Depending upon how old you were when you got introduced to Dudley Moore, you might remember him in very different ways. Not many guys could claim to have been seduced by Bo Derek … even if only in a movie.
The Long and Short of Dudley Moore
Dudley Moore may be only a shade over five feet, but the star of such comic gems as Arthur, Romantic Comedy, 10, and most recently, Blame It on the Bellboy has once again proven it ain’t the size but what you do with it. And Dudley has made the most of it and then some — overcoming a clubfoot and countless operations throughout childhood. In short, Dudley Moore is a star.
As an actress and writer, I have known Dudley for 15 years. We met during the better days of “Saturday Night Live,” hanging out and partying into the wee hours of Sunday morning with John, Danny, Chevy, and Lorne. It had been a few years since we last spoke, so armed with my tape recorder, I invited myself to lunch at Moore’s Venice, California, restaurant, 72 Market Street. While we ate, Dudley talked about the old days and the new for Penthouse readers.
PETER SELLERS
He was very sad and solemn when you were in private with him. He was like his character in Being There, where he stripped himself down to his essential self, which was very ephemeral. When you talked to him, there was nothing to grasp hold of.
CHOOSING BETWEEN BO DEREK, DARYL HANNAH, AND LIZA MINNELLI
Only because you’re putting a gun to my head am I going to choose which of the three was my favorite leading lady. I think I would choose Liza. She’s so electric and alive — not that the others aren’t, but she’s just terrific. I find her extraordinary in her timing and her zest for life. Now put the gun down.
CHILDHOOD
Having a clubfoot made me feel like the village idiot. It was something my mother couldn’t get straightened out in her mind. She dealt with it very badly. On the one hand, there was nothing wrong with me; on the other hand, I was completely helpless. There was never a realistic look at it. It must have pissed her off to have to drag me to clinics and stuff. I don’t think she knew how to be affectionate, poor thing. I’m amazed I was born at all.
Kids go through a terrible stage of being bullied. I remember being beaten up by gangs of youths who individually were fairly harmless. I recall being attracted to a girl and having her smile on one side and snicker at me on the other. I can understand my peers finding it difficult to cope with a deformity.
When I became 13, I decided that I would try to not be beaten up at lunchtime by thinking, Well, one way is to join them, and so I made fun of some teacher who I didn’t really want to make fun of. From that moment on, I became the class clown. I think becoming a comedian involved a combination of things: being small, having a clubfoot, being beaten up and all. It is so fucking boring, but it’s an endless nightmare that kids have to go through. I’d love to find someone like me who’s small and suffering and tell him, “It’s okay, you’ll be fine.”
AMERICAN HUMOR, the DUDLEY MOORE TAKE
There is a tendency of Americans to take things fairly literally. It does tend to flatten things out in a way. It means that every subject under the sun is taken with utmost gravity and it’s becoming impossible to be all that light about anything. I think that “Saturday Night Live” is not now particularly satirical. …Part of it has to do with its being a weekly show, and it’s hard, being a network show, to express too many feelings about this, that, and the other. But it’s not just television. After doing the movie Crazy People, I got a letter from the inmates of a mental institution complaining about it. I wrote back that they missed the point. In fact, the film is about a guy empathizing with the inmates’ situation and treating them as normal human beings.
BASHING MEN
I think that right now men are coming in for a lot of bashing. There’s a lot of male bashing going on in television programs that you see throughout the country. It’s partly due to the fact that women have been at long last allowed to air their views. God knows, they should have been allowed to years ago, but the backlash is that men are getting a little too hard done by. After years of being pent up, the reaction of women is sometimes a little strained.
TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A.
I like living in L.A. I must — I’ve been here about 18 years, but I don’t have much to do with what I’m told are the more difficult aspects of Los Angeles. I’m talking about the people who are connected to the studios and executive-type things. I think that would kill me off immediately. I can’t get involved. I almost find it a lack in me, but I don’t feel it’s a problem.
BEING A SEX SYMBOL
Being called a sex symbol is a press sort of thing. Actually, I do recall being called a sex thimble. I think it was some clever dick who said that. Look, I don’t think you seduce a woman. A woman says, “Okay, it’s time now,” and you come running. The woman sort of yawns and says, “Oh, all right.”
That’s not to say you can’t feel it’s seduction. That’s the canniness of women. They can make you feel you have effected the seduction, but you haven’t.
DUDLEY’S “10”
There’s a part of me that’s very dependent and there’s a part of me that’s very independent. This combination requires a very special woman. You want independence from somebody and yet you want them to be dependent on you without strangling you.
SAY GOOD-BYE TO HOLLYWOOD
I know about Julia Phillips’s book about Hollywood, You’ll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again. I guess it’s about viewing squabblings amongst strange children. I think people want to squabble because it’s very important for them to know somebody is responsible for their unhappiness. I think lunch with Julia at my restaurant would be fun.
DUDLEY’S FAVORITE LAST LINE
Marshall Brickman told his analyst, “Life is hell.” After a few moments, the analyst looked up and responded, “Yes, but it’s very interesting.”
Technically the Legacy story ends at this point, but we thought folks might be interested in a few more shots of the woman on the cover with him this month. She happens to be Robin Brown, the April, 1992, Pet of the Month.
For those of you too young to remember, we will explain that Dudley Moore made a career about of appearing as the lovable drunk in many, many movies, although perhaps none of them as culture-inspiring as “10” — with Bo Derek. And if you happen to be too young to remember Bo Derek, well, we feel bad for you. Let’s just say her “jiggling” brought the boys to the yard long before Kelis’s Milkshake. Both qualify as tasty, however.
