So you think you know how to be naked just because you were born that way, right? Wrong!
Being Naked: Taking It Off to Turn Her On
Being naked might seem the most natural thing in the world; actually, it’s an art that should be cultivated and refined. We asked a group of sexually savvy women to tell you how to look hot while undressing, during foreplay, in bed, and anywhere else the clothes might come off. The best part? You don’t need a washboard stomach or a ten-inch cock to be one sexy, naked-ass man.
So you’re a guy guy. You don’t use tweezers or lotions. You think a loofah is something you order at a Mediterranean restaurant. You have one all-purpose soap that you use for your face, body, and dishes. Paying attention to how your body looks naked is not going to qualify you to become the sixth member of the Queer Eye team. When most people think of the naked male body, a sculpted and hairless Adonis comes to mind. But most guys can’t relate to this type of hero worship of the male form.
“If they are super-fuzzy down there, then a little trimming is nice, but none of this shaving-the-whole-body thing,” instructs Morgan, 24.
“The sexiest thing is that happy trail just above the pubic line. Whoa, that gets me,” says Dylan, 34.
“I had an experience recently with a man who was in serious need of a trim. It was like a fucking head of hair down there,” reports Eugenie, 32.
Use the “hide and seek” test to find out if you need to pull out the gardening shears — remember, if she can’t find it, she can’t do anything to it. Get rid of any back hair or unibrow, but wax, don’t shave. Although waxing is more painful (it pulls hair out at the root), it’s the best route to go to ensure you don’t transform into Teen Wolf on your evening out.
“My turnoff would have to be ‘bacne,’” Dylan confides, referring to acne on a man’s back. “They have treatments for that called ‘bacials.’ Word to the wise.”
The same measures should be taken in relation to any skin disorders. Whether it be dry skin or something you picked up from “experimenting” in college, there are two words you never want to hear when a woman touches your naked body for the first time: “What’s that?”
In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to end up with your pants pulled halfway over your sneakers, underwear around your ankles, and your J. Crew turtleneck stuck on your head like a makeshift burka. To avoid this very not-hot scenario, every guy needs a game plan for getting undressed. No, you don’t need to hire Carmen Electra to choreograph a striptease routine for you, but you do need a plan of action.
“The perfect way my guy would get undressed is, as the evening goes on, he takes off socks and any extraneous items like his watch ahead of time so they don’t take too much thought and time later,” says Morgan. “Then, if we start making out and I indicate that I want to go further, the pants should come off quick and easy. Striptease and I’ll laugh; whip them off too fast, and I’ll think he’s too desperate. If I’m flirtatious enough and making out seriously, then the shirt and maybe underwear. But it all depends on how hot and heavy it gets. Truthfully, I’d rather be naked first and let him treat me like a queen for a while, and then he can get naked when I’m interested in sex.”
“Ideally, the moment is so intense that I try to rip his clothes off before he can take them off himself, so it becomes kind of an assist,” says Eugenie. “I like it when I’m kissing him and we’re both breathing hard and there’s sort of a struggle involved, and then the pulling off of the shirt becomes laborious so that you can hardly wait for it to be over his head before you’re kissing again. If it’s more of a ‘let’s go to bed’ evening, I think he should just quickly strip down to his T-shirt and underwear, removing socks, of course, and hop into bed. This isn’t Chippendale’s.”
All our women agreed that taking off shoes and socks is a must for men. While girls’ naked bodies are enhanced by attractive footwear, the same does not hold true for you guys. Give yourself an edge by creating an atmosphere conducive to nudity. Draw the shades and use soft, warm lighting, which does wonders for any body type. Leave any strobe lights, lava lamps, and neon beer signs off. Forgo the use of fluorescent lighting, which exposes every wrinkle, zit, and tattoo with another woman’s name on it.
“Use flattering light, like candles, and take it all off,” says Morgan. “If a girl chooses you, she isn’t going to be totally surprised at what you look like with your clothes off. We can kinda tell what’s to be expected.”
“While making out, I like to take off his clothes slowly and for him to take off mine. But I leave the underwear for last, for under the covers. And of course the lights would be dimmed,” advises Heidi, 22.
Dylan advocates a foolproof approach when it comes to undressing: “Let me do it!”
Believe it or not, she’s checking out your naked body just as much as you’re checking out hers. Each position you choose provides her with a unique view of you.
Heidi says, “I love it when it’s me on my back, him semi-upright on top of me. That way I can see everything from his face down to his penis.”
“When I’m on top,” says Eugenie, “I like to look at his face and his chest, but during sex, I’m usually more about the physical experience rather than the visuals. Afterward, it is nice to look at his chest, ears, ass, even his flaccid penis, which is sometimes amusing and always the softest, most wonderful skin to touch.”
“I like to approach a man like I approach a project,” Carla, 36, explains. “I need to have the whole thing laid out in front of me so I can decide what to start with and how to organize my work. I like for men to lie on their backs in a very relaxed position that reveals both their muscular structure and their vulnerability. I like to look at arms, chests, abdominals, and thighs. This position gives me a clear view of these parts as well as total access.”
Even in the deepest moments of passion, your nudity plays a major role in how turned on she’ll be.
“Sometimes I look at his penis at the entry point, if I can,” says Eugenie. “Sometimes I’m fantasizing about something else entirely, and my eyes are closed. Best-case scenario, I’m looking upside down at my confused cat or at a really up-close, scrunched-up pillow, because my face is pushed down in it and he’s inside me from behind.”
Says Carla, “I’m looking at a mental picture of what he looks like fucking me, as if I was looking at the whole scene from the outside. It helps, of course, if he can provide some description that can help create the picture. Being naked is as much a state of mind as it is a physical reality. The more sexy the guy feels, the more attractive he is, regardless of what he looks like.”
Most men don’t have perfect bodies. Perhaps you’re the kind of guy who leaves his clothes on and the lights off, totally missing out on the whole “being naked” experience to begin with. By playing into your insecurities, you’re not only depriving your woman of a hot, naked experience, you’re cheating yourself out of sex filled with sensuality that’s on a whole other level than just “sticking it in.”
Eugenie elaborates: “I’ve been with a few men who aren’t buff studs. Let’s face it, I’m imperfect, so I can’t expect them to always have six-packs and asses you can bounce coins off of. Of course, the more physically fit they are, the more likely they are to be better at actual intercourse. So, for the ones who have a few extra pounds, they’d better develop their cunni technique, or at least be fantastic kissers.”
“I also like peculiarities like birthmarks, scratches, scars, everything that gives a body its own history,” says Carla.
If you want the woman you’re with to get naked, the “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” rule applies. So take pride in that clover-shaped mole, open-heart-surgery scar, or third ball you’re sporting.
For many men, the size of their dick is a major source of anxiety.
“I have found that I do require a certain size,” says Dylan. But don’t despair-this down-to-earth beauty makes sure to mention that 99 percent of men fit her cock criteria. “It bothers me that guys have such a fixation on this and generally think that they’re inadequate.”
“The very shallow part of me still thinks that bigger is better,” says Carla. “In general, I’m happy to deal with what’s there. Because it’s more about function than look. In the end, a great-looking dick that can’t do the job is a great-looking dick that can’t do the job.”
The realm of cocks a woman will enjoy looking at and doing things with is a lot bigger than most guys think. You want to exploit every opportunity to make a great visual impression when getting naked, even if yours is on the petite side. Make sure there’s enough over-the-pants action going on so that by the time she travels south, you’re fully aroused and looking your best. Once you’re hard, hold your dick at its base, making it stand tall and proud. Use long, slow strokes to show off your wares, creating the illusion of length right before her eyes. If you’re still skeptical about stripping down, take heed from Eugenie: “Get over it. Or I’ll get over you.”
Yet sometimes it’s what you don’t show that makes nudity really naughty.
“There’s nothing sexier than not taking one’s clothes off,” says Carla. “I think that the urgency and the [intensity] of the desire that that suggests is a major turn-on. Once, my man and I came home, and the minute we stepped into the apartment, we were at each other. There was no time to get to the bedroom, no time to even get undressed — fucking had to happen right there and then, in the hall, against the wall. So clothing that was in the way was moved aside — his fly unzipped and underwear pulled down to leave the path clear, my pants pulled down to the knees and underwear pushed to the side. The whole thing had a very pornographic feel, and his half-revealed body was even more exciting than complete nakedness, because the only unclothed parts were the ones that were in use.”
“It’s hotter to see a man half naked and leave the rest for the imagination,” Heidi agrees. Indeed, it may be what you don’t show, or what she can’t wait to see later, that keeps a woman coming back for more.
Still, there is something to be said for being young, in shape, and, well, cocky.
“There was this absolutely beautiful boy I was dating for a while,” says Dylan. “He was half white and half Asian. His skin was truly unreal. It was all I could think about and look at while we were having sex. He just glowed.”
“I was with this guy who was about ten years younger than me, and all he did with his free time was work out,” says Eugenie. “He was cut like a friggin’ knife. His ass was perfect, and he had a smooth, strong chest and really tight abs. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it. We had nothing in common and didn’t really talk much, but yeah, that was a fine, fine body.”
If you don’t have age and good looks on your side, a little self-awareness can go a long way toward saving yourself from embarrassment.
Carla reports, “I once saw a not-so-attractive man bend over in front of me to pick up something on the floor. As hard as I tried to be generous, I never quite succeeded in erasing this image from my mind. Here was a very white, pudgy ass up in the air, with a flaccid penis and a pair of balls hanging on the other side. Really not the best angle for a man who was well past his prime.”
A little secret for those of you new to celebrating your nudity, or for those old pros who want to add a little spice to their next encounter: There’s something that you can find just about anywhere that will increase the sexiness of getting naked twofold. What really makes her wet? Water.
“It doesn’t matter from what — rain, a shower, perspiration. There’s just something really hot about skin dripping with water,” Carla gushes. “I’m seeing this guy who simply doesn’t stink. Really. He lives 30 blocks away from me and often jogs down to my apartment. When he gets here, he’s all out of breath and dripping sweat and, oh miracle, no b.o. So, the sexiest thing is to take his clothes off and see his body covered with sweat, even rub against it, without having to deal with the bad smells.”
“One boyfriend had this great stand-up shower with seats where you could place yourself in all different positions. It was the best,” Morgan tells me.
The last thing we want to encourage is a culture of carefree naked hippies cooking vegetable lasagna and reading poetry to their girlfriends in the buff. As with most things, if you’re naked all the time, the sight of your nakedness loses its shock, its excitement, its power.
Instead, simply make it your mission to get to know every inch of your body. Sleep naked. Look at yourself in a mirror from every angle. Stand in front of the mirror and say, “I like my naked body.” (If you have roommates, say this in your mind.) If you’re comfortable being naked alone, chances are you’ll be comfortable naked in front of the promiscuous twins that just started working in your office. Once you’re at the point where it’s normal to be nude, your self-confidence will be the only thing you’re wearing.
“Sometimes I pretend to be asleep when a man gets out of bed naked,” says Heidi. “I just want to see what he looks like naked when he’s not trying to have sex. It’s different. They look and just stand differently. It’s as if his guard is off.”
So, getting naked is also a way to let her see something really special about you — something beyond skin deep.
At the risk of being offended by the author’s apparent misunderstanding of “carefree naked hippies cooking vegetable lasagna and reading poetry to their girlfriends in the buff,” we will point out that in day of you-can-find-instructions-for-anything-on-the-internet, the potential for humor in this whole getting naked for your girl/boy friend seems promising. Of course naturally — so to speak — they have online courses devoted to this very thing which presumably do not strive to be funny. Of course we could not find one that shared how to get your audience, but then we didn’t look around very much either. Have fun!
