We Whistle While We Work
Dear Leah, My boyfriend and I live together, and we have a great sex life — with one catch. He loves to come inside me, and I can’t help but get grossed out by it. If we fuck in the morning, I feel his load leaking out of me the rest of the day, and my undies are a disaster at work. I know it’s how nature intended it and blah blah blah, but it just seems yucky! Am I being a neat freak? Have you ever heard anyone else complain about this?
I hope you’re on some birth control, girl! Your sex life sounds lit, though. Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous. I don’t think you’re being a neat freak…no one likes having gooey, wet underwear on. Gross! Maybe you can talk to him and make certain days of the week a no-cream-pie zone. Communicate with him! OMG — I have the best idea ever. Why don’t you tell him you want to taste him because it turns you on and make him pull out and come in your mouth instead!? I think that’s HOT AF. Don’t you? And if you hate the taste of semen then just hold your breath and run to the bathroom afterward to spit it out. Lay out some ground rules and tell him busting loads inside is for evening sex only, not morning sex. Just come up with some hot alternatives to suggest to him and I’m sure he will totally go along with it.
Hey Leah, I know most of your questions come from women, but screw it, I’m a guy and I want a definitive answer on this. Some of the women I date want me to be completely hairless, while others tell me they like me to barely groom my body hair at all. On the body-hair spectrum, I’m right in the middle: I’ve got some chest hair, but it’s not like my back is covered with fur. Do women expect me to shave my taint? My butthole? I feel like all the hairless men in porn are ruining things for us slightly hairy, average-height and average-cock-sized men. Adam
Hi Adam, I totally hear you. Porn can sometimes set unrealistic expectations for both men and women. I mean, there is an entire generation (or two) of men who think women love having come all over their face. Or that we all can take nine-inch dicks in our butts no problem…and love every second of it! Crazy right? Anyway, you should have the amount of hair on your body that YOU are comfortable with. Look, it’s nice to take your partner’s preference into account, but it’s really on you. I’ve dated hairy and hairless men. It’s not like it changes the size of their dicks, so it’s not a big deal either way. I do like some grooming around the balls, of course. No one wants pubes stuck in their teeth. I prefer a hairy back over hairy balls. If you can make a woman climax, chances are she won’t be thinking much about your body hair. I would say, focus less on your hair and more on your orgasm-making skills. Hope that helps!
Hi Leah. I’m dating a man who’s hot and extremely charming. He comes from a successful family so he’s got nothing to worry about, money-wise. The catch? He’s full of shit. Without saying too much, he’s a well-known personal chef whose sells his high-end clients on a philosophy that he’s admitted to me is total bullshit. So basically, he lies to his customers for a living, and acts all holier-than-thou about it to the outside world, too. Can I stay with a guy who scams for a living, or should I just admire him for his hustle and deal with it? Amber
“Porn can set unrealistic expectations for both men and women. There’s an entire generation of men who think women can take nine-inch dicks in our butts no problem…and love every second of it!”
Yikes. This scares me a bit. If his whole life is based on a lie, then how do you know he’s being honest about his feelings or pretty much anything regarding you and your relationship with him? Did you know sociopaths also happen to be very charming? I would rather have broke with integrity than successful and full of shit. But that’s just my personal opinion. I would start looking through your man’s phone, e-mails, etc. Maybe even hire a private detective to follow him around. You want to make sure his job is the only area of his life he’s living a lie about. This is not being crazy, this is being careful. And there is a difference. If I were you, my main concern would be making sure he isn’t fucking a bunch of chicks or hiding a family somewhere. If it turns out he’s true to you and only bullshitting his rich clients, I say let him lie and respect his hustle.
Hey Leah! I’m 27 and I’ve been in some pretty good relationships, but I’m really smart and independent and men tend to want to control me and it drives me crazy. Anyhow, I’ve chosen to use a sperm bank, and even though my gynecologist thinks I’m crazy, I wanted to know what your advice would be on choosing to do this alone. Do you have any opinions on sperm banks in general? Deep down, I feel like I’d be unable to coparent with a man, as I have been drugged and assaulted by a man. I feel like my trust for men is gone. Jess
Jess, I admire your independence and bravery to think and be different. I have always been co-parenting. There was never a time I was a single mom with no help. And honestly, I couldn’t have done it alone. I also had a full-time nanny and help from my mom. And it was still challenging and continues to be. That said, the gift of motherhood is priceless and I encourage all smart people to procreate! But know what you’re getting into. Do you have any nieces or nephews or friends with kids? Have you spent time with kids? Do you have family that lives nearby and can help? You know the saying “It takes a village”? It truly does! Do you get paid maternity leave from work? I’m sure you’ve thought about all these things, but if you haven’t then you must. I don’t know anything about sperm banks, so I can’t really comment on that. I would say the best thing is to find women who’ve decided to go this route and make them your mentors. Talk to them. They have the answers because they’ve been through it. No one else will truly be able to give you insight unless they’ve walked that path. Much love to you, Jess!
