Anastasya the Hooker

The Hooker MBA

She’s a self-made. self-employed woman who earns upwards of $400,000 a year and is an expert at selling, marketing, and pricing her product. She understands the process of limiting supply in order to generate demand, instinctively maximizes profits, and has perfected the art of mixing business with pleasure. During one memorable 24-hour period, she made $40,000 from a trio of clients and has generated $200,000 in revenue from a particularly devoted customer over the course of 18 months.

Now, that’s selling!

The person we’re talking about is a Las Vegas-based call girl we’ll call Anastasya, who cannily applies modern business concepts to the world’s oldest profession. Here are her tips for making the most of monkey business — or really any business.

Hooker Tip #1 — Become the Source

“Why would I want someone to be in touch with my clients, representing me, when I can represent myself in the best possible way? Plus, by cutting out the middleman. I make more money and reduce the potential for confusion. For example, I’ll show up, and, based on what somebody else has said, a client expects me to do anal. Well. I don’t do anal. So that can be a problem Beyond that, for the gentleman’s sake, the fewer hoops he has to jump through, the more natural it feels. He wants our encounter to be a girlfriend experience as opposed to a business transaction. I can make sure that he gets what he wants.”

Rather than focusing on middlemen who can market or distribute your product, do it yourself. This entrepreneurial approach carries more risk and is more time-consuming, but it promises a bigger payoff. Use charm, creativity, advertising, and previously established credibility in order to build up customers who rely on the superior product or service you provide. And remember to compensate those friendly folk who help you along the way.

Anastasya has laid the groundwork for her independence by eschewing pimps and the legal brothels that spot Carson City, Nevada. Although those places have their advantages (you won’t get busted for soliciting), they take 5O percent of each girl’s earnings. Anastasya has no interest in giving up that big a chunk of her profits. Indeed, she prefers to be wholesaler and retailer.

In order to generate business, Anastasya advertises in old media (the back pages of Las Vegas Weekly) as well as new media (Craigslist.com and TheEroticReview.com). She also relies on referrals from past customers and networks. New clients come from Iimo drivers, fellow working girls (in exchange for a 10· to 15-percent commission), and VIP hosts (casino employees who wrangle big gamblers and need to keep them happy). “The last time I did an all-nighter, the gentleman’s host came with us, and she handed me her card,” says Anastasya. “Not long after, she called me for one of her high rollers. I made $4,000 and tipped the host $500. That’s good money for everybody.”

Hooker Tip #2 — Know How Hard to Push

“First thing I ask a gentleman is where he got my name from. That way I know if it’s off of Craigslist or The Erotic Review, or somewhere else altogether. It tells me what he expects to spend. Erotic Review has a lot of information from clients who have paid me $1,500 — so somebody calling via Erotic Review already knows the price. On the other hand, if I tell somebody that the price is $1,500 and he says it’s kind of high, I suggest that we meet fora drink and figure it out. Men love meeting for drinks. If they negotiate a lower price, I try to raise it up in the hotel room. But I am flexible. If I have a regular who normally pays $1,200 but only has $800, and really wants to get laid, I’ll do it to keep him as a client. Next time, though, it will be $1,200. Maybe in exchange for the discount, I’ll get him to post a review or pay my cellphone bill.”

Whether you’ re negotiating for a new salary or trying to convince a client that he needs to spend more, quick thinking is essential. Anastasya likes to charge $1,500 for an unhurried hour or two of full service. But not everybody is willing to fork it over, so she’s flexible (“Hand jobs are $500. Titty-fucking is $750.”) and creative. During a slow week in Vegas, when the only convention in town was for low-rolling furniture-builders, she hooked up with a friend and sold girl-girl shows for small groups rather than full-on sex (which the market would not bear at her prices). “I like girls, so It was fun for me,” she says. “I made at I east $400 an hour and didn’t have to touch any of the guys.”

That said, she presses for max payments but recognizes that it’s all relative. “When somebody calls me from a cellphone. I look at the area code and get an idea as to where the gentleman lives. A guy from 415 [San Francisco) will probably be willing to spend more than a guy from 416 [Toronto). Then I ask where he’s staying and what he’s in town for. If he’s at the Wynn Las Vegas hotel on business, we’re starting at $1,500 and I’m selling full service.”

Once Anastasya is in a client’s room, with an initial price settled on, demand for her product suddenly spikes. That Is when the negotiating begins in earnest. ’’If I’m giving a guy a blowjob, and that is all he paid for. I keep my panties on. If he wants them off, I tell him that he has to kick it up, money-wise. Then, once we’ve gotten to that point, if he wants to touch me, I wiggle away a little. He says that I’m a tease. I say that he needs to be more generous.”

Hooker Tip #3 — Always be Selling

“You never know when an opportunity will come up. And I am always aware of that. I have a sort of radar that keeps me conscious of the men around me. When I’m out In my regular life and a guy Is staring, I’ll walk over and introduce myself. No problem. It helps that I’m naturally friendly and outgoing. Let’s say I am at a casino valet, or a supermarket, or a car wash: I start talking to a guy and he asks me what I do for a Irving. I tell him, ‘I’m a dancer.’ He asks where I dance and I say, ‘Wherever you want me to.’ Then the guy usually says, ’Oh. You’re that kind of dancer?’ I say, ’Yeah, I am.’ I have those conversations all the time.”

Whenever you make a phone call or walk out the door, you have an opportunity to sell — whether it’s a product. an idea, or yourself. But before doing that, you need to find your point of differentiation. Be able to concisely explain why the people who count should pay attention to you. Just remember not to cross the fine line between being interesting and being pushy.

Anastasya has enough sex appeal that her target audience is Inclined to buy. She increases the likelihood of closing the sale by handing out business cards, text messaging 1,000 or so regular customers with some variation of “Good morning, honey,’’ and always dressing In a manner that accentuates her best assets — whether she’s gambling on the Strip or shopping in the supermarket.

“I maintain spreadsheets on everybody’s likes and dislikes and fantasies. I may not know a client’s birthday, but I know if he enjoys it when I rub his balls.”

Additionally, she regularly embarks on marketing expeditions that exist for the sole purpose of stirring up new business. She goes to Tryst nightclub at Wynn on Thursdays (it’s the hot night there and helps her get booked for the weekend), covers the local market by cruising Monday Night Football at the Palms. and rarely misses a high-profile boxing match. “Guys hit on me all the time, and my goal Is to turn every one of them into clients,” she says. “Some women see an older gentleman staring and they say, ‘Eeew.’ My response is, ‘Ooooh, that guy wants to give me money. Maybe I should go over and buy him a drink.’”

Hooker Tip #4 — Money Isn’t Everything

“Anything that takes care of financial responsibility for me is payment. If a gentleman wants to post money to my Victoria’s Secret account, I’ll take that. Other times I take Visa gift cards {that high rollers get as gifts) from the casinos. Sometimes you do better that way. When clients pay me in cash, it can limit my upside. On the occasion when a guy wants to take me to Gucci or Ferragamo. I know I’ll get more than what he’d have paid me in cash. Some guys don’t want to pay outright. They claim that they don’t pay for sex, so this Is a way around that. A lot of men like the idea of being seen walking around with me, spending a lot of money. And if a guy’s not comfortable going to Gucci, I say, ’Okay, let’s go to Best Buy and get a flat-screen.’ Every guy Is willing to do something. You Just need to be creative about what that thing Is.”

Big fat checks are nice. but cash Is not the only form of remuneration. Supplementing your income with barter can be lucrative and life-enhancing. This form of payment is popular enough that companies such as YouExchange.com and BarterltOnhne.com exist for the sole purpose of bringing together different businesses.

Anastasya happily barters for anything and everything. Thus far she’s managed to swap sex for a $3,000 Loro Piana handbag, loads of designer clothing, and a 550 Mercedes-Benz. (When she told a smitten client that she needed a car, he gave her his nearly new Benz; she sold It for $70,000.) Guys have paid her college loan and taken her shopping. But, she warns, if you’re In a particularly appealing business, price the goods you offer at wholesale. “An executive from 7 Jeans gives me $1,000 worth of pants, and I knock $500 off the price of service.” she says. “I refuse to value it at full retail. After all. the guy got the merchandise for free.”

Hooker Tip #5 — Calculate Risk. Curtail Volatility.

“Hell yeah, there is risk. The number one risk Is the police. I try to cut that out by picking the gentleman rather than letting him pick me. Vice comes right up to you and tries to get you to go upstairs immediately. They don’t waste any time. They’re often nasty right from the start. They want to get you saying as much as they can, so I generally talk about money as little as possible. I don’t like talking about how I can use my mouth to put a condom onto a guy’s penis. Gentlemen act like gentlemen. Vice cops do not. They usually dress in no-name jeans and untucked button-down shirts. They immediately offer $1.000 to do it In the ass. To me, that does not sound very safe.”

It Is virtually impossible to be in any kind of money-making enterprise without taking on a certain amount of risk. This is true whether you’re an attorney working for a piece of the settlement, or a banker negotiating loans, or a pipe fitter who needs to assess the downside of a shortcut compared to the hours it will save. One key to being successful is to be able to quantify risks. Figure out the ones that are worth taking and think through the negatives before taking chances.

In Anastasya’s case, her risks are not financial so much as they involve time consumption, wear and tear on her body. and the ever-looming prospect of getting busted. Like a lot of smart business people, she recognizes the worth of sacrificing profit to reduce risk. “I’d rather do one all-night session for $2,500 than take a shot at four one-hour sessions for $1,500 each.” After all, she explains, every time she steps in an elevator, she has the potential to rankle casino security; whenever she meets with a new client, there is a chance that he will be an undercover cop. On a purely mathematical level, she reduces volatility by giving up a chunk of potential profit over the course of a given night.

As a side benefit of playing it safe, overnight customers are more likely to become repeat customers (integral for success in any field). And that, too, takes some of the gamble out of Anastaysa’s work. She knows that a repeat customer is not a cop and he will probably buy an extended session, which translates into more money.

Recognizing the value of regulars-and grateful for the safety they provide — she keeps favored clients happy by throwing in special treats: “Sometimes I’ II surprise a gentleman by bringing along a second girl. He doesn’t ask for her, and he doesn’t pay for her. I pay the girl out of my money. I can be very personable. I maintain spreadsheets on everybody’s likes and dislikes and fantasies. I may not know a client’s birthday, but I know if he enjoys it when I rub his balls.”

Hooker Tip #6 — Follow the Cash

“You have to respect the seasonality and economies of various places. I find out from clients about award shows and conventions in other cities where the right kinds of men will be present. Anywhere there is a huge swarm of men, that is where I want to be. Staying in Vegas all the time is no way to leverage profits. During summers in Vegas, I’d spend a lot of time fucking locals and charging them less. I do a lot better in the Hamptons or Saint-Tropez.”

Devote your business life to selling snow shovels and the market is obvious. Opt for something more dynamic, however, and your profit center keeps changing. Smart people track markets and analyze information to find locales with new, untapped opportunities.

It can be as simple as keeping up on parallel businesses that are suddenly thriving in certain areas. One trick here is to establish trusted sources who can clue you in on the information before your competitors have it. Anastasya does this by cozying up to taxi drivers who provide her with copies of tip sheets, put together by the Las Vegas Visitors Bureau that reveal casinos where conventions are being held (so that drivers know where they’ll be needed). She also maintains hotel-based sources who keep her abreast of occupancy percentages. After all, the busier a casino is, the likelier she will be to find customers there.

When things really slow down. Anastasya does what every smart business person does: She seeks fresh territories — often with the help of a call-girl network she has cultivated. In her case, the hot spot is usually Miami, San Diego, or Dallas. (“Dallas is ridiculous,” she says. “I make 60 grand there in six weeks. but I don’t really like the city.”) She hits Hawaii for the Pro Bowl, goes wherever the NBA All-Star Game happens to be, and touches down in Indianapolis during Biker Week. Still, there’s no place like home: “The Professional Bull Riders Championship in Vegas is the best. Cowboys are fun, they’re not cheap, and they love big-titted girls.”

It should not really surprise anyone that at least some of us around here know a lot of hookers. And in keeping with the theme today, most of them tend to be happy. Maybe not Xaviera Hollander happy, but more realistic these days, and over all confident in their own direction and life choices. Many do not like men all that much, perhaps, but if more men knew how to treat the business relationship with them, maybe that would change. Some guys really need to learn the difference between orgasms and love.

Anna Lisa Travel Time

Anna Lisa on with Life

The lockdown in 2020 (due to the COVID_19 pandemic) offered me the opportunity for some much needed time to myself, and with that, I carved out a lovely home behind the camera as a self portrait artist and film photographer. The nostalgia of film has always intrigued me, and I love being able to incorporate what I’ve learned over the course of my modeling career into my photography work. My first official exhibition showcased a small collection of my self portraiture work which I shot exclusively on Polaroid film.

2021 was the year I grew my online platforms into something I’m deeply proud of. The ability to share my work directly with my fans has been incredibly rewarding on so many levels. I’m eternally grateful to everyone who has subscribed, shown support by purchasing one-of-a-kind Polaroids and offered me kind words of encouragement.

I took a short trip to Iceland in the early spring of 2022 after performing in Venice, Italy for Carnival. It had been a lifelong dream of mine to soak in the warm healing pools of the Blue Lagoon. The stark contrast between the rigid landscape surrounding the lagoon and the milky turquoise waters was incredible to experience firsthand. I would absolutely love to go back and explore more of this devastatingly beautiful landscape in the near future.

I then adopted a small dog from a rescue in July of 2023. The initial shift into being a dog-parent was a rough one, but after some time getting to know one another, the two of us became inseparable. Harper is a terrier mix with a big personality and a love for the outdoors. Her consistent need for adventure led me to make a massive life change — move out of my Los Angeles apartment and into a converted camper-van full time.

Since June of 2024, I’ve been on the road in my van I named Sylvia — my first grand adventure being the Pacific Northwest. I spent the entire summer exploring the stunning natural beauty that Washington and Oregon are known for — eating my weight in cherries, freshly foraged blackberries and raspberries. This time in nature allowed me to deepen my love and admiration for birding which has quickly become one of my favorite hobbies.

Once summer came to an end and the cooler weather began to creep in, I followed the sunshine down south. I met up with some friends to hike Mount Shasta, spent some time at Lake Tahoe and then made my way down the 395 — my absolute favorite stretch of highway I’ve traveled so far. I eventually made it to Arizona and then New Mexico. White Sands National Park quickly became one of my favorite places to stop — Harper’s too.

2025 has started off as the year that I visit friends, loved ones and chosen family all over the country. The need to connect deeply with my community has become extremely important to me while on this journey. However, the freedom that comes with living on the road is unparalleled. I’m so incredibly grateful to have this time to explore the natural wonders of this land and all the creatures that inhabit it. Along with that, my goal this year is to purchase property so that I can actualize my dream of creating an off-grid, self-sufficient homestead complete with my very own artists studio.

We did get a chance to ask a few follow-up questions this time around, where Anna Lisa continued to impress.

What kind of camera(s) do you use for your work?

My main shooter is my Leica R5 with a 50mm f/2 Summicron-R 2 lens which I use for portrait sessions with clients. For my self portraiture work, I use my Polaroid SX-70 Sonar One-Step with a MINT self timer — it has a hot pink leather finish to it which I’m proud of because I re-skinned it myself. Additionally, I have a Rollei XF 35 which I bought on a whim not knowing it had a built-in self timer. It’s quickly become one of my favorite cameras for self portraits while traveling because it’s lightweight and compact.

Do you have binoculars for birdwatching? If so what kind/brand?

I love my Leica 10×25 BCA binoculars.

Do you ever take photos of birds/wildlife in addition to beautiful little Harper?

I haven’t gotten into photographing wildlife yet, but I hope to do so in the near future. I’m truly in it for the personal enjoyment of spotting birds that I love and those I haven’t seen before.

Have you visited any additional national parks besides your favorite, White Sands National Park?

On this road-trip, I visited Mount Rainier and Olympic National Park in Washington State and Redwoods National Park in Northern California. However, most National Parks don’t allow dogs outside of camping areas — with the exception of White Sands which is why it’s one of my favorites. I tend to stick with the smaller state parks because they’re more forgiving when it comes to our four-legged-friends and are definitely not as busy during peak season. When I’m out in nature, I love to immerse myself in it as much as possible and oftentimes people can be a big distraction from that.

Last question. Did you convert the camper-van yourself or purchase it already converted?

My camper van came with a finished custom interior build-out and a full solar panel setup when I bought her. However, she needed some interior touch ups, new upper and lower ball joints, brakes, rotors, a new battery and a few other odds and ends before I was able to take her out on the road safely. I also added some personal touches like a fresh coat of paint on the interior, curtains, and custom insulated window covers which I made myself. She’s extremely cute, cozy and comfortable.

Yeah, they really should have asked if she were going to name her memoirs of this sate in her life “Sylvia Path” we think, right? Ah, well, now we have a conversation starter the next time we see Anna Lisa. Should you have missed it, Anna Lisa has a Pet Page here, but perhaps more helpful to our friend would be to pop over to her site and then joint her Patreon. We need to encourage van lives, after all, and we might as well do so with wonderful, talented people. (Although mean, unskilled people probably do not do well on Patreon, we’re guessing.)

Eloquence of a Kink

A Kink by Any Other Name: Secret Sex Lives of Great Authors

If teachers had told us just how kinky writers could be, I’d have been a lot more interested in the classics.

Honore De Balzac | A Kink of Precious Substance

Talk about retaining fluids. Balzac revealed to friends that, while having sex, he preferred not to ejaculate, fearing that it would sap his creative energy. “Lovely-dovey and amorous play, up to ejaculation, would be all right,” a confidante reported, “but only up to ejaculation. Sperm to him meant emission of purest cerebral substance, and therefore a filtering, a loss through the member, of a potential act of artistic creation.”

Or, as Balzac himself once put it after climaxing during intercourse with many of his Iovers: “This morning I have lost my novel!”

George Gordon, Lord Byron | A Kink of Niece and Daughter

Byron’s many paramours may have included his own half-sister, Augusta Leigh. She was married at the time, but hey, if you’ re going to commit incest, why not go all the way and commit adultery as well? Many scholars now contend that Augusta’s daughter Medora was in fact the product of Byron’s loins, making him, well. an even more complicated figure than we thought.

William Shakespeare | A Top Billing Kink

A randy Shakespeare once snookered his friend and fellow actor Richard Burbage out of a romantic rendezvous with a young lady who lived near the theatre.

The Bard overheard that woman making plans for a secret assignation. “Announce yourself as Richard III,” she told the actor.

Thinking quickly, Shakespeare hustled off to the woman’s home, gave the agreed-upon code name at the door, and was admitted to her boudoir for a spirited rogering session. When Burbage showed up a few minutes later, Shakespeare sent down a note: William the Conqueror came before Richard III.

W. B. Yeats | Monkey-Man Kink

In the days before Viagra, older men often resorted to quack remedies and experimental procedures to address their erectile dysfunction. Yeats was no exception. Determined to put a little lead in his pencil, the aging poet traveled to Vienna to undergo the fabled “Steinach Operation,” a revolutionary vasectomy touted by its namesake inventor as a surefire way to rejuvenate male potency. (Sigmund Freud had been “Steinached” some years earlier, to no effect.)

The 15-minute operation, in which monkey glands were implanted into Yeats’s scrotum, when off without a hitch. Yeats got his groove back. He later credited the surgery with reviving not only his creative powers but also his “sexual desire; and that in all likelihood will last me until I die.”

He soon began enjoying the fruits of his “strange second puberty” with a new mistress, 27-year-old actress and poet Margot Ruddock.

James Joyce | Kink of an Artist as an Old Perv

To say that Joyce had an active sexual imagination would be a profound understatement. “The two parts of your body which do dirty things are the loveliest to me,” Joyce wrote in one of the numerous erotic letters he sent to his Iongtime Iover, Nora Barnacle. “I wish you would smack me or flog me even,” he gushed in another. “I would love to be whipped by you, Noralove!”

And those are just a couple of the tamer passages. Joyce’s love letters abound with explicit descriptions of sex acts he shared or wished to share with her. Among the graphic anatomical references, which Joyce used as a masturbatory aid, are repeated salacious encomia to Nora’s “big full bubbies” and “arse full of farts.”

Indeed, Joyce seemed to have a special place in his, er, heart for the aroma of a woman’s wind and the sight of her soiled underwear. Weird? Yes. Sexy? That’s debatable.

Was Nora on board with the panty sniffing? Her letters back to him have not survived, although some of his notes suggest that she was every bit as dirty-minded as he-perhaps even more so.

“You seem to turn me into a beast,” Joyce wrote in yet another lusty missive. “It was you yourself, you naughty shameless girl. who first led the way.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald | Kink of the Foot Fancier

Fitzgerald had a serious foot fetish, and his tendency to link feet with sex dated from early childhood. All his life, he refused to let others see his unshod feet, which he associated in his mind with his own nakedness. “The sight of his own feet filled him with embarrassment and horror,” noted a 1924 interviewer.

When it came to women’s tootsies, however. Fitzgerald was positively batty. He confessed to a prostitute that the sight of a woman’s feet had always excited him and made caressing her feet part of their lovemaking ritual. A bizarre passage in This Side of Paradise in which the main character is revolted by the sight of a chorus girl’s feet may have been Fitzgerald’s attempt in his writing to come to grips with these impulses.

Gertrude Stein | Don’t have a Kinky Cow

For reasons known only to her, Stein referred to orgasms as “cows.” Coded references to “cows” can be found in a number of her poems and stories, including “As a Wife Has a Cow: A Love Story.” Fort the record, she once called herself “the best cow giver in all the world.”

Walt Whitman | Abe the Kinky Babe

Whitman had a serious crush on Abraham Lincoln, whom he eulogized in the 1865 poem, “O Captain! My Captain!”

While working as a nurse in Washington, D.C. during the Civil War, Whitman often saw the president with his cavalry guard on the streets. His written description of their encounters leaves little doubt he considered the lanky rail-splitter quite the dish.

“I see very plainly Abraham Lincoln’s dark brown face, with the deep-cut lines, the eyes always to me with a deep latent sadness in the expression. … Probably the reader has been physiognomies (often old farmers, sea captains, and such) that, behind their homeliness or even ugliness, held superior points to subtle, yet so palpable, making the real life of their faces almost as impossible to depict as wild perfume or fruit-taste, or a passionate tone of the living voice – and such was Lincoln’s face, the peculiar color, the lines of it, the eyes, mouth, expression. … To the eye of a great artist it furnished a rare study, a feast and fascination.”

Ayn Rand | Kinky Boy Toy

Rand tended to attract acolytes, and none was more devoted than Nathan Blumenthal , the Canadian college student who became by turns her protege, intellectual heir, and personal stud service. They first met in 1950, after the then-19-year-old Blumenthal wrote a fan letter to her. To his surprise, the famous author invited him to her home in Manhattan to take part in one of the floating philosophical bull sessions she called “the Collective.”

Blumenthal (who would soon restyle himself as Nathaniel Branden) quickly ingratiated himself into her inner circle. Rand even served as the maid of honor at his wedding. By 1955, their relationship had turned physical. Rand was 50: Branden was 25. She bragged to friends that she needed to have sex with him at I east two times a week to ward off writer’s block.

Branden parlayed his intimate access to the Objectivist visionary to found the Nathaniel Branden Institute, a think tank devoted to spreading Rand’s selfishness-based gospel. By 1968 the bloom was off the rose, however, and Branden started secretly seeing another of Rand’s disciples. who happened to be a beautiful young model. When Rand discovered the infidelity, she went ballistic and vowed to destroy him. In a public declaration, she officially cast him out of the Objectivist movement. Today, Branden works in Beverly Hills, California, as a psychotherapist specializing in self-esteem issues. He published a tell-all memoir, My Years with Ayn Rand, in 1999.

Jean-Paul Sartre | Kink, the Ladies Man

Despite his ungainly appearance, Sartre was a notorious womanizer who ran through mistresses as ravenously as he did packs of Boyard cigarettes. He even tried to hit on a comely young Brazilian journalist while his lover Simone de Beauvoir was in the hospital recovering from a bout of typhoid. He justified his infidelity by likening it to masturbation and refused to climax alongside his partners-not to forestall pregnancy but simply to deny them unnecessary intimacy.

William Borroughs | How Do You Like Me Now? Kink?

Despite a 12-year age difference, Burroughs and Allen Ginsberg shared a brief, torrid sexual affair in the early l950s. The coupling went down in flames, however, when Burroughs fell in love with his protege. “Bill wanted a relationship where there were no holds barred,” Ginsberg later wrote, “to achieve the ultimate telepathic union of souls.”

When it came time to dump Burroughs, Ginsberg was somewhat Iess eloquent in his word choice: “I don’t want your ugly old cock,” he told him. It took many years for the two men to repair their broken friendship.

From Secret Lives of Great Authors © 2008 by Robert Schnakenberg. Used with permission of Quirk Books.

Wow. Let me not to the marriage of true minds, and all that. Somehow just knowing that blood rushing to parts of the body not responsible for thinking has been an issue for centuries. Having said that, should one run across a particularly hesitant yet erudite lass today, that has thus far resisted your charms (perhaps all too easily), you still might get some play employing at least one of the more sophisticated efforts in history. … Git ‘R’ Donne.

Beatrice Esmont

Shimmering Temptress Beatrice Esmont

Beatrice Esmont captivates her online audience with her flirty gaze, dazzling confidence, and alluring figure. Embracing a love for helping people, positivity, and world peace, she shimmers with a personality and appearance that shines brighter than the Northern Lights visible from her hometown. [Yowza. -Ed.]

Beatrice always stands (or sits, or reclines, whatever) ready to display her best, and her admirers can’t get enough of her sexy poise. Valuing her relationships with others, Beatrice Esmont enjoys spending time with her friends but also describes being in tune with her own wants and needs. The beautiful Ms. Esmont works hard at the gym, unwinds with massages, and displays her romantic side. Through all of that Beatrice values close kinship connections with partners and investing in the emotions and feelings each experience gives her. She begins each day with a goal toward building upon her own strength and sensations.

You’ll always find this irresistible blonde in search of potential opportunities, and we’re thankful for the camera present to capture all her endeavors.

So we got that — mostly — from the magzine people, along with some basic facts and cursory overview — that fits on their page, obviously.

Age: 26
Height: 5’3”
Measurements: 32B-24-37
Hometown: Saint-Petersburg, Russia

What are some jobs you have held in the past?

Deputy manager at a jewelry store.

What do you think is the hottest movie sex scene?

The red room of Gray in 50 Shades of Gray.

Favorite shows and movies?

Horror and detective stories.

Describe your first on-camera sex experience.

Omg, it was a very cool experience with toys!

What is the biggest turn-on for you?

Dirty talk, touches (gentle and a little bit hard).

Naturally we can take Ms. Beatrice Esmont to a deeper level, though. And we do love that.

Thus, we continue (merrily).

Did you attend college?

Yes

If so, when did/will you graduate?

2016

College Major?

Architecture

What is the most exciting place you’ve ever had sex?

Bedroom.

What is the most remarkable sexual experience you have ever had?

Usually in relationships with feelings bringsfor me the most wonderful sex. It gives a lot of strength, emotions and sensations.

Favorite sports?

Figure Skating

If you could have sex with anyone past or present, who would you pick?

My Ex-Boyfriend

When you are being photographed in the nude, how do you psyche yourself up? Is there anything you do to get into the right mood?

No, I’m always ready.

What is your favorite thing about your job?

Toys. Money. Tips.

How did you get involved in the adult industry?

Money

Honestly, we think those last couple of answesr might be the most honest (as well as being the most common) answer we have received on a questionnaire in a long time. Then again, Beatrice Esmost gave a few atypical answers in there. Kinda just makes you want to meet her online even more, right?

Playing the Fool

Fool Me Once

The Fool Killer’s comin’ to town, Jeff, and you don’t want him lookin’ fo’ you, so better not be a fool, understan’?” Hobie Smith — a good man and at least 40 years my senior — was teaching me how to survive in the real world. “Keep your eyes on the hands of the man shuffling the damn deck, boy!”

The grandson of Alabama slaves, Hobie was tickling the tired, stained deck of cards, getting ready for the next hand of Tonk. In many ways, I grew up at Johnny’s Cab Stand, next to the railroad tracks in segregated Roslyn, New York, where Hobie was the taxi dispatcher and dispenser of gritty wisdom to anyone who’d listen. I was 15, the son of upper-middle-class parents who knew that if they couldn’t find me, to call Johnny’s.

At Johnny’s, I had another name — “the White Boy” — and it was said with love and laughter. You see, white people didn’t come to Johnny’s Cab Stand. They went to Salerno Taxi on the other side of the railroad tracks. Johnny’s was for the black maids on their way to and from jobs in houses like mine.

I’d stumbled into Johnny’s one cold night when Salerno was closed, and found myself among new friends. As the weeks went by and I listened to tales of life in the Jim Crow South and still-segregated North, I got more confident.

“Hey, Hobie, I think it’s my deal!” Hobie’s handsome, weathered face split into a wide, satisfied grin as he handed me the deck. He was getting through to the dumbass teenager who liked to hang out with and learn from black men who experienced life very differently.

Over the months of afternoons and nights I spent at the cab stand, I got to meet saints and criminals and a lot of people who (Hobie told me later) were “complete fools.” By the time my family left Roslyn for Portland, Maine, two years later, I had definitely decided against being a fool. Of course, I had no idea it would be an ongoing, lifelong effort.…

Good intentions do not necessarily keep us off the List of Fools. Once, on a first date with a colleague — a lovely White House correspondent — I totally blew it. I was trying to impress her with how “compassionate” I was. Less than a block from the White House, we approached a group of homeless men. My date commented quietly on their difficult lives; puffed up by my own ego, I decided to get some points for being a Really Kind Guy. I looked at one of them standing over a heat grate and said, “Hey, brother, how’s it going?” He looked at me as though I were crazy, took one step closer, and decked me with a strong right cross.

When I looked up from the sidewalk, the guy was walking away, muttering about someone named “Idiot,” and the woman I’d wanted to impress was, well, not. It took me hours to figure out that I had paid the price for being an arrogant fool. I was so self-absorbed, it hadn’t occurred to me how it might feel to be that homeless man, encrusted in dirt, to have some well-dressed, clean-shaven fellow with a pretty woman on his arm enter his space, asking him, “How’s it going?” His punch to my head was a crime, but I provoked it — by being a fool.

I confess to having been a fool because I repeatedly failed to engage aggressively on behalf of causes in which I believe. I left it to others to rise up against environment-killing projects. I stayed warm, dry, and tear-gas-free while other friends journeyed to North Dakota to support the river protectors. I could cite other examples.

If we haven’t stood up for whatever it is we believe in, we have earned our way into the Club of Fools. Automatic membership is afforded to those of us who did not vote, did not demonstrate, did not volunteer, did not write letters to members of Congress, did not engage at all in making our country a better place to live. To all of us who fit that description, the joke’s on us. Especially if we’ve been too busy getting laid, getting rich, or playing games to get involved with real life.

Whether we come at politics from the left or the right, having a voice means nothing unless we use it. Having a conviction is meaningless unless we act on it. Of course, we all have to make a living. It’s how we assign the rest of our time and energy which defines whether we are, in fact, fools, or smart, active players in the lives of our communities and our nation.

In our complex World, it’s Possible to not Even realize that we’ve surrendered Because the Process can be so Gradual.

Politicians often play the public for fools through their highly sophisticated use of media. Manipulative messaging is always wrapped in something noble-sounding. When a politician talks constantly about making us safer, his hidden message is, “Be afraid! Be very afraid!” Frightened people are the easiest to victimize — especially if the manipulators tell us how tough they are and how strong we’ll be so long as we support them.

Our free will is the guardian of our independence. Its erosion leads to our subservience. In our complex, informationally chaotic world, it’s possible to not even realize that we’ve surrendered because the process can be so gradual. Manipulative messaging can be so constant and repetitive that it seeps past our defenses and fools us into believing what’s not true. It’s especially difficult to know that our personal power is being compromised when clever messaging triggers our own very real and deep-seated frustration and shapes it into rage.

Then it’s game-on with the manipulators calling the shots. If unscrupulous political leaders can keep us enraged, they’ve got us. Fury can make us feel like roaring lions. Then there’s the embarrassment that follows after realizing we’ve been tricked into getting high on our anger.

From Moscow to Manila, from Washington to Islamabad, the power grabbers and the self-righteous are happy to make fools of us as they drain our personal freedom by misdirecting and frightening us. What they count on is that we are so drenched in our self-interest, so ego-involved that we won’t bother to observe, let alone speak out, as they vampire off someone else’s freedom or safety. Authoritarian regimes which attempt to damage us over the long run are already slicing and dicing the personal freedom of their own people. In Putin’s Russia, the government is decriminalizing domestic violence. Anticipating the change in the law, some cops are already telling women who are being beaten by their husbands to call back, but only after their partners kill them. This is not an April Fools’ joke, nor are any of the other situations I’m about to describe.

In Turkey, the increasingly paranoid and repressive government is smashing the press, arresting, on average, one reporter every day, while forcing some journalists into exile, leaving the people to be informed by intimidated media.

In China, all forms of dissent are being crushed under the weight of the State. But there’s so much money to be made there, many American business leaders hold their noses, smile, and sell their souls by their silence.

In Washington, the Trump administration not only ordered the press to “keep its mouth shut” (yeah, that’ll work), but it has also issued a lethal “global gag rule” blocking federal funding to international nongovernmental organizations that “promote” or provide abortions. This makes pro-life purists feel better, but in the third world it creates horror. Forcing charities to shut up about safe ways to end pregnancies condemns impoverished women to head for back-alley abortionists, untrained local practitioners, or self-infliction, which leads to infection, sepsis, death, and the orphaning of their existing children.

In France, the anti-Muslim leader Marine Le Pen’s star is rising fast. The charismatic right-wing ideologue and powerful opponent of immigration is looking more and more like she might be elected President of France (and if not in the next election, then sometime soon). One of Le Pen’s admirers is the 27-year-old French-Canadian Alexandre Bissonnette, the right-wing extremist who confessed to slaughtering six innocent Muslims earlier this year as they prayed in their mosque in Quebec. Bissonnette invaded the sacred space with his AK-47 assault rifle and, reloading twice, shot people in the back as they prayed.

In Germany, the far-right wing is rising as more and more Germans join the ranks of the frightened because of violence committed by refugees, and the artful way right-wing politicians pumped up the anger of ordinary Germans. The biggest-headline crimes had to do with sex, including some rapes and the public groping of almost 100 women at a festival in Cologne. All of it is horrible and inexcusable. How it happened is complicated but instructive.

Stressed by the desperate need to find housing, food, and other creature comforts for over a million asylum seekers, the German government did not teach the tide of incoming, mostly conservative Muslims how to relate to Germany’s sexually liberated culture. An ugly collision was inevitable and predictable.

But being overwhelmed doesn’t excuse Angela Merkel’s government from climbing onto the Fool Train and dragging the entire country along. Poor Merkel was trying to do the right thing. Since the end of World War II and the de-Nazification of Germany, her country has worked hard to be a beacon of compassion. For decades, Germany has accepted and acted on the core truth that failure to accept our involvement in all of humanity condemns us as heartless fools.

After the horror of the Holocaust, a German Christian pastor named Martin Niemöller reminded the world of how frightened people remained silent in the face of Hitler’s rise to power. His words, crafted 71 years ago, are worthy of the attention of anyone who does not wish to be a fool today:

“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out. Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out. Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out. Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me — and there was no one left to speak for me.”

Martin Niemöller

Pastor Niemöller’s warning slices into our consciousness like an icy rain. Our only hope for getting off the Fools’ Express is to become fully awake, to realize that we are being played by others for their own purposes, and to consciously reject anyone’s attempt to frighten us into the next level of being a fool: believing in false conspiracy theories.

That, of course, does not preclude the existence of real conspiracies — including the corruption of politicians by corporations, drug dealers, and foreign governments, and coordinated efforts to deny Americans access to the ballot. Every single one of those conspiracies is not only real, but plays all of us for fools no matter what month of the year it is.

On the other hand, false conspiracy theories are distractions, designed to increase fear and subvert the clarity of our thinking. So long as we are obsessed with phony conspiracies, the very real manipulators pick our pockets, create false divisions within our society, and make our country more vulnerable to attack from actual terrorists.

The master of real conspiracies inside the Trump White House is Stephen Bannon, the right-wing extremist writer and media manipulator who redirected Trump’s faltering campaign to victory by playing on the frustrations of middle- and working-class white people in states rich in electoral college votes.

Bannon has a big agenda of his own: tearing down existing democratic institutions. His conspiracy to do just that required him to get his hands on the levers of power inside the White House. He already had prime access to the Oval Office and the president’s ear. But he wanted to make sure that nonpolitical national security professionals — our country’s best experts—would be unable to influence Trump in ways contrary to Bannon’s desire.

To do that, Bannon would have to keep the president from the Director of National Intelligence and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff — our top military commander. These men would routinely see any president at regular meetings of the Principals’ Committee of the National Security Council—the organization responsible for providing the president swift guidance on immediate and long-term threats to the nation.

So, Bannon had Trump remove the Director and the Chairman from those regular meetings. In their place: Bannon and White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus. That turns the Principals’ meeting of the NSC into an ideological echo chamber of shared political perspective led by people who boast of having “alternative facts” when the real facts are displeasing to them.

With the Director of National Intelligence and the nation’s top military leader excluded from regular NSC Principals’ meetings, dissenting opinions are likely to become things of the past, and further wall off the president from reality — should he ever be interested in it. That kind of insulation leads to incompetent and highly destabilizing actions, like Trump’s partial ban on Muslims entering the U.S.

Trump’s ban created havoc and utterly unnecessary pain in the lives of thousands of innocent and fully-vetted people. More than 100,000 visas were revoked within days of Bannon/Trump’s new policy. Denying access to all Syrian refugees who were fleeing absolute horror began to create a new, darker picture of America. The Statue of Liberty’s lamp had been dimmed, albeit temporarily, in the name of “security.” The ban also fed neatly into the ISIS narrative, which says the racist West, led by America, is engaged in continuous conflict with Islam.

That’s all fine with human wrecking ball Bannon, the white nationalist who once declared, “I’m a Leninist.” Bannon’s words refer to the brutal leader of the Russian Communist Revolution of 1917. “Lenin wanted to destroy the state, and that’s my goal, too,” Bannon told the Daily Beast four years ago. “I want to bring everything crashing down, and destroy all of today’s establishment.”

Bannon’s desire to trash all institutions includes respected rightwing media organizations. “National Review and The Weekly Standard are both left-wing magazines, and I want to destroy them also,” he said. That Bannon is now the Svengali at Trump’s ear, that he now has a seat at the NSC, is a huge joke on all of us. Bannon is making a fool of Trump, who is so blinded by his own narcissism that he loses interest in seeing anything but his own reflection. One former CIA case officer said of Trump, “Oh, he’d be easy to manipulate, because of his narcissism.”

Bannon is making a fool of Trump, who is so blinded by his own narcissism that he loses interest in seeing anything but his own reflection.

Today, the phenomenal power of our executive branch appears to be in the hands of an emotionally insecure president, vulnerable to flattery, who’s under the sway of Bannon, a brilliant manipulator with his own bizarre and dangerous agenda.

In a demonstration of startling tone-deafness, the White House put the seven-country Muslim ban into effect on International Holocaust Remembrance Day — the day the world is supposed to remember the horrors of the Nazi death camps. That’s when we are all called on to honor the memory of six million Jews, plus thousands of gay people and other enemies of the Nazi State who were gassed, shot, strangled, and beaten to death. The orders for those mechanized murders came from Berlin — from Adolf Hitler and the architects of what was elegantly titled, “The Final Solution to the Jewish Question.”

In its official Holocaust Remembrance Day declaration, Trump’s White House did not use the word “Jew” for the first time in the European history of such declarations — as though the mass murder of Jews had not been the reason for the Holocaust. Was that a strange oversight? No. It’s part of an emerging pattern. The White House ordered the State Department not to publish its annual Holocaust Remembrance statement because it referred to Jews as the primary victims. Officials in the State Department were flummoxed. A routine declaration had been turned into an alarming act of censorship. What’s going on? In public discussion of the Holocaust, eliminating references to Jews or downplaying the number killed is the beginning of Holocaust denial and is a hallmark of the anti-semitic, white nationalist movements associated with Bannon.

President Trump’s chief strategist Bannon is working to expand the limits of acceptibility of the kinds of lies, deceptions, and other poisonous propaganda that he delights in spreading as part of his campaign of societal destruction.

Thanks in part to Bannon, we are living in a time of fear-driven politics successfully masquerading as the defense of national security. But the falsity of the national security argument becomes apparent under any careful test. When the Cato Institute — a conservative think tank — researched the number of Americans killed by terrorists from the seven countries Trump banned, researchers came up with a stunning answer: Zero. None. Not even one. And Cato went back to 1975, when my dear friend and mentor, Dr. Robert H. Kupperman, did the very first study of terrorism for the White House. (In 1989, Kupperman and I wrote the book Final Warning: Averting Disaster in the New Age of Terrorism.)

It’s remarkable that Trump’s partial Muslim ban, which was supposed to make us safer from terror, excluded Saudi Arabia, the country that produced 15 of the 9/11 hijackers. The Saudi power structure has long been the top funder of the extremist Salafist Sunni Muslim preachers whose fiery rhetoric feeds the flames of jihadism around the world and justifies its bloody violence. But Trump has done big business with the Saudis, so it’s no surprise that Saudi Arabia was not on the list of banned nations.

The ban was all smoke and mirrors. It was deception designed to make Trump’s angry, frightened political base feel like he’s keeping his promise to protect them. It didn’t.

The biggest threat from jihadists inside America comes from young people who become radicalized over the internet. The Obama administration created funding for local groups to educate young people across America away from the propaganda of ISIS and Al Qaeda, and of white supremacists. Within days of the new president assuming office, word began leaking that Bannon/Trump wanted to change that program to address only the prevention of violence by Muslim extremists. Then Trump issued his travel ban. Quickly, some of the nonprofit organizations receiving that anti-violence funding began rejecting it out of disgust with the Bannon/Trump campaign against Islam.

Mubin Shaikh, a former intelligence operative whose undercover work prevented multiple terrorist attacks in the U.S. and Canada, says the insistence of Trump supporters on believing that his Muslim ban was a good idea reminds him of the mind-set of radicalized young Muslims he interviewed. They had become so invested in their beliefs that no presentation of facts could move them from their fiercely held ideology.

On the travel ban and the program to prevent radicalization, Bannon/ Trump played us all for fools. But more and more people who have no political agenda are beginning to speak out. Among those who are hoping to keep us from marching into the Fools’ Hall of Shame is Michael Vincent Hayden. Before he retired, he was a four-star Air Force general. His brilliant mind and willingness to speak truth to power took him to his next three jobs: Director of the National Security Agency, Principal Deputy Director of National Intelligence, and Director of the CIA. General Hayden says the Muslim ban only helped ISIS, and that its effect on the humanitarian crisis is “an abomination.”

Even Bannon/Trump would have trouble making people believe Hayden is soft on terrorism. But if he does bad mouth General Hayden, there are some who would believe it, because breaking from Bannon/Trump would be akin to separating from an imagined, all-powerful daddy who will protect us, no matter what. When our brains are in the hands of Bannon and his crew of master message manipulators, anything can happen.

During the presidential campaign, many people came to believe the completely bizarre rumor that the Clintons were running a child sex ring out of a popular pizza joint in D.C. where I would routinely bring my daughters to play ping-pong and eat. Thank God we were not there the day some poor fool who believed the fake news he’d read online walked in with an assault rifle. He’d come to liberate the children he thought were being held as sex slaves. He fired a round, fortunately hitting no one. As the police led him away, the poor fool was heard to say, “I guess the intel on this wasn’t so good.”

It all takes me back to my after-school life at Johnny’s Cab Stand and my first guru, Mr. Hobie Smith. “You got to stay awake and pay attention to what’s going on around you,” Hobie warned, “because the Fool Killer is always out there.”

Obviously, the original publication of this editorial came relatively early — April of 2017 to be exact — in the first Trump Administration. Much has changed in the world since that time, but much has also not changed, as fools still abound. Whether we favor the goals or the attacks on them, we have all seen how President Trump’s second Administration has been reaching for his goals with a much more sophisticated approach. Less plodding this time around, perhaps. … No matter which side of good/bad one comes down on those, it can always be helpful to look back at what people have said and done when trying to gauge where they might be going now. Project 2025 anyone?

She SAM What She SAM

Model Behavior with Sam Phillips

The World According to Renee OlsteadSam Phillips now roams our world as a Penthouse icon. With an unrivaled 19 covers, Sam’s the magazine’s most celebrated cover model of all time, a symbol of the golden age of Guccione, and an integral part of daily operations for the brand. Behind the scenes, she’s Penthouse’s unofficial matriarch and a woman who’s had a hand in almost every facet of the publication, from columnist to model scout.

For Penthouse Pets, Sam will often be a model’s first point of contact with the magazine. She’ll be the voice on the other end of congratulatory calls and the one coaching them through poses on set. To the Penthouse team, she’s the magazine’s photo editor, production manager, and director of almost all things Pet-related.

In 1993 Phillips caught the eye of Penthouse’s then-editor-in-chief Bob Guccione. At 27 years old, Phillips was already a seasoned veteran of the industry and a woman of the world. She signed to New York’s famed Wilhelmina Models at age 16 and completed mega-campaigns for brands like Jordache. She’d dated rock royalty and lived in London, Paris, and Japan. Now, over a decade after her career began, and with countless magazine covers to her name, Phillips began to seek opportunities beyond the fashion world.

“I got healthier, I got my boobs done — I went blonde!” said Sam of her calculated transition from high-fashion model to music video vixen. “Directors loved me because I was fearless. … I was the first one to volunteer for a stunt or to get hung upside down.”

Phillips accepted the magazine’s offer after meeting with Guccione and his wife, vice chairman Kathy Keeton, in the couple’s 17,000 square foot townhouse on New York’s East 67th Street. Phillips shot with all-star glamor photographer Suze Randall and became a Penthouse Pet in June of 1993. It was a move that would begin a lifetime relationship with the brand.

Fun bit of history: In those days they would often do two different versions of the magazine cover. The first with the centerfold cover would go to subscribers only, and the second — often featuring some famous person — would show up in book stores and on newsstands. So if you have one of these original “Sam on the Cover” versions, hang on to it becassue they’re collector’s items.

“The first time we met was at one of these wonderful parties for the Pet of the Year,” said fellow Pet-alum and adult superstar Tera Patrick, “Everyone would wear gowns… and here was this gorgeous blonde woman with leather pants and a leopard coat.” It was a chance meeting that would lead to decades of friendship for the pair, who still jokingly refer to each other as “husband and wife.”

Sam’s sultry voice and bold demeanor led to a career in radio. Even while hosting alongside on-air personalities such as Tom Leykis and Dr. Drew, Phillips never lost her connection to her Penthouse family, regularly booking Pets for industry events and radio promotions.

“She was always looking out for everybody. […] Anytime an opportunity wasn’t for her, she’d keep it in her pocket and give it to someone else.” said Patrick.

In 2012 Sam formally returned to the pages of Penthouse with “Pet Confidential,” a regular column profiling current and former pets. Shortly thereafter, Phillips took on the role of Pet Manager — due in no small part to her popularity with her fellow centerfolds.

Photo Courtesy of Alexus Winston

“We’ve been friends for over 25 years,” said November ‘97 Pet Alexus Winston. “When my mom passed away, Sam helped me through the whole thing. Even though she’s only ten years older than me — she stepped in as a sort of mother figure.”

Life doesn’t slow down after office hours for Phillips, where Sam’s dedication as a friend and mentor mirrors her commitment to her work. At home, she’s a self-professed crazy cat lady and house mom to the bevy of Pets and adult industry performers who frequent her Chatsworth home.

“She doesn’t like to call it a model house,” said adult performer Tyler Cruise, describing it as more of a “bed and breakfast” than anything else. “I still go over there for dinner all the time. I was there last week and she made homemade pasta and her famous garlic bread. She cooks at least four times a week for everybody.”

“It’s like a family,” says Phillips, ”There’s a cycle of regulars that come through and also a lot that are new models. They know that they’ll be safe [at my house]. The veterans here love to give advice to the new people that come through. It’s kind of a standard thing with this house, we all look after each other.”

For May ‘23 Pet Lexi Chey, staying with Sam helped make the Pet experience so memorable. “Sam was my Valentine’s Day date!” Chey says. “We had a girls’ night and she had all my clothes ready and laid out for me in the morning. […] I’m a small-town girl. I’d never even had anyone do my makeup for me before — but she explained everything. She made sure all my questions were answered. I’ve never felt so special.”

“She takes care of literally everyone,” said December ‘22 Pet Amber Rose, who describes Phillips as something of a “fairy godmother.” “She has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.”

Balancing work/life responsibilities leaves free time in short supply for Phillips, whose typical work day starts at 3 am. Sam’s job is a split of location shoots, home editing, and trips to the Penthouse offices, where she’s often found printing and arranging 8x10s on the floor of workspace common areas. ”There are so many good photos and not enough pages. I want to cram as much of the experience into the layout as possible,” she said, describing her unorthodox process.

“Sam is a walking tornado,” said Penthouse CEO “Moose” fondly. “There’s never a dull moment.”

“She’s amazingly chaotic,” said ‘16 POTY Kenna James. “She’s one of the best people you’ll ever meet. But she is crazy as crazy can be — in the very best way possible.”

Despite changes in leadership at the magazine, Phillips’s presence has remained constant. When a new vision for the brand brought major upgrades to the table, Sam continued to prove that she was worth her weight in gold.

Moose wanted to bring back the signature key necklaces of the past, but the original mold was nowhere to be found. To bring the legacy design back to life, jewelers would need access to an original necklace. With Sam on staff, locating a Guccione-era original was easy — it was dangling around her neck. Convincing her to relinquish it, however, proved a challenge. “That key means everything to her,” said Moose. “She first wanted my firstborn child [as collateral], but my wife wasn’t okay with that.”

Eventually, Sam relented. One week later, a new mold had been cast and Phillips’ key was safely returned.

Today, Sam continues the Penthouse tradition on set, handing each newly minted Pet their very own copy of the iconic gold key. It’s as if her necklace has become a master key of sorts — a piece of herself handed down to the next generation. “She’s like an industry mother,” said 2021 POTY [Pet of the Year] Kenzie Anne, “You meet so many people, and yet Sam is everything you want people to be.”

Few Pets know the story behind the necklace they receive or the significance of receiving it directly from the woman from whose necklace it was cast — I know I didn’t — but its significance becomes more than just a symbol of the historic brand. It’s also become a symbol of Sam, her legacy at the magazine, and the connection she shares with a community she calls her “Penthouse family.”

“Once she’s in your life, and you’re in hers, she’s there forever” said Winston, “I think that’s a very unique quality, don’t you?”

Remarkably friendly, you might even be able to connect with Sam on Instagram. We cannot promise anything, to be sure, because she does happen to be quite popular, but it could happen. Of course you will never know unless you try. Now on the off chance you find yourslef not yet conviced this might be worth the effort, we have provided a heretofore super-secret video of Sam at a private Pet Event in Las Vegas last January.

Inimitable. … Fits, right?

The Golf Group Grope

(L-R) Sophie Summers, Trippie Bri, Renee Olstead, Sam Phillips, Bella Vaunt … Not Pictured: Way more fun later in the evening.

Soulful Talks with Trip Bri

A Trip Bri Conversation

I’m sitting here with Trip Bri, Penthouse Pet.

Trip Bri: Hello! Thank you for having me.

How do you navigate the intersection of your personal beliefs and the expectations placed on you by the public, or the industry?

Trip Bri: [sighs] Wow. … First of all, amazing question.

Thank you.

Trip Bri: You guys really did the work on that.

Thank you, again.

Trip Bri: That’s because I think about this actually quite frequently, ‘cause I wrestle with it kind of internally. My personal beliefs in what I do, and what I support, versus what I believe that the public sees me as and what morals they would like me to support, I guess you can say… and I think that, for me, it’s complicated.

I think that while I value the sort of ‘my body is a temple’ values internally, I also try to remember that a lot of people look at temples. A lot of people go visit temples, and it doesn’t really destroy them, and so I try… I try to remind myself also, there is … I think there’s a lot of judgement that comes from the public — that comes as a projection. I try to remind myself that who I am and what I do, those aspects are not intersected as much as people like to portray them. And so, like I said, I do think that the body is a temple, and it is to be treated with respect. That’s one of my personal beliefs, and so, I try not to share my physical body with a lot of partners at a time, while I continue to respect others who do. But I also believe that a temple can have a lot of visitors and still be sacred.

Great answer. I love that. What role do you think social media plays in shaping the public’s perception today?

Trip Bri: Social media — the internet itself, is such a fascinating third place because all of us are a little bit of a different version of ourselves on social media than we are in reality. That applies whether you’re just a commenter, or a spectator, or a poster. I think that social media, with the sort of faceless aspect of it, for commenters and the sort of identity-less aspect of it for influencers and posters, those of us who don’t generally make our posting our identity, I think it kind of creates this weird third space where all that we really see is someone’s façade.

That’s why I’ve been — I think that’s why the de-influencing trend has started to be such a big thing. I think that people are really starting to crave the candidness and the sort of anti-influencer unpolished personal element of it. So I think it’s definitely been a looking glass. Social media has been a looking glass into who we really are, what we really want. I think it’s taken some time to get there, but I actually think we’re making solid progress toward observing ourselves in a more natural light than we have through social media.

Great answer. If you could give a TED Talk on a subject outside of your expertise, what would it be?

Trip Bri: Outside of my expertise? I think I would love to talk about calculus and the physics of space and Earth. I’m actually conceptually really good at math, but I’m terrible at the actual performance of the numbers. And calculus is cool. I took it in college, and conceptually, I find it so cool how the different formulas represent ways that numbers and shapes and movements of the universe relate to one another. It’s certainly out of my expertise, but if I could give a TED Talk, I would definitely love to give one on calculus and the cosmos. [laughs]

How do you envision the future of your industry, and where do you see yourself fitting into that vision?

Trip Bri: Yeah, I actually also think about that one all the time. I don’t think that it’s going to stay the way that it was. I think that — I mean the world that we live in — everything has begun accelerating so much more than before. I mean you can look at it in everything through interior design trends, to clothing trends, to the speed at which social media algorithms change.

I mean, even just the type of content I was posting a couple of years ago, or a year ago, is different than the type of content I need to create now. The organic algorithm changes. The future of the industry — I have no prediction immediately off the top of my head, but I have no doubt that the next evolution is going to involve something a little more material. Like, I think VR is going to be a really big thing that’s going to come up. I think the OnlyFans thing is interesting, because it was the natural next evolution for porn. Like, it went from impersonal performances to the highly personal interactive. And so, I think it’s going to continue to get more interactive.

How I fit into it, I see one of two things. I see myself either retiring entirely from it and stepping away or creating something that hasn’t existed before, which I think is actually a passion of mine and something I’d like to do. It’s on my bucket list. I really want to create a non-sexual free retreat for women who do what I do to be in a space with other women with potential to do breath work, to go sunning, and swimming in the river naked, and be with each other naked in a non-sexual way and remember that we are actually just little human bodies running around this planet. I’d love to provide sex therapists and sex talks to these women. I think it would be…

Women lack a lot of community nowadays. Our world is really isolating, and our culture very isolating. I think how women have survived for so long has been through strong female culture and sisterhood, and so I think creating what I consider currently is lacking in this world is in the next step for me. I’d really like to create safe spaces for girls like me.

I love that one! Come on now, stop being so fantastic. What has been one of the biggest challenges you’ve faced in your career, and how did you overcome it?

Trip Bri: I think that no matter what anybody says, I’ve observed it within myself and within others … the career that we do has, can have, a pretty negative impact on romantic relationships — especially if you are with someone who is interested in monogamy and has just a different perspective on it.

I think for me, when you’re in an intimate relationship with somebody, well, first of all, the work that we do puts us so into the spotlight that we are really hard on ourselves, and it can be really draining. So first I’ve observed that a need for your partner to support you consistently and pick you back up is pretty crucial. That’s been one impact that I’ve seen. … Since I stare at myself — on my phone, on my camera — all day long, I’m staring at minutia that I wouldn’t notice otherwise, and I think having a partner be there and dealing with that has more often than not been a point of tension in my life. I also think that involving them in the work that I do is kind of hard. … It’s a hard ask — for me, for my partner. Especially, when we’ve done live streams, that’s been, I think, the biggest point of contention. It’s really hard for a man to have to perform live when he’s not personally trained, or decided to enter the industry, when he’s just a regular guy who has no training or any of that but also doesn’t want you to sleep with anyone else for that. So, it’s a really, really, tricky thing to navigate… so, I think that’s been the biggest thing I’ve noticed.

That’s another great answer.

Trip Bri: [laughs]

Do you think the role of celebrity and influencers changed in the digital age?

Trip Bri: I do.

How?

Trip Bri: I think that celebrities used to be these mysterious creatures … and I think of super-models in the early and late 90s. I mean they would show up at events, they would take photos, they would look mysterious and cool, and then they would retreat and maybe paparazzi would catch them doing something, but nobody was stalking them with their cellphones. That wasn’t a thing… and now it’s so ubiquitous with the cellphone that you can’t really have that mystique as a celebrity anymore. I also think that with that lack of mystique, people have generally stopped praising celebrities as much. They’ve had a lot more opportunities for missteps and we’ve had too many social media missteps with celebrities that got a little bit too loose and too much of a look into what their lives look like, I think that people have lost a lot of interest in mystique in influencers and celebrities as things to be praised. I think that now — like I said earlier — people are looking to de-influence and become relatable. I think we are looking to find relatable people on the internet … which …

I don’t know if I fall into that category, but…

I think you’re very relatable, are you kidding?

Trip Bri: [laughs] Thank you.

How do you balance your public persona with maintaining personal privacy?

Trip Bri: Yeah… I think that thinking of, like a compartmentalization of … thinking of my persona Trip Bri as a project — rather than an extension of myself — makes it easier. I really do enjoy blending my creative interests into my work. So that element of it I do put out there, but as for my privacy, I don’t really post my day-to-day. I think I just keep it … I stick to work, you know? I post a cute photo, but I don’t need the world to know where I’m going to get lunch and stuff. I let myself live my life. I don’t photograph all my experiences, for me.

I love that answer.

Trip Bri: [laughs]

What’s something people might be surprised to learn about your upbringing or early life?

Trip Bri: Everyone thinks I was a cheerleader. I was a shaved-head musical theater rugby player. I was not in the slightest what people imagine. I was Polish speaking … I mean I learned English, but I had an accent through elementary school. I had short hair, [and] in high school I had long hair, but I was a musical theater kid, and then in college, I shaved my head, and I played rugby. I think that people would not expect that of me at all.

That is very true.

Trip Bri: [laughs]

You’ve shocked me. How do you define happiness, and what does it mean to you personally?

Trip Bri: Happiness is a massive term … there are so many large and small moments of happiness that fill up a whole pot of it. And I think that it’s a balance of the big and the small. … ‘Cause you can’t always seek happiness to grow, you have to seek wholeness.

I think when you can be happy with the unhappiness that you’ve had, when you can be happy that your suffering has made you who you are — and brought you to where you are — that can fill the larger happiness hole.

Then the smaller happiness for me is definitely the liberty to wake up when I want to, and the liberty to have a slow morning, and the liberty to travel freely into the woods when I want to disappear. And that … that means everything to me. I think to have the mental freedom to sit down and not have to do anything for a little bit and also knowing that the moments where I’m working, and I’m tired, and I feel ugly and fat and unloved, and all those things that don’t make me happy, being happy that I get to have those experiences is also a part of my happiness … if that makes sense.

It makes total sense. Ok, one more question. Could you share a personal story of when you almost gave up but decided to keep going?

Trip Bri: I can! I actually can!

I was in a very tough relationship, and he took everything from me after we started this work together. He took over all of the business elements, and I naively trusted him and believed for years that I had no worth outside of just making TikToks and making OnlyFans content. And when it came time to acknowledge that I couldn’t accept that anymore, I almost gave up. I actually tried to give up. Essentially, I tried everything except going out on my own. I thought I could negotiate with him. I thought I could do anything other than trying to go out on my own. …

Eventually I, with the power of really good friends and people telling me to get a lawyer, was able to actually liberate myself from a situation that kept me completely stuck and financially dependent. And now I get the absolute — I will say, if anyone is reading or listening to this and thinking about something similar and is scared to take that leap, I highly encourage it because on the other side of that risk, on the other side of that jump, is the most abundant wealth of self-fulfillment and self-independence and adventure. Ever since I didn’t let myself give up, I’ve found an absolute trove of joy, and so I’ve been really grateful for that.

That was great. Those were great answers…

Trip Bri: Thank you.

As you can probably tell, Trippie “Trip” Bri has a lot to say these days and most of it centers around joy. Can’t argue with that goal for sure. You can catch the official Pet Background in these pages, of course, and she has Instagram and backup Instagram and backup backup Instagram — because apparently she knows her tendency to push boundaries. All the struggle adds to her happiness, though, so we see no downside. To be fair, we have yet to see a downside to this one at all.

POTUS

POTUS WTF

People refer to “election fatigue” as the feeling of having been battered for so long with positive, negative, and contradictory information about one’s chosen candidate that the voter feels exhausted, demoralized, and/or itching for a fight. Well, that’s how I feel, anyway. But take heart: No matter who gets your vote in a couple of weeks, your special candidate isn’t the first to have been compared with Satan. And while 2016 has indeed been a pretty depressing election season, it’s important to remember that our presidents have been up to their one-percenter asses in intrigue throughout the history of the Republic.

> JAMES “MISS NANCY” BUCHANAN (POTUS 1857-1861 — Democrat)

Historians often count James Buchanan among our worst presidents. He’s not saddled with starting the Civil War (that was brewing for a long time) so much as he stands accused of being ineffectual in stopping it. A lifelong bachelor, our 15th president developed a strong attachment to William Rufus King, who in 1853 became vice president under Franklin Pierce. Prior to this, Buchanan and King roomed together for a decade, and Washington gossips noted how the Pennsylvanian Buchanan began to affect the Southern accent and dress of King. Former president Andrew Jackson (1829- 1837) called the pair “Miss Nancy” and “Aunt Fancy,” which is a PRETTY sick burn when you consider the times.

> GEORGE H.W. BUSH (POTUS 1989-1993 — Republican)

It’s a sad fact of celebrity that the things we regular slobs do all the time are used as fodder for comedians, TV shows, and the Internet if one is even remotely famous. While driving down the freeway last February, for example, I felt an overwhelming urge to throw up, so I pulled over on the shoulder and booted right there, in broad daylight, as hundreds of cars drove by. Is it on the Internet? Nope. But President George H.W. Bush vomited on the Japanese prime minister in 1992, inspiring not only an honest-to-God popular expression in Japan (bushusuru — “to do the Bush thing”), but also thousands of snarky jokes and YouTube views. (Go ahead — look it up. Slow down the video. You see the whole thing. And pray that if you ever do that yourself, your significant other is as awesome as Barbara Bush when it happens.)

> LYNDON B’S “JUMBO” JOHNSON (POTUS 1963-1969 — Democrat)

Despite the fact that he began the job in the wake of the Kennedy assassination and was hobbled by the Vietnam War and civil unrest by the end of his term, Texan Lyndon Johnson was by most accounts a breath of fresh air in the White House, countering Kennedy’s Yankee reservedness with an earthiness that was sometimes shocking. Notoriously, LBJ made sure to let everyone from his tailor to members of Congress know that his own member was pretty big. In fact, he named it “Jumbo,” and anyone unlucky enough to encounter him in the men’s room would be treated to the president shaking it around and demanding: “Have you ever seen anything as big as this?”

> CALVIN COOLIDGE WINS A BET (POTUS 1923-1929 — Republican)

Speaking of Yankee reservedness, there was nothing jazzy about Jazz Age president Calvin Coolidge, who was nicknamed “Silent Cal” for his lack of loquacity. Born in Vermont and elected governor of Massachusetts before becoming vice president in Warren Harding’s scandal-plagued administration, Coolidge got the top job when his boss up and died. He preferred to leave the talking to his vivacious wife, Grace, at social functions where, according to one story, a local busybody told Coolidge she’d made a bet that she could get more than three words out of him. Without looking at her, Coolidge replied: “You lose.”

> GROVER SENDS YOU OVER (POTUS 1885-1889, 1893- 1897 — Democrat)

As our relatively young country matures, it gets harder to remember interesting tidbits about the presidents in the middle, like Grover Cleveland, who was the only president to be elected to two nonconsecutive terms. He was both the 22nd and 24th president, with Benjamin Harrison serving between the two terms. Prior to his presidency, Cleveland was a true Warden of the North in that he, as Sheriff of Erie County in northwestern New York, twice executed criminals himself. Unlike Ned Stark’s character, however, Cleveland dispatched the two men by hanging them.

> TWO THINGS ABOUT MILLARD FILLMORE (POTUS 1850-1853 — Whig)

Millard Fillmore, our 13th president, is renowned for being one of our most boring. But there are a couple of things that make him more interesting: (1) He was the last Whig to be president. Since he left office in 1853, every president has been either a Democrat or a Republican. (Say what you will about the Ross Perots, John Andersons, Gary Johnsons, and Jill Steins of the world, but really? A century and a half of the same two parties?) And (2) Fillmore named his daughter after himself. “Millard” was his mother’s maiden name and, in order to pass the name along, Fillmore named his daughter Millard. History does not say if he called her “Junior.”

> ROOSEVELT DIED WITH HIS GOOMAH IN THE ROOM (POTUS 1933-1945 — Democrat)

Franklin Roosevelt (the only president to be elected to four terms, and the one who led us out of the Great Depression with a slew of social programs that, if he were running today, would brand him a goddamn Communist) had a mistress that his wife, the long-suffering Eleanor, knew about. While working as the First Lady’s social secretary, Lucy Mercer and Roosevelt began an affair in 1916 — at least partially egged on by Eleanor’s own cousin (who certainly knew how to throw a sister under the bus). Eleanor discovered the affair and FDR vowed to end it, lest his dignified family be shamed. But the two continued to see each other over the years, in meetings arranged by the Roosevelts’ daughter, Anna. While sitting for a portrait commissioned by Mercer in the Georgia retreat of Warm Springs in 1945, Roosevelt said, “I have a terrific pain in the back of my head,” and collapsed of a stroke. He died two hours later.

> LIFE AND DEATH BUDDIES (Founding Fathers POTUS Pals)

For every Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr there’s a John Adams and Thomas Jefferson. The second and third presidents, respectively, Adams (1797-1801) and Jefferson (1801-1809) started out as bitter rivals (Jefferson once called Adams a “hermaphrodite”), but in the struggle and toil of crafting a nation out of nothing, they became great friends, writing lengthy and often contentious letters to one another long after they’d left office. Jefferson and Adams both died on July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the United States. Not knowing Jefferson had died several hours earlier, Adams on his deathbed uttered some version of: “At least Jefferson yet survives!”

> WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON (POTUS 1841 — Whig)

Our ninth president was 68 years old when he took office on March 4, 1841 (Inauguration Day was moved to January in 1937), and it was said that because William Henry Harrison wanted to prove his vitality, he purposefully rode a horse in the rain and delivered a two-hour speech, hatless and coatless, on a cold Washington morning. But that isn’t what killed him 30 days later. No, the White House was fairly close to a dumping ground for raw sewage (imagine!), and the new president came down with enteric fever — or typhus — about nine days before he died. So somewhere between the three inaugural balls he attended and the day-to-day business of running the country, W. H. Harrison ingested something contaminated with fecal matter and died of it. His was the shortest presidency in history, and he was the first president to die in office. And of poo, his Vice President, John Tyler, succeeded him.

> JOHN QUINCY ADAMS WAS A MURDEROUS PIMP (POTUS 1825-1829 — Republican)

It was once thought that 2008 was the most vicious political campaign in history, but it was a walk in the park compared to this year, right? [All this before anyone had witnessed the 2024 campaign debate between President Biden and candidate Trump. -Ed.]
Nevertheless, there has never been a “Golden Age” of American politics the way there has been for, say, porn, and we close this history lesson with a stern warning that words can hurt. The brutal 1828 campaign between President John Quincy Adams and Andrew Jackson (1829-1837) got so personal that Jackson believed it killed his wife, Rachel, who was accused of bigamy for courting Jackson while she was still technically married to another man. Jackson’s surrogates then accused Quincy Adams of pimping out his maid to a Russian czar while he was ambassador there. But the former charge stuck, and when Rachel suddenly died following her husband’s election, Jackson blamed it on the strain Quincy Adams and his supporters put on her and never forgave him. So, does #crookedhillary measure up to Miss Nancy? And does Trump’s mouth diarrhea hold his own against puking on the Prime Minister of Japan? Ultimately, the candidates’ fates rest in your capable hands. But find comfort knowing that the road to the White House was paved with shitbaggery and buffoonery long before this race.

Ah, the perilous POTUS path. … As introduced, this little bit of American history first published in our magazine during the original Donald Trump & MAGA vs Everybody Else election in 2016. While we have no interest in offering yet another media opinion or what should or should not be “proper” in any situation, let alone who “should” win where and what they should do afterwards,, this author will share a bit of personal experience: Simply ask anyone who has ever lived on a farm, and they will confirm a simple fact: You can find no way to clean a swamp that will not get mud all over you, and it will smell pretty darned foul in the process. … You could, of course, do lots of independent research starting here or even here.

Confidentially, Marica Hase

Marica Hase — Pet Confidential

While we understand that print publications have space limitations — not to mention inferiority complexes these days — one would think that they could do a little better with an introduction for someone who has to rank as one of the mightiest Pets ever, not to mention one of the most optimistic and cheerful. Quite literally, Marica Hase has few peers.

For example, Marica has a charming and unique way of sharing 25 Things No One Knows About Marica Hase, although we will confess to adding the 25th one ourselves, however. You will understand why.

  1. If I weren’t a Porn star/centerfold, I would be an author. I read 5-7 novels per week when I was a kid. I think an author and a porn star are kind of the same work, as they are both able to express themselves without feeling embarrassed.
  2. My 1st job was modeling for a girls’ fashion magazine.
  3. My nickname growing up was “Ringo” which means ‘an apple’ in Japanese. Because my cheeks were really pink.
  4. I love a certain Japanese snack that I can no longer name. I miss it, but I forgot what they call it. I’ve spent too long here in USA.
  5. When I was 18 I learned how to drive in Japan, but I didn’t drive much. I had to relearn driving when I moved to USA. My 1st car was a Volkswagen Beetle.
  6. I speak Japanese as my 1st language. I also speak some English.
  7. My favorite band is “Globe.”
  8. I like to cuddle with my cat to relax. His name is “Tenn” which means Angel.
  9. My hobby is swimming.
  10. I used to be a competitive swimmer, and I won a big swimming competition when I was growing up.
  11. I was born and raised in Tokyo, Japan. But I live in the USA now.
  12. The one thing I do every night before I go to sleep, and every morning when I wake up is check about the news in Japan on the internet.
  13. I always travel with a Novel. I am addicted to reading.
  14. My favorite food to eat is a Japanese food called Natto.
  15. I like to collect Cosplay outfits.
  16. My favorite meal to make is Fish combo in Japanese style.
  17. I just started swimming again to stay in shape.
  18. My favorite things to wear are Porn-style outfits, because I can become a different personality.
  19. I don’t sleep with my head facing north because you can die. It is a Japanese superstition.
  20. I don’t like chili beans.
  21. I have a latex allergy. I can’t use any toys made from latex.
  22. I broke my baby toe once.
  23. My favorite movie is Sex In The City. The ladies have work lives and love lives that are very attractive to me.
  24. My favorite color is pink. I love cute stuff. I want to be a girl forever.
  25. [Not a human being ever born can read Marica’s signature in English.]

To be very clear, when editing we work diligently to avoid changing the way someone writes which reflects their natural speech accurately. Long, long ago the wisest among us have learned that one should never poke fun at the way someone speaks English unless one can speak their native language fluently as well. We find it much like that whole trying to teach a pig to sing thing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig. (Also, it makes you look like an uncouth idiot, which admittedly might be accurate at that particular moment.)

As per our custom, we prevailed upon lovely (and dear) Sam Phillips to reach out and see what might be new with Ms. Marica Hase, which she did, clearly adding to the lovely and dear reputation.

What have you been doing professionally since we last spoke? (Haven’t you been doing productions for Japanese companies etc,)

Marica Hase Signature (Really. Swear.)Since I met you last time I found uterine cancer. And it’s already over. I won again!!!! Hihihihihi

Yes I know I beat cancer two times (breast and uterus now). Everybody is so sweet to me. So They say “I am so sorry.” … But I became stronger mentally and physically through my experiences.

I am still doing porn, but I have started to focus on all entertainment jobs with
mainstream movies, TV shows and even mainstream events … (I include more details at question #2 coming up.)

Also, while not “work” you asked about, but as MARICA HASE I want to show my strong mental and physical strength, especially for cancer patients or people around them to offer support.

I even tried to run the Honolulu marathon last year. It was my 1st time running a marathon. And I finished running 26.2 miles (42.195k)!

What are some cool jobs you have done in the last few years? Catch me up!

Since I am back in the industry from fighting my breast cancer. I got my 11th trophy to be included in “Hall of Fame.”

I want to show/create my passion in front of the camera throughout my life. I really love working in the porn industry. And I never think that I want to retire. … I really love to create, so I am thinking porn is one of the tools. Now I have started to try other tools too.

I started acting in mainstream movies. And I did voice over work for anime. Also, I started to host Anime Matsuri which is the 2nd largest anime event in the USA. I am hosting on the stage. But as you know my English is broken, so I sometimes can’t understand. Then I ask customers, “Somebody translate for me?”

It works! Everybody is laughing. And it is an Anime event so somebody can speak Japanese.

Also, I am attending a Porn event in Taiwan every year. My fans say, ” Oh I was your fan when you started porn in Japan, but you moved to the USA … so I really can’t believe I can see you in person”

I am so happy that I could see many of my fans in the world. I really want to make them happy through my performance as much as they make me happy. Also, I have some biiiiiiiiiiiiig project. So please stay with Marica Hase forever!

I really enjoy everything.

Tell me a little about your cats, how many do you have and how old are they now?

I live with two cats and one dog now. When I met you last time, I believe I lived with only two cats. My 1st cat passed away last spring. He moved to the USA from Japan with me. Since then he has been my best partner. We talked to each other about everything. We hold watch each other every night on the bed. He is my best son. He is my best friend. He is my everything.

His name was TENN, which means an angel in Japanese. He became a real angel, but he is still with me. I ordered jewelry made from his ashes. So he is still with me and we talk every day.

Also, I have a second son. His name is “TARO” …. Just typical Japanese boy’s name like MIKE or JON. Because he and his family used to live in front of my place, which is a street cat. I was feeding him every day. so I needed to give him a temporary name. I did not want to catch him. I know Tenn is super jealous, but it is too late. I started to love him. So I caught him and this family then found a forever home, including my home for TARO.

My 3rd cat name’s “NATSUYASUMI.” His name means summer vacation in Japanese. Because I wanted him to play very hard like a kid and play very hard during summer vacation. And I feel he is TENN’s reincarnation. He does everything like when TENN does. Except one thing … He is Pica. So he eats everything. wall, plastic, my hair, bed. … There was a huge carpet by my bed, but he ate everything. So I need to be extra careful. But I am super happy that I adopted him. If somebody lost him, maybe the person will return to him. Because he is too much. But I really love him.

Also, I adopted 16-yr-old dog. His name is Loki. He is blind but has too much energy. I want to make him super happy for the rest of his life.

OMG! toooooo much animals hahaha. I live for them.

Can you tell the story about how Boosan came to be?

His name is “BUUSAN” lol. One day, My Japanese agency brought Buusan to my place. Then he introduced me “Hi. I am BUUSAN. I came here to support Marica.” I believe this was when I was around 27 years old. So I was a little bit old to play with him. lol. If people ask, I always answer, “He was with me since I was baby” to them. Because I am embarrassed. lol

Over the years since I met him, I made his IG account. I go everywhere with him. I post all my journey on my YouTube channel with him. Now he is really famous. He was even booked for actual magazine cover shoot and centerfold shoot with me. He became an award-winning pig.

There is an XBIZ content creator award called “BAZOWIE.” Buusan and I won 4 years in a row in the category for “Best Human/Adorable Critter Collaboration (Suidae Division)” and “Quirkiest Accomplishment” too. They gave us a very beautiful trophy. Now we have 5 trophies as “MARICA HASE AND BUUSAN THE PIG.”

This makes me very happy. Because I do not want to be just a sexy porn star I want to show more personality and creativity.

Marica Hase and Buusan The PigWe always try to be honest around here, if for no other reason that if people want to hear lies and half-truths, all they have to do would be turn on the news. Doesn’t matter which network, or where you put yourself on the political spectrum. Media has become about clicks, where scandal and outrage drive the machine. Speaking of clicks, that cute little Buusan has over 5,000 followers as you may have noticed if you clicked on his link. Following Buusan, though, that we can get behind. Marica has her own Instagram, if you’re curious, and even an “X” identity, which seems oddly appropriate, considering. … As for the final photograph here of the stars of our show today, Sam Phillips sent it in when one of the old people that remembers trustworthy news shows sent her a text and asked about Buusan. It would be wrong not to include it, of course.

Bottom line, if you can read all of that about Marica and not fall just a little bit in love, you should probably call your doctor as soon as possible. You have a problem with your heart.

Tasha Reign

Meet Your Meat … Tasha Reign

You may know me as Tasha Reign, porn actress, model, and all-around sex vixen. I chose this profession; I wasn’t duped, or coerced, or sold into it. I love my job and am thankful for all the opportunities the adult industry has afforded me. I worked damn hard in school and graduated from UCLA. Countless overnighters, term papers, midterms, and final exams, all juggled with my blossoming career in the porn industry. It was a luxury—making adult films with the mind-set of a women’s studies major at a prestigious institution, fueling my drive to change the world while paying for my college education.

I am a feminist. I make art with my body. I make money with my body, too. This is my choice and my right. A woman should have full autonomy over her own body—be it having sex on camera or wearing a burkini on a beach somewhere in France. But it’s difficult for people to grasp the idea that someone can be both sexual and intellectual. These traits are not mutually exclusive. I have a brain. I am capable of free thought and complex emotions. And, I have sex on camera because I enjoy it. Bow to me.

But being a sex worker comes with its own unique, often overlooked, set of challenges, to say the least. And we are frequently blamed for many of the social problems that mainstream society would rather not acknowledge.

As a porn star, even dating can be frustrating. Every night there is a barrage of pro athletes, comedians, and other confident gentlemen sliding into my social media and hitting me on DM to “hang out,” or “date,” or “fly me out.”

Most recently, there was an NHL player who pursued me. It started off fine–friendly banter over Instagram. He liked my body, I liked his…and soon we graduated to texting. He was very charming and romantic. He wanted to meet in person, so he bought me a ticket to fly out and see him. It was lovely. I really enjoyed his company.

In the beginning of our courtship, he was very sweet. But as time went on, something in his brain switched and our romance rapidly devolved. He expressed anger at my “first interracial scene.” I thought he was joking, but he was very serious. Apparently, it didn’t bother him that I did scenes with other men, but their race was an issue. Finally, he punctuated our brief interaction with a few texts. Nicer ones like, “I’m just not looking for a serious relationship,” “I’m just not at the place in my life,” and “I just don’t want to share you.” And not-so-nice ones like, “Your parents can’t be proud of you,” and “You’re a slut.”

Unfortunately, this behavior is pretty typical. This guy actively sought me out because of who I am, was interested in dating me because of who I am, but because he couldn’t deal with the reality of who I am, tried to shame me in an effort to make himself feel better about his own shortcomings.

But he is not alone in his actions.

During my days as a college student, I was confronted by a fellow “feminist” while guest lecturing on a panel about feminism and the adult industry. This woman was looking for a fight. She scathed that she had seen a porn video in which a man called a woman a “whore” and a “stupid slut.” She aggressively disapproved. What she failed to realize is that the adult industry is a business predicated on supply and demand. The industry didn’t create the idea or the practice of degrading women. On the contrary, the video was made because there was a demand for it, by men and women. Porn is an objective reflection of what the market—and society at large—wants. Turn our culture into a feminist one, and porn will follow.

“You are perpetuating these attitudes in a society that oppresses women!” she announced. “How could you be so naive?”
“Naive.” That’s always the assumption. I was her fellow student. I was lecturing her, sharing my experiences. Yet somehow I’m dumb or gullible, because, to her, porn stars do what they do because they aren’t smart enough to do anything else. That stigma has been drilled into us from the time we identify what a “whore” is. For a porn star, this kind of sexual shaming is an everyday reality.

No matter how educated I become, no matter how much I write and accomplish and enlighten and fight, I will always be reduced by this kind of so-called feminist to what I do for a living. I wanted to shout that at her. But I was rendered unable to speak or move. I was almost in tears, actually.

I fail to see what much of the world sees—I fail to see what’s wrong with having and enjoying sex on camera. And while the social issues I encounter because of my work are all too real, there are many other financial, legal, and safety issues I face that punish me for living the honest life I have chosen.

Think keeping your legally earned and taxable income at a bank is a walk in the park? It is if you’re not a sex worker. It’s not that simple for me. Banks have the “right” to choose whose money they want associated with their business. In recent years, hundreds of performers have had their Chase bank accounts frozen and/or shut down due to being affiliated with this legal business we call pornography. I’ve had numerous accounts closed on me as well.

Can you imagine if your bank closed your account because of your job? Or because of your religion? Or because of your sexual preference? It’s demoralizing, like they think that my money and I are tainted. I wonder how many Chase executives watch porn, only to wash up, go to work, and deny me the basic universal privilege of a low-interest savings account. What if doctors and lawyers magically lost favor with banks? Or blue-collar workers?

The banking system, however, is emblematic of a larger issue: a lack of legal protections and advocacy for people who work in the sex industry.

If a college girl goes to a frat party and gets raped or assaulted, it’s widely (and correctly) seen as a tragedy. No normal person would think otherwise. But if I was still in college and I went to a frat party (which I steered clear of during my years on campus) and got raped or assaulted, what kind of prejudices do you think the police, a judge, and jury would bring to that trial?

In February 2014, a Duke freshman alleged that she was raped and was immediately discredited (in court and by her community) when it was revealed that she had starred in pornographic films. The message was clear: We are rape-able. I guess that when I decided to make a living with my body and my sexuality, I signed over my human rights as well. Yes, adult film stars are consenting adults in movies, but that certainly doesn’t mean we are universally consenting to all sexual acts. How is this so hard to understand?

Don’t worry about me. I will continue to thrive in a career that I love. But I would also like some semblance of a sane social life, a reliable bank account, equal legal protection, and to engage in a normal conversation with someone from the mainstream every once in a while. Attacking a sex worker is fairly easy, but I fear that the problems I face are more deeply rooted in our collective DNA as a way for some to protect themselves against a larger societal shame that limits their life choices.

So my question remains: If I have the balls to get naked on camera, why don’t so many others have the balls to fucking get over themselves?

Members can see more – anatomically – of Tasha Reign over at PenthouseGold, of course, but while admittedly our June, 2011, Pet of the Month has great physical beauty, we still tend to appreciate her brain the most. Now, granted, most of us have been seeing beautiful and sexually-liberated women around regularly for years, but given that, consider our expertise when we tell you that the brain remains no matter what time does to the rest of the body. We love that.

For more on feminism in these very pages, look to Legacy. You might think more about industry women in general by not going very far either. Think about the power of sexual identity. Or even consider the thoughts of another famous Pet, should you wish. Of course, there are any number of outside considerations of the theory regarding sex workers and feminism. You may search easily and at length for either support or dismissal of the Tasha Reign themes herein, actually. Although to be clear, not many of those have our level of illustration. Nobody ever said learning had to be boring.

Astor Place as a Metaphor

The Astor Place Riot of 1849

[Consider the political mentality present at Astor Place. We’ll provide perspective.]

America’s testy relationship with Shakespeare is nothing new.

The theater is a great place to make a point. Take, for instance, this past June, when members of the alt-right rushed the stage at New York’s Shakespeare in the Park to protest the title character’s more-than-passing resemblance to President Trump in a production of Julius Caesar.

Part publicity stunt, part narrow-mindedness from people who clearly haven’t seen a lot of theater, the Public Theater protests grabbed headlines. But they were far from unprecedented. In fact, Americans have a testy relationship with Shakespeare that dates back centuries — and compared to the most violent such blow-up in U.S. history, this kerfuffle looks downright adorable.

A grainy video that got retweeted a bunch of times? Okay, how about 10,000 Macbeth fans battling armed militiamen in the streets of lower Manhattan? Welcome to the Astor Place Riot of 1849.

The first thing to know is that in nineteenth-century America, Shakespeare was not an acquired taste. He was beloved by rich and poor alike, and his works were everywhere. Alexis de Tocqueville, touring the country in the 1830s, was shocked to find copies of his plays in the most far-flung frontier cabins. any towns even had hotels and saloons named after the Bard.

Americans loved Shakespeare, but for a young nation trying to carve out its own identity, there was baggage, too. Stateside audiences had grown tired of the usual (read: English) ways of performing the Bard, a cerebral style associated with William Charles Macready, a British actor who was widely acclaimed as the best of his generation. Contrast that with a guy like Edwin Forrest, America’s first homegrown star, who was higher energy and more physical on the stage. Theatergoers across the U.S. argued over who was the better actor, and the argument went well beyond aesthetics: It all fed into the country’s larger divide between wealthy English interests and working-class American ones. Something had to give.

As it happened, both Macready and Forrest were set to perform Macbeth on the same night in May 1849, just a few blocks apart. The trouble started a few days earlier, when hundreds of Forrest supporters infiltrated the audience of the Brit-friendly Astor Place Theatre and booed Macready before he’d even uttered a word. They held up a banner reading, “NO APOLOGIES — IT IS TOO LATE.”

Within minutes the cast was being pelted with eggs, apples, potatoes, bits of wood, coins, vials of medicine, and at least one old shoe. Macready tried to go on with the show anyway — until a rowdy saloon-keeper hurled a chair at him.

Back in his hotel room, the actor was poised to quit and return to England for good, but a letter signed by forty-odd American intellectuals, including Washington Irving and Herman Melville, convinced him to stick around for one final performance at Astor Place.

To ensure the theater’s safety, on the morning of May 10, the mayor assembled 800 policemen, plus volunteer state militia in the form of cavalry, infantry, and light artillery. Sure enough, by the time Macready’s show opened at 7:30 that evening, 10,000 angry New Yorkers had gathered in the streets around the Astor Place. Anti-British protestors started pelting the theater with cobblestones from a nearby construction site; others tried (and failed) to set the building on fire, while the play was still going on inside. Even when the police and militia arrived, at around 9 P.M., the mob held the upper hand. Until, that is, they decided to start shooting. Musket fire filled the air, and then bodies — of protestors and innocent bystanders like — hit the ground. Some were carried into the Astor Place Theatre to safety, where American blood seeped into British velvet benches.

By the time the smoke had cleared, hours later, more than 25 civilians were dead. Upwards of 50 soldiers had been wounded. At least that many citizens, too. Wagons were pulled down Broadway to retrieve bodies from the surrounding shops and benches. All told, it was the bloodiest military event involving civilians the country had seen since the Revolution.

In addition to causing so much death and destruction, the Astor Place Riot ended up further solidifying the class divide in New York, and deepened the emerging gulf in the country between “high” and “low” culture. But the alt-right of today should take note: Even when surrounded by actual gunfire, the show could not be stopped. In fact, one critic wrote that he never saw a better finale of Macbeth than he did from Macready that night.

Hey, “Always leave them wanting more,” lives as the central performance standard, right? Borrowing from a different title, although almost certainly also performed at Astor Place, perhaps the more accurate question, at least as far as everyday life goes, would be, “To see or not to see?” … That tends to be the most common issue we face. You see? … And if you wish to Astor Place Theater these days, apparently you can do that again. You probably should not bring muskets.

By the way, Michael Hingston is a writer based in Edmonton, Alberta. He was our Senior Editor’s kindergarten boyfriend. [Just editorially, he should have stuck with her, as she would eventually be Executive Editor of this publication for a time, and superior person for always.]

Fort Knox

Our Golden Secret in Fort Knox

Mention Fort Knox and most people think of the massive mountain of gold stored in the United States Bullion Depository. The Kentucky outpost does indeed hold a chunk of the federal treasury’s precious metal, which recently amounted to 147.3 million ounces. But one could argue Fort Knox’s real riches reside in the nearby military installation of the same name that has become a model of energy resiliency and efficiency as it has the ability to run indefinitely off the grid.

The journey to such sustainability has taken more than 20 years and counting — along with some trial and error. It also followed decades of solely receiving natural gas and coal-fueled electrical power from Louisville Gas & Electric (LG&E).

A wind turbine project was tested at Knox in the 1990s, but the state’s lack of consistent wind meant that option was lost on the breeze. That was followed up with a solar array of about 10,000 panels established on 10 acres of land. The array is still in use today, but due to the area’s temperate weather, its output fluctuates. Knox’s energy program manager R.J. Dyrdek says the array can produce about 2.1 megawatts of power. But the installation’s needs are far greater.

Next, the energy crew turned their attention to Kentucky’s underground caves to harness geothermal technology to utilize the Earth’s natural temperatures for heating and cooling.

“The idea is that the ground below 48 inches deep is roughly 55 degrees all year,” says Jason Root, director of the Fort Knox Directorate of Public Works. “In the summertime, 55 degrees is great because you can use that temperature to help absorb air-conditioning heat from the cooling process in the summer. In the winter, 55 degrees helps as you attempt to cool the soil further, having the heat generated in the air conditioning process sent to the building to heat it. This is done via deep wells and sealed water piping called ground source heat pumps.”

This effort has proven successful with at least 250 facilities using it. Additionally, Knox has established well fields to circulate water for most of the base’s buildings.

“It’s about three times as efficient as buying an electric heater and standard air conditioner at your house,” Dyrdek explains. “It saves us money and can pay back the added expense of pipes and wells in under eight years.”

However, that system showed its limitations in 2009 when an ice storm affected the outside utility power lines connected to the base.

“We didn’t have power for 10 days,” Dyrdek recalls.

That meant there was also no heat or water, and Dyrdek acknowledges, “That quickly became way more important than just no lights.”

Root adds, “That ice storm forced us into a completely new way of understanding energy and approaching resilience and security.”

The team then eyed a system of decentralized power generation, which ultimately carried a $62 million price tag. Natural gas deposits below Fort Knox were tapped as a source of electricity-spinning fuel, which would eliminate Knox’s reliance on local utilities and result in less of an environmental impact than diesel or coal.

Starting in 2010, multiple 700-foot-deep wells were drilled to capture biogenic methane discovered at the edge of the base. Not all of them remain open today, but 20 are still useable and some are in full production.

Just over a decade ago, Knox’s energy team also received permission to purchase and directly access natural gas from a nearby transcontinental pipeline.

Fuel from the two sources is sent to a compressor site that purifies the gas from the Knox-run wells and combines it with the purchased pipeline gas. That is then sent to six on-post substations to provide the majority of Knox’s power grid needs.

Despite the upfront costs, Dyrdek says the investment has continued to pay off. While Knox still does use some electricity from LG&E, he points out that in July 2015 alone, the generators saved the base more than $400,000!

A large chunk of that savings is chalked up to the system’s automated central control hub, which can ramp up more of Fort Knox’s own power to answer increasing demand — and provide Knox with the ability purchase lower-cost electricity in off-peak hours from LG&E.

If needed, Knox can even continue to operate if its power is cut from the outside. In late 2022, the utility company had to briefly shut power to the base — but Knox was able to have their own system fully functional within 90 minutes.

Knox’s gas-powered plan is also being praised for having less of a carbon footprint than coal-fired systems. As natural gas is extracted, heat is captured at a generator and sent to an absorption chiller. That equipment transforms the excess heat into cooling energy for distribution — instead of it being ejected into the environment. For Knox, that adds up to 600 tons of air-conditioning at no added cost!

“The absorption chiller pumps all this free heat into the bottom of this pressure cooker, and that lithium bromide changes phase. It goes from a gas to a liquid. It absorbs a massive amount of heat, so the water in that same pressure cooker turns cold,” Dyrdek says. “You make chilled water from heat.”

Now, the Department of Defense is studying Knox’s efforts to determine if they’re scalable at other installations. But Fort Knox’s staff is not done striving for improvement.

Funded by part of a Department of Energy grant, the base is designing and purchasing an electrochemical fuel cell and battery storage in a bid to use natural gas to produce more environmentally friendly electricity.

Root says, “These fuel cells, even though they’re using natural gas, it has 50 percent less carbon dioxide emissions just by the way it processes.”

The total effort is still a work in progress. However, Root explains, “It takes time to move things through a legislative process, a design process, a construction process, an implementation process. “Our job is to take as many steps as we can, hand the baton to somebody else, and then let them continue moving that forward.”

Dyrdek has expressed hope that the future may one day include benefits that extend beyond the base.

“Currently, the military can’t put power back into a community, so we don’t want to have too much,” says Dyrdek. “If they get some of the legislative and regulatory issues resolved, we could help the community when they need power, or we could run by ourselves when they don’t need to supply us.

“There are big solutions if we can technologically make the fuel cells work. Then we could potentially be even better partners to our community.”

Since the “Gold Standard” disappeared officially over fifty years ago in 1971, when the U.S. would no longer trade paper dollars for gold upon request, we do find it heartening to hear that Fort Knox has not lost its relevance. Indeed, ol’ Knox may be playing an even important role these days. Should you be one of those admirable people who enjoys seeing what America has to offer, a trip to Kentucky could fit into your schedule. Of course while the military history in the area might be fascinating to some among us, if you’re going to go all the way to Kentucky, you really should try the bourbon. Just sayin’…

Kim Arrow

Kim Arrow: Cupid’s Angel

The beautiful Kim Arrow hits the bullseye with her sweet personality, captivating eyes, and gorgeous physique. The multi-talented blonde beauty not only cam models but is also a photographer who seeks out unique interactions, life experience, and intellectually intriguing situations that help her to create meaningful connections in a world of desire.

Kim Arrow — Style and SavvySelf-described as determined, focused, and true to herself, Kim Arrow delivers feminine power and confidence in front of the camera that mirror the qualities she admires in others, such as the celebrity she admires most, Angelina Jolie. Read on to learn more about the beautiful Kim Arrow and enjoy her divine photos with Penthouse!

As for the basics::

Height: “170cm”
Measurements: “B75”
Native Country: Romania

What do you consider romantic?
Sharing the last piece of chocolate.

What is the biggest turn-on for you?
Being spoken to without words. Saying everything without saying anything. It’s just the eye contact that speaks loud and clear.

What is your favorite fantasy?
Obedience.

Describe your ideal man/woman.
Kind, smart, independent, a smile that melts your heart, a voice that can make you orgasm by only listening, honest, genuine with eyes only for me.

Well, we learned that much from the magazine, but we prevailed upon Ms. Arrow to share a bit more. Just to be clear, we never fear asking, and we always have someone else to blame depending upon the response.

What is your favorite thing about your job?
My favorite thing about my job, both of my jobs, model and photographer, is the fact that I get to interact with different people, getting to know different personalities (good and bad), which I consider a beneficial experience for life.

What do you like to do in your spare time?
I like to go in the gym and do my workouts, cook, clean my house, watch a movie or two while my 2 cats surround me with love. I also talk with my best friend regularly to have some laughs, or cry together, depending on the situation. hahaha

Do you have any favorite tv shows and movies?
Vikings, Game of Thrones, Stranger Things, Tulsa, Penguin, Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit, Dirty Dancing, Pretty Woman, Harry Potter … and the list can go on and ol. I really enjoy Adventure, Romance, Horror and Sci-Fi movies and shows.

Favorite sports?
Definitely the gym,

Favorite way to get a workout?
Good music that increases my power, feeling rested, and having the gym as empty as possible. hahaha

Describe your ideal date.
We start at 2 AM, suit and tie, dress and heels, McDonald’s via a BMW E46.

What’s your favorite way to relax?
Searching for new outfits to buy.

What is the most daring thing you have ever done?
Clucked like a chicken while running around my room, flapping my arms for the camera while I was online.

When you are dating a new person, when and how do you know if you want to have sex with him/her?
I know in the moment I get turned on by who he really is as a person.

What do you think is the hottest movie sex scene?
I think it was in The Notebook. It was a heavy rainy day, and they were kissing, even before they got inside the house. The kiss evolved into a passionate making love scene where he picks her up and goes into the bedroom where they melt into each other’s arms because of the pleasure.

Illuminating Kim Arrow

One would expect to find Kim Arrow on Twitter (or whatever we’re supposed to call it these days, even though “X” just sounds like being intentionally obtuse). The more personal interaction, would be on Flirt 4 Free, however. Having done the obligatory plugs, we will now confess that should we ever need a model for a motorcycle ad or a haunted house, now we know exactly where to look.