In a season of wishes, consider your own from a couple of different perspectives before locking yourself into a single position.

Pet of the Year 2021 — Kenzie Anne

You want to take a guess as to the first thing anyone getting new employment with Penthouse wants to do? We can give you a hint (or not) by telling you that it happens to be the worst job in the company. … Scratch that. It’s actually the second worst job in the company, but we’ll get to that.

We will tell that before their new company computer has booted up for the first time, everybody has the same question as a new employee: “How do we pick the Pets?”

Depending upon the moxie of the individual, the second question either follows quickly, or as soon as reasonably possible in a more discrete fashion in the break room. “How do I get on the Team that picks the Pets?”

Yep. Everybody wants to pick the Pets. … Sounds like a great job. … It is not. It is a horrible, horrible job.

You have to think about it from a broader (pun not intended, but still funny, if you’re old) perspective. It will come as no surprise that many, many women around the world would love to be Pets. Because you have to be a Pet before you can become Pet of the Year 2021, for example. But even the most rudimentary of educations would lead you to quickly realize that there can at most be 12 Pets in any calendar year. Obviously this means that while making one woman very happy, you will necessarily be disappointing an abundantly larger group of women — every month. Month after month. For an entire year. Eventually, though, we do end up with a truly emotional and grateful individual, such as Kenzie Anne here.

To get to the level of Pet of the Year 2021 Kenzie Anne, however, you have to crush dreams on a much more personal level. There were only 11 other women even in the running for that title, and each of them really wants to win (regardless of what they might say afterwards). Look at this honestly: It takes an enormous amount of self-confidence simply to pose naked for a camera, and confident people like to win. Always. At everything.

How great would you feel about yourself if every time you showed up for work, the first thing you had to do was take your clothes off? … Most of us derive our confidence from very different sources.

To most of us, that whole nude-for-a-living thing sounds truly icky.

A specific time I felt most sexy was probably on set today when I was handed my new key.

Kenzie Anne, Penthouse Pet of the Year 2021

When you boil it all down, there are basically two ways one can approach picking the winners for Penthouse Pet. You can simply own the company and thus get to do whatever you want from thousands of miles away. That would be one option. Or you can, as owner, delegate a Team Leader for the project who will then enlist the assistance of a group of people in theory knowledgable regarding current goals for Brand Identity (capitalized, don’t you know) and have some awareness when it comes to the history of the past winners. That second option has been the approach here for the last few years, actually, but when you use that system you end up with people who have actually talked to and gotten to know more than a few of the various contestants. … But you still only get to pick one winner each month.

So now you find yourself answering phone calls from a bunch of sad women who “thought they were your friend” when they learn someone else got picked. … It’s not exactly working nude all the time, but it still ain’t very comfortable.

This therefore leads us to the actual worst job at Penthouse. If picking Pets qualifies as a horrible job, picking Pet of the Year falls underneath the joys of root canal and waiting in line at the DMV in Los Angeles. You can never even be sure that you made the right choice until you finish the entire process, and by then of course it’s too late. You get what you got.

Last year, when I submitted my images for Pet of the Month, I didn’t feel like — in comparison to everybody else… — that I was gonna be somebody who stood out.

More Kenzie Anne

Well, our photographers took the Pet of the Year 2021 sets selectively represented here (following our “must be clothed” rules on … To us it looks like Kenzie stands out, and we can say that she also checks a lot of the other boxes they look for in a Pet of the Year as well. Everybody has different tastes, or the world would be a truly boring place — and the population would have died out centuries ago — and while “how she looks” obviously plays a part in the ultimate decision, it only plays a part.

ALL of the women chosen as Pets over the past year would presumably pass the “attractive” threshold easily. Those other less sexy things really come into play, though. (We would advise against social media rants about pretty much anything, but definitely other performers, for example.) Should Pet be a goal of yours, bear in mind (pun on “bare” definitely intended) that the world has changed. Women that make it into the magazine do not necessarily need to know one of the photographers personally, or be best buddies with an editor, or even a former Pet. Some of you spend a lot of time on “Your Brand” (more capital letters). You might think about how our Brands might work together.

Hopefully you have learned two things today in our Pet of the Year 2021 reveal (well, on the free Penthouse site).

  1. Of course all the women want to win, because nobody shares that kind of intimacy on camera without wanting people to notice, and
  2. You actually never, ever want the job of picking the Pets.

You might also have learned that Kenzie will make a very fine Brand Ambassador … y’know if travel becomes easier and all the idiots stop fighting with all the other idiots. …

We close wishing you a Happy/Merry Whatever seems appropriate for a religious or secular celebration in your private, personal, protected by the Constitution, life — regardless of your gender identification. … (You think we avoided offending anybody? … Probably not. That seems impossible these days.) … As regards the dreamers out there specifically, this new site launch has included a special page where you can begin your journey completely on your own.

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