With Covid-19 wreaking havoc around the planet, things feel apocalyptic these days, including on the sex and dating fronts. Given the daily deluge of bad news, it’s a welcome development when even the smallest bit of good news appears.
Now That We Can’t Touch, What Are We Gonna Do?
For those of us worried about the transmission of the virus in semen (one of the dangers, you’ll recall, of the AIDS virus), it brought a modicum of relief to learn a recent study by a team of international researchers found a group of Chinese men showed no trace of Covid-19 virus in their semen when examined eight days to three months post-diagnosis.
The relief was short-lived, though, because a subsequent study by a Chinese research team detected the virus in a small subset of 38 infected men. American researchers cautioned against reading too much into this very limited study, however, with the Society for Reproductive Medicine saying the findings are not cause for alarm.
But that’s how it’s been during this crisis: up and down. Shifts in the medical science, weird new symptoms established (Covid toe, anyone?), alterations of epidemiological models—the very definition of a fluid situation, with thousands of lives at stake.
Along with big-picture grimness, there are those stressful hygiene protocols we’re trying to practice so we can avoid our own personal encounter with the “Invisible Enemy.” For the most germ-wary people, opening tricky packages and transferring food from just-bought containers can feel as delicate as defusing a bomb.
Physical distancing. Surface decontamination. Face masks. Sanitizing groceries. The list goes on. Suddenly, many of us are spending hours socializing or conferencing on Zoom at home, re-binge-watching cable shows, and checking out TikTok influencers.
You can’t hook up from six feet away. And the fact that people can be infectious without showing symptoms just adds to the risk of bodily contact with another. To make matters worse, the bars, coffee shops, restaurants, and clubs where we used to be able to meet someone new or take someone on a date might be closed, out of business, or operating with limited hours, smaller patron numbers, and physical distancing inside.
So what are our options when it comes to sex and romance during Covid-19?
We checked in with retired porn star Brittany Andrews, an AVN Hall of Famer, dancer, dominatrix, and an all-around glamorous blonde with a wealth of sex expertise.
“I’ve always been a safe-sex person,” Andrews tells Penthouse via the safety of Skype. “I was one of the longest-running condoms-only performers. And one of my favorite fetishes, being a natural-born germaphobe, was always foot-fetish stuff. A lot of that is pretty safe—I just show you my toes and feet. I think with this Covid-19 thing, sex will be activities that aren’t as intimate, and that don’t include a lot of saliva.”
Of course our new pandemic-altered reality comes at a time when hooking up was already pretty complicated, given our culture’s changed rules of sexual etiquette.
“Even before Covid-19,” Andrews points out, “we had the #MeToo movement. I feel like that made it difficult for men, in person, to hit on a girl. I think the way human beings connect today is a lot different from when you and I were younger.”
Though dating technology has moved a lot of the business of meeting and flirting online, Tinder and other apps are not to everyone’s taste, Andrews says.
“I have frequent conversations about sex and dating,” says the sex-industry veteran, “and there are still a lot of people who don’t believe in hooking up using apps. They prefer meeting people out in the world and seeing if there’s any chemistry in person.”
Needless to say, there aren’t a lot of hookups and romances kindling in public places mid-pandemic. So those who prefer to look for sex and love in non-digital ways may finally find themselves shifting to a greater reliance on phone and computer screens.
But this crisis is bringing change to everyone’s life, including those who live and love most digitally. The global upheaval will have multiple social and cultural repercussions. And with regard to sex and dating, the shockwaves may impact certain groups more intensely than others. Those who were the most sexually active pre-pandemic might be one group. Another might be people who are generally more anxious about germs and disease, whether or not coronavirus is raging.
People who adapt quickly to this uncharted world will help set the new trends and identify opportunities. And while scientists search for a vaccine, we can anticipate that in this high-risk period, fantasy, fetish, and flirting will assume larger roles.
By necessity, our sexual behavior will become even more visually oriented—a change well underway. In April, for example, the New York Times ran a piece on the sharp rise in people sending nude selfies to each other. The reporter interviewed a couple of guys who were receiving nude selfies from multiple people. A young woman in the article suggested delivering a little pleasure to someone via nude pictures of herself was, in a sense, one way she could do her part to help others get through this tough time.
Brittany Andrews reminds us that even during a pandemic, the human sex drive can’t be stopped. Consequently, there will be a broad range of sexual responses and behaviors manifested.
“People are horny and some are going to fuck, no matter what,” Andrews says. Then with a chuckle, she adds, “There are a lot of guys out there who will be like, ‘I’ll get some Covid-19 to bust a nut.’ We all know it.”
Interest in medical fetish gear has gotten a bump, according to Andrews. (A shrink might say that’s a way of sublimating or taming the anxiety we have about medical matters these days—sexualizing what’s scary). Fantasy scenarios involving face and full-head latex masks, latex gloves and aprons, and even more extreme applications like full rubber “gimp” regalia are having their day.
“It’s all about the memes of the gimp outfit at the grocery store,” Andrews says, laughing. “I mean, if we’re gonna do it, let’s just go there. I’ve been seeing a lot of my girlfriends capitalizing on the latex masks.”
Natalie Mars and her girlfriend Mistress Damazonia—one of Andrews’ favorite porn couples—have been exploring more medical fetishes. “I love them so much!” says Andrews. “Natalie won best trans performer for both AVN and Pornhub Awards. Her girlfriend has been playing the latex nurse with the mask and gloves and it’s so fucking hot.”
Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, and the Kardashian Kult are all fans of latex fashions. Can it be long before Miley is posing in an N95 mask and matching monokini? Will we see PPE streetwear designs from Kanye West’s clothing company? And don’t be surprised if full-face shields, disposable industrial HAZMAT coveralls, balaclavas, opera gloves, and goggles are all featured on Fall Fashion Week’s runways. (Though whether any celebrities will be spectating in-person remains to be seen.)
“The other day,” says Andrews, “I picked up stuff from a girl I know who makes designer face masks. I’ve now got a Chanel one and a Louis Vuitton one, so it’s become its own fashion statement—like medical fetish goes mainstream.”
Along with this shift to online visual communication via Zoom, Skype, and FaceTime, and the surge in sex-industry cam sites and platforms like OnlyFans, brick-and-mortar adult retailers and their customers are also capitalizing on online modes of commerce.
One such retailer is Chi Chi LaRue’s Circus, located in West Hollywood, a store which had the rotten luck of opening for business just a few weeks before the pandemic hit.
Formerly called Circus of Books, this landmark location on Santa Monica Boulevard was the area’s first LGBT adult store. Such was its iconic status, the store is now the subject of a new, critically acclaimed Netflix documentary, Circus of Books. The film was directed by artist Rachel Mason, daughter of longtime owners Barry and Karen Mason.
Rob Novinger, CEO of the store’s parent company, Channel 1 Releasing, told Penthouse there’s been a spike in online ordering from the retailer’s digital storefront.
“For us, the surge certainly doesn’t replace the volume from our physical stores, but I’m not complaining,” Novinger says. “What I have noticed is people are really stocking up on the basics—just like people are doing with toilet paper. Lube, cock rings, dongs—BIG dongs. I think people must be utilizing their time at home for anal challenges.”
Novinger also notes a jump in local online orders from regulars who before shopped in-person.
When this Chi Chi LaRue’s Circus location does open its doors again, visitors are in for a treat, with all the erotic art, stylish Instagramable interiors, pink and orange color schemes, elaborate role-play costume and fashion items, aisle of lubricants, coffee-table books, and more.
But until that day comes, online is the way to go. And any product that can liven up staying at home is to be appreciated.
“Time for more self-love!” Novinger says with a smile. Then he adds, “I think that explains the surge in vibes, lube, and dongs. It’s a super strange time, but I think it’s pushing people to discover new things that maybe weren’t part of their normal routine.”
As for Andrews, “safer at home” in Las Vegas, she agrees that self-pleasuring is no doubt on the increase. “I’m going to assume a lot of people aren’t getting laid right now,” she observes. “If you’re single, I would think getting laid would be difficult.”
Elaborating, she adds, “I think people are going to be coming up with new ways to masturbate. With the whole camming thing, there are hi-tech devices where the other person can control your experience by using an app on their phone. I think there’s going to be more stuff like that—so you can participate with the other person.
“Before this whole thing began, I wasn’t really used to jumping on my computer and having whole conversations with people,” Andrews says. “I would schedule a Skype meeting every once in a while—but this is my third one today. I think this kind of communication is going to become more a part of everyday life moving forward.”
NOW FOR SOME “MASK KISSING” ADVICE
Sex Expert: Creativity Is Key
Los Angeles-based clinical sexologist Stephanie Hunter Jones, PhD, counsels clients who are negotiating new ways to hygienically hook up and feel sexy virtually.
“I think people are going to have to get very creative,” she says, “and that could be a good thing.”
Staying sexual during Covid-19? Here are four more observations from Hunter Jones:
Social distancing will take some getting used to.
“Clients I help to open up sexually and explore sexual experiences, they’re having a difficult time because they’ve had to tone that down. Some are limiting to one or two partners.”
Virtual reality is the new reality.
About half of Hunter Jones’s coupled clients are swingers. “They’re doing things virtually, to be as safe as possible. Zoom found out about it and they’re trying to crack down, so there are independent servers popping up to host new platforms.”
Singles might enjoy “no-touch” games.
“You can have conversations, enjoy a glass of wine, and get to know each other online because that’s the reality of what we’re living with right now. When it comes to meeting in public, yes, we have to wear masks, but you can use it flirtatiously. Maybe reveal your face a little at a time.”
Sexiness is healthy.
Feeling good helps support mental health and the immune system. “Sex is just one aspect of our sexuality. Sexuality is an essence of energy that lives within us. I’ve been working with clients during this time to get in touch with that essence—that passion.”
Dorothy Darker is only too happy to wear a face mask and keep a six-foot distance while riding out the pandemic in Los Angeles. She loves her dog and binge-watching Japanese cooking shows.
