Dirty Talk Trials

Talk Dirty to She

So you want to talk dirty? You know, as much as we love a naughty conversation with a hot chick, many of us do not necessarily list improv as one of our top talents when we’re about to hook up with her. During the heat of the moment, it can be easy to lean in for the kiss, slide in your tongue, caress her tit, and such. When using “our words” to show how turned on, though, that requires a skill for the game that many of us quite frankly never have much of a chance to practice. Many of us fall into the actions speak louder than words category, mostly because we understand the actions of sex, while the words can leave us feeling like inept virgins. Consequently many of us miss out on the chance to put the icing on the cake, the whipped cream on the pie — as it were. Continue reading “Dirty Talk Trials”

Wyatt Hawn Russell

Solid Goldie

The rest of us may know Wyatt Hawn Russell for being the son of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. He’s actually the longtime couple’s only child together, but he has three half-siblings: Kurt’s son Boston Russell, from his marriage to Elvis costar Season Hubley, and Hawn’s children from her relationship with ex-husband Bill Hudson, Kate and Oliver Hudson. Continue reading “Wyatt Hawn Russell”

Mother Pop

The Queen of Pop Art

Mother Pop is the alter ego of Irish artist Cavanagh Foyle, a former aviation lawyer who creates eye-catching, large scale, provocative pop art paintings, often infused with typography and her signature “squiggs.”

What inspired you to become an aviation lawyer?

A random piece of history about my hometown is that the first-ever transatlantic flight crash landed just a stone’s throw from where my family home now stands. The pilots [John Alcock and Arthur Brown] stayed with my grandparents after their crash, so seeing the pictures and hearing the stories of aviation history that was made on my doorstep was always something I loved. Add watching way too much Ally McBeal growing up, it just seemed like a fun idea to combine law and aviation and become an aviation lawyer!

What inspired the transition from aviation law to a career in art?

Art has always been my true passion and something that I kept exploring on my own all through my law jobs. I realized quite quickly that life as a lawyer wasn’t as fun as the TV shows, but in Ireland the idea of being a pop artist was just not realistic. However, I decided for myself that it was going to become a viable career and I was going to make it happen. So about two years ago, I quit my job and developed my pop artist alter ego: Mother Pop!

Where did the name Mother Pop come from?

Initially, I was just trying to find a good Instagram name that wasn’t my own name. I wanted it to represent the fact that I was a female pop artist … and Mother Pop came to mind, and the tagline “The Queen Mother of Pop” just stuck!

How would you describe your art?

Mother Pop is pure pop art with a very cheeky, provocative twist! It’s cartoon land for grown-ups. It’s primary color overload. It’s happiness and naughtiness. I am obsessed with pop culture, pop nostalgia and everything POP! And that’s what shows up in my art, with a healthy serving of sideboob and underbutt.

What’s the story behind your signature “squiggs?”

I wanted to have something that was instantly recognizable as my art, but I didn’t want to pigeonhole myself into only creating a certain type of art, like just bodies or just faces. Then I remembered whenever my dad was on the landline phone when I was growing up he would draw squiggles on pieces of paper as he talked, the same ones over and over again, and I used to always copy him. So, it was an aha moment like that. I decided that was going to be my signature style and to call them “squiggs.” I put them everywhere now—thanks, Dad!

What tools do you use to create your work?

I create two types of art: big canvas pieces and framed digital pieces. The tools and processes for both are quite different. For canvas pieces, I use lots of spray paint. I print out images very big and cut them up and wheat-paste them onto the canvas and then go in with acrylics and markers. It is quite a methodical process. For digital pieces, I allow myself a bit more room to experiment because I can modify and change things easier. I do it all with my trusty iPad and Apple pen. A lot of people think I use Photoshop for my digital pieces, but embarrassingly, I actually don’t even know how to use Photoshop! I just use a basic drawing app and my digital pen and experiment with ideas and photos I have saved from my Notes app.

What inspires your art?

Instagram is a big source of inspiration for my work. I love all the accounts that show old pop nostalgia. I save all the images that give me a fuzzy feeling or appeal to my imagination. It could be a 1992 cover of Vogue or a Rottweiler wearing a diamond necklace. Then I just think about how I can bring them into my work in a new and mind-tickling way. Travel inspires so much, too. If I don’t travel every so often, I find I get into creative slumps. I need to experience new places to spark new ideas.

Are there any crossovers between your work in aviation law and art?

There actually is. I adore the visual of an aircraft, especially the old vintage silver ones, private jets and abandoned planes. So one of my next series is going to be squigged-up planes! Also, one of my first art pieces I made was of an airplane, which the aviation company I used to work for now has.

What’s been your biggest learning curve since pursuing a career in art?

That you need to be persistent in getting your art in front of eyes and not just focus on galleries to show your art. You need to make that “dolla” yourself and talk to people about art, engage with the audience you have, get them excited! I have learned if I sell one piece to someone, there is a big chance they come back for a second and a third. So work hard to get that first-time collector and then nurture that artist-collector relationship!

What advice would you give to someone wanting to pursue art?

Do it! But have a plan. I kept working while plotting my art move. Save your money, so you can afford to give yourself the time you need to create a substantial body of work and get some momentum going. If it goes tits up, you can always just go back to work. At least you will have pursued something that means something to you. Don’t expect miracles straight away. Expect to fail a few times; it will eventually lead to growth. Life is too short not to do what you want. Be selfish with your own dreams.

What’s the most surreal thing that’s happened to you since pursuing Mother Pop?

When Kourtney Kardashian posted my art on her Instagram stories, that was pretty surreal!

As one might expect of a contemporary artist, one can find Mother Pop on Instagram. Perhaps less intuitively, though, you can also find a remarkably fun personal web site in this case. Snoopy has never looked as wise.

Fun Stuff While Distanced

Solo (or not) Adventures

Consequently, we decided to pull a few levels of fun stuff from a recent issue that you can enjoy all by yourself. As with almost everything you can enjoy by yourself, though, finding a trusted friend to share with might well increase the enjoyment. No bickering, though. Continue reading “Fun Stuff While Distanced”

TROMA: Lloyd Kaufman’s Playground

Welcome to Tromaville

My conversation with Troma Entertainment creator and filmmaker Lloyd Kaufman was nothing short of extraordinary. And, if you’ve seen any of his films like The Toxic Avenger, Class of Nuke ‘Em High, Tromeo and Juliet, or Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead, then you’ll understand that expecting the unexpected comes with the territory when talking Troma.

To date, what has been your most memorable moment as a filmmaker?

It has to be when we were filming The Toxic Avenger. We have three rules of safety for forty-eight years at Troma Entertainment: “Safety to Humans and Animals”, “Safety to Peoples’ Possessions”, and, in smaller type “Make a Good Movie”. Nobody should get hurt or killed over something as stupid as a movie. Unfortunately, in the mainstream, it happens quite frequently.

In that vein, with The Toxic Avenger, when it comes to stunts, we hire people with resumes. We hired people with real Hollywood resumes. We had a stunt with a car flipping over and landing on its roof. We hired top quality talent. The guy who put in the roll bar did not attach it to the body of the vehicle but the floor of the car so when the car flipped over and landed on its roof, the two ends of the roll bar when through the roof of the car like a straw through the wet bag. Luckily, nobody was injured. The car got crushed and looked like an accordion. We had to bring in the jaws of life to get the stuntman out, but luckily, he was fine. That was the closest we’d ever come to someone getting injured and we’re very vigilant about that.

We’re also vigilant about respect for the camera. We had a kid — he was an NYU student — and he put the camera on the floor. I made him cry. A movie camera should be looked upon with reverence.

Who has been your favorite celebrity cameo in one of your films?

Well, I was friends with Stan Lee for fifty years. He and I wrote scripts together and he was a big fan of Troma. He’d have me moderate his panels at these conventions. I’d do a panel and two people would show up. He’d do a panel and two thousand people would show up so he helped me get a lot of exposure. He was in about ten of our movies.

John G. Avildsen, who was one of my mentors and the director of Cry Uncle! Which is on our new streaming service Troma Now, was a big inspiration to me. He is in a satire we did on infomercials.

From Trey Parker to James Gunn — and certain stars who had to use other names so I shouldn’t mention them… Lemmy from Motorhead and I had an interesting relationship. We were pretty good friends and he was so eccentric. I think my favorite cameo of Lemmy was when he played the President of the United States in Return to Nuke ‘Em High and Return to Return to Nuke ‘Em High. I wish he had been President. He was a student of war history and he wouldn’t have gotten us into all these messes and we would have had some good White House music. In Tromeo and Juliet, he played the narrator. He has more lines than Tromeo or Juliet or any of the main characters. You can’t understand him but it’s in the movie nonetheless. Later on, we started using subtitles for Lemmy. He was a good guy. A very nice man. He pretended to be gruff, tough, and scary but he was just a good dude.

Who are your biggest inspirations?

I came upon a film career because I was stuck in a very small bedroom with the guy who ran the Yale film society when I was going to Yale. He and his cohorts were big auteur advocates, and they had a big stack of Cahiers du Cinéma, which is a French magazine. Since I’m an entitled bourgeois, I can speak and read fluent French, so I started reading these magazines which nobody read and I got very inspired toward being a filmmaker who has total control of the soul, heart, and brain of the movie. That was a big influence on my decision to stay in New York. My biggest inspirations were directors who were journeymen and not bought and sold by the studios.

Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Stan Brakhage — the greatest visual artist of my lifetime in my humble opinion, — Fritz Lang, Mizoguchi, those kinds of names were the biggest inspirations. Tarantino is a genius and a big Troma fan too. Al Goldstein was in a couple of our movies, and we were kind of friendly. He made a movie called “It Happened in Hollywood”, which was a porno film that was not at all erotic. It wasn’t very good. I only saw it six times. For those of you who don’t know, Al Goldstein was a big pioneer of the first amendment. He edited a tabloid called Screw Magazine and was constantly busted and went to jail for writing obscene articles and showing pictures. And look at the internet now. This poor bastard. It ruined his life!

And meanwhile it turns out that the first amendment is still at risk — especially if you’re an independent movie company. You’ll get kicked off YouTube and Amazon for things that are perfectly acceptable from major studios. Censorship is economic censorship so that there are no independent studios left that can survive except Troma. The mainstream media ignores independent and the name “independent” has been corrupted. What Troma does is we make our own damn movies, distribute our own damn movies, and our fans help us. I think we’re the last independent studio of any longevity. I will leave behind a legacy of hundreds if not thousands of talented filmmakers and movies.

What would you say is your all-time favorite film?

Well, it’s hard to rank movies and I don’t like to rank art, but I would say my most intense experience was when I probably just getting out of Yale around the time I graduated. My roommate was a big advocate of Mizoguchi. He called Mizoguchi “the John Ford of Japan” but it was probably the other way around. I saw Princess Yang Kwei Fei on the big screen. It was quite a religious experience. Very sublime.

The movie that put my head in the decision that I would make movies as my life’s avocation was Ernst Lubitsch’s To Be or Not to Be, a movie which is Daoist which is what I majored in. I majored in Chinese studies and Daoism teaches a bifurcated universe where opposites are attracted to each other. You cannot have good without evil. You cannot have beauty without ugliness. Pain and pleasure are always together. To Be or Not to Be is totally crazy yet it’s absolutely controlled filmmaking. It’s both. And that’s the way I make movies: they’re totally uncontrolled yet totally controlled. Although they don’t look controlled at all, there is a hell of a lot of control, huge amounts of preparation. Much more than any Hollywood movie. That’s why most of these movies stink: there’s no rehearsals or preparation. And I’ve seen it because I’m in a lot of these big-time movies doing cameos. Anyway, Ernst Lubitsch’s To Be or Not to Be is the movie that pushed me over the line. I decided right then and there whilst I was watching that movie that to make it my life.

What do you think of the remake of The Toxic Avenger?

When we made The Toxic Avenger, no theater would play it. They didn’t get it. It wasn’t a horror film, it was something new and different. Initially, we couldn’t give it away and now it’s become hundreds of products and now there’s a musical that played Broadway for a year. It was in the West End twice and the musical is still traveling. It was written by David Bryan of Bon Jovi and Tony Award-winning Joe DiPietro. It got all the off-Broadway awards in New York.

And now it’s being remade with a huge budget starring Peter Dinklage and directed by Macon Blair. The idea of “Toxie” as a little person is going to be terrific. It’s totally going to be Macon’s own movie. I’ve read the script. It’s better than the original and it will be R rated. I think it’s going to be great. I’m very confident.

What film would you consider to be a modern-day cult classic and what do you think makes a movie a cult classic?

What makes a good cult movie? Wow. I guess…I think “cult” to some extent is a movie that, in the fullness of time, becomes a favorite among a group of people not necessarily in the mainstream. What is a cult? It’s a narrowly shared philosophy I suppose.

Bloodsucking Freaks is a perfect example. I can’t imagine why we got involve with Bloodsucking Freaks. It was 1974 just when we began the company. The guy who made it had trouble with it so we took it over. He had a distributor that cut it and made it R rated when really it should have been X rated. So we took it back and we put everything back in and it has become a cult favorite. It’s very funny but it’s very misogynistic. It’s too much in my opinion. The movie is now almost fifty years old but today we wouldn’t have acquired it. I can see how people object to it and why there was picketing. To me, though, Pretty Woman is infinitely more misogynistic and evil because it’s cloaked in a veneer of gold leaf whereas Bloodsucking Freaks has it all out there. And I think [Bloodsucking Freaks]is a great example of a cult film. It’s too much but it’s become a favorite.

I think one of my favorite cult movies is Fritz Lang’s The Big Heat. I met [Lang] a couple of times and I made him watch my first film. The poor bastard. I sent him a 16mm copy of The Girl Who Returned and he wrote me a very short letter afterwards:

Dear Mr. Kaufman,
Thank you for sending The Girl Who Returned. I watched it.
Best,
Fritz

What are your thoughts about The Suicide Squad directed by your collaborator James Gunn?

The Suicide Squad is a very good movie. Actually, every review of that movie mentions Troma now. Before The Suicide Squad, none of the PR firms would list Tromeo and Juliet, which is certainly better than anything James Gunn has produced. The movies he wrote and directed are brilliant. Now that the reviews [of The Suicide Squad] are coming out, the first line of every review mentions Troma. So that’s kinda nice. And James is great.

I heard you have a cameo in the movie as well?

I have a little cameo. You can’t miss me. And it’s a good movie. You can see the roots of Troma. It’s like Picasso built on Titian. James has come into his own. His movies are great.

What do you think is the future of cult film in a post-COVID world?

I think there will always be cult movies if not now more than ever. The good part of artist life is that you can make a movie now for nothing. When I was a child, everybody wanted to write the great American novel. Now everyone wants to make the great American movie. And now, thanks to a miracle, movie making has been democratized. We have a movie by a Canadian guy called Father’s Day and it’s just as good as any movie we’ve made if not better. And it was made for much less than $50,000. We put in some money and some investors put in some money and we produced it. But it was made for very little and the Canadian government supports its cult and independent filmmakers so I think you will see more cult films coming out of Canada. The American government only supports the giant media conglomerates through tax incentives and sophisticated shenanigans.

Do you have any upcoming projects you’d like to discuss?

The Troma Now app is available on Roku, Google, Apple TV. Whatever you want to see your movie on, the Troma Now app enables it. So you can get amazing cult movies. You get all the Troma classics. All the movie’s we’ve made in-house are available on the app. Even Trey Parker’s Cannibal: The Musical is available. When first released it, it was too ahead of its time. Nobody wanted it. But now it’s one of our most successful movies thanks to Blu-Ray, DVD, VHS, and of course Troma Now. Because Troma Now is the future.

Troma App Options

We also got a whole bunch of social media links to pass along, so we will. Clearly these fans tend to be a pretty social bunch. … Instagram has both a Troma Team and a Tromo Now option. Twitter has Troma Team, Troma Now, in addition to a specific Lloyd Kaufman option. If you cannot find them, you are not looking very hard.

Labor Day Pet

Cuddle our Labor Day Pets

At this point, we could have spun into some deep and erudite discussion regarding the meaning of Labor Day in general (and thus a Labor Day Pet specifically). The consensus in the room at that point and time basically boiled down to, “Wow! That would be exceptionally boring.”

So we decided to simply grab a couple of other pictures of the Pets included in our Labor Day video, which if not particularly clever, would at least allow you longer than a couple of seconds to look at each one of them.

For the record, in order of video appearance, our Labor Day Pets (on video) would be … Emma Hix (May 2020), Carolina White (September 2021), Kenzie Anne (November 2020), Anny Aurora (December 2019), Lacey London (March 2021). Cherie Noel (August 2021), Jisel Lynn (January 2019), Vanna Bardot (January 2021), Meaghan Stanfill (March 2020), Addie Andrews (June 2019), Lacy Lennon (November 2019), Carolina White again (because cowgirls rock), Sky Wonderland (July 2021), and Blake Blossom (December 2020).

In fairness, there were a few flickering body parts in there which we could not identify — a fact that really did not disturb any of us, truth be told. Whatever the case, we salute the video editor that managed to put all of those people in a 60-second video. We were going to conclude with interviews of some of the social media people about how professionally relying only on those with attention spans measured in seconds might not be the wisest long-term strategy, but we could not get one to sit down for the interview.

What a long, strange trip it will be.

By the way, should you really, really want to know about the origins of Labor Day, you can look on History.com for some insight. We should warn you, though, that history seems to have a lot more flashing advertisements than it used to back in the card catalog days.

Cardi B

Cardi B’s New Wave of Feminism

With their booties twerking and bosoms bouncing, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion are jaw-droppingly gorgeous in the video for “WAP.” But the song — whose title is an acronym for Wet-Ass Pussy — ultimately blew the doors wide open for women to speak freely and candidly about their sexuality, making it a modern-day anthem for a new wave of feminism.

Upon its release last year, the Cardi B tune, which features fellow rapper Megan Thee Stallion, sparked discussions often absent from mainstream media and usually restricted to adult magazines. One may not think the phrase “wet-ass pussy” in itself could ever be particularly shocking — especially at time when porn is so easily accessible and men have been explicitly rapping about sex for decades. However, in the time it took for the ladies’ dangerous curves to be showcased in their video — alongside sleek leopards and tigers — Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion had nearly every conservative figure in America taking up airtime to huff and puff — and even allegedly pour holy water in their ears!

It was as if the pundits were grousing: How dare Cardi B radiate unfiltered sexual heat and commit the audacious offense of rapping about her own female body and her own lived experiences!

But is audaciousness necessarily a bad thing?

Indeed, Rep. Maxine Waters echoed the word in praise of “WAP” when the Democratic congresswoman from California said, “Now that is audacity! That is audacity. That is the ability for women to take charge of what they want to say.”

Waters went on to commend Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion for using their art to take control of the prevailing narrative about women and sexuality in hip-hop, one that has long been dominated by men.

Cardi B — a former stripper herself who refuses to hide her past in shame — not only challenges the patriarchy but is a beacon of light to all women who are tired of living in a society still being dragged down by a serious madonna-whore complex. Most importantly, though, as a sex-positive feminist figure, Cardi B is inclusive of all women and expresses this in both the lyrics of “WAP” and its video.

The clip provides a bevvy of lush and extravagant scenes and cameos from stunning women, including artists Normani, Rubi Rose, Sukihana, Rosalía and Mulatto. But Cardi B also invited beauty mogul and Keeping Up with the Kardashians star Kylie Jenner to strut her stuff — and then fought back against critics who demanded her pal be removed from the clip! Cardi B explained, “I wanted a lot of different females, not just female rappers … And I’m like, ‘These are the girls that I personally like.’’’

This spirit of inclusivity is an overdue slap in the face to those who insist women must meet certain criteria to be considered feminists or must fulfill certain domestic roles in order for society to validate their femininity. As the song’s lyrics boast: I don’t cook / I don’t clean / But let me tell you how I got this ring!

It’s true that sex-worker exclusionary feminists exist — and many are also the driving forces behind policies that ultimately limit a woman’s choices, including how she may earn money. Cardi B clearly has no time for this nonsense. As the tune says: There’s some whores in this house. Clearly, Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion are proud to be alongside them. After all, why shouldn’t they be?

While some might focus on the tune’s erotic and whimsical descriptions of sex acts, the ultimate takeaway from the song is that a woman’s sexuality is a source of both power and freedom, and it’s telling that some people are still terribly threatened by that.

But for all of us “certified freaks” out there, Cardi B’s encouragement of women to embrace their bodies and sexuality without fear or shame already resonates and holds immeasurable value. However, if everyone embraced the sex-positive message of “WAP,” the benefits to society at large would undoubtedly trickle down. And if Cardi B — who’s continued the charge with her sassy single “Up” — keeps at it, our cups will runneth over in no time!

Yeah, this whole thing makes so much more sense when you realize that WAP does not represent some advertising slogan that means What About Pepsi? See, that was really confusing. … Now before you go thinking us all hopelessly aged, Cardi B did in fact do a Pepsi commercial for a recent Super Bowl, although the producers perhaps wisely let her reflect the New Wave Feminism silently. If you have ever heard a Carld B song — including most definitely “WAP” — then you will likely understand this decision. Even people born before the RAP Music craze understand the Carli B style, however.

Roadie Revelations

Living Life … LOUD!

Tana Douglas was just 16 years old when she took her first job as a roadie with AC/DC. As the world’s first female roadie, she’s worked with some of the best known, most loved and infamous rock ’n’ roll bands. Her career spans more than 30 years and three continents. She now lives in California, and as she launches her first book, Loud, she speaks to Penthouse about her past, music, bands she loved — and loathed — life lessons and forgiving her mother.

Your book is a compelling read. How did you find the writing process?

It was tricky! I didn’t have any diaries to work from, so I found myself jumping back and forth between tours, trying to make sense of it all. It’s not an easy job making my story digestible for people to read and follow. I started writing and messed around for about a year. I put it down for a year and a half, and then came back to it. So, the whole process took about two and a half years.

Did the experience take over your life?

Yes! I converted a room into a writing room. There were Post-It Notes stuck all over the walls. I kept putting bits in and moving them around. It was like a huge jigsaw puzzle! It was strange, reliving it all, but it’s like free therapy.

You took your first job at 16. What advice would you like to have given to yourself at that age?

Run! No, but as strange as it may sound, it was the safest place for me to be at the time. Sure, parts of it were dark and sordid. People think, “These road crew people are rough. They drink a lot, do drugs. They’re on the road the whole time. They womanize.” But these bands took me in and adopted me, in a way. A lot were very protective of me. Although they weren’t aware of quite how young I was, right back at the beginning. There was a nurturing quality to them that they don’t admit to very often. It’s certainly not the side that people see. For me, it was a safe place to land. I could still be in Kings Cross [a red-light district in Australia], if I would even still be alive.

We’ll talk about Sydney, but first I want to discuss your early years. You start your book writing about being woken up by your mother and told you were leaving your home.

Yes, when I was four, I was taken from the only home I’d ever known in Brisbane in the middle of the night. My mother woke up me and my half-sister and said, “We’re leaving. We can never be happy here.”

And this all came as a shock to you?

Well, as children we thought we were happy. No further explanation was given. We were just woken up, and we left my father asleep in bed. It all went downhill rather quickly from there.

What do you mean by that?

My mother wasn’t stable; she had a lot of demons. She had a really serious road accident in her 20s, and we think that caused a lot of mental damage. It’s the only thing I can identify that I can use to justify her behavior. There’s no other excuse for her.

You write about her drinking and constant moving.

It all shaped my worldview. Growing up in that kind of turmoil, it makes it really difficult as you grow up. You have no clue about relationships. I didn’t know what a relationship was meant to be, or what a family is supposed to be like. In many ways, AC/DC — Malcolm and Angus [Young] especially — became like my family. A road crew is like a family unit; it made me feel safe. My father did try to fix me, but I was 11 by then and I was quite feral! He was saying, “Oh my God, let’s put her in a boarding school. Let’s try this or that.” I suspect he didn’t know how deep the damage was.

Music was an escape for you from a young age?

Yes, from a very young age. Janis Joplin, The Animals, The Stones — listening to music on a radio or stereo. When I listened to The Animals sing: “We’ve got to get out of this place,” I thought, Well, hell yes, sign me up.

Janis Joplin was a huge influence on you?

Her music is heart-wrenching, and I suppose I saw her as a bit of a role model — not that that’s a good thing in many ways. But she stood up for herself. She was a fighter. If I had any role model at that point, it would be her. I was always drawn to darker music because it reflected my life. I was never one for poppy, happy songs!

Early in the Tana Douglas Career
One of the many reminders of the early days in the Australian music scene.

OK, let’s talk about Sydney, Australia. You write about “rubbing elbows with the Sydney mob.” Your encounters were terrifying, including one with a murderous pimp.

I’d come out of the rain forest, which was very not me. I was a little too organized, and I needed to be progressing in life. I ended up in Kings Cross. I adapted easily. I do tend to adapt well, and I found myself getting very sucked in to the scene there, very quickly.

It’s one of those areas in Sydney that has lots of characters.

Yes! Some of the strangest characters that you wouldn’t think had a soft side, but they took me in like a lost kitten. Terry the Kid was one of the Sydney mob who took a shine to me. He would take me to posh restaurants, like I’d gone to with my dad, and he’d order Bombe Alaska, which I loved. And he took me to Randwick Racecourse, which I always enjoyed.

But there was a dark side, too.

I had a lucky escape from a pimp, who was a really nasty piece of work. He basically decided I should be one of his girls. He had a group of very young girls, and I mean very young. I talked to them and befriended them. When he kidnapped me at gunpoint, he decided he was going to shoot me up with heroin, and I was to be one of his working girls. That was my signal. Something inside me just knew: “I’ve got to get out of this place.” And that was the change that got me into music.

Can you see a blessing in the way that all unfolded?

When I think about it, if that pimp hadn’t kidnapped me, and I hadn’t gotten scared and decided I had to make a change, I doubt I’d still be alive. Those young working girls don’t last long, unfortunately. So, I doubt I would have ever made it out of there alive. Plus, he was actually knocking off his girls, which I write about in my book, too.

Tell me about your bond with AC/DC.

They were still in the process of writing their first album. I was the band’s first backline roadie, which meant looking after the stage equipment, instruments and vocals for Bon [Scott] when rehearsing. The bond is so strong between us because we were all so young. It leaves an imprint on you. I was a very young girl, who’d run away from home. We were all learning, and that bond lasts a lifetime. Those guys will always have a special place in my heart; I couldn’t get rid of it, even if I wanted to. I’m so grateful, looking back. It could have been a very different situation. I mean, it’s not always good living in a house with musicians! But we had a family bond that was stronger than any of that side of band life.

So you’ll always be in touch?

Absolutely. Any time I’ve crossed paths with them over the decades, it’s been like stepping back into the same old shoes. It’s just there. And it’s something that I’m really grateful for.

Can you share a favorite memory?

I think the bonding times, especially when it was just the five of us — Malcolm, Angus, Bon, George [Young] with Harry [Vanda] coming back and forth. We’d sit around and listen to music for hours and hours, and talk about how it made us feel. Malcolm especially was very generous that way. He and Angus once put on Elvis Presley’s “Heartbreak Hotel.” I ran from the room screaming, “No!” The only thing I’d seen of Elvis in my childhood was those horrible movies. “I can’t listen to this,” I said as I ran away.

Malcolm must have got up early to go to a record store because he came back home with a record that wasn’t widely released. It was called Insane Asylum by Kathi McDonald. He chose [the title] track, a version of “Heartbreak Hotel,” because she’d worked with Janis Jopin. And, specifically, he chose that song because he knew I’d relate to it. He said, “I want you to listen to this,” sat me down, played it, and I said, “I love it!” He said, “That album’s for you to keep.” Those sort of moments, when someone goes out of their way for you like that, they stay with you forever.

You say the Australian music scene revolved around the pub circuit.

At that time, yes. It was rough and ready! It was incredibly healthy. There were pubs everywhere. You could do 12 or 14 shows a week. When we were working, the manager, Michael, said, “Right, let’s put these guys to work.” And we did! I can still hear us playing at the Matthew Flinders Hotel on a Sunday afternoon. There would be over a thousand people watching. It was wild and woolly, you know! The Bondi Lifesaver was a bit trendier; the clientele were a bit more, how should I say, diversified. It was known as the wife-swapper. We looked at each other at one point and said, “We’ve done really well. We sold out four nights in a row.” AC/DC were a power to be reckoned with, that’s for sure.

And you were with them for years as they changed?

They certainly changed over the years. When Phil [Rudd] joined from Angry Anderson’s band [Buster Brown] that was a whole new scene. We toughened up pretty quickly! And you know, just because those fans had enjoyed seeing Phil in Buster Brown, didn’t mean they’d love him in AC/DC. And then, in country towns, guys had worked hard on those ranches since they were little. They don’t tend to like strange men coming into town and messing with their women! It’s not every day you have a knock-down fight with Deep Purple. Those things stay with you.

Roadie Revelations About Suzi Quatro
Tana Douglas has a special place in her memory for touring with Suzi Quatro.

Talk to me about working with Suzi Quatro.

That was after I’d worked with AC/DC, the first time I’d worked with a woman. And I think it was the first time Suzi had a woman working with her. It was funny to watch the male audience members. There were grown men passing out. Oh, the memories of that! One time, at the Pavilion, the guys were passing young men onto the stage who’d been overcome by Suzi’s presence. Remember, there were no crush barriers in those days, so the guys would pick them up and pass them to the side. There was one guy lying in a hallway, and everyone was like, “What shall we do with him?” I was standing over him as he came round. He said, “Ohhhh, Suzi,” and passed out again. I was wearing a leather jacket, but if he was so far gone that he thought I was Suzi, he wasn’t with it! Somewhere, he probably still tells the story today about when he came round at a concert to see Suzi Quatro standing over him.

Tell me about the Wings tour party with Paul McCartney in the ’70s.

We threw a party for the Wings tour; it lasted three days! The neighborhood was a little over it by the end. All the Australian crew, the U.S. crew, the U.K. crew, then various members of bands turned up. Jimmy McCulloch, then the brass section of the band. It just kept growing. The police arrived, and we just said, “It’s a party for the Wings tour,” and they blocked off traffic to the street! The neighbors had been complaining for days, but the cops just blocked off the traffic. It was quite the bash, and you know, several people from that party have remained lifelong friends.

Three days worth remembering?

Well, three days well forgotten!

I loved your descriptions of life on tour in your book.

Life on tour gets very surreal. You’re living in a bubble. You lose touch with reality; there is no reality. These tours go on for 12 or 18 months, and if it’s a good team fit, you do it all again. You build up a tight affinity with each other. You don’t let outsiders in. If you know you can all rely on each other, you close the doors. You don’t like a stranger coming in, unless someone knows them and vouches for them. I got to the point where I didn’t bother to learn names. I’d automatically turn off and think, What’s the point of remembering, I’m never going to see them again. I still find myself doing it to this day. I’m still really bad with names. It’s a false world you’re living in.

And it’s hard to adapt coming out of it?

It’s really hard to adapt to coming out of it. Lots of musicians have serious mental health problems. With road crew professionals, you’ll find many have a hard time with their wives, partners, families or siblings. You’re so close to your bandmates, and then all of a sudden you’re thrust back into a world that’s alien.

We don’t tend to talk about mental health and the road crew.

There are organizations these days to address these issues, but back then there was no support. Remember, we’re alpha personalities. We don’t like saying, “I’m hurting,” or, “I can’t do this,” probably because we know if we do say that, someone else will come in and take our place. On tour, life doesn’t slow down.

You write that internationally touring bands were the real magic, as they gave you access to the world. Was traveling a priority for you?

It was the only priority to me! It was, without doubt, my highest priority. I never wanted more money, or anything financially precious. I just wanted more; I knew there was more out there, and I wanted to discover it all. I wanted to experience different cultures.

Has that love of travel stayed with you?

It hasn’t stopped! I haven’t stopped moving on! I’m somewhere for a few years, and then I want to continue learning. There’s forever more out there.

Tell me about Status Quo.

Status Quo is one of my darling bands, above most others. They were such fun to work with. Again, it was like a family unit. We built our own systems and worked with them directly, so that broke away another layer of separation. They’re funny guys, and they were at their peak. They were having a ball, loving the shows, loving their music, loving their fans. I worked with them at the perfect time. There’s a magic when a band’s first forming. They’re still fresh and so vibrant. I don’t like working for old, jaded bands, and, unfortunately, there are a lot out there!

What are your memories of Iggy Pop?

There was some guy at a show in the U.K., who was trying to get backstage at Iggy’s show. The guy didn’t have a pass. In fact, it was a prime example of me being bad with names. I got back to the dressing room and said, “He says he’s supposed to be here,” but I couldn’t remember his name. They asked, “What does he look like?” I said, “Kind of average, kind of old.” “What do you mean by old, how old?” they asked. “At least 27 or 28,” I replied. Then I realized that’s how old they all were. That was my cue to leave!

It was in 1970 on the Whitesnake tour that you found out you were pregnant. What memories does that bring back for you?

Getting pregnant wasn’t something that was in the cards, you know. It was terrifying to be honest. I got on a plane from Europe to Australia, and I fell apart. I didn’t know where to turn. I thought that Australia was at least the only place where I had a bit of support. I hadn’t seen my mother since I started working with AC/DC. We’d spoken, but I hadn’t seen her. I’d spent all my time around guys, and I had no one to talk to. I knew it would be a deal-breaker for my career. It was a huge decision to make, all of a sudden. I didn’t know how well equipped I would be to handle a family of my own. I didn’t want to deal with the father. But I had my son, and my mother decided it would be a good idea [for her] to raise him. We agreed that I would continue to work in Europe and support them both. It didn’t work out.

Your mother let you down again?

I thought she was better; I thought she didn’t drink anymore. She had a bigger place. I got her settled. She had a garden and was cooking and doing all sorts of things I hadn’t seen her do before. I’d heard stories about grandparents being closer to grandchildren than [their kids], and maybe it was just wishful thinking. Unfortunately, she still saw it as a way to torture me.

You ask in your book if you’re allowed not to love your mother.

Just because someone’s a parent, loving them isn’t obligatory. I understand there’s natural DNA, but that only goes so far. I can only speak from my own experience, but you have to decide if you’re prepared to love someone without any boundaries. I got to a place where I finally forgave her for what she did to me and my son. What’s that saying? Seek revenge, and you should dig two graves, one for yourself. Finally, I realized I had to let it go. I came to as much peace as I could find. But let me say, it wasn’t easy.

You have some memories of Elton John.

I worked with Elton for four years, which were during his difficult years. He went through a really rough patch. He threw great parties. People used to loving doing his tours for the eye candy because you never knew who was going to turn up. But he’s just not my kind of person. I’m not a fancy dresser. I don’t drive expensive cars. I don’t eat with gold cutlery. There’s a side to him that’s really nice, and that’s flourished later in life. He’s got a family now. He seems happy with his husband [David Furnish] and children [Zachary, 10, and Elijah, 8, who were born via surrogate in the U.S.]. At the time I worked with him, you couldn’t have paid me any amount of money to do another tour with him. So, it makes me happy to see he’s come through it.

In your book, you mention Yoko Ono and Sean, her son with the late John Lennon.

Yoko came onstage at Madison Square Garden to commemorate John. She had Sean with her. It was a big deal then. There were lots of security men in black around, maybe a dozen. They came up onstage with her. Remember her husband had been shot, and she had his child with her. I had a sweet moment with him, little Sean. They were dragging him up the steps, and his shoelaces were undone. I grabbed him, put him on my knee and started doing up his laces. All these men in black swarmed around shouting, “Freeze.” I said, “His laces are undone.” Sean smiled, gave me a hug, said thank you, and they whisked him up onstage.

In your epilogue you write, “If you want it done, leave it to a roadie.” Does that kind of sum it all up?

We roadies don’t mess around! We don’t have time for red tape. We just do the job. If anyone asks you do something, you just figure out how to do it. We find solutions. Management companies and agents, they’re the ones going through emails and contracts. When I was asked if I could get INXS, I said sure. I spoke to people I knew and made it happen. It’s just how you do it. You reach out to a friend. That’s just how we roll!

You also included a memoriam in the book. Was that your idea?

Yes, and it’s not a full list. It’s just a short list of people who have passed from within the industry and are relevant to the stories told in the book. Each chapter has a song title, which gives you some idea about what’s going to happen in that chapter. I also included a playlist. My book basically gives the reader broad coverage of three decades of music. I really hope people enjoy it.

LOUD: A Life in Rock ‘n’ Roll by the World’s First Female Roadie | Tana Douglas (ABC Books, $34.99). Buy the ebook via Apple. Should your tech be evolved beyond analog amps, you can also grab LOUD for your Kindle. As an unsolicited endorsement, we can tell you that at least one of the Kindle people here really enjoyed the “Loud” ride.

Roadie Revelations for the New Photographer

Welcome, Alain! The Quo initiation for a photographer new to our group, Alain le Garsmeur. Meanwhile I’m try to call the show.

For more Roadie Tales, you may look behind one of our other Penthouse Doors. Handy, that.

Bum Rush

Bum’s The Word

Sex acts and fetishizing body parts go in and out of vogue in pop culture. In the ’90s, we were all about blowjobs and big boobs, but these days, we’re all about the booty. Bums aren’t just having a moment, though — our obsession with the ass runs deep and has reached fever pitch. Welcome to 2021, where having a shapely derriere is in fashion, anal sex is mainstream and rimming is the new second base. We’re in the age of the ass, and there’s no escaping it. Not that we’d want to.

Whether it’s the “forbidden fruit” taboo aspect of sticking our tongue in someone’s backdoor, the potential for both pain and pleasure that can come with a touch of backdoor sex, or the simple fact that we like to admire butts, so it’s expected that we would want to touch them — asses have a universal desirability among both men and women.

A survey conducted by The Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2010 found that 40 percent of women aged 20 to 24 had tried anal sex, up from 16 percent in previous years. More recently, a 2017 study of more than 3,000 sexually active Millennials found that 36 percent engaged in female anal sex and 15 percent in male anal sex “at least some of the time.” One 2018 study published in the journal of the American Sexually Transmitted Diseases Association even suggested that “anal sex is more common than having a Twitter account in the United States.”

PornHub data also shows that the number of searches for “anal” increased by a massive 120 percent from 2009 to 2015, suggesting that our obsession with watching anal action is continually growing. Especially in Russia. Apparently, internet porn users in Russia are more likely to search for videos featuring anal sex than people from any other country.

Prolific porn star Asa Akira even once tweeted, “Ass is the new pussy.”

But it’s not just porn (and the Russians) that are focused on the female derriere, though — asses have also heavily infiltrated pop culture. Throughout the late ’90s and early 2000s, we all gawked at Jennifer Lopez’s ass like it was a mystical creature, yet a decade later, celebrities and influencers are tripping over themselves in an attempt to get the biggest, roundest bum.

We see anal sex and rimjob references in TV shows and movies like Narcos, Sex and the City, Broad City, Bad Santa, Girls and How to Get Away with Murder. Butts have also had a long history of being idolized in song, from Queen’s 1978 ass anthem “Fat Bottomed Girls,” to 1992’s “Baby Got Back” and Nicki Minaj famously singing, “Somebody point me to the best ass-eater” in the song “Dance (A$$)” by Big Sean, and in “Anaconda” she sings “toss my salad like his name Romaine.” Hell, popular musician Flume was even filmed eating ass on stage at Burning Man in 2019.

In the last few years, there’s also been a shift in sex toy companies focusing on more creative and ergonomic toys for anal play. Anal toys come in various forms now and often include vibrators and various attachments, with some having the ability to be controlled remotely via apps. You can buy lubes specifically designed for anal use. And interest in pegging and strap-ons for straight couples has been increasing.

Forrest Andrews, a product developer at Aneros, the world’s first dedicated prostate massage maker, said, “The market for prostate products has been steadily on the rise.” A decade ago, sex toy shop Babeland only carried a few prostate-focused toys, but today they stock almost 30 different models by a bunch of different companies.

Just for fun, we looked up the history of butts on Google, and you might be amazed and the number of responses returned (566,000,000). We liked the Allure article the most, probably, but we did not quite make it through that entire list, truth be told. Mostly we all sat back in wonder and awe upon reflection of the modern world. Before Google, you see, one would have had to use a card catalog at the local library to do a search like this, which would be a bit like using a screwdriver to paint your car. Proper tools are important, as you may learn someday in your own lives. Then a few of us spent the next few minutes trying to explain to all the younger members of our group what a card catalog was — and a library. We’ll leave out that part of the conversation, because there may have been a lot of cursing.

The bottom line (according to Ms. Wee) would be: We’re in an anal revolution — no ifs or ands … just butts. Ya bum.