You never know when something from the past might spring into a current set of events, but around here when that happens, we might possibly enjoy it more than people do at some companies. It can be brutal work, but, hey, somebody’s got to do it.

SoFrantic (she says)

A few weeks back we ran a Legacy article on “Women in Rock” here, and during the conversation, someone mentioned Ms. SoFrantic, the Cybercutie in the October, 2018, issue of our magazine who also happens to fit into that category, at least aspiringly. Obviously we had to dig up the “assets” from that shoot which led us to a surprising discovery that this “magazine” shoot had a plethora of PG shots available to us. Never ones to waste a plethora of PG, we hauled out the archive and started having fun. (We mean work diligently, of course.)

You and your mechanic live in an adorable bus that you turned into a mobile home. How is life on the road?

SoFrantic: Aw, thank you. I’m very proud of our tiny-home! This trip has been such a huge adventure. When people think about traveling, they typically think about traveling abroad. However, this country has such a variety of landscapes. U.S. topography ranges from canyons to geysers to cities to caves to plains. Within two months, I’ve been able to explore them all.

What’s the name of your bus? Big Titty…something? Bertha! Big Titty Bertha!

SoFrantic: That’s right!

Why did you name her that?

SoFrantic: Well, my mechanic and I were originally deciding between two buses. The more expensive bus was called “Big Titty Bertha” because I cat-called her when I saw her, and the more realistically priced bus was named “More Realistically Priced Bertha.” They were $1,500 apart in cost, but the salesman was super sweet and dropped the price of Big Titty Bertha to match the price of its more affordable competition. The rest is history.

Out of everywhere you’ve traveled in the U.S., where do you feel the calmest?

SoFrantic: Zion National Park, hands down. Zion gave me everything I wanted: the views, the hiking, the vegetation, the wildlife, and all without the tourists. Definitely reserve a permit to do the Subway canyon hike at least once in your life.

Which is the most underrated state in America?

SoFrantic: Utah! The state has such diverse wildlife and terrain. In Salt Lake, you’re able to enjoy the perks of city living while encircled by mountains. It was quite a sight watching Fourth of July fireworks shimmer over the peaks of the Wasatch Range.

What about the most overrated state?

SoFrantic: Nevada for sure. The National Atomic Testing Museum and Erotic Heritage Museum were the only really interesting things in Vegas. I don’t gamble or drink, so I didn’t expect Vegas to be my kind of place anyways. Outside the city are just dead, sandy plains roasting in 110-degree barrenness.

Tell us about all the rad features you and your mechanic installed in your mobile home.

SoFrantic: Luckily, the two of us have a background in home renovation, which came in handy constructing the bus. We’ve installed a 200-watt solar-panel system, running water, a bypass from the alternator to the house battery, and new flooring, while also having more homey features like a dining nook, a functional kitchen, closet space, and a full-size bed.

How many miles have you clocked so far?

SoFrantic: 7,000 miles so far! And things are just getting started!

Lastly, what’s on your road-trip soundtrack?

SoFrantic: I want to say something like the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Greatest Hits, but my dog barking at squirrels is probably more accurate.

For what it may be worth, you can join PenthouseGold if you wish to see a more personal interview with Ms. SoFrantic, although you will not find it as physically revealing as some others you might see there. Turns out that women can be interesting even with their clothes on. Go figure.

You can occasionally tell a good bit about a person simply from the name they chose to use professionally. For example “Ima Freak” would work as a positive a lot more in some businesses than in others. From our perspective, having spent some time with the lass, we might give her “frantic” perhaps, though she seemed very far from hopless to us. Her social media seems to catch her attention only sporadically — somewhat fittingly it seems — Reddit “might” be her top choice? … Hopeless definitely has some fun cam shows out there you can search for if you wish, but we’re never 100% of the current rules about links, so we’d best not. Her presence on YouTube fits right into her unique personality, though.

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