An Oral History of Sex Survivor

Sex Survivor sounded too crazy to be true: 30 porn stars in a Hollywood mansion, competing in ridiculous sex contests with names like “Blind Man’s Muff” and “Musical Blowjobs” to be the last person lying on their back.

The house was rigged with cameras that live-streamed all the filthy action to an online audience who’d paid $70 for the ability to tune in whenever they wanted, and vote out the actors one by one. The show’s tagline: “Screw the most, suck the most, lick the most, to survive.”

This was the year 2000, and people were still using Nokia phones and Internet Explorer; the idea of a 24/7 live-stream porn reality show was so outlandish that it instantly became a media phenomenon, covered feverishly in mainstream magazines like Wired. At the time, reality TV was just starting to take off with the first season of Survivor—and everyone knows that nothing is truly successful until there’s a porn knockoff.

Then, just as dramatically as it had come together, it all fell apart. The cameras stopped working, checks started bouncing, and the cast was caught fucking the crew. After the director ran off with the prize money, most of the footage disappeared, too. Although some of it later resurfaced on Playboy TV, it is now almost impossible to watch any scenes from the show.

Nearly two decades after Sex Survivor’s catastrophic demise, we tracked down its stars to find out what really went down, both in front of and behind the cameras.

The Players:

Alana Evans, participant with her boyfriend (now husband), Chris Evans 

Sam Phillips, host 

Steve Nelson, participant and reporter for the website Adult Industry News 

Lianne Young, aka Billie Britt, participant and “porn queen” from England 

Sharon Mitchell, counselor and founder of Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation, which provided STD testing to porn stars 

Alana Evans: My agent, Robert Lumbard, got a big casting call. They told us that we would be secluded in a house doing mini-contests and having sex with other people in the house. My boyfriend Chris and I went in—they teased us a little and said we looked like brother and sister. We didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. The paycheck sounded incredible.

Sam Phillips: I was the reporter on the Playboy TV series called Sexcetera, and my cohost Kira Reed and I did a lot of Skinemax movies and softcore TV. A director-producer named Pat Siciliano hired me and Kira to host Sex Survivor. It’s funny, because now you can’t find an article on it to save your life, but at the time it was all anyone in the industry was talking about. It came out right on the heels of the first-ever Survivor.

Lianne Young: It got really good buzz. It was like the first Big Brother of sex. And it was in Drew Barrymore’s old house! It made CNN, CBS, everything.

Sharon Mitchell: I was running the clinic that does all the testing for porn talent, and I got asked by the company, Metro Distribution, to do all the testing for Sex Survivor. We screened for hepatitis, and medicated everyone for chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes. And of course, we used a standard early-detection test for HIV.

Alana Evans: Once we’d done our STD tests and such, we were not allowed to have sex with anyone else, because they wanted to keep their performer pool clean, and not worry about contamination of STDs from outside. For a bunch of people going into a house, that’s pretty important.

Steve Nelson: [Producer] Michael Caruso was recruiting for Sex Survivor, and I was interested in reporting on it for Adult Industry News. Michael said, “You can come in, but you have to come in as talent.” So I got tested with everyone else. My ex-wife and I were swingers, so we were used to doing it in front of people, but I wasn’t officially “talent” until then. I was able to bring a computer since I was reporting, but I had to leave it in the computer room. No one was allowed cell phones or laptops in the house.

Alana Evans: Michael Caruso was an older gentleman with mostly white hair. He was the one calling the shots, so he was telling us how this was going to go. There were multiple webcams in every room that were supposedly feeding live footage to the website that people were subscribing to. At that point, other than it being live on the internet, we didn’t know what the final distribution was going to be. That was not explained to us.

Steve Nelson: Before we went up to the house, we were sequestered in a motel off Hollywood Boulevard. We were all in a room, getting some kind of briefing. One of the girls had to pee really bad, so she grabbed a plastic cup and peed in it. [Performer] Danny Martell ran up, grabbed the cup, and drank her pee. That totally blew my mind. I think he was just into it!

Alana Evans: After the first couple of days in the motel, we were taken up to the house—a massive, beautiful mansion that sat on top of the Hollywood Hills. You could go underneath the patio and see into this big pool from belowground. There were even windows in the pool and a walkway over it. There were also so many people; it felt kind of like a big adult camp.

Lianne Young: Everything was really well-organized and professional. The food was fantastic, and the health adviser was there, giving us tests. So if we needed B-12 shots, we got those.

Alana Evans: There was always craft services in the kitchen. They had a ton of makeup artists, and they would take care of us. It seemed like it was [catering] to all of us. We had no idea of the meltdown that was happening on the other side.

Sam Phillips: They outfitted the house with 31 cameras and every room had night vision. You could see everything that happened in that house. The viewer would buy a pass for $70, and could just log on whenever. It was basically a 24/7 fuck-a-thon. Every day we would show up and they would tell us the contests they were planning on filming that day. The idea was they’d have the challenges during the day, but if you really wanted to stay, you had to fuck at night. You’d have to be a fuck machine and fuck as long and as crazy as you could. Because if you were boring, you would be voted out.

Lianne Young: You’re working from early morning to late night. When you make a normal movie, the [director] says cut, and you go home and get your check. In Sex Survivor, there was no cutoff point. Even when the cameras stopped rolling, the in-house internet cameras were working. The only break or escape time you had was going to the toilet.

Sam Phillips: One day, I was wearing a raincoat because there was a squirting contest, and it was so we would not get wet with people’s piss. I was just like, “Oooh, everyone’s squirting, watch out, guys!” But we weren’t wearing raincoats every day. We were looking glamorous—we were hosts.

Lianne Young: The “Roman Orgy” was the messiest contest ever. Twenty-four of us in togas, trying to have sex with as many people as possible. A room full of white sheets and naked bodies—it was like walking into a comedy porno. I had to stop performing because I was laughing too much. Once I started laughing, everyone started laughing.

Alana Evans: We were having so much sex, it was crazy! And not just straight penetration, it was all kinds of things. It was complete nonstop sexual activity. We weren’t sleeping full nights because we were always on camera.

Lianne Young: When you’re doing a regular porn shoot, it’s more intimate. That’s what makes a good porno; there’s got to be some kind of connection. When you went into the Sex Survivor house, you didn’t have to have that. You were free to move from one performer to another. There was no direction, and there’s no editing when it goes on the internet. You can’t do retakes if there’s an accident.

Alana Evans: My boyfriend Chris and I were always with each other, and that’s kind of how most of the couples did it. We were also only together maybe a year at this point, so it was all really new and intimidating. There’s beautiful, naked women all around. This is the testing point for any relationship in the adult industry.

Sharon Mitchell: Group counseling took place in the living room. When you put that many porn stars in a house, there’s a lot of drama. The producers were setting up situations and feeding [the performers] alcohol for them to have sexual liaisons. There was one young man who was very concerning. He was very new, and he just didn’t seem ready to do this. I asked producers to have him excused from the show, but they weren’t in a hurry to let him out of his contract.

Lianne Young: I became a mother hen to the rookies who didn’t live their lives as adult stars. I used to protect them and say, “Do what’s right for you, not for the camera.” In my 20-year career, this was one of the worst scenarios because you’re trapped in a house, and you’re not in control of what you’re filming or what the viewers are seeing. You had to be very careful what you were willing to do, and not get carried away, because what you did, you couldn’t take back. There were scared 19-year-olds in the house not knowing what the fuck was going on.

Alana Evans: The first contest was called “The Vibe Off.” All the women were lying next to the pool on different layers of mattresses and pillows. We were using sex toys and masturbating as a group. I was the only one who said, “You know what? I’m gonna do anal.” Porn was different back then. Anal was taboo. And it worked, I won a television! I’m thinking, I won the first big contest! This is great! Whoop! I’ll make it here. But the morning comes, and I get my name called to be sent home. I was crushed. I didn’t understand how I’d won a contest, but now the viewers are sending me home? As a 24-year-old girl, that’s a huge hit to your ego. I actually cried. I was really upset, because I had to leave my boyfriend there.

Then I go home and find out that no one had voted. None of the websites are working—they’re not streaming, no one’s watching anything. Yet they’re still making people in the house perform under the premise of being watched. No one chose me to go home, except for the producers. They thought that if they sent me home, it would make my boyfriend go crazy and fuck all the girls in the house. He was six-four, blond, ripped. They were hoping that they were going to get some really hot stuff. It did the exact opposite. It made him go to every webcam with signs telling me that he missed me and he loved me. He made it so he was going to be the next one sent home, because he wasn’t giving them what they wanted.

Sam Phillips: Within the first four days, it all started falling apart. The next thing that went down was one girl beat up another girl, and [the producers] threw her out and said, “Well, you went against the contract, so we’re not paying you.” She started making a big deal and people started grumbling like, “Are we gonna get paid?” It became apparent that the executive producer was bouncing checks. We heard that the house was going to be shut down and they were gonna throw us out because a check bounced for the location.

Alana Evans: People were worried about what was going on. Who is this man, Michael Caruso? Who is this company? When [porn star and participant] Teri Weigel and Michael were caught having sex in the confessional booth, that’s when all hell broke loose. Michael wasn’t a part of any testing pool, and now he’d just had sex with Teri.

Steve Nelson: Teri’s a good kid. There’s no one with a better heart than Teri. The Teri Weigel scandal was initiated by the producer, Michael. Michael was in the confession booth playing the part of a priest and he was hot for Teri. That polluted the talent pool, because he was going home every night. Really, he did the wrong thing by breaking the rule.

This problem wasn’t exclusive to Sex Survivor. It happens on all sets because you can’t keep porn stars’ clothes on! They love sex, and I don’t blame them. Today, I hear more that girls are like, “The camera is not rolling, don’t touch me.” Back in the day, if there was chemistry, there would be nonstop sex.

Sex Survivor - Full Page Spread

Alana Evans: Teri was crazy the whole time we were in the house. Teri didn’t stop—she was trying to get her hands on everything. But Teri wasn’t there by herself; she had her creepy little husband with her. We didn’t want to have anything to do with them, because he made us uncomfortable, and Teri was a full-on sex freak. We all like sex, don’t get me wrong, but she was just a different kind of animal. So when she was caught having sex with the main producer, that’s when everybody was like, “Okay! Nope!” Chris comes home and fills me in on the complete meltdown. There’s nothing real about what’s happening in the house now. It’s no longer a competition. It’s, “We can fuck the boss and stay as long as we choose.”

Sharon Mitchell: Teri Weigel was the shining star. She wasn’t really a porn star—she was a unique gal, very bright and beautiful. She came from Playboy, and had never been in an arena like this. She was a swinger, and she was genuinely happy to be in a group of people like this and just have sex with everybody. She was getting a lot more airtime, and there was a lot of jealousy amongst the girls because they felt they should all be featured, not just Teri.

Lianne Young: Teri had to be removed from the house, and her husband at the time did a protest on top of the roof. He was going mental, so he had to be removed as well. He was shouting, “We’re not being moved!” It was hilarious.

Sam Phillips: So the contest was no longer live and online. Nobody could see it. Once it went offline, the whole shit hit the fan. The people that were kicked out saw that it wasn’t online and told the people that were still inside. So they revolted and threatened to leave. And the executive producer begged them, if they would just stay and do the contest as if it were actually still being voted on, they’d split the pie between the people that remained.

Lianne Young: We had a proper business meeting to go over the legal terms with the camera people, producer, and stand-in director. I remember sitting in that room and thinking that this show is fucked up and we can’t trust each other, because obviously that happens when someone breaks the ring of trust. Some people were crying, some were stressed.

The director had been fired. There were about ten people left, and we all said, “Look, we have to work together to save the show. Let’s do this game, and excuse Teri going out this way.” Otherwise, millions of dollars were going down the drain. Since we were working together, it was only fair that whoever won, we were gonna split the money equally. We didn’t tell the public. What we chose to do with our winnings was up to us.

Sam Phillips: We all felt terrible. But we all continued, because everyone was told that they were all going to get paid. We all just wanted this to work out for everyone. And if I quit and Kira quit, then who would host? In the end, me and Kira got ten grand, and our checks cleared. But I heard a lot of people’s checks at the end did not clear. They had different production companies all working on this thing, and I heard a lot of crew people didn’t get paid, either.

Lianne Young: I came in second; my check was supposed to be $250,000. I got the original $7,000 [when] I signed to go in for seven days, but as far as I know, nobody ever got the winnings. I dealt with a lawyer after the show, but there was no money to be had. Michael Caruso ran off with the money and moved to Florida or something.

One lesson you’ve got to learn is, if something sounds so good, it can’t always be true. There are a lot of snakes in pornography, and they can wear many disguises. Another lesson is that working in a big group like that can be very hard. It was a mass production, and if you’re not experienced you shouldn’t go anywhere near it.

Because it was new, everyone was on adrenaline. We were doing stuff we wouldn’t normally do in our porn careers. Were the producers taking advantage? I’m not sure. But people are competitive and will do whatever they can to win. I think some of the younger performers could have been easily coerced. In fact, I wouldn’t advise anyone to go into porn these days. It’s one of the only industries where the wages have gone down, not up.

Sam Phillips: It was a groundbreaking event that ended up, y’know, fucking everyone over. It was like the Fyre Fest. Yeah, that’s literally what it was. It was the Fyre Fest of fucking.

Michelle Lhooq is an L.A.-based music and weed journalist, and the author of the new book “Weed: Everything You Want to Know But Are Always Too Stoned to Ask” (Random House/Prestel).

Art by Allison Conway.

Gabby Bianco is our Muse

LOS Angeles-based power duo Smoke Season was gearing up for SXSW, the annual Austin, Texas, music fest, when we caught up with frontwoman Gabby Bianco.

As the 30-year-old musician-producer sits in our makeup chair, she recounts her favorite festival shows — Noise Pop in San Francisco and Echo Park Rising in Los Angeles — and explains the importance of checking the stage mechanics.

“Soundcheck usually consists of me making sure the pipes in the ceiling or the scaffolding onstage can handle my body,” she says. “I will climb or jump off anything. I have a good time onstage, much to my body’s dismay.”

Since forming their band in 2013, Bianco and multitalented musician Jason Rosen have manifested a strong following with their eccentric blend of indie-electronica. “We’re one half Portugal. The Man and one half No Doubt,” Bianco explains, shaking her long auburn hair. “We like to play with brightness—colors, textures, and music. We are heavy on the sunshine. We’re sunny punk.”

In addition to her work in Smoke Season, Bianco recently embarked on a solo project, a six-song EP titled BIIANCO. She wrote, produced, and played everything herself, and enlisted Grammy-winning engineer Matt Wiggins (known for his work with pop icon Adele) to add some magic to the final mix. Bianco says she just wanted to make the music she listens to when she’s “crying, driving, or having sex,” but what resulted is a spectacular collection of chill-wave electronica. We sat down to talk with the up-and-coming producer about her latest project, and what it means to pose for Penthouse.

Why did you decide to go solo with BIANCO?

In the past year or so, I’ve been writing different types of music which didn’t fit with Smoke Season’s vibe. I needed another outlet for these songs.

Smoke Season has always worked with different producers, [but] as I started working on my own songs, I realized they were getting more and more diluted as I involved other people. I took a step back and realized I am a producer! I make all my synthesizer patches, I know how I want my vocals to sound, and I have the vision for my songs. I just needed to brush up on the technical aspects. So, I spent a few months learning how to compress, engineer, and side-chain myself, and what resulted was my six-song EP I completed practically on my own.

That’s an amazing accomplishment.

There aren’t a lot of female producers in the electronic genre. I’m hoping they’re all out there, like me, just waiting to make a name for themselves. Women bring a different perspective behind the scenes. We have a different voice and story.

How do you interact with your fans?

I will sit in [Smoke Season’s] DM’s and talk with any fan who asks a question, especially when it comes to making their own music. I went on this retreat a few months ago where a bunch of musicians were teaching Ableton-based [music software] programs. It was amazing. I’m always trying to teach other people and learn from my musician friends. Music is  a symbiotic relationship.

Who are some of your muses? 

I’m a classically trained pianist, so Tori Amos has always been an inspiration for me. We had similar upbringings. She taught me how to dive into the dark emotions of my songwriting, especially when I was younger and just getting my start. As a producer, I really look up to Moby and the way he plays with sound and percussion. As far as style goes, I love Alexa Chung and Cara Delevingne. Cara plays with femininity and masculinity in such an appealing way. I try to embrace androgyny.

Is androgyny a political statement or a fashion statement?

For a long time, femininity and masculinity existed on a hierarchy, with masculinity on the top. I feel like we’re moving toward a more horizontal plane, which means anyone can slide all over the gender scale and no one is any more valued than the other. I try to lead by example. Plus, this is just the style I like.

Did you ever think you would be posing for Penthouse

It means something different to my mother than it does for me, judging by the phone call I got a few days ago when she found out I was doing this. [Laughs] She was like, “Do NOT show your pussy!” But things have changed—the times have changed. This has been a really empowering experience. I’m bringing the bush back, whether you see it today or not.

Photography by Lindsey Byrnes, Video by JT Photography and Gerald Acuna.

Highlife: Dream Big

Here are some luxury getaways, events, and retreats we are dreaming of this summer.

DREAM GETAWAY: MIGALOO PRIVATE SUBMERSIBLE YACHT 

While some designers live in reality, others, like the CEO of Austrian marine-design dreamers Migaloo, focus on the future and dream big. Very big. And why the fuck not?

Starting with the M2, a 240-foot-long sub that has bar and restaurant facilities for up to 36 guests, anyone willing to fork out the cool billion-plus for one of these can choose from a variety of options and layouts. There’s also the 440-foot M5 for up to 65 guests, the 525-foot M6 for added luxury, or, the big kahuna, the nearly 38,000-square-foot, 930-foot-long M7.

Oh, and the company is also putting out feelers to see if anyone wants a private, custom-built floating island. Their Kokomo island concept (pictured) features a private owner’s penthouse raised 260 feet above sea level, a jungle deck with vertical gardens and palm trees, a shark-feeding station (yeah!), and an outdoor movie theater.

Named after the famous white whale that visits the east coast of Australia every season, Migaloo has detailed everything one could imagine in their designs, and it looks like they mean business.

Now, who has a spare couple billion?

DREAM EVENT: YACHT WEEK

Ever lusted for the ocean spray on your face as you glide across the Aegean on a fully-equipped sailboat, but don’t have a million bucks handy for your own vessel? Same here. Luckily, the good people at The Yacht Week make this a reality for schmucks like us every year.

With beers, beaches, and babes aplenty, The Yacht Week is your ticket to seven days on your own luxury sailboat, which cuts a path through some of the most visually kick-ass routes Europe has to offer (Greece, Croatia, Italy, and Montenegro are the current options).

Excursions are held during the summer months, and you can book an entire yacht for up to 12 people, or a two-person cabin on a shared boat. You can also choose how much you want to shell out, with economy to premium options available, depending on how crazy you want to get.

Each yacht comes with its own skipper, and dozens of yachts make this excursion together, so you’ll meet plenty of like-minded folks—and ladies. The yachts make stops along the way so you can stock up on whatever you might need and/or party at the local nightclubs, and then there’s the “raft,” which is when up to 50 boats are tied together in a giant circle (see photo) and everybody jumps in and swims in the middle.

Between $2,100 and $15,000 

theyachtweek.com

DREAM ESCAPE: RETREAT SEMIYAK

An escape to Bali is a bucket-list getaway for people all over the world (there’s more than a few reasons it’s known as the “Island of the Gods”). This gorgeous Indonesian island is a dream for surfers and beachgoers, and offers an endless supply of temples, waterfalls, museums, and marketplaces. It’s also got some of the most luxurious resorts you’ll ever find.

W Hotels are Marriott’s luxury brand, geared toward a younger age group, and are a hell of a lot of fun (the “W” literally stands for “Whatever, Whenever,” a motto that’s part of the staff DNA–they’re  always on hand to make sure you’re never without a cocktail or spa treatment.) And in Seminyak, on the west coast of Bali, the W is a good place to consider if you want to escape the masses on other parts of the island.

Prices start around $260 per night.

marriott.com

Yacht Week Photo by Famian Wester

Dream Baby, Dream — Love You Some Weird Music

As we hit the half-way point in 2019, let’s entertain the notion that things can only get better.

Fanciful, I know. I won’t bore you with a laundry list of everything I believe is wrong these days. And of course we might not see eye to eye on all the items I’d put on that list. But hopefully we can agree on this general wish: I’d like to see a year filled with music that does more than simply provide solace and distraction. Not that I look down my nose at these things. But in the end, shouldn’t art, in terms of ultimate goals, aim higher than to soothe and distract? Call me an Anne of Green Gables dreamer, but I’m choosing to indulge in visions of big, bold music for 2019. A bumper crop of great songs, made by people I won’t be embarrassed to call “daddy” or “queen” on Instagram.

Here are my five wishes for music—wishes backed by prayer, and, if need be, payola.

1) A funk-metal revival.

Why do you laugh? Look, I won’t pretend this brief, pre-grunge genre was the best musical thing that’s happened in our lifetimes. I mean, I don’t break out my Psychefunkapus cassettes all that often. Like with ska, bands that added slap bass to thrash riffs had an unfortunate habit of shoehorning the word “funk” into their names. It was abundantly silly music that often lacked the lyrical heft of, uh, Red Hot Chili Peppers.

But there was also an appealing genre schizophrenia—a winning duality—that, when thumping in the sure hands of musicians like the dudes in Primus and Fishbone, felt brash and free. Or maybe I’m just bristling at the current nu-metal revival. (For those not following this stuff, nu-metal began with nineties rap-rock bands like Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit, and now…it’s back.) If I’m going to have to live through white people with dreadlocks again, I’d like it to be accompanied by a horn section, not a backward baseball cap.

Incidentally, if funk-metal can’t come back, how about electroclash? Adults in crotchless rompers mixing new wave, techno, synth-pop, and performance art—who’s with me?

2) Ex-wife country music.

It would replace bro-country. Yes, I’m listening to the excellent new Pistol Annies album, Interstate Gospel, as I write this. I don’t have any skin in the “real country” versus “fake country” debate game. But I must say, the fact that the songs on this album don’t sound like Bon Jovi B-sides is a real plus. Also, it occurs to me that since there might be two or three ex-husbands reading this, I should probably amend my term and express a wish for…ex-spouse country music. Songs made by grown-ups that put a premium on living lives where love is believed in, at least fleetingly, and the stakes have real weight. People falling in love, proclaiming that love in front of God and family, and then, when it all falls apart, writing songs about something other than a pickup truck and the Daisy Dukes moldering in the cargo bed.

3) Adult-alienating hip-hop.

I’m 43. I don’t want to relate to what the kids like, because that would mean these kids are fucking boring. I want their music culture to baffle me. More face tattoos! More repetition of catchphrases over synth lines written on Texas Instruments calculators! Hell, more nihilism, if that’s what the kids are feeling. Who am I to tell them there’s a whole world of emotions to explore when the benzos run out? I hope that by December 31, 2019, I feel like Frank Sinatra at a Black Flag concert. Bing Crosby at GWAR. I want to be beaten to death by their skateboards as I sputter, “In my day, we listened to real music—like Tone Loc’s ‘Funky Cold Medina.’” Maybe that’s not how you would choose to check out, but I’d be fine getting ushered into the sweet hereafter by Lil’ Transient A$AP Pillduck or whomever.

4) The Chainsmokers get extinguished.

Remember, this is just a wish list. I’m sorry for this negative puff. I’m sure they’re nice guys (not really), this electronic dance music duo from the East Coast, Alex and Andrew, brown-haired young Americans. Unfortunately, their songs make me think of residual STDs scraped off the sides of a communal hotel hot tub during cleaning. And also, I don’t like them very much.

5) Resurgent music gets its due.

I’m hoping that listeners and critics alike realize that “new” is not the most important thing about music. (If it’s even important at all.) Of course, blatantly ripping people off is bullshit, but I wish for the adoption of a folk-music model. Meaning, if an artist today sounds like an older artist, it doesn’t mean they automatically suck. I’m not interested in getting bogged down in, say, the great Greta Van Fleet debate. True, they are most assuredly a Led Zeppelin facsimile, and just as assuredly are not my bag of frost giants. But if this band did exactly what they do with Zep for, say, Roxy Music or Lords of Acid, I’d be delighted.

People should be able to like what they like, and to see and hear that music in places beyond their phones. I just hope for the palette of influential old bands to be expanded beyond what it is today. There’s a bunch of great, overlooked outfits from the past. I hope new musicians buy their records and copy these bands instead. During this process, as a host of young bands inevitably do it wrong, one in a thousand will come up with something truly original. (By the way, if you do enjoy Greta Van Fleet, I highly recommend you seek out the first album by seventies German rockers Lucifer’s Friend.)

While being cool with familiar, comfort-food music, my ears open to the aural equivalent of Waffle House fare, I also hope, finally, that young musicians—safe in the knowledge that the future is grim—consequently get weirder and weirder. And I hope old musicians use their proximity to the grave as an excuse to do the same. The fact that Nick Cave is now a stadium act, to cite one example, gives permission to other aging musicians to do as Cave does and indulge their love of cabaret and ghost stories. Or consider Lorde, the electropop hit-maker from New Zealand, playing arenas on her 2018 Melodrama tour with opening acts Mitski, a New York indie songwriter, and hip-hop supergroup Run the Jewels. Such things tell young musicians that no industry insider knows anything, and that “pop” being short for “popular” can mean anything, now that the industry itself is dead.

The days of Beatles- or Michael Jackson-level communal experiences are over. The kids are making wild noise on computers, powered by dreams and Narcan. Rap doesn’t even have to rhyme anymore, baby. People say algorithms are the future, and they might be right, or maybe that’s just a thing to tell your Uber driver so you seem smart. Predicting the future is like telling God’s doorman that you’re on the guest list, plus one. It’s all pointless probably, but who’s complaining. There’s nothing — least of all money — to lose, so let’s get weird.

The Rise of the Rubber Tramps

There’s a fireball sunset blazing on the western horizon of Arizona’s Sonoran Desert. As a cool January dusk settles over this ashy plain outside the town of Quartzsite, two hours west of Phoenix on Interstate 10, I’m sitting before a campfire in this infinite land, being initiated into a tribe I only recently discovered but which has welcomed me.

All around us in the fading light, between the saguaro cactuses and creosote bushes, are a few thousand vehicles—our homes. We’re nomads. We’re people from all walks of life, from all over the country, who have chosen to remain in motion and live out of our campers and vans, our converted box trucks and school buses, our road-warrior RVs, and even our cars, the smallest of these mobile dwellings.

We’ve gathered for the tenth installment of the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous, a convocation of highway roamers—“rubber tramps”—that began in 2010 with just 45 attendees, but now nearly doubles the 3,500-resident population of Quartzsite during its two-week run.

Pre-Rendezvous, Quartzsite, the “Rock Capital of the World,” had been known for its winter gem and mineral shows, a desert mecca for rock hobbyists. But for those seated around this campfire, as well as for our neighbors inside or outside their vehicles, it’s this annual encampment that put the town, not far from the California border, on the map.

It’s time for campfire introductions. “Elle, wandering writer, gray Toyota Sienna,” I say on a rapidly cooling evening. More brief bios pour forth from trampers accustomed to meeting others on the road and sketching their lives in a few words.

Julia is a freelance social worker and lifestyle “minimalist.” Easy is an itinerant agriculture worker, father to a pit bull. Brad is an unemployed van dweller. Polly Rose—whom I immediately decide is fabulous—is a full-time trailer tramp. Tabi? A former B-movie actress and free spirit. Jon is a grieving father. Hollywood is a rock hound, an amateur geologist. Footloose and house-free, J.J. and her partner Kevin are classic twenty-first-century rubber tramps.

With the country in the midst of the longest shutdown in government history, we’ve been left to our own devices on this tract of federal land. Not that it matters—America shut down for most of us a long time ago. The coming together, here, of road-hardened misfits shows the increasingly imaginative, and dedicated, lengths to which people will go to be free, in the land where freedom is supposed to be a given.

More and more Americans are living in their cars. I am one of them.

In early 2018, I was trying to scratch together a living as a writer when a friend (who too often sheltered me) passed along YouTube videos of people converting old vans into something resembling tiny homes. Over the past ten years, a new breed of hobos and dreamers emerged from the Great Recession that hit in 2008. Like our freight-hopping forebears, rubber tramps have taken to roaming America on wheels, looking for work, kinship, or simply trying to outrun despair.

My sometime partner, Joseph S. Furey—a writer and veteran freight hopper himself—was similarly crisscrossing the country on his own steam. He offered me a simple, conceptual sleight of hand to help me on my way: You can’t be homeless if you consider the road your home.

For two weeks, this nowhere land outside of Quartzsite is the closest thing we have to a settled living situation. And my next-door tramper, Polly Rose, 63, is intent on creating a temporary neighborhood. Our nightly campfire circle takes place in front of her battered trailer, which she’d unwittingly driven the last 50 miles on two blown rear tires. Polly had taken to the country’s interstate system as a way of cleansing her life, and escaping the elements of herself that she fears she has passed onto her children.

“I just had enough,” she says, rolling a prodigious joint laced with peppermint oil for an uncertain health benefit. “I did as much as I could, and I left.”

Polly Rose ditched her husband’s last name—her wasband, she calls him—bought some new teeth, and rented out her house on the proviso that her alcoholic son could move into the basement. The small trailer that’s now her home is papered in aphorisms and love notes. Beneath her bed, which occupies much of the vehicle, she keeps bags of wigs, tutus, and tiaras, and as the winter sun sets, she pulls out these bags for our benefit.

Every night we gather for the same ritual. We play dress-up, I suspect, so that Polly Rose can learn to be herself again. Around midnight, we stumble from the dying fire across the desert washes to the white tents of Party-R, a disco encampment that to Polly Rose represents a Shangri-la she knows is out there waiting for her.

For others in our lot, the very existence of Quartzsite is oasis enough. Along with its rock reputation, the town calls itself the world’s boondocking capital. (“Boondocking” is a word for camping out in your RV.) Some two million road warriors pass through in non-summer months.

For everything we lack, we trampers are rich in beliefs—and perhaps more importantly, we have a faith in beliefs.

Our nightly campfire smokes out everyone’s life philosophies, wisdom sources, rituals, and theories. People share encouraging epigrams, and speak of credence in the ability to manifest small riches (such as a cheap camper) into being, and the inherent goodness of the universe. Some cite the golden rule. The power of positive thinking. Tarot cards. Mushroom hallucinations to take you into a past life. Constellation therapy. Chemtrails. Gong therapy. People share their views of God, too, if they believe in God. It’s a grab bag of perspectives. When you live on the road, an openness to belief helps keep you going, especially when it enables self-belief. And when you’re living in your car, self-belief is key.

THERE are three types of rubber tramps at this gathering: those who are here by necessity, those who had enough life stability to make the choice to come, and those who tramp as an ongoing lifestyle. The latter are the snowbirds—well-off Northerners escaping the winter cold in RVs the size of tour buses. They populate the local motor home parks, equipped with electric and water hookups, scattered around town. The rest of us “dry camp”—meaning we set up shop without hookups—for free in the rocky outskirts governed by the Bureau of Land Management. Jon and Hollywood have already been out here for months, hoping to find themselves a Polly Rose to ward off loneliness.

The dry campers in our group have nomadism in common, but there’s some variety in our “homes.” If Polly Rose’s trailer is basically a steel shell for her bed, my minivan offers even tighter quarters. The cargo area is exactly seven-and-a-half feet with the back seats taken out. Still, it’s big enough to hold a full-size mattress topper, my belongings, and a portable bucket toilet.

I call my van Dapple after Sancho Panza’s donkey, deciding it’s the companion to Rocinante, John Steinbeck’s name—inspired by Don Quixote’s horse—for his overloaded camper truck in his 1960 bestseller, Travels With Charley. The aging novelist and his dog, a standard poodle, set off in search of the “real” America, if there was ever such a thing.

My Dapple is a faithful beast, which I equipped for the road as best as I could. I studied YouTube videos detailing this kind of vehicle makeover created by Bob Wells, the 63-year-old spiritual leader of trampers and founder of the Rendezvous. Per his instruction, I shaped sheets of silver Reflectix to my windows for insulation and privacy, painting one side black so as to not draw attention to my van wherever I stopped at night.

Further touches for my foil-lined crib are equally practical. I bought bedsheets the color of red wine, boxed red wine itself, cans of mac and cheese, Mace, a knife, and a bottle of extra strong sleeping tablets. An Australia native, I rolled out for a life touring a realm inside my adopted country—a land of interstate highways, strip mall parking lots, and overlit truck stops, and one requiring no permit for entry, just a homey steel vehicle.

Though I’d become a tramp out of economic necessity, I’d come to believe I was earning my living, such as it was, writing about a country I wasn’t sure I fully understood, and I wanted to learn more. John Steinbeck set out to discover what Americans were like at the start of the sixties, his instincts telling him that the country he’d been chronicling for decades was on the cusp of great change. My project was a little less grand: I wanted to explore some of the things about America we weren’t being told.

ON my second day in Quartzsite, a new neighbor joins the fold. Joni, 61, is a refugee from Paradise, California. Back in November, as her hometown fell prey to one of America’s worst wildfires in a century, Joni’s uninsured home turned to ashes.

“When [the fires] came, there were four exit points, and we were supposed to be evacuating zone by zone,” she remembers. “But one of the zones was immediately engulfed in flames. There were embers everywhere, and then Paradise was all on fire at once. People couldn’t get out of their neighborhoods for the traffic jams. They were running out of gas in the gridlock on the roads. People were dying in their cars.”

Joni’s hair is tied back with a repaired elastic; her face carries enough exhaustion for two. A longtime pet rescuer, she was not at all sure, when the inferno came to Paradise, that she’d be able to rescue herself. She did get out, but lost almost everything, and keeps remembering what it was like to feel so helpless, gripped by such fear and horror.

To make matters worse, not only did the federal government give little early help to the survivors of Paradise, but it compounded their grief in the weeks afterward. Residents who had been living in RVs, tents, and cars among the ashes of their former houses were evicted, as FEMA ruled from Washington, D.C., that it would stop funding the cleanup, on the logic that if people were living there, it couldn’t be an emergency.

“I couldn’t bring myself to stay in Paradise, anyway,” Joni says, trying to calm her anxious dog, Angel. “When things didn’t work out at my sister’s, I was camping out in the Cali desert. A friend told me about the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous, and it felt like serendipity.”

Few would say that life on the road arrives by good fortune, but for someone like Joni, it offers something important—choice. Forced to start over, needing to make a new set of life decisions, Joni reevaluated things she’d always been told she should want.

“Consumerism as a way of life—as a way of entertaining ourselves—is something I’ve been very uncomfortable with for a long time,” she says. “On top of that, one of the factors keeping me mobile is that I don’t want to ever have to uproot and leave again if things get nuts. I’m not escaping civilization per se, but I can’t trust a place will be there anymore.”

Joni adds, “The idea of being fluid, being able to move with the climate and the weather, is now the most important thing to me. And I want to see places before I’m gone and before they’re gone. I want to be dwelling on the positive rather than the negative grind of keeping a roof over my head. The fire crystalized the challenge of our time.”

After a pause, Joni shares a final thought:

“I’ve always looked rather askance at the American Dream—I saw it as a trap. Even though I tried to get there, I knew it wasn’t something that was terribly attainable for me. I was around the edges of its trappings. And now I know that isn’t anywhere at all.”

THE  term “American Dream” was coined in 1931, by the author of a book called The Epic of America—ironic timing, since the Great Depression was starting to destroy this dream for so many. But the idea behind the term is one as old as the founding of America itself—this seductive notion that there is equality of opportunity for all in this country, and that those who pull themselves up by the bootstraps can make anything of their lives.

What’s not mentioned is what underpins the Dream—a toxic culture of competition. As I watched the future American president repeating phrases about winning over and over during his election campaign—We’re going to win. We’re going to win so much. We’re going to win at trade, we’re going to win at the border. We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be so sick and tired of winning—I sensed this was something unique, this relentless focus on winning, and uniquely destructive, to the country that was my new home.

The chasms that exist in America—between the races, genders, rich and poor, urban and rural—are broadened by a culture that is obsessed with competition. The great disturbance in American society rests on this fault line between winners and losers—a divide that’s becoming increasingly pronounced.

The World Values Survey, a global research project studying the beliefs of people in different countries, shows that Americans esteem competition like no other industrialized nation on Earth. Americans believe more strongly in the fairness of unequal outcomes. Author and social commentator Fran Lebowitz says there’s an idea running throughout American society: “All people who succeed, succeed on their own, and all people who fail, fail on their own.”

This viewpoint has become a shared fiction on an epic scale. The values anchoring it are as engrained as a verse from the Good Book—a verse anyone can preach, because everyone knows it. But competition, and the importance of winning, create more than just a belief system. These intertwining strands form the double helix of modern America’s DNA.

Historian Scott Sandage views this American way of life as a “eulogy to capitalist identity.” The conviction that there must be winners and losers dates back to the nineteenth century, when entrepreneurial spirit and the ideal of the self-made man spawned a society dominated to a great extent by the values of business and finance. These values have just grown, gotten more inveterate, more layered, leading to society today, where the discourse of finance is everywhere, and we’re judged as people by our credit ratings. Sandage calls this a situation where “the language of business [is] applied to the soul.”

Americans are unhappily locked into a culture of inequality—yet are optimistic about their personal chances of climbing up the ladder. A scholar once summarized Steinbeck’s take on this by saying the writer viewed America as a country of “temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” In other words, the average citizen might not be proud of his or her circumstance, but believes that by pursuing the Dream, he or she will eventually access millions, and financial embarrassment will vanish. Steinbeck, who spends much of Travels With Charley driving around lost, came to conclude that America itself was lost, its culture off-track—but this was an America simply being true to its animating values.

The hope of equality for all has taken a big hit since Steinbeck’s journey. Loserdom is rife in a land where everyone is taught to be a winner. But out in the Sonoran Desert, a community is trying to do things differently. Whether by consciously abandoning the American Dream—or by having slipped into a financial situation where the Dream abandoned the American—we are setting out to define success on our own terms.

J.J., 43, and Kevin, 47, saw both of J.J.’s parents die shortly after they retired. “I remember a week or so before she passed,” Kevin says, “J.J.’s mom was crying, saying it’s not fair she didn’t get to do those things she had worked her whole life for.”

“We thought about what was important to us,” J.J. adds. “What do we want to do in this life? We wound up asking why we are working so much, when it’s just to buy more stuff.” They ended up selling that stuff in Denver, where Kevin worked as a mechanic and J.J. managed apartment buildings, and bought a van they named “Shirley B,” after J.J.’s mother.

“The Dream in the generic sense is this spoon-fed idea we all know, but I still think this country is big enough to dream different kinds of dreams and go after them,” J.J. says. “People express a lot of fear when they ask us what we are doing. Leaving security is a real fear—but it’s a fear that people are feeding themselves.”

Like the rest of our campfire gang, J.J. and Kevin have survived to this point on what small financial security they had cobbled together. But most rubber tramps can only live for so long on savings, other money scraps, and disability pensions. Eventually, they’ll join the tens of thousands of fellow van dwellers on the itinerant work circuit.

There’s now a whole unsung economy dependent on the labor of rubber tramps: the sugar beet harvest in North Dakota, where two weeks of hard work can generate up to $4,000 per person; Amazon’s Camper Force warehouses across the South and Midwest that only employ van dwellers; and the myriad RV parks around the country that give free hookups and small living allowances to tramps who look after park administration and maintenance.

At a Rendezvous seminar on working as a rubber tramp, one speaker notes the critical distinction it gave his life, elevating him from homeless to houseless. The disadvantages of this kind of work are familiar even to some people who work regular jobs in 2019, depending on their positions—the lack of real job security, long hours, and no health insurance. Despite these challenges, it’s hard to find anyone on the road with a bad word to say about the mechanics of the roaming labor market—in part because it is exploitation on their own terms, and that kind of small psychological victory is important.

FOR all of the false promises folded into the idea of the American Dream, however, running toward the alternative provides nothing greater in terms of assurance.

Jess arrives at our camp one night, her eyes large under the vast desert sky, with a physical beauty often rewarded by the conventional world. A dental nurse in D.C., the 28-year-old, stuck in traffic one day, said “Fuck it,” packed her things, and left for the Appalachian Trail. More wanderer than hiker, she later hitched south for the winter.

“I can’t go back there if I drink,” she says, gesturing over the wash with one of Polly Rose’s joints in her hand. “I was rained out of my tent, and this guy took me into his trailer.”

Jess has no money, no phone, and her already precarious mental health is being stretched thin by living on her looks. She can’t even afford to be a regular rubber tramp, and was taken in by a Scottish reiki master twice her age. Our quiet conversations about how to help Jess degenerate with the booze and the desert air. She disappears in a fury.

I can’t shake the feeling that Jess had wanted to join me on the road, if only because I could offer a degree of safety as a woman of similar age, and would ask for nothing in return. I’ll end up spending my last Rendezvous day searching for her, while feeling troubled by the thought that I might not to be able to handle the responsibility of sharing the road with her, and might not be able to trust her. Adding to my fret is the recognition that I was in this desert to celebrate failure at playing the conventional American Dream game, yet here I was falling into the trap of judging this failure in Jess.

IF Jess is unlike most of the Rendezvous millennials here mainly to party, she is no less representative of America’s young people. This event skews to plus-65 boomers, but there is a growing number of millennials—those born between 1981 and 1997—who have taken to the road.

So-called “losers” are not only getting younger, but their beliefs are moving further away from core national ideals. It’s little wonder that in a 2015 survey by Harvard’s Institute of Politics, half of millennials said that the American Dream is dead.

Millennials represent the first generation to be poorer than the one that came before them. The rise in freelancing means lower job security across the board, and reduced access to health care. Those with more stable prospects are still suffering from skyrocketing student-loan debt and housing costs. Add to this the fact that millennials have to worry about the damage of climate change looming in their lifetimes.

Content to “fail” by conventional measures in order to “succeed” on our own terms, millennials are redrawing the definition of a good life. That’s easy enough for someone like me, whose race and background give me an advantage in terms of cultural acceptance. But there are a lot of people living in a situation contained by America’s geographic borders who might as well exist in some kind of nightmare alternate dimension.

Poverty and homelessness are affecting minorities in greater numbers, yet the Rubber Tramp Rendezvous is decidedly white. Julia, the freelance social worker who’d become something of a spiritual guide to our group, is mixed race, but says she’s “white-passing enough” to live on the road. With that said, she adds, “I wouldn’t let my sons do it, though.”

Despite the predominantly white rubber tramp culture, one of its rising YouTube stars is the African-American Ms. J. Ms. J left her job in marketing in Los Angeles three years ago, and now spends her days being paid to drive RVs to dealerships across the country.

“I’m one of those people who doesn’t conform to the norm,” Ms. J tells me. “I tend to try to break down barriers, and not all black people think that way. I think a lot of people know the historical risk of violence from being with white people—those things are still in the minds of people who lived it, or passed that history down to the next generation.”

Not long after Ms. J discussed breaking down barriers and encouraging Americans of different races and ethnicities to embrace life on the road, six California police officers shot 20-year-old African-American Willie McCoy to death in a Taco Bell drive-thru. An employee had seen him slumped over in his car and called the cops. McCoy had fallen asleep.

The Great Recession might have ended for Wall Street, but it has barely slowed for Main Street. Homelessness in America has grown exponentially since President Reagan halved the federal budget for housing in the 1980s, and the economic tsunami of 2008 and its aftereffects only accelerated the crisis in affordable housing.

Just as the Great Depression led to people taking to the rails to hop freights, the Great Recession saw people moving into their cars. Unfortunately, the law also moved with them.

The National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty has monitored 187 of the largest cities, and seen an alarming increase in the criminalization of houseless living. Some 39 percent of cities now prohibit residing in vehicles—an increase of 143 percent since 2006.

“Ninety percent of the nation’s housing is affordable to ten percent of population,” says Tristia Bauman, senior attorney at the NLCHP. “The majority of the country is just one emergency away from a slide into homelessness.”

Bauman recently won a major victory, overturning laws in San Diego that made it illegal to live in cars, in a case she hopes will set a precedent for other cities.

“Laws criminalizing living in cars and RVs,” she tells me, “are usually passed as a reaction to visible homelessness and poverty. These laws disproportionately target the most vulnerable in society, such as the disabled, people of color, and immigrants with families—because, quite simply, they are most likely to find themselves on the streets.”

Cracking down on the homeless usually begins as local community pressure. A home is seen to embody the values of hard work and self-sufficiency, while homelessness is a billboard for failure. But when so many people in homes have it little better than us on the road, when the middle class is evaporating and the working class has become the working poor, I wonder how much of this community pressure is driven by resentment of our perceived freedom.

That, of course, is little comfort to our brothers and sisters who can’t afford the gasoline, or won’t risk the road to go to Quartzsite. As those of us sitting around the campfire raise glasses to our freedom, rubber tramps are being pushed further and further into the margins.

IN ways Henry Ford couldn’t have imagined, the car remains fundamental to the American way of life. This gathering in the desert makes it clear that becoming a rubber tramp means more than piecing together a living. It’s a tiny act of defiance against the stagnation of economic life for those participating in the mainstream home-and-job existence.

Drifting in the trampers’ undercurrent, I traveled some 22,000 road miles in ten months. During this long period of sleeping in Walmart parking lots, grabbing stealth “showers” in gas station bathroom sinks, and exploring backwater towns, I had been slowly losing my attachment to the comforts I thought were necessary to a good life. And even here in Quartzsite, surrounded by a ring of jagged mountains, my eye remains trained on the horizon. To know there is always somewhere else to go is a hell of a tonic.

For waifs and strays, taking to the road is an instinctive reaction to everything that is lacking in one’s life, including opportunities for social mobility, as well as to the rigidity of a normal working existence, and the stifling anxiety of never quite being able to make ends meet. When everything is fucked, you might as well bet it all on Jack Kerouac, throw caution (and comfort) to the wind, and become a part of the mythos of the road.

ON the last night of Rubber Tramp Rendezvous 2019, we try to enhance that mythos, gathering at a central bonfire where we ritually ignite a small cardboard van, an RTR tradition, and sing our theme song to the tune of Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again.”

The crackle, flames, and music couldn’t soothe my troubled mood, as Jess was still on my mind, so I did a final round of searching for her. Our campfire group outside Polly Rose’s trailer appears to have been the last people to have seen her. Someone did suggest, though, that she was hitching west to Slab City, a California anarcho-encampment on an abandoned Navy base.

Back at our own campfire, what’s left of the group convinces Polly Rose to stay on with them for her sanity—and theirs. J.J. and Kevin are preparing to cross the border to Mexico for affordable dental work, as other trampers have done. Hollywood seems ready to resume his days of digging for gems, and his nights posting on Facebook about being lonely.

Just before I roll out the next morning, we get word from Joni, who left days earlier. Her disaster check from FEMA arrived at her brother’s place, and she is about to use the money to buy a secondhand RV. A few weeks later she calls me, ready to begin her new life on the road, with only the hot springs of New Mexico in her sights, and music by Janis Joplin in her head.

“I have the freedom she sang about now,” Joni says during a phone connection that can’t quite keep up with our conversation. She’s referencing a song from 1970, “Me and Bobby McGee,” where Joplin sings, ”Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose./ Nothin’ don’t mean nothin’, hon, if it ain’t free, no no.” And Joni, former resident of Paradise, California, adds, “I’m not going to say that I’m grateful. But I’ll take it.”

Elle Hardy is a writer wandering the South of the United States. She hails from Australia and has reported from countries including North Korea and Turkmenistan, but lately America has her affection and attention. 

Stop “Phubbing”

We’ve all been snubbed before, but you may be phubbed — or phubbing someone else — on a daily basis and have no idea.

“Phubbing” is the act of ignoring the person physically with you so you can look at your phone, and apparently this is a major downer when it comes to intimate relationships. A 2017 study of married couples found that phubbing a spouse was linked to astronomical rates of depression, and dissatisfaction with the relationship as a whole.

So the answer is simple. Whether you’re cooking dinner, out for lunch, watching your favorite show, or just lying in bed, when it comes to spending quality time with your partner, phones should be silenced and tucked away. (If you’ve got an iPhone, be sure to use the Screen Time feature so you can track the minutes spent flicking through Instagram and other social media sites. Then you’ll really see all your wasted time — time that could be spent IRL with the person you love. So turn off your goddamn phone!)

Further Thoughts on PHUBBING

  1. We cannot believe those two paragraphs and a tag line represented and entire article in Penthouse.
  2. We find even more unbelievable that some editorial staff included it for republication on the web site there.
  3. The Pet of the Month when this article published here was Emily Willis. We found each of the following pictures vastly more interesting than anything in that original article.

We once read that the Government spent $600,000 on a study to determine whether or not dogs feel jealousy. They could have simply asked anyone who has ever owned two dogs at once and saved themselves a lot of money. Same philosophy would seem to apply here. If your significant other spends all her/his time looking at a cell phone instead of you, it could we be that you have lost some significance along the way.

We should probably stop talking now, but feel free to run away, run away to more Emily Willis.

Every Essential App You Need on Your Phone Now

You’re not apt to get props without a few of these from the Penthouse Essential App list.

Barstool Sports One Bite

onebite.com<

No matter where you are in the world, this app will get the best slice of pizza into your hand as fast as you can get your ass to the restaurant. One Bite was spawned from a video series hosted by Barstool Sports’ Dave “El Presidente” Portnoy, a guy who developed a cult following for his live pizza-review videos. This hot app not only offers a pizza maven’s map to the best slice in town, but all 430-plus of Dave’s review videos.

SAS Survival Guide

sassurvivalguide.com

This survival guide app grew out of a popular book written by a special-forces trainer preparing you for everything you need to know when confronted with real-life holy shit! situations. The app is your friend when you need primers on stuff from hunting to first aid to wild plants you can eat. It’s kind of like Tom Brown for the twenty-first century. (And if you don’t know who Tom Brown is, then you definitely need to get this app.)

Urban Daddy

urbandaddy.com

The Urban Daddy app is your own personal pocket concierge. Just plunk in what day you’ll be in search of entertainment, dining, or a killer bar, what time, what city, what kind of beverage or food, and who you’ll be going with. Urban Daddy does the rest.

Sleep Cycle

sleepcycle.com

Sometimes it can feel like we’re running on steam and a shoestring. Good sleep is crucial, and we need to prioritize it. Sleep Cycle tracks your sleeping heart rate as well as the quality of your sleep, and even has an alarm designed to wake you up only during the lightest part of your morning slumber.

VSCO

vsco.com

This critically acclaimed photography app lets you edit your images into masterpieces that belong on some thot’s latest Instagram shoot. VSCO is like your other editing apps, but the quality is off the chain. Plus, they have their own social media community to share your work with.

Elevate

elevateapp.com

A brain-training app, Elevate is designed to help improve your overall processing speed, memory, attention span, and more. It’s got a database of over 40 mind-melting games created by experts. Get your cognitive skills back in shape instead of checking your Twitter feed for the eighteenth time today.

My Fitness Pal

myfitnesspal.com 

Are you looking to shape up and slim down? Here’s the best app going for both encouraging you during workouts and tracking what you eat. The vast database of foods makes logging your daily intake simple, and the app also keeps track of recent meals and recipes you’ve enjoyed for speedy retrieval. Upgrade to premium and MyFitnessPal helps you set daily nutrition goals and stay on track.

RAFT

raft.com 

Coordinating your own work schedule can be taxing enough, let alone trying to make that schedule swing with your partner’s crazy life. The most brutal thing you can do to your girl is blow it when it comes to date night, or any other special occasion she’s been reminding you about. Avoid the pain and suffering with Raft, a scheduling app that links up your time tables so the two of you are sure to never miss a beat. Raft color-coordinates everyone’s plans and ensures a fight-free evening. We know it sounds like a big “duh,” but this app is a savior for those of us who are busy as hell and occasionally forgetful.

Strava

strava.com

Runners, cyclists, and triathletes—this app is screaming your name. Strava has branded itself as the social network for outdoor athletes, and for good reason. This app (which is compatible with most GPS watches and fitness trackers) analyzes your heart rate and power output, giving you the max amount of information to analyze your performance. Go premium and you also get coaching programs, live feedback on your activity, as well as a function called Beacon that allows you to share your location and workouts in real time with other users, creating a strong community of fitness fanatics ready to pump one another up all the way to the next run.

Dark Gig: Inside the World of Murderabilia

One of America’s leading “Murderabilia” dealers, selling homicide-linked collectibles from his online store, TrueCrimeAuctionHouse.com, Dodge does cop to a fascination with sociopathic minds — especially the minds of killers who acquire a macabre celebrity for their shocking acts. And he adds, “Anyone who knows me knows I have a very dark sense of humor. Every day is like Halloween for me.”

A level of comfort with darkness is not only an asset, given his business, but a necessity. Dodge travels to meet with prisoners on death row. He speaks by phone to multiple murderers weekly. Then there’s his website, where you can purchase Charles Manson’s clipped hair in a glassine bag, a hand tracing from Richard “The Night Stalker” Ramirez, and an autographed work of art by Dennis Rader, aka the BTK Strangler.

Those looking for an item connected to serial killer Ted Bundy will find a scrap of plastic from one of the green trash bags Utah police recovered from Bundy’s tan VW Bug in 1975—part of Bundy’s “murder kit,” which included handcuffs, an ice pick, a crowbar, gloves, a ski mask, and a mask made from pantyhose.

Some of the goods have an eerie normalcy, like a handwritten recipe for chili con carne from Arthur Shawcross, who killed at least 13 people in upstate New York.

Other tokens include prison letters, autographs, postcards, jail-cell books, goatee and pubic hair clippings, bloody handprints, a playing card signed by Henry Hill (the mobster turned informant played by Ray Liotta in Goodfellas), a San Quentin death-row hot pot signed by Richard Allen Davis, who kidnapped and killed 12-year-old Polly Klaas, and an anthology of haiku poetry that Rader once had inside his Kansas prison cell.

Remember the 2003 Macaulay Culkin movie, Party Monster? It tells the story of Michael Alig, a flamboyant Manhattan party promoter who murdered and dismembered a friend and fellow drug addict in 1996, before dumping body parts in the Hudson River. Dodge’s site offers an Alig foot tracing and a signed copy of the killer’s Wikipedia page.

Each item listed on the site features an enlargeable photograph, additional images, and an information-packed column summarizing the relevant criminal’s life and dark deeds, along with a description of the item’s origin.

In the “Books” category, there’s a 1971 paperback called None Dare Call It A Conspiracy, a best seller pushing the idea of a “New World Order”—a secret society of wealthy elites trying to spread a global socialist government—that once belonged to David “Son of Sam” Berkowitz, who killed six New Yorkers by handgun between the summers of 1976 and 1977.

While Shawcross’s recipe costs just $50, the Berkowitz book, which contains his handwritten marginal notes, goes for $1,666, making it one of the site’s pricier items.

The book’s webpage notes that Berkowitz’s notoriety led to New York State enacting so-called “Son of Sam” laws, which bar criminals from monetizing their fame. It adds:

“The book was owned by Berkowitz in prison. Accompanied is a handwritten letter signed by Dee Channel, Berkowitz’s infamous pen pal. Included is the original envelope the book was sent to Dee in. The envelope return address is signed, Berkowitz.”

Visiting Dodge’s store is like taking a comprehensive, intimate tour of America’s top homicides in the past 40-plus years. All the big-name killers are here, represented by at least one item, from John Wayne Gacy to O. J. Simpson (okay, accused killer), and from Aileen Wuornos (played by Charlize Theron in 2003’s Monster) to Scott Peterson, convicted of killing his pregnant wife, Laci, in Modesto, California, in 2002.

Items linked to murderous terrorists, such as those involved in the Boston Marathon and Oklahoma City bombings, appear, too.

Terry Nichols, who conspired with Timothy McVeigh in the 1995 Oklahoma massacre, mailed a religious book, Things That Differ, last July, and now it can be yours for $185. It was sent from the Florence, Colorado, supermax prison where Nichols occupies “Bombers Row” alongside Olympic Park terrorist Eric Rudolph and Ted “The Unabomber” Kaczynski. Opposite the title page, Nichols neatly wrote, “I hope you find this enjoyable, informative, and enlightening. Blessings, Terry.”

Taking in the letters and books, the cookware and music CDs, we’re reminded that these killers, their crimes ghastly, their sociopathy extreme, are, or were, members of our species, no matter how much we wish they weren’t. We call them “monsters,” understandably—see the aforementioned movie titles—but Dodge’s shop, crowded with humdrum human objects, makes it harder to view these individuals as unrecognizably alien.

It’s an awareness most sharply present when looking at the photos and letters. We encounter future killers in snapshots taken by friends or family. Sarah Kolb, who strangled and dismembered a high-school classmate in 2005, is shown posing with two golden retrievers. On the photo’s flip side, Kolb wrote the dogs’ names: Kye and Abby.

John Robinson, sometimes called the “internet’s first serial killer” for making online contact with victims beginning in 1993, was convicted of three murders, admitted to five more, and might have killed others. In the “Photographs” section, we see a grinning, grade-school Boy Scout shaking hands with a fellow Scout.

Enlarge the letters and you can read them. Again, many are striking in their normalcy. If the info page didn’t detail the horrific murders, you wouldn’t guess the words were penned by a homicidal sadist. Some of the killers write clearly, even elegantly, and express normal human emotions (whether genuine or feigned).

“The holiday card you sent was cool,” writes Richard Ramirez. “How’s the new neighborhood? Made any new friends? I hope you’re feeling better.”

A typed, six-page letter from John Wayne Gacy quickly gets less “normal,” though, as he starts manipulating, lying, simmering with controlled rage, and graphically discussing sex.

A handwritten Manson letter, priced at $350, is jagged of style and thought, has a few cross-outs, and includes a swastika. But, on balance, the letters were not written in the extreme state of mind these killers presumably entered when committing their crimes.

In the “Female Killers” section, some of the convicts write bubbly, unguarded missives, using exclamation points, all caps, and even heart-dotted i’s.

 

BUT what about those face-to-face interactions Dodge has with killers, separated by safety-glass partitions? Dodge says one murderer he’s met stands out from the others.

“I’ve only been truly scared twice while visiting an inmate,” the true-crime collector reveals, “and both times it was with the same individual.”

The first encounter was in November 2017, and the setting was one of the death-row buildings at the Allan B. Polunsky Unit in the boondocks of southeast Texas. Polunsky is a grim, sprawling complex of gray concrete buildings on 470 acres of unincorporated land. It’s surrounded by high-security fencing topped with razor wire, and guards surveil the 23-structure complex from a quartet of watchtowers 24-7. Dodge won’t name the inmate, one of roughly 300 at any given time in this wing of Polunsky, where the prisoners wear white jumpsuits with “DR” on the back, and live in slit-windowed cells of 60 square feet.

The eight-year veteran of the murderabilia circuit has a rule concerning discussion of killers: He’ll only go into detail about those who have died, or those he no longer communicates with. Depending on the convict, he may not even identify them by name. But he will say this about the Polunsky inmate:

“His crimes were shocking, grotesque, stomach-wrenching.”

In the movies, the most famous visit to a serial killer is when FBI Academy trainee Clarice Starling, played by Jodie Foster, visits Hannibal Lecter, played by Anthony Hopkins, in The Silence of the Lambs. Lecter utters his celebrated line at the end of the unnerving encounter: “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti.”

In that scene, Starling walks down a dim corridor between barred cells. One inmate creepily stares. Another says something crude. Even before she reaches Lecter, it’s scary.

During Dodge’s Polunsky visit, he removed his shoes, went through a metal detector, and got patted down by a correctional officer, who looked at him sideways for wanting to visit this death-row inmate. He was then escorted into a visitors’ room, where he watched the clock, waiting. He had no idea what to expect from the guy. Dodge says the fear wasn’t there right away. But he felt a heaviness in his soul from the place’s grimness.

Finally, the jumpsuited inmate arrived. He began talking about his murders. Dodge had listened to killers discuss their acts before. And he’d been reading about murders for years. But this experience was different, he says. This guy got granular, and his crimes were horrific. “What made matters worse,” Dodge says, “was that the individual was not only bragging, but smiling the entire time as he relived his crimes, discussing everything in detail. I didn’t feel physically scared. The conditions in the room were safe. But I felt emotional and mental fear, listening to him. I was almost in a state of paralysis.”

This didn’t stop Dodge from visiting the inmate a second time. And once again, the man began to brag and smile as he went back over the details of his gruesome murders.

Artwork by Heir

AS Dodge points out, there are two questions people tend to ask when they learn what he does for a living. How’d you get into this? is one. The other question raises the issue of “blood money”—the ethics of making money selling items connected to these brutal crimes. Sometimes, Dodge says, people suggest what he does isn’t right.

In response, the collector counters, “I’m not hurting anybody with what I do. I don’t find it any different than what the media and Hollywood does with true-crime content, and always has. And I’m on a tiny molecule scale compared to what they do.”

It’s hard to argue Dodge’s point about the monetizing of murder. True-crime material is everywhere you look, whether on television (Dateline NBC, 48 Hours, Making A Murderer), in movies (Zodiac, My Friend Dahmer, Monster), or in books.

Consider In Cold Blood, Truman Capote’s 1966 literary masterpiece about the murder of a Kansas family in 1959, and Vincent Bugliosi’s book Helter Skelter, about the Manson murders, published in 1974. These are the world’s top-selling true-crime narratives, with millions of copies printed. Both came out shortly after the crimes, with relatives of the victims still grieving. And they made a lot of money for two New York publishers, and two authors.

Tabloid newspapers like the New York Post run wild with murder stories—especially the marquee ones, such as the JonBenét Ramsey case, or that of O. J. Simpson. (Side note: Dodge’s site does have Simpson items for sale, including his Citgo Plus credit card.)

True crime has been a hot genre for a while, of course. Ann Rule’s best-selling 1980 book about Ted Bundy, The Stranger Beside Me, sold millions, and Rule followed it up with a number of other best sellers, while spawning dozens of imitators. These days, however, story-delivery venues have multiplied, from Netflix to podcasts, and they’re monetizing more true-crime material than ever. Serial, S-Town, and My Favorite Murder are three of the top podcasts in the last few years, and all three work the true-crime genre.

Murder sells. Serial killers can acquire a name-recognition factor rivaling celebrities in sports and movies. In terms of monetizing homicides, where do you draw the line? Does Dodge cross it?

His website’s tone is sober. It’s a well-designed site, but it’s not slick, or sensationalistic. It doesn’t come off as romanticizing or elevating these sociopaths. And it’s not like Dodge is getting rich off his enterprise. He says his platform receives up to 150,000 unique views weekly, but the attention doesn’t convert to huge sales, with most of the visitors just browsing.

“I’m not one who glamorizes what they do,” Dodge says simply. “These killers are grotesque, they are unforgivable. I find comfort in knowing they are locked up. But I am also aware there are others like them on the loose, which is terrifying. Law enforcement believes at any given time there are 25 to 50 active American serial killers.”

Dodge uses terms like “artifacts,” “preservation,” and “dark history” when discussing his site. While other people might get nerdy about vinyl records, Civil War battles, wine vintages, or the etymology of words, Dodge is driven to collect and catalog material shadowed by homicide, soaked with blood. He wants to get close to these objects—close enough to touch.

“I enjoy the dark history part of it,” he says. “Murder will always happen, violent death will always be around us, and I choose to embrace and understand death, rather than fear every single thing around the corner. I believe in preserving this dark material, for historical purposes, and for the fascination, the curiosity, we have about these crimes.”

Andrew Dodge

ANDREW Dodge was 11 when his own fascination began. That was when he learned about the Milwaukee chocolate-factory worker turned cannibal, Jeffrey Dahmer.

People have asked Dodge if there was some horror in his own childhood that might account for the way he gravitates toward darkness, but he says his childhood was normal, though he did, like a lot of kids, weather a parental divorce. And like a lot of teenagers, he acted out in high school, and eventually dropped out. He ended up getting his GED, and later received a two-year degree in Human Services.

Jeffrey Dahmer’s story kindled an early interest in murderers, but it wasn’t until 2010, at age 19, that Dodge first wrote a letter to a jailed serial killer, Phillip Jablonski, with whom he still corresponds.

Between 1978 and 1991, Jablonski killed five women, with four of the murders coming after he was paroled following 12 years in prison for the 1978 murder of his girlfriend. During his first incarceration, a woman responded to Jablonski’s newspaper ad and they ended up getting married. This woman was one of those he killed in 1991 during a five-day murder spree. His actions included stabbing, strangling, raping, mutilating, and shooting. Behind bars at San Quentin, Jablonski is currently one of 2,600-plus prisoners on death row nationwide.

During the period when Dodge first contacted Jablonski (a convict known, in fact, for his prison letter-writing), he had been watching a lot of movies, documentaries, and TV shows about serial murderers, and decided to reach out to one. The impetus, he explains, was to gain a little understanding, if possible, into what makes these killers tick.

This quest to illuminate, in any way, behavior unfathomable to most of us continues to fuel Dodge’s collecting and outreach efforts. He is especially struck by the way psychopaths can commit the most obscene homicides and then, in some cases, come home to a wife and kids and eat a sandwich. He says holding a letter written by Ted Bundy or Aileen Wuornos gives a chilly thrill. But to him, it also feels like this spooky intimacy delivers a small insight into the killers. Most important of all, Dodge says, possessing these objects—taking murder tokens in hand—gives him an experience of getting close to evil, without risk to his safety. Nobody wants a serial killer at their front door. His business brings him close to his enduring fascination, without the dangerous consequences.

 

SO how does he go about contacting killers?

“I usually do a little bit of research first,” Dodge says. That includes going into Department of Corrections databases and digging up basic inmate information. Sometimes he’ll call a prison to track down a detail. Then he writes a letter of introduction. He asks how the inmate is doing, and says a few things about his hobbies and “real-life stuff like food, politics, news, TV.” Sometimes an inmate contacts him first, rather than the other way around.

“A lot of them just want somebody who isn’t on the inside to talk to,” he says.

Dodge has now corresponded with more than 250 inmates. He’s traveled to multiple penitentiaries for visits, and has sat down with four death-row prisoners and counting. Among the killers he has visited is David Conley, who massacred eight people in August, 2015, in Houston, six of them children, one of the kids his own 13-year-old son.

Serial killers David Berkowitz, Wayne Williams, and Derrick Todd Lee; Mikhail Markhasev (killer of Bill Cosby’s only son, Ennis); Manson family member Bruce Davis; and Boston mob boss and FBI informant Whitey Bulger, murdered after a prison transfer this past October—Dodge has corresponded with them all. He and Bulger were in contact for some time, and Dodge even has a museum-type display in his home exhibiting Bulger documents and a portrait painting by Tennessee artist Adam Crutchfield. Dodge prizes a Bulger letter complaining about how Johnny Depp made $20 million playing him in Black Mass. The document also reveals that Depp repeatedly asked to visit Bulger, but the mobster said no.

Charles Manson, who died in 2017, only wrote Dodge once, sending a postcard covered in incoherent rambling. Dodge says Richard Ramirez, who died in 2013, had a colorless communication style—somewhat surprising considering this was a guy who, during his first court appearance in 1988, held up a pentagram-inscribed hand and yelled, “Hail, Satan!”

“In our exchanges, he was a very boring man,” Dodge says, adding, “Most of his letters, he would be like, ‘What is your favorite color?’ Or band. Or food. A lot of normalized questions and bland statements.”

Ramirez did get weirder in letters to women, however. “I’ve seen some of this correspondence,” Dodge continues. “Ramirez would ask women for foot photos. If they had children, he would ask about their cup size or what their vagina was shaped like.”

Then, there was the time Ramirez called Dodge and they had their only conversation. “On the phone,” the true-crime collector says, “he sounded robotic.”

 

WHEN Dodge first began acquiring these relics, he coveted a painting by John Wayne Gacy, who was executed by lethal injection in 1994. Now, Dodge owns two Gacys, one of them depicting “Pogo the Clown.” Pogo—as any true-crime fan knows—was the name of the clown character Gacy played while performing at children’s birthday parties in seventies-era Chicago. Sometimes Gacy did his killing while dressed in this costume.

Dodge also owns art created by Cary Stayner, who murdered four women near Yosemite Park during a few months in 1999. “The Yosemite Killer,” as he was known, remains on death row at San Quentin. Dodge purchased the art from one of Stayner’s former pen pals. He bought the Gacy works from the killer’s former art dealer. Dodge hangs the art of both men on his walls—favorite items in his personal collection.

Not every killer responds to his overtures. The six-foot-nine serial murderer and necrophile Edmund Kemper, who killed ten people between 1964 and 1973, including hitchhiking college women, has ignored Dodge’s letters. Dodge knows of only two people who have received responses from Kemper, a man who once scored a 145 on an IQ test given at an asylum for the criminally insane. Similarly, Anthony Sowell, aka the Cleveland Strangler, won’t correspond, though he did send Dodge two pieces of his art, which got this killer of 11 women in trouble at the Ohio prison where he sits on death row.

Other convicts won’t stop asking for stuff.

“Some prisoners can be divas and have ridiculous demands,” Dodge says. “Dennis Rader is very manipulative. He wants you to number the pages of your letters, format everything correctly, and he’ll correct your paragraph structure, your spelling, etc.” Speaking of Rader, who once served as a compliance officer in his Wichita, Kansas, suburb, fining people for minor infractions like overgrown lawns, Dodge adds, “He’s been by far the biggest pest and annoyance of anyone.”

Dylann Roof, the white supremacist who gunned down nine African-Americans worshipping at a Charleston, South Carolina, church in 2015, did respond to Dodge, who wrote him a letter on the day Roof got arrested. But when Dodge posted Roof’s letter, priced at $1,000, multiple media sources ran with the story, and the killer went silent.

“Roof was the first inmate to blow up on my website,” Dodge says.

The New York Daily News contacted Dodge for a comment. “It’s just an extreme hobby, more than anything,” he told the paper. “Everybody’s fascinated with true crime to an extent, but I take it a step further. Some people get it, some people don’t.”

The Roof letter, bought by a foreign collector, is written in a calm, polite style, and seems normal, except for a moment halfway through when the racist killer expresses a concern: “I also want to ask you the origin of your last name. Is Dodge an English surname? Or is it anglicized (?) name of a different origin?”

 

DODGE’s true-crime operation began as a hobby: He bought a murder-linked item, and then bought another. Before long, he realized he could parlay his passion into a business, as there seemed to be enough of a subculture to justify an online store, and plenty of murders to keep fueling his enterprise.

These days, Dodge says a pretty diverse crowd visits his site, from strange fans obsessed with certain serial killers to academics, retired cops, and museum curators. He says law enforcement surveils his site periodically, perhaps working on cold cases, studying killers, or looking to see if any “Son of Sam” laws are being broken.

Though convicts themselves can’t profit by monetizing their notoriety, it’s not illegal for friends or relatives of a killer to sell an item. Nor is it illegal for Dodge to receive a letter written by an A-list killer and hawk it for a large sum. Over the years, legislators have proposed shutting down the murderabilia trade altogether, but that hasn’t happened yet.

The value of a true-crime collectible depends on the killer’s profile, high or low, as well as rarity. And when it comes to letters, handwritten documents are worth more than typed ones, naturally, and signatures, as opposed to initials, bump up the price.

“The most expensive murderabilia item to date that I can think of was Bonnie Parker’s personal Colt .38 snub-nosed revolver,” Dodge says. “That sold for $264,000. My most valuable item is Aileen Wuornos’s robe, which I have priced at $8,500.”

Dodge bought the robe from Dawn Botkins, Wuornos’s childhood best friend, and a woman Wuornos wrote to for ten years while on death row—correspondence later compiled into a kind of Wuornos autobiography called Dear Dawn, published in 2012.

“Botkins received all of Wuornos’s property and even her ashes after she was executed in Florida in 2002,” Dodge explains. “The robe came with two certificates of authenticity. Wuornos wore it every day until her execution.”

During Dodge’s years of corresponding with convicts, and running his shop, he has learned to obey some basic safety protocols. He uses a PO box, for example, and advises anyone writing inmates to do so. He puts the matter directly: “You are always at risk of an inmate knowing someone on the outside and finding you, worst-case scenario.”

He says he’s been harassed online—by a killer’s girlfriend, or by supporters of a killer—for selling an item connected to an inmate he no longer communicates with.

“It’s crazy,” Dodge says. “Especially when the killer is just manipulating the girl. I’ve had problems with groupies for Dylann Roof, Erik and Lyle Menendez, and Sarah Jo Pender.”

The Menendez brothers killed their parents in Beverly Hills in 1989. Pender was convicted, along with her boyfriend, of murdering two roommates in Indiana in 2000.

Despite so much contact with psychopaths, Dodge says he’s only had a few uncomfortable experiences. In 2013, a Mexican cartel hitman, José Martínez, sent Dodge a stick-figure drawing meant to represent the collector in a noose. Along with the image, the assassin wrote, “This is one of the ways I killed people.”

The threat stemmed from Martínez suspecting Dodge of being a cop after he asked questions related to Martínez’s former and current trials. Dodge says he was just interested in how the mind of a cold-blooded hitman worked. He was also threatened by Jeremy Jones, aka the Crystal Meth Killer, a man investigators described as a “redneck Ted Bundy” for his Alabama charm and good looks. There was a miscommunication between Jones and Dodge concerning a Bible the serial killer had sent him.

Dodge’s journey into this netherworld of people locked up for acting on homicidal urges has resulted in a change of viewpoint on the death penalty.

“Before stepping into a death-row visiting room, I was pro-death penalty,” he says. “Now I am against it 100 percent. What these killers have done is horrible and they must pay for their actions, but I don’t view these people as monsters. They are just very disturbed individuals, with different underlying factors, issues, and their own demons, which got them into their predicament in the first place.”

Dodge refers to the killers he gets to know as “walking, talking dark history books.” However, his relationship with Dustin Lynch, who at age 15, in 2002, murdered a 17-year-old Ohio girl, might stand apart from the rest. Dodge calls it a kind of friendship.

Lynch—serving 20 years to life—was back in the news in 2013 when he strangled his cellmate, a convicted pedophile. Lynch carved “CHOMO” into the man’s back with a razor, which prison officials believe stood for “child molester.”

To say, then, that Dodge has a tolerance for darkness is putting it mildly.

Consider, also, the fact that his art collection contains works by a Washington State killer nicknamed “The Werewolf Butcher” for his horrific murders in the mid-nineties involving a mother and two children, sexual mutilation, and the displaying of bodies. The man’s name is Jack Spillman, and he’s serving a life sentence in Dodge’s home state.

“The few pieces of Spillman art I have are some of my favorites,” Dodge says in a conversational tone. “It’s very meticulous work. Spillman spends months on just one piece of art at a time, perfecting it until the piece is complete.”

 

FOR visitors to Dodge’s website, the exposure to so much darkness can be deeply unsettling. At the same time, it shines light on an issue that has always confronted human beings: What do we do with society’s most deviant, violent, destructive individuals? People with psyches so warped they can kill and then go eat a meal. We don’t want to think about these individuals, and we try our best not to. We wish they didn’t exist. But they do.

Dodge’s website makes this realization unignorable. Moreover, it offers a potent window on prison life—a life, a fate, for more than two million of our fellow citizens on any given day.

Some of the items in Dodge’s store might not seem very exciting. A killer’s prison library card. An L.A. serial killer’s purchase order for a new pair of Nikes. An inmate’s visitor application form. But the very banality of these items drives home the grim reality of what it’s like to be on the inside, in the belly of the beast.

There’s an “Inmate Appeal Form” from San Quentin, listing names of numerous death-row inmates, including Scott Peterson, requesting a television upgrade.

There’s a detailed, handwritten letter from a killer describing in precise language how he crafted a “fishing line,” using threads pulled from bedclothes and a flattened toothpaste tube that he then tossed outside his cell. An inmate in a nearby cell, sometimes even on a lower level, does his own “fishing.” If the slender lines with their weighted ends entangle in just the right way, the connected inmates have a way to pass small items.

Stuff like this takes you inside prison life more convincingly than any TV show.

 

AS for Dodge, he recently launched a podcast on his website. He’s already interviewed Rick Staton, a murderabilia pioneer and Gacy’s former art dealer, and John Borowski, maker of documentaries on historical serial killers, including Chicago’s H. H. Holmes (to be played by Leonardo DiCaprio in a forthcoming Martin Scorcese film based on the book, The Devil in the White City). Other episodes have featured Mafia historian and true-crime author Christian Cipollini, and former Mississippi death-row inmate Michelle Byrom, released from prison in 2016 after spending 16 years locked up.

For future podcasts, Dodge has plans to interview high-profile murderers around the country. People will listen. Our appetite for darkness is not going away any time soon.

Artwork by Heir

Art by Alex Heir. Photo of Andrew Dodge courtesy of Dodge.

SiriusXM Host Rude Jude Angelini

To truly understand Sirius XM’s “Rude Jude” Angelini, one must tune in to his All Out Show on Shade 45, Eminem’s hip-hop music channel. From porn stars sampling sex toys, to Angelini’s producer taking a kick to the nuts by a dominatrix, every weekday from 4 to 7 P.M. Eastern is a new bounty of the convoluted essence that is being human.

The 41-year-old Angelini, who hails from the rust-belt town of Pontiac, Michigan, is an advocate for free thought and a regular offender of safe spaces, saying and posting exactly what he feels without batting an eye.

For this interview, we met at Angelini’s L.A. apartment, where we sat surrounded by hundreds of classic records, from Dean Martin to Steely Dan, and talked.

What do you think of our hypersensitive culture now? 

I’ve been doing radio for 14 years. What we used to do we’d never be able to do now—it’s too racy. The millennials that were 10 are now 24, and they have Twitter accounts. But the thing is, most people aren’t bitches. They’re centrists when it comes to these things. But they don’t jump on Twitter and say, “I agree!” We allow a small, loud minority to dictate what we can and cannot say, and it’s affected me in a negative way. It’s kept me from getting jobs. And there’s certain jokes I don’t crack anymore because it’s not worth the headache.

Censorship today seems so toxic to creativity. Like, I’m offended so I want you to stop creating. 

I’ve never seen more close-minded people. This younger generation thinks that if you don’t agree with them, it’s a personal attack. It’s not. I’ve got family members that won’t speak to me because they don’t like the way I talk, because I say whatever I want.

Tell me about Hyena and Hummingbird, your short story collections about sex, drugs, and growing up poor in Middle America. 

I knew how I was viewedI didn’t go to college, I grew up poor. I was looked at as a “wigger.” I was a shock jock on a hip-hop station. So I decided I’d write a book and then it snowballed. I realized that most people that bought my book hadn’t bought a book in years. So I wanted to encourage people to read and to write their story.

My stories harken back to the writers of the 1970s that didn’t go to college but had something to say. I wanted to be the voice of the voiceless and I wanted people who might not write a book to have something to relate to. This is the flyover states. This is the shit town. This is Bakersfield. This is Pontiac. This is Cleveland.

How did you get into radio?

I was living in Michigan, working as a window cleaner. I saved my money doing shit jobs and moved out to L.A. to act. On The Jenny Jones Show, I was the insult comic. Everything that made me good at that show made me bad at auditioning.

The only job I ever got was for the role of a robber. I had just gotten back from Detroit where I had been robbed, so I said everything the robber said and I got the job.

We hear you have a penchant for fine-ass spectacles. 

I didn’t know I needed glasses until I read the teleprompter for the Jenny Jones people. I kept squinting. They were like, “Do you know how to read?” They thought I was illiterate. Turns out I had astigmatism. I wear expensive glasses as a way to signal to people that I have money. Isn’t that what we all do, sending subtle signals to those of the opposite sex that we’re worth mating with?

You’re a fan of Penthouse Forum. Did it help you learn about the ladies? 

Once when I was jerking off to Forum, I busted off to one where the dude had to give up his wife after losing a poker match. I [learned that] I like degradation. I had this downstairs neighbor and he was on welfare. He had all the 1970s Penthouses—that’s why I like hairy pussies. He never left the house except to get groceries once a week and always left the door unlocked. I would sneak down and take his porn and jerk off.

What’s your favorite drug?

Depends. I love to fuck on mushrooms. Ketamine is my favorite to do by myself. I listen to music and hallucinate. But I can’t do everything I like anymore because I broke my body.

Is it true you had trouble getting Hummingbird noticed by reviewers?

Instead of reviewers saying, “This is trash,” they just ignored it. I’d rather them be upset, at least I’d get some attention. That #MeToo shit, no literary people would review it. Finally, there was a woman who’s a reviewer, but I had to sleep with her.

Power of the D?

Yeah. I had to trade some dick to get into the website and then I had to fuck her again to get her to post it on the website. Yo, I’m a grown-up. I understand what I’m getting into. I actually have a disdain for people that fuck for parts and then go back 20 years later and complain about it. You knew what the fuck you were doing. We’re grown-ups.

Jude Angelini at Home — Not Being Rude at All

Interview by Camille Todaro. Photo by Audrey Ma.

Mac DeMarco: Hungover with the Prince of Indie Pop

Mac DeMarco is hungover this sunny August afternoon. But it is the first time in a long, long time. When he invited Penthouse into his home, the critically acclaimed indie-pop star had just wrapped up a summer tour with four sold-out shows in Los Angeles.

“There is a special kind of pressure with the hometown show with all the friends there,” DeMarco sheepishly admits while he brushes his teeth. “Even though it wasn’t a big venue, I got nervous. The first show kind of went sideways. I vomited onstage, I pissed my pants, and I burned some cigarettes on my chest and my tongue. I’ve never done that before.”

To anyone who has followed DeMarco’s career from the beginning, this kind of show is par for the course. Back in the day, when he was infamous but not yet famous, he was known for summoning the spirit of one-man freak show G. G. Allin, once even allegedly swinging from the ceiling with a drumstick up his ass.

Now, domesticity has struck the 28-year-old musician, who just bought a house in L.A., a total fixer-upper that was inhabited by an eccentric gay couple who left an epic collection of porn in the dilapidated basement. Contractors got to work on the house right away, transforming the mess into the adorable white and blue bungalow we’re sitting in today. “We painted it like a Greek restaurant,” he says as he shows us around. “Too bad I’m not a Greek guy.”

After almost a decade of top-selling albums, wild, sweaty shows, and headlining huge festivals such as the Pitchfork Music Festival, Coachella, Fuji Rock in Japan, and performing on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, ABC’s Charlie Rose, and at Radio City Music Hall, he’s taking a quick breather, settling into life with his girlfriend and their new home. Even more recently, DeMarco departed from his long-time label, Captured Tracks, to start his own enterprise, Mac’s Record Label. His first release Here Comes The Cowboy drops today.

Though he seems like an eccentric goofball in person, DeMarco’s music is a radical combination of Morrissey’s emotive melodies with the quirky comedy of Jonathan Richman and a pinch of yacht rock. On his earlier albums, he wrote catchy romantic songs about the things he loves, like his long-term girlfriend, blue jeans, and Viceroy cigarettes. But in recent years, he’s explored deeper emotional territory, even penning an entire album about growing up poor in rural Canada with his (now estranged) drug-addled father and struggling single mother. His fans are obsessive and look to the hoser like he’s a god. And he kind of is. After all, no one plays guitar like DeMarco. He championed a new genre of indie rock for millennials.

Only eight years ago, DeMarco was sleeping next to a water heater in the closet of a punk house in Vancouver, British Columbia. Now he can sell out the Hollywood Palladium in five minutes and has more money in the bank than he ever dreamed of. But that doesn’t mean DeMarco is spending recklessly. In fact, he still drives an old Volvo and wears his undies until they disintegrate.

That’s showbiz, baby.

Photography by Gerald Acuna

Comedian Ester Steinberg is our Muse

Without a personal Muse, life can be pretty boring. Without a Penthouse Muse, life is just sad.

Hollywood’s new “It Girl,” comedian and actress Ester Steinberg, may be a J-Date user’s wet dream, but she’s even more spectacular when you get her in front of the camera. Her new comedy album, Hebrew School Dropout, is available now and (spoiler alert) it’s totally hilarious.

We could say that no muse is bad muse, but that would be completely inappropriate, so we will not.

Interview: Georges St-Pierre

Georges St-Pierre is known as the G.O.A.T.

For those unfamiliar with this bit of sports parlance, it stands for the “Greatest of All Time.”

It’s a huge claim to make about a fighter, and St-Pierre (also called “GSP” or “Rush”) isn’t the kind of guy who would make it. There’s no Conor McGregor-esque showboating with GSP. He has no need to lord his incredible record over you: the 2,204 consecutive days defending his title; the plethora of fighting publications ranking him as the greatest welterweight fighter of all time; the rare ability to not only fight across divisions but to be the best. He’s earned the right to call himself a bad motherfucker, but during our interview, he was genial, polite, even friendly. Maybe it was because GSP, now 38, was older than most champs. Or maybe it was his Kyokushin karate training, a martial arts discipline that emphasizes humility and self-control. Or perhaps years of cage fighting in the UFC taught him that, when you get down to brass tacks, hubris gets you nowhere.

In November 2017, the Québec native returned to the octagon after a four-year hiatus, moving up a weight class and choking out Michael Bisping to claim the middleweight title. The fight, held at Madison Square Garden, was Canada’s most-watched pay-per-view event ever, and had UFC commentators saying it looked like GSP had only been gone four months, instead of years. His decision to leave fighting in 2013 was made partly because he needed a break, psychologically, from the sport he loved, and partly due to dissatisfaction with the ways the UFC was dealing with drug cheats. During his time off, St-Pierre indulged his other passion, paleontology. Yes, the guy famous for beating grown men to a bloody pulp in fight after championship fight is a huge dinosaur nerd.

It’s this multifaceted nature—his fierce combativeness in the ring, his geniality in person, his enduring dedication to such a physical sport, and his geeky love of paleontology—that made him so intriguing an elite figure in the UFC. Was St-Pierre the greatest fighter of all time? It’s a matter for debate. But without a doubt, GSP was one of the most interesting.

We sat down with St-Pierre to talk about what motivates him, what secrets he discovered that kept him on top for so long, why he retired for the first time in 2013, and which beautiful woman, attending one of his fights, briefly made him lose his focus.

What was behind your decision to walk away from the UFC in 2013?  

I had a lot of personal issues. The pressure of always being in the spotlight and being criticized—it really got to my head to the point it was driving me a little bit crazy. I was developing anxiety and so, for my own health—for my mental health—I needed to leave. Also, I had problems with the UFC and their drug-testing policy. I knew a lot of people were cheating. It had been bothering me for a long time. I was carrying this with me for a long time, fighting and trying to perform and it was starting to affect my performance.

What inspired you to get back in the ring?

When I left, I never said I was retired, because I thought I wanted to come back if changes were made. Now, with the USADA [U.S. Anti-Doping Agency], the sport is cleaner. Also, I wanted to come back to do something special, to do something unique. Something that would be different from what I was doing in the past.

Fighting for the middleweight title interested me. I always received a lot of criticism from the fans. They said I didn’t finish fights, that I fought surgically, that I didn’t take enough risks and never went up a weight class. So, I wanted to shut up these three criticisms in one fight and that’s why I came back. I was very hungry for that fight. I came back and it was a good night for me.

You were only the fourth fighter in UFC history to be a multidivision champion. I get the idea you don’t like to be told you can’t do something.

If someone says you can’t do something, that’s when you need to do it. It’s a rare achievement, so that’s why I wanted to do it. I did it for myself. A lot of people do it for other people, but I wanted to do it for myself, for my own legacy, to be able to know that I did it.

Being a champ and having a belt—what does that mean to you?

The belt, the name…it’s more of a symbol. To be honest with you, the more experienced I became, I realized there is no strongest man in the world. This doesn’t exist. When you have a belt, most people, for them, it means, “Oh, I’m the most bad-ass man in the world.” It’s not true. Maybe the baddest man in the world is sitting on his couch eating popcorn, you know what I mean? You’d never know. The more experienced you are, you realize what it means. Winning a belt just means on that night, at that particular moment, you beat that guy. You were better than that guy. It doesn’t mean you’re better than all the other guys. Or it doesn’t mean that the guy you beat that day won’t beat you another day.

So a lot of things changed as I matured. When you’re young, you want to be known as the “baddest man,” and when you get older, you realize [they’re] just symbols. I wanted to do it for myself and to have the belt. It was a great achievement, but for me it doesn’t mean the same thing that it means for a lot of the people.

What do you say to those who argue MMA is too violent?

It’s very dangerous. When people say, “It’s a barbaric sport, I don’t like it, I don’t want to watch it,” they’re right that it’s a barbaric sport. Like boxing is a barbaric sport. Like American football is a barbaric sport. Rugby is a barbaric sport. But you know what, I love it. I did it and I grew up on it. It’s just a different form of entertainment and people have different tastes for different things.

I think everybody secretly loves it. I had a girlfriend that said she hated it, but every time the fight started she’d be glued to the screen.

Dana White once said something I thought was very clever. Say you’re at a football match or a rugby match, in the seats, watching the match, and a fight breaks out in the crowd. Everybody will stop watching the match and start watching the fight in the crowd.

Because it’s part of our nature. It’s part of who we are. I can put anybody in a situation where he will have to fight. It can be my mom, who is the nicest human being, but I can put her in a situation that she would have to fight to defend herself or defend the people that she loves. Everybody can relate to that, that’s why it is so popular.

You were talking about the psychological pressures of fighting. How do you deal with that aspect of the sport?

That’s a very important aspect to fighting, and it applies to every sphere of life—sport, business, when you ask a girl on a date. It could be anything. In my sport, there are skills and there is confidence. Some people have the skills, but they don’t have the confidence. It’s like having money in the bank without spending it.

Other athletes have the confidence but don’t have the skills. It’s like a dream that can never be achieved. That’s what my trainer, John Danaher, would say to me and it was very, very smart: “The key is to have the skills and the confidence.” That’s what makes a good athlete. You need both. For example, Michael Jordan. Michael Jordan started acting like a champion before he became a champion. LeBron James, same thing. Tiger Woods in golf, same thing. Every actor—Arnold Schwarzenegger—same thing. They have that kind of confidence. Confidence is sort of a mental game. Confidence is a choice you can work on.

I wasn’t always that confident before a fight, but I could work on it. I had tricks I used to make myself confident, so when I went into the fight, I could pretend that I was confident, even if I wasn’t. I became confident using these tricks. And confidence is very important for a fighter, important for a businessman, important for everything you do in life. Because when you do something, you need to have trust that when you do it, you can do it 100 percent, no reservations, and confidence is a big part of that.

Who do you view as the top fighters in those middle divisions?

MMA is a sport in constant evolution. Someone could be good today and in six months, there’s going to be another guy who’s going to come out of nowhere, do something incredible, and he will be the guy to beat. He will be hyped up as the best-ever, so we never know. Right now, I like Khabib [Nurmagomedov]. He’s incredible. He’s an amazing fighter. But I’ll also go back to something I said earlier. It’s not necessarily the best fighter who wins a fight. It’s the fighter who fights best the night of the fight.

You’ve been called “The Greatest of All Time” and you’ve spoken about your true loves and what excites you—women, dinosaurs, and fighting. So I’ve got three final questions. First, who’s the greatest woman of all time?

Greatest woman of all time? My God, that’s a hard question. I’ll mention one very beautiful woman, Cindy Crawford. I remember she came to one of my fights and I saw her in the crowd and lost focus for a second. I think she’s amazing.

Obviously, now we need to know the greatest dinosaur of all time.

For me, it’s the Tyrannosaurus. T. rexes had the best olfactory senses of all the dinosaurs. That means a blind T. rex could still find you. The T. rex didn’t need his eyes to hunt. That’s something people don’t know. The T. rex was an amazing creature.

Sounds terrifying. Last one: Who’s the greatest fighter of all time?

That’s hard to say. Like I said, it doesn’t exist. We can just pile up the achievements of the athlete. And the sport constantly evolves. The fighters of today are better than the fighters of yesterday, and it goes on like this. Someone can be good today, but in ten years there are going to be guys that are better. That’s what I believe—that records are meant to be broken.