O’Brien had dreamed about became reality.

Revisiting one’s old war region is a tradition of sorts, not limited to the Vietnam generation. Vets like Hemingway became expatriates and stayed in Europe after World War I. Returning to France and the former Pacific theater was an international staple for the Greatest Generation.

When I was growing up, my best friend’s father had two framed photographs propped side-by-side on his office desk — one of him as a young soldier, standing against a drab sky somewhere on the Korean peninsula in the fifties, and another showing him walking the DMZ in the early nineties, part of a visiting political delegation.

Some things change, some don’t. And yet, here in 2020, the idea of one day returning to Afghanistan or Iraq for something between pleasure and nostalgia seems as impossible as O’Brien’s vision must’ve sounded in 1985. Open war still rages in the former, while sectarian conflict continues to pop off in the latter. As for American veterans of the more recent Syrian intervention, forget about it — returns require hotels, not rubble. Much of eastern Syria is still years away from even the possibility of economic recovery like that.

“I’d love to go back to the Korengal someday,” my friend Scott Turner told me, referring to the infamous valley in eastern Afghanistan that’s known for heavy conflict nearly every spring, what the locals call “fighting season.” “It’s legit beautiful there. But come on — what would that even look like? We book through Taliban Travel Agency? Stay at five-star Mujahideen Huts?”

Most of my fellow Iraq veterans I’ve spoken with feel similarly about a potential return. With the notable exception of the Kurdistan region in the north, there’s not much affinity for the place we fought for and fought with and fought against. Recently I had beers with my gruff-voiced friend Matthew Mellina, who was stationed to the same part of central-west Iraq I was, two years apart. “Shit, man,” he said. “Part of my mind’s still over there, every night. Why would I need to walk that dirt again, too?”

Some Iraq veterans have found their way back to the country — as journalists. Nate Rawlings returned to Iraq in 2010 for Time. Roy Scranton returned in 2014 for Rolling Stone. Elliot Ackerman did the same for Esquire in 2017. And Phil Klay only recently returned from a devastated Mosul still recovering from the fight against ISIS. The parts of the country vary in these stories, as do the authors’ intents and conclusions. But something they all share is a strange, perplexed relationship between the Iraq of their memories and the Iraq of their return. And to a man they all went back alone, on a job, searching for clarity but finding only more dark uncertainty.

Resolution, let alone peace, seems as distant for Iraq as ever. Bearing witness to that, and chronicling it, is important — even if it reminds its chroniclers how futile it all can be.

When I started drafting this column, I thought I’d end with some hazy optimistic shit suggesting that someday, maybe, I’ll be able to take my wife and son and golden retriever to the corner of Babylon I gave my youth to, and lost friends in.

But as I thought about my friends’ comments, and went back to the articles and essays of return, I realized that I want to do anything but. My own professional life may point me in the direction of Iraq someday, and for that, I’d consider going. But placing my combat memories and experiences in a mental box and leaving them there is exactly what I needed to do to find a life afterward.

Opening up all that for something as cheap and easy as nostalgia just wouldn’t be worth it.

Matt Gallagher is a U.S. Army veteran and the author of three books, including “Empire City,” newly published by Atria/Simon & Schuster.

**Some 20+ years ago (as of this writing), Penthouse took a different angle on the Vietnam War and its veterans. You might that worth a look too.