While data streams in for the devoted, we wanted to remind everyone that time still exists for them to get behind their favorite Pets of last year — as it were.

Penthouse POY Vote 2023

In the interests of the latest political catch-phrase — that being “transparency” as of today — we should probably make clear that we wanted to remind should more technically have been the Executives wanted us to remind in that first sentence. In fairness, we tend to think people that visit here remain aware of the ongoing Vote 2023 process, but Executives fall into two categories (at least in our offices). They tend to be old-school and believe constant reminders necessary in any ongoing business venture, or they fall into the Millennial camp and believe everyone completely ignores anything in a sidebar that looks like at advertisement, never even bothering to read what it says, and certainly not clicking on it.

Of course either of those could be true. Who knows? … We DO know, however, that a completely different Executive put the video editors to work making us a handy-dandy “promo clip” we could use, so we will.

Of course women earn Pet status by more than just their looks (however difficult that may be to believe). Particularly in a social world, personality counts for a lot, and over the years/decades we have found that answers to a “standard” questionnaire can be helpful and enlightening. They can also be wildly entertaining, so we did a quick dive on their Pet Pages and highlighted an individual option for each of our contestants. In chronological order, then, we provide our list of tickled funny bones.

MSPUIYI — January 2022
When are you happiest? … Right now.
Tahlia Paris — February 2022
What’s your favorite way to work out? … I love hot yoga. I also love working out with a trainer — because I like being told what to do.
Stormi Maya — March 2022
Do you collect anything? … The hearts of men and guitars.
Lauren Ann — April 2022
If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? … It’s 85 degrees. I’m sitting on a nude beach with a good book in one hand and a Corona with lime in the other.
Trippie Bri — May 2022
Who knows you the best? … Me!
Alex Kay — June 2022
Do you have a secret skill? … I’m very quick at math. I’m actually a big nerd. I love math and science.
Destiny Rose — July 2022
What is your favorite thing about your hometown? … My grandmother’s food. I do miss Polish food. If you haven’t yet, you should try pierogies. That’s why all men love Polish girls. We know how to make pierogis.
Ashleigh Skies — August 2022
How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? … Depends. It could be 25 minutes — or up to an hour if I masturbate.
Kaylee Killion — September 2022
What are your pet peeves? … Walking in the house with your shoes on.
Linsey Donovan — October 2022
What do you sleep in? … Sometimes I wear socks.
Veronica Perasso — November 2022
Do you play any sports? … Does Mario Golf count? LOL
Amber Rose — December 2022
Where’s the most exciting place you’ve ever had sex? … On the hood of my car outside Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego during a double overtime football game.

Entertainment counts for a lot around here, and based on the voting so far, many of you agree. Honestly one of the most fascinating times of year for us comes when the votes start rolling in and we can see how well the Executive Team has selected Pets over the year. It may sound counter-intuitive, but a “perfect” result for us would come when all twelve of the contestants end up in essentially a statistical tie. You see, that means that through some wild stroke of fate we ended up with a dozen very different women who appeal equally across the public at large. That could have been the plan, of course, but one must be careful of giving Executive Teams too much credit lest they begin to think we mere worker bees have become less important.

By the way, this year there will even be something new added to the mix. As the Team laid out the plan and the timeline, we noticed that there will be a good old-fashioned Pet of the Year Playoff this time around, culling the field to 4, or maybe 6, or maybe some other number, for the final push. It all depends on where the natural “splits” occur in the voting. Wherever that split happens, your vote has more to do with which stars here make the cut and which do not than even you may realize. Of course, that’s why we’re telling you, so that you might realize it.

We suggest you take advantage of that power. One seldom has it in life anymore it seems.

Lacy Lennon, POY 2020 | Kenzie Anne, POY 2021 | Amber Marie, POY 2022

Just to make it easy for you, we have provided yet another handy-dandy series of links in case you want to get a closer look at any of these fine individuals before making your selection. In PURELY chronological order, then, we have … MSPUIYI, Tahlia, Stormi, Lauren, Trippie, Alex, Destiny, Ashleigh, Kaylee, Linsey, Veronica, and Amber. They each have Pet Videos (the SFW version) on those pages, so it might take a little time to get through them all, fair warning. It will be a really FUN time, however. Feel free to take notes.

For the record, we asked the bosses about that “link to voting” banner when we saw it too. As you may know, that shows Lacy Lennon (POY 2020), Kenzie Anne (POY 2021), and Amber Marie (POY 2022) in that order. Allegedly there was no overriding, multi-year strategy for it to end up redhead, blonde, brunette like it did, but one never knows about Penthouse Executives and their Master Plans. They be some sneaky folks.

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