Classic Albums to Blast All Summer

Girlschool — Hit and Run (1981)

Championed by Lemmy Kilmister of Motörhead, Britain’s first all-girl heavy metal band burst onto the rock scene in 1979 when they toured with their mentors on Motörhead’s Overkill run. Known for their contagious hooks and wild stage presence, Girlschool’s Hit and Run is the band’s biggest, best album, a nonstop rush of pure, heart-thumping rock that makes you want to drive dangerously fast on a freeway heading out of town.

Nazareth — Razamanaz (1973)

Scottish hard rock legends Nazareth broke the mold with their 1975 album Hair of the Dog, but the real jam is its predecessor, Razamanaz. This baby is nothing less than perfection, from the title track to “Bad Bad Boy” to “Woke Up This Morning” (produced by Deep Purple’s Roger Glover). A parade of hits and feel-good rock ’n’ roll that keeps you feeling young and stoked.

Ace Frehley — Ace Frehley (1978)

When KISS finally had enough of each other’s egos, they all decided to head off and record their own solo albums in a weird, passive-aggressive competition to see who could outsell the other. The Spaceman’s album outshone his bandmates, and for good reason. This first solo effort is a total banger. Songs like “Rip It Out,” “Snow Blind,” and “Wiped-Out” will remind you of the good ol’ days of rock ’n’ roll, while “New York Groove,” written by England’s Russ Ballard, is a straight-up summer classic.

Thin Lizzy — Bad Reputation (1977)

It wouldn’t be summer without some Thin Lizzy, and Bad Reputation is one of their most ferocious records. Even though there was a lot of internal drama surrounding the recording process (guitarist Brian Robertson left the band and was only credited on three tracks), this lean, dangerous rock album has stood the test of time. Play it loud, boys.

Silverhead — Silverhead (1972)

A British glam rock band, Silverhead might have had an abbreviated run, but these skinny, raunchy party boys—led by singer-actor Michael Des Barres—made some killer music before parting ways. Their self-titled 1972 release is a hidden treasure of sexy, classic rock, with dirty lyrics and sparkling production. From the first song “Long Legged Lisa” to “Rolling With My Baby” to the stand-out track “Sold Me Down the River,” it’s no wonder these talented skanks were primed to be the next Slade.

Rory Gallagher — Tattoo (1973)

Tattoo is a rare gem of Irish blues delivered by guitarist Rory Gallagher. Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, Queen’s Brian May, and Johnny Marr of The Smiths all praised Gallagher for his music, even though he never hit the mainstream the way these musicians did. Tattoo will send you into a swirling spiral of blues guitar rock, mixing heavy hitters and soothing tracks perfect for long summer drives.

John Prine — Sweet Revenge (1973)

This record just makes you want to kick off your boots, lay down by a lake or river, sip on a beer, and let your mind float away. So, do just that. Lose yourself listening to a country-folk classic that juiced Prine’s career. Brain pillow, indeed.

David Allan Coe — Penitentiary Blues (1970)

Before he solidified himself as the swampland’s dirtiest country singer, David Allan Coe released Penitentiary Blues, a seedy amalgam of country, blues, and rock ’n’ roll. This surprising album is a rare collection of twangy blues riffs about the down-and-out days Coe spent locked up in the South. References to heroin, “Monkey David Wine,” death row, alligators, and “eating meat with a spoon” all flow into place as this underrated masterpiece chugs through you. “Let’s go to the jungle now….”

Essential Travel Products for Every Man

URSA MAJOR TRAVEL ESSENTIALS KIT

This travel-size collection will help you get from home to a foreign land feeling refreshed and ready to take on your first day in a new time zone. The multiuse kit includes their Fantastic Face Wash, 4-in-1 Essential Face Tonic, Fortifying Face Balm, Essential Face Wipes, and Hoppin’ Fresh Deodorant. There’s just enough of each to convince you you’ll want them all in greater quantities once you get home from your trip.

NEUTROGENA MEN TRIPLE PROTECT FACE LOTION BROAD SPECTRUM SPF 20

Simple, effective, and ultra-moisturizing, this face cream will have you boosted all day and protected against the sun. Neutrogena has been dominating the skincare game for decades because they make affordable, quality products that do the job better than most. We love this face cream, and you will too.

HIMS IMMUNITY GUMMY VITAMINS

Keep your immune system fortified with these gummy-bear blasts of vitamin A, E, and K. Pop three a day while on airplanes, subways, and trains to keep other people’s nastiness at bay. Plus, the Meyer lemon flavor will make your taste buds happy.

J-PILLOW TRAVEL NECK PILLOW

This pillow may look ridiculous, but there’s a reason it’s been voted the most necessary travel accessory over and over. It’s the best on the market, ingeniously crafted for getting you some serious sleep — a slumber that won’t leave you with a crick in your neck when you wake. It even provides chin support. You may look like a weirdo with this thing wrapped around your head, but you’ll be dead asleep, so who cares?

W&P DESIGN CARRY-ON COCKTAIL KIT

The first thing some of us need once we buckle in for a long flight is a stiff drink, but vodka and canned tomato juice does not a Bloody Mary make. The W&P Design Carry-On Cocktail Kit sets you up with all the fixings you’ll need to make your favorite cocktail while in flight. Plus, this product is TSA-approved, so there won’t be any problem pre-flight.

BRICKELL MAXIMUM STRENGTH MEN’S HAND CREAM

This fast-absorbing, lightweight, nongreasy hand cream is perfect for the ramblin’ man. Nourished with vitamin E, shea butter, and jojoba oil, the unique balm locks in moisture, and comes unscented or scented with peppermint, eucalyptus, and lemongrass essential oils.

GOODWIPES BODY WIPES FOR GUYS

During those crazy trips that don’t give you time for a five-minute shower, these extra-large wipes have got you covered. They’re made with tea tree oil, peppermint, and ginseng, are alcohol- and paraben-free, and 100 percent biodegradable and hypoallergenic. Whether you’re mid-meeting, post-fishing, or rushing from CrossFit to dinner, one swipe to your crucial spots is all you’ll need.

ANTHONY FACIAL SCRUB

This best-selling facial scrub uses Bora Bora white sand to exfoliate dead skin cells and eliminate ingrown hairs. It’s also packed with vitamin C, aloe vera, algae, and chamomile to help your face feel smooth and clean. Treat yourself.

ROWENTA DR8080 X-CEL STEAM HANDHELD GARMENT STEAMER

On the road, your clothes are bound to get wrinkled no matter how hard you try to prevent it. That’s the way it goes. Get ahead of the game with this powerful little portable steamer, whose rapid, impressive steam capacity not only smooths out your garments, but sanitizes them. Just add water, heat it up, and you’ll be free of those wrinkles in no time.

HERSCHEL NOVEL DUFFLE

Herschel’s signature duffle bag has received rave reviews since its inception. This classic carry-on is both stylish and functional with its patterned fabric liner, internal storage sleeves, two-way waterproof zipper, and signature shoe compartment. It’s pretty much the perfect weekend bag.

Must-Read Poolside Books for Summer

THE CODDLING OF THE AMERICAN MIND

How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure

Jonathan Haidt, Greg Lukianoff

Is there a risk to treating children and young adults like Fabergé eggs—or snowflakes ready to melt at the slightest heat? Yes, the authors argue, because overprotection means they won’t develop the resilience they’ll need in life. Using today’s college campus—that bubble of trigger warnings and safe spaces—as Exhibit A, Haidt and Lukianoff expose an entire culture that’s too emotional, tribal, dogmatic, and brittle.

WHEN

The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing

Daniel H. Pink

Want to maximize your time on Earth, starting tomorrow? Pink is here to help with a brilliant series of life-hacks targeting daily schedules and routines. But he doesn’t stop there. He also taps a wealth of scientific research to help you pick the right moment to make a big life move—in love, work, and more. And he does it all with great stories and humor.

MR. KNOWITALL

The Tarnished Wisdom of a Filth Elder

John Waters

Most of us don’t have a comic-genius friend who’s been making movies for decades, who parties with people like Johnny Depp and Tracey Ullman, and who once hitchhiked across America at age 66 wearing a “Scum of the Earth” ball cap. But we’re in luck! Lover of weirdness, connoisseur of crude, John Waters brings us inside his crazy life with a new blast of uncensored storytelling.

SUPERMARKET

Bobby Hall

Rapper, singer, and record producer Bobby Hall—aka Logic—has done something that Jay-Z, Eminem, Ice Cube, Ice-T, Wiz Khalifa, and many other hip-hop artists have never done—write a novel. It’s a head-trip psychological thriller, with sex, drugs, and murder, about an Oregon supermarket clerk with a messed-up life. The multitalented Maryland native, now 29, says he wrote it for the challenge. Corpse in aisle nine, anyone?

THE RIVER

Peter Heller

What if you and a college buddy were on a canoe trip in northern Canada and paddled your way into a raging wildfire? Then you encounter a guy who might have offed the woman sharing his canoe? And this potential killer turns his attention to you next. That’s the premise of this gripping thriller by a former Outside magazine editor and world-class kayaker. Think Deliverance in the Great White North.

RANGE

How Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World

David Epstein

To become elite at something, you have to focus all your time and energy on it, and start young, right? Isn’t that what Malcolm Gladwell teaches with his “10,000-hour rule”? Look at Mozart, right? Wrong. So says acclaimed science writer Epstein in a book even Gladwell finds compelling. Epstein demonstrates that success comes to those who gain a range of experiences, learn varied skills, take detours, and even switch careers.

MIND AND MATTER

A Life in Math and Football

John Urschel and Louisa Thomas

It sounds like a fanciful Hollywood movie—a lineman for the Baltimore Ravens, formerly one of college football’s greatest at Penn State, pursues a mathematics PhD at MIT while earning a living protecting quarterbacks from rampaging rushers. Now retired from the NFL, Urschel shares his incredible story of pursuing two very different passions—and becoming exceptional in both arenas.

WEED

Everything You Want to Know But Are Always Too Stoned to Ask

Michelle Lhooq

L.A.-based Lhooq, a former music editor at VICE, has created a weed wonderland between the pages of her book—the ultimate guide to the exciting new landscape of cannabis. Witty and vivid illustrations from artist Thu Tran complement Lhooq’s zesty (and very funny) compendium, which covers smoking, growing, cooking, scoring, edibles, stoner etiquette, and more, and features interviews with weed innovators, celebs, and pros.

UNDERLAND

A Deep Time Journey

Robert Macfarlane

A Scottish author, hiker, mountaineer, and Cambridge University scholar, Macfarlane may be the greatest nature writer in English. A wizard of words and story, he delivers a masterpiece here, exploring the dark realms beneath the Earth’s surface, from caves to Paris catacombs to deep-sunk repositories for nuclear waste. To accompany his many adventures, he reflects on the “underworlds” of myth, legend, story, and religion.

WHITE

Bret Easton Ellis

As you might guess from the title, Ellis, author of American Psycho, is here to provoke. No stranger to controversy (Psycho depicted ultraviolence and extreme misogyny), Ellis crushes political correctness, social media’s “cult of likability,” and America’s “overreaction epidemic.” He advises liberals to moan less about Trump. Progressive Twitter went ballistic months before White published. Here’s your chance to see what all the fuss was about.

Stripper Tips: How to Act at the Club

Bring money

The strip club is not your neighborhood bar, so don’t get peeved when the girls approach you. Sure, you’re under no obligation to have a dance, but at the very least, bring some greenbacks. And if for some reason you’re short on cash, don’t fret—PayPal and Venmo are your friends! This also cuts out the typical 20 percent strip-club credit card surcharge. A win for both of you.

If you’re front row, pay for the show

Strip-club etiquette 101:

If you’re sitting at the stage, expect that the girls will come, shake their groove thing, and pull out their G string for a tip. That is your cue to show some love. If you proceed to just stare and not tip, it’s the ultimate insult and, not to mention, lame as fuck.

Time is money

Keep in mind that clubs charge a house fee. The girls have an overhead the minute they walk in. Sure, we can talk, but we can’t sit and hang out with you for hours. This is work time, not playtime. Tipping for conversation is strongly encouraged. And if you want your favorite dancer to yourself all night, get a room, a bottle, and a few hundred bucks.

This is not a petting zoo

Different cities have different rules regarding what goes down. And the clubs within those cities have their own rules. This also comes down to personal discretion. Remember: It’s her body, not yours. You should never take it upon yourself to go to her nether regions unless she makes it clear she wants you to.

Pay to come

We get that lap dances can induce thunder down under. After all, we want to make sure the blood’s circulating properly down there. But if it’s so good that you come in your pants and it gets on her, make sure you tip somewhere in the realm of $50-$100. At the very least, think of it as a dry-cleaning fee.

Something for the ladies

Couples can be fun. What’s not fun is the insecure girlfriend/wife in the club, not keen on seeing another woman slather herself all over her man. We promise, we’re not trying to take him. Just his wallet. Think of a dance as an accelerant. He’s going to get hot and bothered and take it out on you at the end of the night.

NOT All strippers are broken

For most of the girls, dancing is a stepping-stone to a better life—be it college, a down payment on a home, or shattering some debt. The next time you decide to paint them all as “broken” or diagnose them with “daddy issues,” think twice. That dance you’re paying for might be funding an MBA.

Put your camera away

Strip clubs are akin to casinos as far as photography and video are concerned. Don’t forget that most strippers do this in secret. And, honestly, no one wants to be broadcast on your social without their consent.

“What are you doing later?”

After dancing in seven-inch heels all night, we most likely want to soak in a hot tub and go to sleep. No joke—dancing all night gives way to a shitload of issues, from knee problems to bunions. You’re not the only one who gets stiff.

“Is that all?”

Look, we get that you’re turned on and, yeah, it might be a buzzkill to rub one out in the bathroom after a lap dance. However, we’re not banging you. We’re dancers, not hookers.

The Best Chopper-Restoration Shops in America

Zylstra Choppers

Grand Rapids, Michigan

Zylstra Choppers is a heartland gem for chopper lovers. Founded by Reece Zylstra in 2009, the once modest shop has grown to specialize in shovelheads, frame hard-tailing and repair, welding, fabrication, and machining. Find more of Zylstra’s work on Instagram: @zylstrachoppers 

Snodgrass Vintage Parts

Louisville, Kentucky

Run by Ivan Snodgrass, this vintage restoration and custom shop rebuilds choppers and sells hard-to-find individual bike parts. Snodgrass posts most of his rarities on his Instagram account, so they can be purchased at the click of a button and shipped right to your door. Check out the selection: @snodgrass_vintage_parts

The Dojo

Birmingham, Alabama

This custom shop in the heart of Birmingham is run by a bunch of bike-loving friends nicknamed The Haints, who party as hard as they work. It’s not the place to get your brakes fixed, but if you want to drink whiskey and blast Lynyrd Skynyrd while you watch your chopper turn into a purring machine, give any of the Haints boys a call. Find out more at @nickhaints@haint_touch_this, @jbody, @6rambino9, @danieldaybowles, @activeuser1, @apeknuckles_haints, @beerbrains, @thingman, @robby.haints24, @shitstain, or search #teamhaints

Jacksons Choppers

Austin, Texas 

Jackson’s Choppers offers a slew of services, including full bike builds (come with your dream chopper in mind—they’ll source the parts and bring your vision to the road), custom fabrication on frames, sissy bars, seat pans, and tank modifications. They also offer electrical, part installation, and mechanical repairs. Find more at jacksonschoppers.com or @jacksons_choppers

Slaughter Shack

St. Louis, Missouri

The Slaughter Shack’s motto is simple: Choppers only. If you want your custom chopper to come to life, go see bad boy Kenny Slaughter in the River City. Slaughter is a talented builder who can turn your old bike into the beast it wants to be with his unique, powerful one-off builds. Check out his bikes: @kennyslaughter

Bravetown

Chicago, Illinois

This collective of motorcycle enthusiasts is not your typical bike business, but a group of old friends (Rob Hultz, Brian Harlow, Jason Zeisloft, and Brad Reardon) who love anything on two wheels. “We ride what we build,” says Hultz. They’ve created a name for themselves specializing in ground-up builds of Harley-Davidsons, Triumphs, custom choppers, dirt bikes, and even vans, as well as metal fabrication and mechanical work. Check them out: @bobbygt, @rffr, and @casualjay

Our Favorite Garage Tools

Who doesn’t love getting a new, high-powered treat for the garage?

MAKITA LITHIUM – ION CORDLESS CHAIN SAW

Maybe you don’t need a chain saw, but who doesn’t want one? This cordless Makita toes that fine line between need and want. With all the speed, agility, and power of a gas chain saw, but with 40 percent less noise, you can carve up logs in the backyard while the babes are sleeping inside. And with no engine oil to change, no spark plug to replace, and no muffler to clean out, there’s no way to go wrong.

EAGLE SILENT SERIES 20GALLON AIR COMPRESSOR

Every man should have an air compressor, but something quiet is crucial. The Eagle Silent Series is quoted at 53 decibels from 25 feet away, which means you can work all night long and none of the neighbors will bitch. The Eagle boasts an oil-free double-piston pump system and anti-vibration feet, so you can drag this thing on all terrains without scrambling its insides.

3M WORKTUNES WIRELESS HEARINGPROTECTOR HEADPHONES

Heavy duty as hell, these noise-cancelling headphones are made to overpower the sound of your most obnoxious grinder. With Bluetooth technology you can stream music and podcasts from your phone or tablet without a hitch. Be a good neighbor by blasting entertainment for your ears only. Carol and Ed next door don’t want to listen to “The Joe Rogan Experience” with you.

DEWALT 9-GALLON POLY WET-DRY VAC

Light, compact, and extra powerful, this shop vac does the trick at just under $100. Forget sweeping up metal bits and wood chips from your floor when you have this thing around. It’s got rubberized casters for smooth swiveling and movement, as well as an accessory storage bag attached to the back, making garage clean-up that much easier.

MAKITA CXT BRUSHLESS CORDLESS DRIVERDRILL

Every hobbyist needs a solid cordless drill, and the Makita is our favorite with its powerful, compact efficiency that pushes 280 pounds of torque. Plus, this portable drill runs on a brushless motor, delivering as much as 50 percent more run time on every battery charge.

The Best Spa Getaways in America

THE CLIFF HOUSE

Cape Neddick, Maine

If you fancy a romantic New England getaway, you can’t go wrong with this stylish cliffside resort. With ocean views up the wazoo, this historic hotel has all the best modern amenities, including an outdoor heated pool and a 9,000 square-foot spa. Gorge yourself on local seasonal fare at the resort’s “farmer to fisherman” eatery, or at the seasonal, onsite lobster shack. In summer, there are fireworks every Sunday, followed by s’mores around a fire pit.

CALDERA HOUSE

Teton Village, Wyoming

A five-star Jackson Hole chalet, Caldera is steps from the tram, which zips you to the mountaintop in ten minutes. Each of its eight suites comes with a fireplace, chef’s kitchen, and living and dining areas. Come in the winter for primo skiing, then hit the spa for a massage, sauna, and dip in the heated outdoor infinity pool. In warmer months, there’s hiking, fly-fishing, and white-water rafting.

MONTAGE PALMETTO BLUFF

Bluffton, South Carolina

For some next-level Southern hospitality, this 20,000-acre community along the May River offers boating, fishing, a nature preserve, naturalist-led alligator “hunts,” and a Jack Nicklaus Signature golf course, among other diversions. Guest rooms, suites, and cottages with screened-in porches are available in and around the plantation-style inn, and the numerous bars and restaurants, concerts, and a world-class spa will ensure you’ll never want to leave.

SALISH LODGE & SPA

Snoqualmie, Washington

After a $13 million renovation, the WWI-era inn (also known as the Great Northern Hotel in Twin Peaks) emerged a sleek mountain lodge boasting one of America’s best spas. Thirty miles east of Seattle, it’s surrounded by hiking paths, biking trails, lakes, and golf courses. Each of its 86 rooms comes with a fireplace and spa shower or tub; if you’re lucky you’ll get one overlooking Snoqualmie Falls.

OJO CALIENTE MINERAL SPRINGS RESORT & SPA

Ojo Caliente, New Mexico

An hour north of Santa Fe, this southwestern oasis has been revivifying guests since 1868. Spend your days exploring a thousand acres of trails, then return for a yoga class and a soak in the mineral pools and mud baths. The spa offers extensive body-treatment options, with seasonal specials for couples. Stay at the historic hotel, or in your own private, pueblo-style cottage or house.

Image courtesy of Salish Lodge & Spa.

Our Favorite New Sex Toys for Couples

Cresendo by Mystery Vibe

The Crescendo boasts that it’s the “world’s first luxury bendable vibrator that can adapt to any body shape.” Sounds pretty good, right? But this sleek, pliable rod is better than good. With six powerful motors and custom-vibration capability, the whisper-quiet Crescendo is perfect for every couple since it adjusts to fit both of you. An ideal starter sex toy. Continue reading “Our Favorite New Sex Toys for Couples”

Road Trip Right This Summer

USE A PAPER MAP

Google Maps and Waze are great tools for when you’re trying to get from A to B in the city, but when it comes to making your cross-country dreams a reality, you need to go old-school. That means trusting a paper map. Digital maps only tell half the story, and you’ll miss out on all the exciting backroads and side streets that could lead to discovering something cool. Road tripping is all about exploration and seeing everything you can, so don’t deprive yourself. Spend the five bucks and get a paper map.

PRICELINE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND

Priceline, Hotels.com, Trivago, and all the hotel apps are going to help you out once you hit the road. Booking in advance isn’t necessary now that you can get a five-star hotel for the price of a three-star a few hours before check-in. These apps are made for road warriors, so take advantage of the comfort, luxury, and ease.

STICK TO THE SMALL ROADS

You aren’t going to find anything out of the ordinary by taking the freeway and stopping at some run-of-the-mill rest stop when you need to take a leak. Get off the main road and do some exploring. Getting lost is the point. America is chock-full of rustic mom-and-pop stores with the wildest trinkets, taxidermy, Americana, and vintage guns. Ask questions. You never know what you’ll find.

KEEP YOUR TRUNKS IN THE BACKSEAT

When driving across the country, you’ll be amazed at how many remarkable bodies of water we have in this great nation. Be sure to take a detour and dive in! Are you heading through Brattleboro, Vermont? Check out Indian Love Call. Find yourself in Texas? Be sure to map out Barton Springs in Austin. Want to blow your mind? Check out Hot Springs National Park in northern Arkansas. Sure, the hotel pool at the Loews Santa Monica has all the luxury one could want, but there’s nothing like jumping into fresh water in the middle of nowhere.

GET THE GASBUDDY APP

This app is one of the most helpful digital devices when you’re road tripping. It lets you know where the nearest, cheapest gas is so if you’re running low you’ll never have to fret.

PACK CAMPING GEAR

Even if you never plan on sleeping outdoors, we highly suggest you pack some rudimentary camping gear just in case. You never know what you’re going to come across, or if the mood to sleep under the stars will strike. Driving down the West Coast is heaven, and there are so many beachside places to stop for the night. Basics include a two-person tent, a roll-out mat, sleeping bags, pillows, a multipurpose knife, and a high-quality cooler for snacks and drinks.

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AAA

This tip seems like a major “duh,” but you should never hit the road without making sure your membership is up-to-date. You never know when you’ll need a tow.

TASTE IT ALL

As you travel through each great state, be sure to taste the food of the land. Don’t go to New Mexico and have sushi. Get on your iPhone and find the best green chili the state has to offer. Eat lobster in Maine. Chow down on deep-dish pizza in Chicago. If you find yourself in Cincinnati, you have to try the Five-Way Chili. For those who are adventurous, get the Garbage Plate at Nick Tahou Hots in Rochester, New York. Map out your trip like it’s your very own episode of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, and go nuts.

KNOW HOW TO CHANGE A TIRE (AND HAVE THE TOOLS TO DO IT)

There’s not much more to say here. Just do it.

FIND A GOOD COPILOT

No trip is complete without the perfect copilot. This is the person who’s best at reading maps, locating killer hot spots, and picking the best songs. Playlists are going to set the mood and keep morale high on those long drives, so embrace the shuffle on Spotify and be prepared to get weird.

How to Tell a True-ish War Story in 2019

War is hell, but that’s not the half of it, because war is also mystery and terror and adventure and courage and discovery and holiness and pity and despair and longing and love. War is nasty; war is fun. War is thrilling; war is drudgery. War makes you a man; war makes you dead.”

The great Tim O’Brien wrote that in The Things They Carried, his groundbreaking short-story collection about the Vietnam War. It’s been a couple years since I last revisited that book, but I was brought back to those lines recently when I traveled to rural Oklahoma for the wedding of one of my former soldiers, Smitty.

It’s been ten years since we served together in a scout platoon in Iraq, a number that defies memory, but there it is. Some days it feels like yesterday that we were walking the sand alleys of the sectarian villages north of Baghdad. Other days, it feels like a few years back—but a decade?! Naw, a decade ago would mean we’re old now. And that can’t fucking be.

A third soldier from our scout platoon, Chris, also attended the wedding. He’s been on two more combat tours since ours, and is still in the Army. Over some post-ceremony beers, he discussed the mind’s slipperiness of time, and why he still serves. “It’s always there, you know? Every day, every minute matters over there. It’s not the same in the States.”

Wise words from a career military man.

Hell. Mystery. Terror. Holiness. Death. All of that and so much more. As any military veteran can tell you, reunions like we had at Smitty’s wedding can be balm for the soul. I’ve spent a lot of my life since Iraq writing and reasoning and reckoning with what we saw and did. Many vets—most, really—don’t get that.

I’ve been blessed to tell our stories. Some vets don’t want to look back at that part of their lives, choosing instead to pack it all in and go forward that way. To each their own, of course. But even for an oversharer like me, there was something really freeing about trading old war tales with the men who were there beside me back when.

Our first firefight. The night with the IED emplacers on Route Lincoln. The time we rolled up on a post-car-bomb scene and found wild dogs licking up the scraps of a dead sheik. The wild, manifold smells of the desert. The tinny, mechanical sounds of the outpost. The scattershot images of the Iraqi soldier bleeding out on the examination table in the medic station, despite everyone doing everything they could, trying their absolute best, before the medevac got there.

Those missions and patrols have lingered with me for a decade now, and aren’t going away anytime soon. Turns out they’ve lingered with Smitty and Chris, too, and that shared understanding and experience (plus a few Bud Lights) loosened something in us all.

It felt like church, to be honest.

We tried not to dominate the after-wedding celebration, but we probably did. I feel bad about that now.

There’s danger in this kind of talk, though, talk soaked in good nature and fuzzy nostalgia. Time’s eased the burden of the moment. We know how the stories end: We live. Most of our friends do, too. As I watched others from the wedding gather around our table, listening in because they cared (a good thing, of course), I realized this was a microcosm of how modern America interacts with war.

War is something that happens over there, to other people, in other places. It’s foreign, both geographically and figuratively. So we three vets—me, Smitty, and Chris—our stories were conduits for everyone else. There’s power in that. There’s responsibility, too. How to talk about our time in Iraq without mystifying it, without romanticizing it?

It’s a fine line to walk. We all did our best, in our ways, I think. Telling it straight and honest and keeping it more light than heavy, given the circumstances.

Was that the right call, though? Tim O’Brien has another passage in The Things They Carried about this very dilemma. (Because of course he did.)

“A true war story is never moral,” he wrote. “It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain men from doing the things men have always done…. There is no rectitude whatsoever…. You can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil.”

I didn’t think of that passage at the wedding, only later. And it’s probably for the best, as there were kids around and their parents probably wouldn’t have appreciated my insistence on cursing while exploring the philosophical nature of men and evil. Still, it’s a complicated thing, and something that military veterans across America wrestle with when their friends and family ask them for a story, for a sense of life overseas, for a piece of over there.

Give what you can but nothing more. That’s where Chris landed, a couple hours and a few beers later, when everyone else had gone home and it was just the two of us, shooting the shit in the restaurant corner. Because he’s still in the Army, he’s more focused on what comes next than what happened.

“It’s all back there,” he said. “Not saying I don’t think about it, because I do, and it’s good to. But you can get stuck back there, if you’re not careful. It happens. I’ve seen it. They get stuck, brother.”

I wrote that down in my phone. It’s a good line, I thought.

I should use it in my next column.

“Hey,” I said, pointing to my phone. “Wanna call some of the guys?”

I meant fellow soldiers like C-Well, and Prime, and wild-ass McClure. We’d been talking about the other guys from our platoon all night—where they’d been, what they’d done that short decade ago. Inspired by Chris, I wanted to hear more about what they’re doing now and where they’re at. We both knew a little bit of their lives from Facebook. But that’s not real life. That’s not their voices. That’s not their now.

“Love it,” Chris said.

So that’s what we did.

Tom Hück: Shaking up the Art World

For more than two decades now, some of the most twisted, hilarious, shocking, satiric, brilliant, and original American art has been produced by a stocky, tattooed guy in St. Louis, Missouri, called Tom Hück. Much of that work—small-batch prints made from large woodcuts—began life in a studio and print shop just north of downtown in a neighborhood of brick-built former factories that got pretty gritty for a while but has bounced back recently, attracting artists, small startups, craft brewers, and the like.

Head to a certain stretch of Washington Street and you’ll see a storefront sharing a two-story building with Bootleggin’ BBQ. Across the broad street, the kind with diagonal parking, is the Brick River Cider company. As for that modest storefront, its window is home to a poster reading, “TOM HÜCK’S EVIL PRINTS: ST. LOUIS.” It’s got red and black lettering, with a logo of a grinning, googly-eyed devil. “FINE ART PRINTMAKING: PRINT OR DIE,” reads another poster. If that doesn’t get your attention, maybe the one carrying the print shop’s slogan—“DISGUSTING THE MASSES SINCE 1995”—does the trick.

Inside, the red and black color scheme continues. Young tattooed assistants dressed in black T-shirts stand at work tables, getting prints made. You can smell ink, paper, and oil. A monstrous piece of machinery—Hück’s custom-made printer—sits at the heart of the space. And startling woodcut prints, some as tall as eight feet, grace the walls. Every square inch of these illustrations is filled with detail, figures crowded into frame. There’s violence, sex, rural people behaving badly. I see weird bugs, demons, skulls. A KKK hood. A bare-breasted woman in bondage. But the vibe’s not exactly grim. There’s dark comedy.

There’s social satire, directed at inequalities and social oppression. Bodies and faces are stylized, features exaggerated, like in the id-powered cartoons of Robert Crumb.

And as in the medieval paintings of Holland’s Pieter Bruegel, or the work of eighteenth-century English satirist William Hogarth—two artists critics cite when discussing Hück’s prints—the imagery seems to capture stories in progress, with subplots and mini-dramas unfolding in the intricate details.

The effect of viewing multiple Hück prints at once is potent—like a boot to the gut. The print shop has a rebellious, underground feel, almost like a punk rock club. I see posters for thunderous bands like the Misfits and Motörhead on the walls. And then I meet Tom Hück himself, a bulldog of a man, 47, dressed in a black shirt and black jeans. With his Van Dyke beard and mustache, bald head, and sleeves of tattoos, he could pass for a Hells Angels biker, or an Iron Maiden roadie. But he’s warm, funny, and talkative.

Hück works primarily in woodcuts, ingeniously updating a painstaking, pre-modern form. He spends months into years on his bigger creations, if you count the composition time along with the carving. He often uses four-by-eight-foot plywood sheets. A world-renowned artist, Hück’s work has exhibited at New York’s Whitney Museum of American Art, the Minneapolis Institute of Art, Harvard University’s Fogg Museum, and other prestigious venues. The Whitney owns a work titled Chili Dogs, Chicks, and Monster Trucks. Other Hück works are Up Dung Creek, The Transformation of Brandy Baghead, and Hillbilly Kama Sutra. Currently he’s spending time in Aberdeen, Scotland, on a two-year residency. While abroad, he’s creating an epic three-panel woodcut called A Monkey Mountain Chronicle: The Great American Turdburger Conspiracy.

The residency’s press release promises a work about “bad health care, conspiracy theories, fast food and fat America, and the coming, resulting apocalypse!”

Tom Hück Shows off Art Courtesy of Tom Hück

Who are your artistic heroes?

Albrecht Dürer, that’s my hero. I found his work when I was 13 on a trip to Europe with my grandparents. I went to the Sistine Chapel and there was a gallery and they had all of Dürer’s apocalypse woodcuts. That’s a powerful thing to see when you’re 13. Those prints are dark and lurid. The horrors of Babylon nights—dragons, demons, devils. Any one of those prints by Dürer could have been a fucking album cover for Iron Maiden. Dürer was born in 1471, I was born in 1971. He was famous in the Middle Ages for his prints.

I mean, you’re talking a long time ago and this guy’s still relevant today. To me, and to most people who make prints, he sets the high bar for the craft and the medium. The way he synthesized his talent and his imagination, plus the fact that he could reach so many people with his graphic work. He was a smart cat. He figured out, Hey, I can make prints of originals to reach lots of people. I can get famous and make money. I can make copies of my stuff, printing with woodcuts and ink. I can have my stuff in multiple places at once, all over Europe.

How’d Evil Prints come about?

It started, what, 24 years ago? I can’t believe I’ve been able to make this thing survive for almost a quarter-century. I was 22, and came up with Evil Prints because, in the art world, for the longest time, printmaking had been associated with huge, famous shops—Tyler Graphics, Graphic Studio, Crown Point Press, Landfall Press. They would publish blue-chip artist prints. They were big, prestigious shops, and here I was, setting out to be a self-publisher.

I was making my own prints—there were only a few of us doing that. Richard Mock was one. Another was Bill Fick. He started this thing called Cockeyed Press. He’d do linoleum cuts, not woodcuts. These crazy monsters with really cool, dark imagery. They had social commentary about gang violence and politics. He’d make posters of these things, not prints, and they’d have slogans. He’d mail them to print shops across the country. People would get this badass poster and they’d be like, “Look at that.” They’d stick it up on a wall. And they’d get to know the work. The posters would say, “Published by Cockeyed Press, New York, New York.” I saw one and figured Cockeyed Press was major, like Graphic Studio or Tyler. Bill became my one of heroes. I even went out to visit him in New York.

So I go to Cockeyed Press and it’s a closet. I thought it was this big shop with assistants, people helping him, his elves. It was just Bill sleeping on a foam cushion underneath his press, in a closet in New York. I was like, Okay, I get it. It showed me the way. You could come up with a name and do it yourself. Evil Prints began in my parents’ basement. I didn’t even have a press. But I had a name. That’s how I started to compete with these big shops. This was 1995, before the internet took off.

I’d put a card out in the mail every three months with one of my images and the line, “Published by Evil Prints, St. Louis, Missouri.” People thought it was this big-time print shop. But it was my folks’ basement. Most people who do printmaking teach at universities. They use the university’s equipment, because this stuff is expensive. I used to teach, but I don’t anymore. I left teaching a decade ago. Over time, I just built up piece after piece of equipment, paying cash for it, and I’ve always had my own independent shop.

When you first meet someone, how do you describe what you do?

I want to be the Ozzy Osbourne of the art world—an American print warlord. It’s difficult, because the general population doesn’t know much about art. When you tell them you’re a printmaker, they don’t know what that is. I end up just saying I do drawings about how fucked-up we are as a society, and make copies of the drawings. People need to see the stuff. They get it after they see a print being made. When they see you carve it, ink it, and then run it through a printmaking press, they get it. A lot of people did some of that stuff in high school, with pieces of linoleum and even rubber-stamp printmaking.

My work mixes the whimsical and the terrifying. I want to ride a line between these two things. It’s a balance between the two—that’s what my heroes did. All the artists and musicians I love, they work this line, this balance. As far as being underground, I always say that printmaking in general is frowned upon by the art world. Hardly anybody knows anything about it, so we got that on our side in terms of punk rock credibility. When somebody doesn’t give a shit about what you’re doing, you can really sneak up on people.

How’d you get your work in museums?

When I started out, I was going around pitching my prints directly to museums—doing cold calls—which was unheard of. I got lucky, and sold to two really big museums right away. Before my work had even been seen by the public, Harvard’s Fogg and the New York Public Library bought from me. The Whitney came later, in 2000. Any bit of money that I can make off my work is a lot of fucking money. I’ve never lost sight of that. Over time, the more things sold, with the work getting known, the bigger it got. The more expensive it got.

When we were out on the road with the Outlaw Printmakers, we were tabling prints in rock clubs. Kids were coming up to my table and saying how much they loved my work, but said I didn’t have anything they could afford. That’s when I started making affordable prints. Stuff under $10 that I can crank out really fast. I print a lot of them. I do $10 prints, I do $25,000 prints, everything in between. Starting this fall, I’ll have a whole new body of affordable prints called Apocalyptic Pets. Adopt one, take one home. For ten bucks, you can get a print.

New York Print Week, every October, is big, and I’m fortunate enough to have a dealer like C.G. Boerner representing my work. It gives you visibility—a platform to be seen by the right people. If I hadn’t sold to museums right away, I don’t know if I’d still be here doing this. The business of art sucks, but I’m lucky being able to do museum-level stuff. I won’t bullshit, it’s something you think about when you’re a kid. Being in a museum. In my case, I make art that I want to look at. But I’m fortunate, because I know at a certain level if my stuff’s going to a museum, it’s going to live on a bit after I’m gone.

Electric Baloneyland Art

How’d you make Electric Baloneyland, from 2017?

Typically a print like that, they’re big triptychs. Three panels. That set took four years to do, and I was working every day on it. I also worked on small stuff. During the day, I go back and forth between projects. I’ve got to have small prints coming out all the time to fucking pay the bills. But larger things, they’re very mental, very physical. They take a long time to plan, a long time to do. I’m not one of these artists that just cranks something out. I think about stuff, and plan things out in my sketchbook a long time in advance. Woodcuts take a long time. In a way, the slowness of the project as I move it along allows me to get ideas for what I’m going to do next.

When people see my stuff, they’re like, What the fuck is going on here? They run away from it in a way, but they’re always drawn back in because they’re entertained. There’s a lot of craziness and repulsiveness you’ve got to deal with. I want people to come back to my work. I want them to be a bit horrified, but intrigued. I’m trying to take dark, lurid, terrible things, and make them beautiful from a craft perspective. That way I can get my point across—what I’m trying to say as an artist, a commentator on society’s ills. Again, it’s a balance. I’ve got a bit of the higher-brow stuff going on, too, which is the way it should be, if you’re making stuff that matters. But I want to get my stuff out to everybody.

Some of the biggest-name artists were printmakers, right?

Yeah, artists everybody knows—Picasso, Rembrandt, Matisse. They all made prints. Part of it was economic. It’s extra money. Prints aren’t as expensive as paintings, so it’s a common thing for artists of every caliber and level to engage in making them. Picasso was one of the most badass printmakers who ever lived. Rembrandt might be number two, along with Dürer. Goya’s a famous painter who’s also known for his prints. The German expressionists—Egon Schiele, Oskar Kokoschka—they all made prints.

They wanted to reach a lot of people with very emotional, content-filled imagery. Quick Picasso story. When I was in kindergarten, we watched film strips. Actual film, on a reel. There was one with Picasso painting a bull on a piece of glass, but he was looking at us, the viewers, through the glass. He didn’t even look at what he was drawing. He was smiling, painting the bull. I was like, That guy is a badass! I want to be like that guy.

Can you tell us what Woodcut Bootcamp is? It sounds wild.

It started in 2006 as a way of making money in the summer, which is usually a terrible time for sales. Basically, it’s a ten-day intensive workshop where people come to study with me and I teach them how I make big woodcuts. They make one large woodcut print themselves. Usually about 15 people are all working and sleeping in my shop. It gets pretty smelly. It’s nonstop art-making. They’re all pretty beat by the end, but I guess it’s my way of keeping the woodcut tradition and practice alive by passing it on to other artists. They come from all over the world now!

During the workshop, I teach art-historical background, sketchbook and drawing approaches, and complex carving techniques. We also show them how to print these big damn blocks by hand or on a press. Woodcut Bootcamp now sells out every year and it’s become a sort of tradition out there in the world of printmaking. Those that survive it get a Dürer tattoo at the end. Almost like joining a cult!

Tom Hück Working

Can you tell us about any new projects?

I’ve got the follow-up to Electric Baloneyland, A Monkey Mountain Chronicle. It’s about gluttony. Not necessarily or specifically American. I mean gluttony in terms of overindulgence in religion, food, politics. Overindulgence in sex, which I’m all for. It’s about over-the-top conspiracy thinking, overindulgence in bullshit. Nice, uplifting stuff.

It’s going to be a triptych on paper that actually folds up like an object. It’s big, and there’s a front, a back, and side panels. You’ll walk around it in a room. It’ll be displayed like an artifact. I’m working with Peacock Visual Arts in Aberdeen, Scotland, on it.

I’m also working on a smaller print set called The Four Seasons, which is all about global warming. I just finished Summer. It’s giant mosquitoes attacking fat people on a beach. Winter is a giant snow-cone tornado with lightning. Spring is going to be a plant basically strangling people with allergies. The fourth one, Fall, is going to be a Halloween/witch thing. I’m also doing an NRA beauty-pageant piece for Landfall Press. And The Tommy Peeperz is a triptych about the first time I saw breasts in real life.

It was June 15, 1983. About 1:30 in the afternoon at the local pool. Stephanie, the gorgeous lifeguard, dives in to cool off and the moment she hits the water her top comes down for a split second. I almost drowned. She was a senior in high school, I was in fourth grade. I was underwater, in the shallow end, with a snorkel and goggles on. I had a clear view of what happened. It was like something that was only there for me to see. It was fantastic enough that I’m still obsessed with it decades later.

Tom Hück Carving

All images courtesy of Tom Hück.

We’re Crushing on Kacey Musgraves

COUNTRY music artist Kacey Musgraves was just nine when she wrote her first song, “Notice Me,” for her elementary school graduation in the rural community of Golden, Texas.

It took a while, but notice her they did, and now the 30-year-old Musgraves is positioned to become one of the biggest voices in music, competing with the likes of Taylor Swift and Carly Rae Jepsen, but with a sweet country twang. Musgraves’s latest album, Golden Hour, pulled in four Grammys in February, including Album of the Year, and has sent her on a whirlwind concert schedule she’s dubbed the “Oh, What a World Tour.”

Like country legends Dolly Parton and Tammy Wynette, Musgraves keeps it simple onstage, with her acoustic guitar, fringed minidresses, and big, inimitable voice, which is why we love her. In interviews, she comes across as poised and polite, sometimes as starstruck by fans as they are by her. She’s the quintessential Texas girl-next-door who’d rather be out riding horses than checking emails from her manager. But hey, she’s got a lot of business to handle these days.

To see Kacey’s current tour dates, go to kaceymusgraves.com.