Dave Attell’s Sleepless Roadshow
As an acclaimed comic whose lightning wit and inclusive disposition have won him a devoted following of college-age fans, the star and creator of Insomniac With Dave Attell could hang with the Hollywood types who’ve been trying to jump on his traveling bandwagon.
Veteran performer Dave Attell is one of the few comedians working today who wants nothing more from his career than to be a respected stand-up act. Yet Attell has, almost reluctantly, become much more than that, thanks to the success of his Comedy Central series, Insomniac With Dave Attell. The nightlife travelogue program has grown from a show with a cult following to a legitimate smash hit, and made the morose, chain-smoking funnyman a hero to millions. And after six years, the 40-year-old Attell appears to have finally settled under fame’s spotlight — kicking, screaming, and, of course, drinking the entire way.
The New York Times described Insomniac With Dave Attell as “a doubly rare beast, a comedy without rancor and a travel show about the virtues of the American underdog.” That last phrase is a reference to the roster of second-tier cities that Attell routinely visits — places like Boise, Idaho; Little Rock, Arkansas; and Morgantown, West Virginia — along with the New Yorks and Chicagos. Prowling these cities’ streets, dive bars, and back rooms, Attell — an admitted barfly — makes his living by shining a light on a wide array of late-night lifestyles and goings-on, regularly scoring with sharp and funny comments along the way.
Attell — who looks, in his own words, like “Andre Agassi gone to seed” — comes off as a regular joe on Insomniac. But make no mistake: Attell ’s career accomplishments are impressive, to say the least. After starring on HBO Comedy Showcase in March 1995, he went on to tape his own half-hour special for HBO, which aired in 1997. He has made numerous appearances on Late Show With David Letterman, Late Night With Conan O’Brien, Last Call With Carson Daly, The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, and The Howard Stern Show during his 18-year career. He also wrote for Saturday Night Live, appeared in the Chris Rock film Pootie Tang, and in the TV shows Arrested Development, Ed, Drew Carey’s Mr. Vegas All-Star Party, Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn, and his own half-hour stand-up special on Comedy Central.
In 1998, Attell was nominated for an American Comedy Award for best male stand-up, and he’s been touring the country ever since. His blunt style and command of the stage also scored in Europe. Reviewing one of Attell’s performances in London in July 1997, the Evening Standard wrote, “One day streets will be named after him.”
Attell has also released a comedy CD, Skanks for the Memories, and the recently completed (and charmingly titled) DVD Hey, Your Mouths Not Pregnant.
To help spread his unholy gospel, Attell traveled the country by bus during the summer in a no-holds-barred stand-up tour called “Comedy Central Live!!! Dave Attell: The Insomniac Tour,” which finished up in — where else? — Las Vegas. I caught up with him during a brief pit stop in New York City.
How does it feel to be living the rock-star life on your own rock-star-like tour bus?
It was definitely time for a tour bus! There’s nothing better than pulling up in a tour bus in front of a half-full theater.
So even though you’re traveling like a rock star, you’re not living the rock-star life.
I’m not. I come into town like a rock star and I leave like a salesman.
No offense, but if it was Bon Jovi’s mug on the side of that bus instead of yours, things might be different.
Well, we have gotten some honks from people on the highway. But I think it’s mostly people who want us to move out of the way or go faster.
Living on a luxury tour bus can’t be all bad. What’s the upside?
Actually, it’s the best. I’ve been performing stand-up for so long, and usually in comedy you fly into town, do the show, and fly out the next day. In between that, there’s a lot of drinking and almost hooking up. So you’re in a state of constant movement. But with the bus, you can just get drunk, pass out, and wake up in the next town. It’s a magical way of traveling. Although it does get a little claustrophobic on there because it’s me, the tour manager, my opening act, and the driver.
What do you do to pass the long hours traveling from city to city?
Well, there’re only so many Girls Gone Wild tapes you can watch.
Speaking of wild girls, does a comedy tour bus attract groupies?
The problem with a bus is that we leave town that same night. So we’re under the gun to hook up within about two hours after the show. So I’ll do the show, sign some T-shirts and DVDs, and hopefully we’ll hit a bar, and maybe there’ll be somebody there who’s interested. But I think the majority of girls have been taught by their grandmothers that if you go on a tour bus, you’re not going to be playing poker. Poke her, maybe, but not poker. If you want my opinion, I think comedy attracts more of the thinking-type ho than it does the rock chick. A lot of the times I’ll see girls standing by the front of the bus, but it’s usually because they need directions. To answer your question, sure we drink it up and party, but we’re not even on the same level as Hanson.
You and I spoke back in 2002. At the time, you didn’t know if your Comedy Central gig would last. Now we’re getting close to four years later and the show is more popular than ever. Are you surprised by your success?
[Long pause] I am. I’m even more surprised by how many doors the show opened for me.
In what way?
In terms of promoting my stand-up and some TV and film stuff. But when it comes down to it, at the end of the day, you can never relax or just sit back. A stand-up comic always has to be out there doing it and coming up with new material. And when you take it to the level of doing theaters, there’s a lot of pressure to fill it up. In a club, if you get 800 people to the show, you’re a hero. In a theater, if you get 800, the people who booked you look at you like, Wow, this is a wash! We should’ve gotten John Edward [of Crossing Over semi-fame] to read our souls instead!
“Personally, I don’t think being on TV is the ultimate thing. Just being on TV isn’t the end-all. But this generation feels that it’s very important for them to be on TV for some reason. TV is like their space program. They need to be on Real World or Road Rules.”
You once said to me, “I drink and smoke way too much. It’s killing me.” Do you still feel that way?
I definitely do all those things too much. It’s hard on a tour because there’s so much temptation, whether it’s strip clubs or booze, whatever. There’s just so much temptation to party it up and not take care of yourself. I don’t know what to say. I really don’t know. I think after this tour I need to get off the road a little bit and take care of myself.
Do you think you’re an alcoholic?
Yeah, I am. I’m like a 1950s drunk. I work hard and I drink hard. I’m not the kind of drunk who’s dying for a drink. I’m not really that guy. I like to drink toward the end of my show. A lot of the kids want to see me drunk. So it’s really hard not to be around it. And I do like the bar culture. It’s just harder for me to hang in the bars because it becomes this Insomniac kind of sausage festival.
Are there any places you can go where booze is served and no one buys you a shot?
Baghdad. The problem is that I spend so much time promoting these theater tours that when I go to the bar and someone comes up to me and says, “What are you doing in town?” I’ll think, [yelling] What? I just spent two days doing radio shows trying to get people into the theater! So I really don’t even know what to say to these people when they come up to me. I like to buy my own booze, and I like to buy shots for anyone who’s around me, because I appreciate the fans and I know that we’re all kind of in the same boat. But it does get creepy because when people see you on TV, they expect something from you.
Are you funnier drunk or sober?
I don’t think people understand me. Me and [Howard Stern sidekick] Artie Lange have the same following. We’re both hard drinkers. Artie is a good buddy of mine and I think he’s super funny. He’s just naturally gifted as a comedian. He and I have this thing about our drinking. We would drink even if we weren’t on TV. We would drink if we worked for UPS. But people see us drinking and it brings out the hidden alcoholic in them. They’ll buy us drinks, and when you don’t drink every drink that’s bought for you, they feel cheated. But we’re both just two guys who have a liver. And by the way, we only have one liver each. We don’t have a special comedy liver.
Your show is successful, and your name, your face, and your voice have become very recognizable. Despite all that, you’ve managed to fly under the paparazzi radar. Meanwhile, your Comedy Central colleague, Dave Chappelle, has reached superstar status. What gives?
Comedy Central really doesn’t promote my show the way they promote Dave’s show. I think Dave is one of the best comics in America. He definitely has a lot more to say and do than I do. I hope he can work out his problems, because everybody loves that show. It’s a breakout hit, and he really did something very funny and different.
I agree that Dave is a very funny guy, but so are you. So where’s your $50 million deal?
My show is flying under the radar because it’s a reality-based show. I really didn’t want to promote it. The more you promote a show like mine, the harder it is to do. Its success was based more on word of mouth. The problem with my show is that it draws people who are more fans of TV than they are of comedy. So when they see me live, I always feel that they’re a little disappointed. I’m not the guy they see on television. In real life I’m dirtier and harder-edged. I think that puts people off a little bit. Plus it makes me a little stiff when I’m onstage.
Why?
Because I don’t want to disappoint the true comedy fans. But there are also the TV fans who I feel need a baptism to my kind of comedy.
Do you see yourself as a celebrity?
I would not say I’m a success or a celebrity. I don’t live that life. To me, a celebrity is a person visiting a lot of salons and being whipped into a Hummer outside of a club. That’s just not me. That’s not what I’m striving for. I have to say I had more fun when I was unknown than I’ve ever had as someone who’s known.
Sounds like you don’t dig being recognized.
Being recognized is not something I live for. My dream was never to be a star, or that guy who walks down the street giving autographs. My dream is to be a good comic. I want to be able to fill a room, and Comedy Central and my show have helped me accomplish that. Being recognized makes you always have to be careful.
Of what? Stalkers? Jealous comics?
I’ll give you an example. I’ll be walking down the street and I’ll feel like I’m dying. I’m shitting blood, I can’t breathe, and then some kid comes up and says, “Hey, when is that Insomniac show coming back?” Then you have to switch back into that mode. Meanwhile, I don’t know if I’m going to live till I get to the end of the block. Then you have the kids who seem to have been trained by MTV to be sarcastic. I’ve been doing this for 18 years, and I have to answer some 19-year-old who comes up and says, “So now that Insomniac is over, what are you going to do?” Umm, I don’t know, sir. How about you? Are you going to get a job at Domino’s? What’s your plan?
I know you don’t like hanging with Hollywood types. But do they like hanging with you?
Whenever we go out to do the Insomniac show and we see the young , kooky celebrities, we always run the other way. Personally, I don’t think being on TV is the ultimate thing. Unless it’s a really funny show, or if you ’re a really great actor on 24, or something like that. Just being on TV isn’t the end-all. But this generation feels that it’s very important for them to be on TV for some reason. TV is like their space program. They need to be on Real World or Road Rules. Also, these people don’t see doing these types of shows as just an experience. Someone doesn’t do a show like Survivor and think, Wow, that was the greatest experience of my life! Instead, they’ll try to milk it by getting on the The Bachelorette. They see it as a career. Reality TV is now a career for people!
A lot of comics seem to hate themselves…. Why do I get the feeling I know what you’re going to say?
I actually say “I hate myself, I hate myself” over and over before I go onstage. I actually say that! Sometimes when we’re filming Insomniac, I’ll be sitting in the front seat of a car saying “I hate myself” over and over, and some poor production assistant will be like, What’s going on here?
Have you ever considered seeing a therapist?
I did therapy a few years ago, and I have to say it was probably the biggest waste of my time — I could have used the money for drinking and whores. Everybody has problems. The best advice I ever got was from my parents.
Which was?
“Get through it! You just got to keep moving forward!” That’s the best advice. I think people are looking for a happiness that doesn’t exist. For me, personally, being happy is not so important as being not miserable. I’ve been both.
You recently completed work on a sitcom. Did it get picked up by a network?
I shot a pilot for Fox, but I just heard that it wasn’t picked up. So … but that’s cool.
What’s cool about the show not being picked up by Fox?
Because it gave me a break from the Insomniac show for a while. I didn’t want the show to get tame, and I didn’t want to just keep doing it to do it. The other thing was that it got harder to do because of the recognition factor. We were starting to repeat ourselves in terms of bits and it was getting harder to find cool late-night stuff, yet there were all these people following us around, looking for it. We started to look like a giant Dr Pepper commercial! We’d be walking down the street with 85 wannabe American Idol-looking kids. So I did this Fox thing with Brooke Shields and a few other great actors. It was created by the Coen brothers. The show was called Lucky, and they just let me do whatever I wanted to do. I thought it was super-funny, but I don’t know how network TV works. I guess they make a million other shows, but they can only have so many. But it was a great experience all around.
You’ve filmed Insomniac in nearly every corner of the world. Where’s the best place to get hammered?
Hmm … if I was Mickey Rourke in … what was that film?
Barfly?
No — that film I’ve lived. I mean the other film, where he gets tons of pussy.
9½ Weeks?
Right. If I were a really rich, mysterious dude who gets tons of pussy, I’d definitely live in Tokyo. That’s such a cool town. It’s so different. The other place would be Brazil. It’s pretty cool there, too. It’s a whole different lifestyle. People know how to relax and live for the moment. But when you’re not from there, it can get really annoying when you need something and they tell you , “I’m sorry, but I’m partying now.”
What about Europe?
Nah, outside of the art and the history, I find most of Europe a little drab. It’s too drizzly.
No girlfriend?
No girlfriend.
Not looking?
I am looking. But with this tour, it’s very hard to focus on that. But believe me, I’m 40 years old — I should definitely have a girlfriend, if not be married. I want to have kids and all that kind of stuff. But my lifestyle is really conducive to whoring around. I’m sure if I were in one place, I would have that one girl who would hate me. But this way I have lots of girls that just don’t like me.
Your new DVD is titled Hey, Your Mouth’s Not Pregnant. I can’t imagine there are too many women who are thrilled with your choice of words.
I think my fans love it. I wanted to do something that was dirty, but you could still say it on TV and radio. That’s as close as I could come. It’s from a joke of mine. On Insomniac, people buy me a drink. So my next show will be, “Knock, knock … I’d like a blowjob.” And it will feature me traveling around looking for blowjobs. I just didn’t want it to sound like some of those other lame comedy albums, like Totally Raw! or Momma Said There Would Be Days Like This!
You toured and were friends with the late comic Mitch Hedberg. How did his death affect you?
Well, the day I heard he died, I was filming that Fox sitcom. So in a way, I feel like I might have contributed to his death.
How so?
Just me being on a sitcom. I’m sure a lot of comics came close to dying when that news got out. Actually, I was doing the sitcom when Mitch died and I was surrounded by a lot of “yes” people and nobody wanted to tell me. I can tell you that nobody was really shocked by Mitch’s death. We all knew how he lived and how he toured. It’s a horrible loss for a lot of people. I got to meet his mom when I was on tour with him. During his funeral she told me all the things she tried to do to help Mitch, and it really broke my heart. His parents were super-nice people whose son had an addiction. They tried everything to help him. But unfortunately Mitch, who was super-successful and super-talented, had a lifestyle where he could slip and slide around all that stuff. If you ’re a heroin addict and living in your mom’s basement, eventually you’re going to have to go into rehab. But if you’re a drug addict filling up theaters and going on Letterman, you have a lot of aces in the hole to get around that stuff. I think Mitch just fell in love with the drug lifestyle. But it never hurt his comedy. He had some up-and-down road gigs where he was out of it. But everybody tried so hard to help him. We’re not going to live forever. Mitch and I have a lot of demons. Doug Stanhope is another guy with demons. With Mitch, he got to a point in his life where the drugs just took over.
Yet another brilliant comic dying young because of self-destructive behavior. Sadly, it’s almost become the norm.
Well, it’s a weird life. You’re inside your own head 24 hours a day. I got to work with these actors on the sitcom and I could see the process they go through. They spend so much time trying to get work that when they get it, they really focus on it. But comics work all the time. It’s the off time that gets to be trouble. By the way, I love Penthouse. I’m not a Playboy guy. Playboy is like Maxim with nipples.
Nice of you to say. I take it you’re a reader?
Yeah, but I hope Penthouse doesn’t get too clean.
Well, let’s dirty this interview up a bit so we keep you buying the magazine. What’s your favorite sex position?
My favorite sex position is watching. I like to watch two hot girls going at it while I eat shrimp cocktail. Actually, I prefer doggie-style because I’m short. I try to keep eye contact to a minimum.
Can’t let you go without asking the standard comic question. What kind of kid were you?
I was a shy, morose, self-hating child. Now I’m still all of those, but thanks to alcohol and cable TV, I’ve come out of my shell. I wasn’t the class-clown type.
You told me the last time we spoke that you never feel worse about yourself than you do after an interview. How do you feel right now?
I like you, man, and I like this kind of interview. Usually the interview is all about Insomniac, because that’s all most people know me from. So I kind of have to slip in that I’ve been doing stand-up for 18 years. Whenever I bring up my other stuff, it seems to throw people off. Interviews are like sex. There are good ones and there are bad ones. But you’re glad you did it, even if it was bad.
Any advice for the publishers of Penthouse?
Here’s my advice: More girls bending over stuff. I love a clam shot from behind! “Hello! Peek-a-boo! You caught me!”
This represents the third time we have featured Dave Attell in Legacy, which if nothing else gives you some indication of how much fun we still find him. Seriously, who doesn’t like women bending over shots? … If you missed the first time, you can find it here as well as an article about his Showtime series as well. And he still has Instagram and Twitter too. Yay, Dave!
