Film Flam & NFTs

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Gaming & Film: As the Pandemic Wanes

Gaming 2022: NFTs in Video Games

NFTs, or non-fungible tokens, are the latest trend in the world of art. They can cost as little as 0.1 ETH ($327) for a less-than-popular creation, to much more than 52 ETH ($170,000), the entry point for a highly sought-after Bored Ape NFT.

Beyond their artistic and monetary value, which is undoubtedly dictated by market demand and hype, NFTs are being considered for use in video games by executives at Ubisoft, Electronic Arts and Square Enix.

Video games have long featured a sort of prototype of NFTs in the form of skins and other aesthetics in titles like Fortnite, Call of Duty and Valorant, where players can spend hundreds of dollars dressing up their avatars.

However, unlike NFTs, these digital items hold no value — inherent or otherwise — and they can’t be traded in most titles. Their availability is more or less unlimited.

While many mock NFTs for being little more than limited edition JPEGs, their value exists on the blockchain, where they can be traded back and forth while earning the original artist royalties for his or her production.

Like it or not, it’s the future of art — and it isn’t solely determined by hype. The investment of numerous corporations, including Facebook’s Meta, in the development of the metaverse, and smarter NFTs that are made up of more than just images, could potentially extend their expiration date.

The future of NFTs isn’t in Bored Apes or algorithmically generated profile pictures. Instead, they offer much greater potential in the metaverse, where an NFT could literally be a room environment populated by numerous interactive objects — or even a full-fledged virtual avatar for use in a video game — or even a Pokémon that can gain experience, skills and be fully customizable. An NFT can be anything virtual.

For their implementation in video games, being limited in availability gives them a leg up over the typical microtransaction by offering players a new way to invest their time and money. Instead of buying custom cards in Hearthstone, how much cooler would it be if Activision Blizzard turned the game into a full-fledged trading card game? Players, many of whom are already eager to collect virtual cards that can’t even be traded, would certainly embrace the ability to monetize their accounts and trade their virtual possessions to other players and engage in a digital economy.

Given that NFTs are stored on a blockchain and not a centralized server, each of these items cannot be duplicated or counterfeited. Each item is unique and holds value.

And instead of paying for loot crates or season passes, players could equip and trade their aesthetics on a virtual marketplace with NFTs for their characters in games like Call of Duty and Overwatch — and potentially carry them over to future titles, or display them outside the games themselves on a metaverse client capable of translating their digital possessions.

That said, NFTs are not without their downsides. The technology is ripe for abuse, and as knowledgeable consumers, we cannot trust video game publishers to always do the right thing. Greed trumps all, and the implementation of NFTs could very easily be used to lock away exclusive content and otherwise deprive players, who’ve already paid a lump sum to buy the game, of gated content.

Imagine the pay-to-win games on mobile phones — which are the best example of greedy microtransactions — becoming more mainstream, and video games stop being about having fun and more about being able to empty your wallet faster than your opponents.

There’s also the possibility of scams. Without a unifying currency, or payment standard, many of these NFTs would depend on unreliable tokens pushed by publishers and studios intending to make a quick buck rather than foster a viable economy. An EACoin or a FortniteCoin isn’t going to be worth anything outside the games these publishers develop.

It may be years before the industry comes to terms with NFTs and implements them in ways that aren’t exploitative. As for now, any implementations for the technology are premature at best and are cash grabs at worst.

Collecting and showing off your collections certainly isn’t for everyone. It’s for a specific group of people, but it’s one that NFTs highly appeal to, and one that the game industry would not do well to neglect.

Of course the counterpoint would be: Anything purely digital can be duplicated — perfectly. So, y’know … maybe we can trust Hollywood instead.

Film 2022: The sequel to 2021

A meme made the rounds at the end of 2021, which said: “Nobody claim 2022 as ‘your year.’ We’re all going to walk in real slow. Be good. Be quiet. Be cautious. Don’t touch anything.”

It seems the film industry felt very much on board with that ethos and entered 2022 with extreme stealth and a “don’t rock the boat” mentality.

In the wake of two years of COVID-19, the whole world has ended up being conservative and playing it safe. A sense of fearing the unknown has become the norm–and maybe we’re all looking for a hero, too.

In 2021, Marvel absolutely dominated the box office, taking five of the top six spots with various franchises. Only Fast & Furious 9 (yes, nine!) broke on at No. 5, with No Time to Die, the best James Bond film in years — and possibly ever — coming in at No. 7.

Expect more of the same this year, with Marvel to continue pumping out blockbusters: Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, Thor: Love and Thunder, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Ms. Marvel, Moon Knight, She-Hulk, another Spider-Man outing, and a Guardians of the Galaxy Holiday Special.

Don’t forget DC Comics’ biggest name, either. The Batman will be the latest movie installment of the Dark Knight’s adventures — featuring Robert Pattinson as the Caped Crusader, Colin Farrell as The Penguin, and Paul Dano as The Riddler — and will no doubt make for compelling viewing.

If you’re feeling a sense of déjà vu, then mention of The Matrix, Jurassic Park and Top Gun should get your ’80s and ’90s juices well and truly flowing. The Matrix Resurrections is perhaps the most interesting sequel, with the themes it covers more relevant than ever. In some areas, timing of restrictions may likely mean the unvaccinated can get to the theater to watch it — and may make up a fair portion of the audience. The red pill or the blue pill?

Top Gun: Maverick has been waiting in the wings for a couple of years due to COVID, much as the Bond film did. You can’t help feeling cheesiness is on the way, but hey, we like cheese and we like Top Gun. Jurassic World: Dominion will no doubt ramp up CGI effects to newly found heights, as will Avatar 2.

Remakes of Death on the Nile and West Side Story are also worthy of a mention, although not necessarily a viewing, as is the sequel to Sing (Sing 2) and the prequel to the Kingsman franchise (The King’s Man).

Forget innovation and quirkiness — although you will be able to find some, if you look hard enough — and enjoy high-quality familiarity on the big screen as a comfort to the craziness we’re dealing with in the real world at the moment.

Everybody stay calm, sneak into 2022 and watch a bunch of stuff at the theater that isn’t going to shock you. And (whisper it) all being well, we can go completely crazy in 2023.

Whatever else the Pandemic did, it fundamentally changed the world, and we still have not quite come to grips with what that means or how it will play out. At the risk of being overly political and risking the wrath of Our Local Brand Police, we will say this about the next couple of years with absolute certainty: No matter how crazy 2023 turns out to be, 2024 will rock some foundations one way or another.People may start talking about 2024 on November 9th of 2022. You’ll see.

Film NFT 2024 - In Reverse

Nufseee Erotic Art

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Nufseee — Sexually-Charged Erotic Visuals

Nufseee is a Russian artist who creates sexually charged erotic art and NFTs using digital painting, watercolors, acrylics and oils. Read on to learn more about this fascinating creator.

How did you become an artist?

I have loved drawing since childhood. In kindergarten, I was approached with requests to draw. Then I entered art school and continued to draw until high school. Once there, I had to prepare for exams and think about my future profession.

Around age 14 or 15, I was already working part-time doing portraits. I was the youngest artist in my small town who was taking commissions for portraits. But the very first painting I sold was to my parents’ friends. It was a Venetian landscape painted in oils. I had a lot of free time as a child, so I painted every day and independently studied the most interesting part for me — drawing people.

I had a long break, about three to four years, because I chose another profession by mistake. I was told that artists live in poverty and nothing good awaits them. And I broke down. During my first year at the university, where I was studying to be a chemist-technologist, I realized my mistake and returned to drawing again.

I drew on canvases and painted on clothes. I managed to take part in an exhibition in the city of Krasnodar twice, and in time my paintings sold again. A year later, I gave up again. I thought my work was terrible and I couldn’t do anything myself. I stopped drawing. I tried to find myself in something else, and I dropped out of the university. After another two years, I came back with a new outlook and ideas. I worked a lot with a psychologist, and now I am again confident in what I am doing

What draws you to creating erotic images?

I see in this a certain power of feelings and emotions, natural aesthetics that many people are shy about.

Where does your inspiration come from?

I get my inspiration from people and observations of this world. I am a visual person. Anything that seems beautiful inspires me. But as strange as it sounds, I am often inspired by myself. I just feel this world differently. It’s the same with sex. For some, sex is just sport and lust. For me, it’s something more. It’s a fascinating, beautiful game of emotions and pleasures.

What mediums do you use most often?

I am currently painting in digital. But I like to paint with watercolors, acrylics and oils.

What’s the process for creating your erotic pieces?

Usually I have an idea in my head, and I look for suitable references, which I sketch and rework to fit my idea. Or I see an inspiring photo, which I re-create as I see fit.

Who would you say are your biggest artistic influences?

I try not to be someone’s fan. I take a little bit of inspiration from any artist I encounter. I try to take something useful from everyone.

What’s your experience like as an erotic artist using Instagram?

Not the best. Now I’m trying to do more self-censorship of my posts because Instagram has blocked my most explicit and hottest pictures.

Do you ever struggle with censorship?

I realized it was useless, and I try not to take risks now, because I heard many stories of how Instagram deletes accounts like mine after a while.

What do you personally find erotic or sexy?

The sexiest thing is to be natural. To experience real feelings and emotions.

Tell us something interesting about you or something that we might not expect.

Sometimes I paint myself when I cannot find suitable references. And I have done it very often. I also study porn, looking for beautiful compositions.

Artists in Russia must be having a pretty tough time of it these days, so if you find yourself wishing to connect, you can try Instagram, Twitter, or even OpenSea. Positive vibes help everyone.

Megan Hilton

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Temporary Lodging with Megan Hilton

Height: 5’3″
Hometown: Medellin, Columbia
Measurements: 32C-20-28
Fun Fact: Loves Cats

The ever-so-sultry Megan Hilton enjoys relaxing at home during her free time, but she also has a hunger to explore the world. “Those who travel are enriched, grow personally and are nourished by other cultures and other ways of life,” she says. “All this improves our knowledge and makes us better.”

It’s hard to imagine Megan could be any better than she already is, but we’re eager to see where life takes this intriguing performer.

What is your favorite thing about your hometown?

I love the weather, the people and the food!

If you could do anything for a day, what would it be?

I’d like to be a pilot, so I could travel anywhere in the world. I love seeing new places, and one of my goals is to visit every island in the Caribbean.

If you could live anywhere, where would you choose?

I would live everywhere where there is beach, hot sun and cool nights.

Describe your ideal date.

My perfect date would be on an island in the Maldives with a tall, strong and muscular man. Someone’s who’s smart, thoughtful and romantic.

What’s your favorite type of movie?

I am a hopeless romantic, so any romantic movie.

What is the most daring thing Megan Hilton has ever done?

I try to be a good girl, so I don’t do a lot of daring things. But I definitely have a naughty side.

So we were not entirely clear on the difference between “daring” and “naughty” in a practical sense, but we can tell the difference between a few questions with answers by Megan Hilton and more of those questions and answers. Truly we have a dizzying intellect. (And we also have apologies to S. Morgenstern, Rob Reiner, and Wesley for stealing that line from The Princess Bride.)

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be and why?

Being a world traveler, as I LOVE to travel!

What are your pet peeves?

People who are late or always have excuses for something.

How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

LOL … You mean to get me out of bed? About an hour or two …

What are you most proud of?

Being able to give my parents a roof over their head and having my own condo.

What is the sexiest quality a person can possess?

Being honest, friendly, and helpful.

Oddly, Ms. Megan Hilton has very different accounts at Intstagram (bymh03) and Twitter (MeganHilton398), so naturally we linked them both. You can find out many things there more interesting than “a stunning goddess who gives her all in front of the camera and leaves her fans satisfied.” … Good grief. That’s almost embarrassing. … On the upside, we do remember the “movie” they made called “Medellin” in the excellent television series from HBO named “Entourage” — so that was fun.]

Hey Luenell

Posted on by Team Penthouse

So … Hey Luenell

Long before her breakout role as the “hooker with the heart of gold” in the 2006 comedy Borat, Luenell had established herself as a badass who doesn’t pull punches or take shit from anyone. And when she agreed to pose nude for Penthouse, we knew this funnywoman wasn’t kidding around.

Regardless of age or body type, it takes a uniquely strong person to bare it all in front of a dozen strangers, and Luenell strutted around the photo shoot like a peacock in full bloom. Michelle Obama once said, “History has shown us that courage can be contagious.” We hope that this pictorial serves as an inspiration to all woman to raise their middle finger to any and all who would try to hold them back.

How is it that I have the distinct honor of talking to you in bed, naked, during this historic photo shoot?

You are the luckiest man in Los Angeles, that’s how. You must be living right. I’ve been going through some things in my professional life that are sad to me, the way they cast aside women after a certain age or over a certain weight in Hollywood. If you’re not between 17 and 28 and don’t weigh between 116 and 125 pounds you’re shit. Even though you know better, that can wear on your psyche if you live here. You begin to feel as if you’re not as good, or you’re worthless…. I haven’t felt that way often, but I can tell you if I lived in Georgia I wouldn’t be thinking about having a tummy tuck. I’d just be a fat bitch in Georgia.

“Every woman, in somebody’s eyes, is a supermodel. But the most important person’s eyes… is their own.”

Why do you think that particular body type is what Hollywood continues to push when it’s not relatable to most people?

Designers want to design for certain types of people and the masses that watch TV and movies want to see a certain type of woman. The standard of what a Hollywood type is was set long ago and that is still what it is. You have to look a certain type of way. Although Hollywood stars used to be glamorous, now we have some raggedy-ass stars so that’s changing. Maybe the body issue shit can change, too. Like it or not we live in an obese society, they super-size everything, we eat way too much and we do way too little, but that doesn’t mean you’re worthless, that doesn’t mean that you aren’t sexy, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have hopes and dreams and want to be desired and have dirty, nasty sex and all that stuff. It just means that people have to open their minds more and see the beauty in people and not get sucked into the whirlwind of the bullshit.

Luenell has always been a woman who owns her sexuality and you once said you’re not into “restrictive garments.” You look amazing in every shot. How did you feel getting all dolled up in lingerie for the camera?

I wore all that stuff when I was younger. I wore the corsets, I dressed up for my man, I did all that. But what I found was the real men don’t care anything about that. It’s cool, if you have a video vixen she should look like one, but if you’re in the real world and you’re a real woman, then it’s more than those outfits that is turning a man on about you. Every woman, in somebody’s eyes, is a supermodel. But the most important person’s eyes they need to be a supermodel in is their own. I’m saying wear whatever you’re wearing with confidence, swag. Lift your head up, step high, and be proud of who you are and have fun. You only get one life.

I love that you say, “I don’t have to suck my stomach in, I just let the shit hang.” What message were you trying to send with this shoot?

My goal, first off, was to have more women look at Penthouse than have ever looked at it before by putting something special in that has never been done before. They have never shot an over-50, heavyset black woman. I want to make history in every area of my life. The way I walked around this shoot I never would have thought I’d be so comfortable walking around naked, but I want to tell women to be free. This is me. I’m great and it’s okay that I don’t look like you and we are all amazing and can all hold our heads up and be desired.

Any cold feet as the date of the shoot drew near?

About two days before I got cold feet because I’d never done a shoot like this and I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if someone was going to giggle behind my back because I didn’t know what kind of people I was going to be naked in front of… or the judgment and the backlash that may come to the magazine or myself about how I look (or don’t look), or what I should or should not have done. I had cold feet, but they warmed up very quickly when I looked at the greater good of what is hopefully going to come of this shoot. I just said, “Eff it!” People can go fuck themselves if they feel any type of way about what I’m doing, because I’m a badass.

Social media is a wonderful and awful thing. On one hand, it allows information to be shared quickly while bringing people closer, but it also gives voice to some very ugly, closed-minded people. What has your experience been like as Luenell the celebrity?

I’ve had two social media beefs. It was very unnerving. I spent a whole day blocking people because I want to keep my pages upbeat. I think that my mouth, personality, sexuality, and humor distract people from body-shaming me, but every now and then something gets out that is unflattering, so I’m ready for the backlash. “Why would Penthouse put that old, fat, black woman in this magazine?” Because Penthouse is forward-thinking, Penthouse takes risks, Penthouse is smart, and Penthouse has my back because they know for every person that says something negative there are probably 10,000 people cheering me on and wishing they had the balls to get shot naked. I can say that I have had the same experience that supermodels have… I have been shot by Penthouse! This is historic. I would hate to think that we did all this for nothing. I want to make history with this shoot, at least in my mind. Because in my mind, I will always know that I was taken care of and this wasn’t some janky, pervy shoot. It’s already made history for me. And of all the shots we took, I know we’ll use the best ones… and through the miracle of technology, I’ll look even better.

“People can go fuck themselves if they felt any type of way about what I’m doing.”

That’s always an area of contention on the internet — people over-photoshopping their pictures.

I understand why they do it but I think if you’re photoshopping to present an unrealistic image of yourself — when it’s overexaggerated and ridiculous — that’s when we talk shit. If it’s done to camouflage a few human flaws and accentuate the beauty, then it can be okay. Taking blemishes or a mole off somebody is fine. When they photoshop me they won’t be hiding any poundage, it’s going to be hard to do that, although I begged them to do it.

It’s been a crazy, scary six months for America. A person sits in office who has repeatedly gone on record shaming body types that are different from his preference. He has referred to beautiful women as pigs. Is this photo shoot in any way a fuck-you to him?

Absolutely. The only thing that could have made this photo shoot any better was if I was sitting in the lap of a hot guy in a wheelchair because, you know, he shamed a handicapped person as well — or tried to — which I thought was moronic. Black people have always been put down and taunted, but you really, really hit a new low when you do that openly in the media to a handicapped person. Having a sexy man in a wheelchair would have been the only thing to make this shoot a bigger fuck-you to him. My world doesn’t even deal in the world that Donald Trump lives in. My people and my friends do not even think in any kind of way that his white-privileged, dumb-fuck, cracker-ass believes in. How high do you have to build a wall? Who is going to build that motherfucker? Are you crazy? He wants to use prisoners and release student loans and pay $89 an hour… can you imagine the child who hasn’t had a job for six months and he comes home and tells his mom he got a job building the wall? Get the fuck out of here! But I digress… I don’t think Donald is going to know anything about this Penthouse unless we, the public, make such a fuss about it that it makes worldwide news. Then he will probably invite my fat ass to the White House and then I would tell him, “Fuck-you.”

Would you accept the invitation if only to be able to tell him to fuck off right to his face?

No, I would refuse. He can’t be talked to, and what I have to say to him is not going to change him. I’m not going. I have to live in this community. Are you insane? Hell to the no!

We nearly had our first woman president. It’s 2017. Why do you think so many men are still afraid of strong, powerful women?

I don’t even know that they’re afraid. It’s just that they’re so misogynistic, so chauvinistic, so ego-rot, old-school, and old-world that after letting the black man in — although they had no choice — they could not allow for a double-whammy wham-bam. It was not going to be a black man and then a woman because what’s next? A gay person? A Mexican President of the United States of America? They wanted to shut that down. I mean, you have to have more training to work at Wendy’s than he has to work as the Commander in Chief. He does not realize he’s going to have to make State of the Union addresses. His people backing him up are going to be embarrassed. It’s the big “oops” moment. They didn’t want to let that woman in the White House and now, even the people that voted for him are like, “Oh, damn!”

“If you go on about living your life and don’t obsess over what you can’t change, then you can live a happy life.”

I agree. But I have two small children so I try to find hope wherever I can. Is there anything you can spin positive from this moment in time?

It’s really all in the way you live your life and the people you surround yourself with. I don’t obsess by sitting and watching CNN. I tune out the bombardment of bad news that we get and I surround myself with artistic people. I have a child, I have love in my life. I know the Lord loves me and he shines on me for the blessings and opportunities I’m given every day. I live in a bubble that has nothing to do with Washington. A lot of my friends do that. We have other lives that, no matter who was in the White House, it doesn’t affect us on a daily basis. I think if you go on about living your life and don’t obsess over what you can’t change, then you can live a happy life. You can forget about it. Every now and then you tune in, check it out, you bitch, you moan, you talk to your friends, you rant and rave. Then you have to be able to get back to your real life with your friends and family.

I feel as if you are contributing some much-needed good news with this pictorial.

I hope so. That’s the goal. Being that I do stand-up comedy as well, every day of my life, all I want to do is have fun and make people happy. I’m going to die doing that. They’re going to be like,”That bitch partied ’til the end.” I just want to go to bed at night with a smile on my face.

Will you go to bed tonight with a smile on your face?

This experience was groundbreaking, amazing, hilarious, wonderful, and caring. Everyone on set has been very, very kind. I think I bring the humor to the table that makes everyone feel relaxed, and we all felt like family. We’re all here for a common goal to empower women by making history while making people happy. Some people will be mad, but they’re just jealous. But I think most people who see this will be like, “Go on, girl!”

Now that you have the shared experience with the First Lady of posing nude, do you feel “presidented”? I mean presidential?

She did that when she was 22, young, and stupid. I did this when I was not 22… and old… and stupid. Ha ha! She didn’t get shot for Penthouse, though! Anybody can take naked fucking pictures with their hand on their pussy. So I think I went above the First Lady!

I was hoping that with the uncovering of that pictorial, Melania would use it as a chance to send a sex-positive message and maybe even embrace the ever-growing sex worker industry. I’m not trying to shame her.

Oh, I go there. I have a whole stand-up comedy routine where I shame the shit out of her! In the eight years that Michelle Obama was in the White House we never even saw her in a bathing suit, and I done seen this bitch’s pussy, titties, and her in bed with other women. This is your First Lady. I hope you’re happy. I feel sorry for her. She’s obviously verbally abused. She only signed up to be a kept woman. She didn’t want to be the First Lady of the United States! She just wanted some diamonds in her ear and now she has all the bullshit, boring-ass meetings and dinners with hacks that she’s going to have to attend. She just wanted to be a happy little hooker and get herself an old man with some money. I’m surprised Donald makes the beautiful children that he does with that penis of his. It cannot be bigger than a thimble, and he must have very powerful sperm because I know he ain’t fucking the shit of out of nobody! That’s why Ivana left his ass!

Photos: Gregory Holloway … And with that out of the way, we will tell you that this entire shoot spawned as a sort of spin-off from the Penthouse series “Pop Shots” … something about which you will be hearing much more soon, as we understand it. Also, of course, for more of Luenell or to catch her on tour, go to HeyLuenell.com

Trucker Tribulations

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Road Warriors: Keep on Trucking

Canada’s Freedom Convoy made a bold stand for personal liberties when truckers protesting the country’s COVID-19 vaccination rules — and other pandemic-related measures — briefly blocked a half-dozen border crossings between the U.S. and the Great White North.

Simmering tensions boiled over amid the early 2022 introduction of a mandate requiring all truckers who enter Canada from the U.S. be jabbed — or endure a two-week quarantine.

Industry officials said about 90 percent of Canadian commercial drivers were already inoculated. But a very vocal minority bashed the vax rule for infringing on their freedom — and used their big rigs to make an even bigger point.

In late January, thousands of truckers drove from Canada’s west coast to Ottawa, the national capital. And as news spread, citizens fed up with pandemic restrictions — including some who claimed unjust vax mandates had cost them their jobs — also joined the cause.

At one point, an encampment of nearly 4,000 heavy-duty trucks and pickups overwhelmed the city and blocked border crossings between its province of Ontario and the U.S. One trucker named Ivan, who declined to give his last name, said he’d emigrated from Ukraine with his wife years ago and argued, “We came to Canada to be free — not slaves. We lived under Communism, and in Canada, we’re now fighting for our freedom.”

The movement sparked a political firestorm, but it also rattled large swaths of the economy. By mid-February, Chrystia Freeland — Canada’s minister of finance — estimated blockades had cost the country roughly $500 million daily in lost trade.

The protest was a disruptive but relatively nonviolent endeavor that reverberated around the globe and struck a chord with pandemic-weary populations.

In Israel, dozens of cars ferried protestors outside Jerusalem. They carried banners demanding “liberty,” “no more restrictions” and “cancel the mask mandate.”

Meanwhile, in France horn-blaring drivers closed in on Paris as part of a “Convoie de Liberte.”

“We’ve been going around in circles for three years,” griped Frenchman Jean-Marie Azais. “We saw the Canadians and said to ourselves, ‘It’s awesome, what they’re doing.’ In eight days, boom, something was sparked.”

In the U.S., near the Peace Bridge, which connects the Ontario city of Fort Erie with Buffalo, N.Y., protestors flew American flags and wielded banners reading “my body, my choice” and “do not comply.” 

But after three weeks of unrest in Ottawa, heavily armed riot cops — utilizing stun grenades and pepper spray in their efforts to clear the streets — arrested nearly 200 protestors. The remaining stragglers from the 8,000 strong demonstrators who’d amassed in the city were forced to disperse, and parked trucks were towed away.

Law enforcement also reopened the Ambassador Bridge, which connects the province to Detroit, Mich. That busy border crossing had been occupied for six days. Given one estimate determined it carries about $360 million in cargo daily — including $100 million in components to keep Motor City’s automotive industry in gear — that was one expensive blockade.

Still, tensions remained high from coast to coast, and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police — the country’s federal lawmen — claimed they’d seized a “heavy stash” of weapons, including guns, ammunition, and a machete, from a fringe group of protestors connected to an Alberta-Montana blockade.

Other sources charged an international network of anti-democracy activists and far-right rabble-rousers — both homegrown and from other countries, including the U.S. — were secretly bolstering the Freedom Convoy movement.

Meanwhile, Canadian authorities had also sought to choke off funding for occupiers and protestors by invoking the Emergencies Act and freezing financial accounts of dozens of individuals connected to the blockade effort.

However, that led critics to double down on their belief that Canada was putting the screws to anyone who holds views running counter to the government’s party line.

But Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau stressed the Emergencies Act wouldn’t be used to call in the military or to curb civil liberties and promised the government will “always defend the rights of Canadians to peaceful assembly and … freedom of expression.”

As protests died down up north, like-minded American truckers launched multiple convoys, and thousands of big rigs, RVs and civilian vehicles drove across the country from points west to the Washington, D.C. area. The drivers were cheered on by supporters — both in person and on social media. The contingent demanded President Joe Biden end the national state of emergency put into place due to COVID, and some of the protestors spoke out against what they’ve called the government’s overreach in relation to the pandemic.

As arguments for and against vax mandates — and the past two years of restrictions — rage on, the Freedom Convoy and their counterparts have highlighted one important truth: Truckers are the lifeblood of the economy — both in the U.S. and abroad.

According to the White House, more than 70 percent of goods in America are shipped by truck, and in most communities, trucks are the sole form of delivery.

Businesses of all sizes depend on the trucking industry, which carries more cargo than trains, ships or planes, and collects annual revenues of $650 billion. So it’s no exaggeration to say that hard-working truckers literally keep the world moving, and we all owe them a debt of gratitude.

Think about it this way: Look around whatever room in which you happen to be sitting, and then understand that every single thing you can see spent some of its life before it got to you on a truck. Moreover trucker protests continue in various ways all the time. If the Pandemic taught us anything it should be that it can be all too easy to discount some of the workers around us that truly make our lives possible. Of course if the Pandemic taught us a second thing it should be that going to the office sucks.

Mark Cuban

Posted on by Team Penthouse

“Mark”ed for Success

Innovative investor Mark Cuban is taking aim at the high-cost prescription drug market with his latest business venture. It’s not the first time Cuban has used his billionaire superpowers for good. But the Mark Cuban Cost Plus Drug Company is his most groundbreaking philanthropic endeavor to date as it’s cutting the cost of some of the most common — and most costly — prescriptions to a mere fraction of the typical retail price.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 20 years, you’ve likely heard of Cuban. The billionaire entrepreneur made headlines by buying a majority stake in the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks in 2000, and since 2011, he’s been one of the star investors on ABC’s Shark Tank. Now, with CostPlusDrugs.com, Cuban is angling to disrupt the pharmaceutical industry and revolutionize the way Americans get essential medications.

It’s no exaggeration to say Cuban’s efforts with Cost Plus make him the antithesis of notorious Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli, who was CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals when it obtained the manufacturing license for the antiparasitic drug Daraprim — and jacked up the price by 5,000 percent!

By contrast, Cuban is cutting costs for consumers, while still turning a profit for his business.

Not unsurprisingly, Shkreli helped inspire Cuban’s latest venture. After Turing’s price hike, Dr. Alex Oshmyansky — now the CEO of Cost Plus — emailed Cuban and asked: “Look, if this guy can jack up the prices 750 percent for lifesaving medicines, can we go the opposite direction? Can we cut the pricing? Are there inefficiencies in this industry that really allow us to do it and really make a difference?”

Cuban clearly felt he could make a difference, and within months of connecting with Oshmyansky, the two partnered to bring the idea to life. And while Cuban could have easily gone with a plan that would maximize profits, he went in another direction.

“I could make a fortune from this,” Cuban, 63, told Texas Monthly magazine. “But I won’t. I’ve got enough money. I’d rather fuck up the drug industry in every way possible.”

And fuck it up he will, as Cost Plus has the potential to serve millions.

A September 2021 Gallup poll found 18 million Americans — or 7 percent of the U.S. population — regularly go without needed medications because of costs. Meanwhile, a 2019 study by the U.S. House of Representatives’ Ways and Means Committee found Americans spent more on medication, per capita, than the 11 other countries studied. And not only are Americans paying more, but in some cases, they’re paying as much as four times more than their counterparts in European nations.

Hell, it’s probably cheaper and easier for most Americans to get their hands on illicit street drugs than lifesaving pharmaceuticals. This leaves people in need with limited options to obtain necessary medications at a price they can afford. And too many forgo filling their prescriptions entirely.

America’s one percent, however, have no such problems. Not only are the nation’s rich and fabulous able to procure the medications they need, but they can afford so-called lifestyle treatments, too — such as pills that treat erectile dysfunction or hair loss.

Fortunately, at least one member of the one percent — Cuban — is looking beyond his own needs to start working on a real solution to at least one part of the seemingly never-ending health care crisis in America. As Cuban told Axios in January, “Not everyone sets the goal of being the lowest cost producer and provider. My goal is to make a profit while maximizing impact.”

With Cost Plus, some of the most commonly prescribed medications are available at a fraction of the retail price. To achieve such low prices for customers, Cost Plus marks up medications a mere 15 percent over the production cost, and then charges an additional $3 per order for pharmacy labor and $5 for shipping.

For each drug available through Cost Plus, shoppers see all the associated expenses itemized online. Consider atorvastatin, the generic version of Lipitor, which lowers cholesterol and triglycerides. It’s the No. 1 prescribed drug in the U.S., with 7.5 percent of the population being prescribed the medication in 2019. The average retail price is $55.60 for a 30-day supply of 10mg tablets. At Cost Plus, however, it’s a mere $3.60, and that price includes a $0.30 manufacturing cost, a $0.30 markup, and $3 in pharmacy labor. An additional $5 is charged for shipping on each order — whether it contains one or 100 prescriptions.

Cuban doesn’t plan to stop at just providing the drugs, either. While Cost Plus currently contracts out the manufacture of the medications they provide, the company is in the process of building their own compounding facility in Dallas, Texas, to make drugs themselves. That has the potential to bring significantly more medications to the public at huge markdowns.

For now, however, the company and Cuban are happy to bring the most common medications to Americans — without them having to mortgage their homes or file for bankruptcy.

Still, the billionaire could easily make more in profits by raising drug prices even a few percent above the current asking price on Cost Plus. Even doubling its existing prices would put them well below retail and make them cheaper than available discounts at other pharmacies. Those prices would still appeal to customers and raise eyebrows when compared to other sellers. And, in America at least, no one would bat an eye at a billionaire looking to make even more money off the hoi polloi — no matter how rich they already are. After all, even Shkreli has had his defenders.

But Cuban isn’t your typical businessman. He famously said, “It is so much easier to be nice, to be respectful, to put yourself in your customers’ shoes and try to understand how you might help them before they ask for help, than it is to try to mend a broken customer relationship.” And that’s what he’s doing with Cost Plus. He’s put himself in the shoes of the millions of Americans who lack access to safe, affordable drugs and made it as easy as possible for them to obtain the medications they need — without having to hunt for coupons, beg for samples from doctors or scour the internet for sketchy alternatives.

Cuban has also seen how Americans prefer to shop — online and from the comfort of their homes — and what they’re willing to pay — the cheaper the shipping costs, the better — and designed Cost Plus to meet their needs with all the possible desired convenience.

Anyone who’s followed Cuban’s career, though, should have seen this coming. He’s the man who said, “I’m not a fan of giving to charities. I have a few I support, but the overhead and inefficiencies really bother me. Instead, I pay people’s bills and help solve problems.”

So, Cuban starting a business that aims to solve one of the biggest problems facing Americans was inevitable, and he may just have the cure we’ve been waiting for.

Naturally we felt obligated to include the website link for Mark. That said, we have no comment one way or the other about anything else having to do with the service. … As a general principle, it sure seems like somebody should do something about prescription drug costs. We sure can’t wait on our elected officials to get off their butts and reach even a compromise. We should outlaw lobbying. … Yeah, THAT will happen.

New Heights … In Stuff

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Old Heights Reach New Heights

New Heights for Feet (seriously)

In the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, when ska and skinhead culture were wrestling with the aftermath of punk and the dawn of New Romantics, pretty much anything was game in the U.K. fashion landscape, especially in and around London.

It was around these times when we first started to see men stepping out in shoes with thicker soles. Hey, if the girls can do it, why not the boys, right? Dr. Martens [“Doc” to his friends -Ed.] and T.U.K were early innovators of these styles, which would go on to be popular for those with gothic, New Age traveler, or raving dispositions.

This basically comprised everyone at one time or another in the ‘90s!

As trends do, the design has come around again. The boots and suede shoes that Dr. M and T.U.K created are now back in major stores. Alongside them you can find a whole other world of new and delightful platform shoes as well – obviously providing music to the ears of those looking for a vertical boost!

Converse and SWEAR are even creating chunky sneakers for both men and women, and you can even get your feet on platform thong sandals! The fact that this many brands have started to jump on board with this type of design demonstrates a decided rise in popularity. They make money while we reach new heights.

Of course, one could view such shoes as a statement of intent and confidence instead of just style, boldly showing off who you are with what you wear. Not looking for acceptance, just rocking what you wanna rock. 

We get the point here, and honestly we like the “slides” (as they call them) a lot. It might be interesting to see how that name for a Brand translates on some parts of LA, but the beach will definitely be more fun soon. That said, what happens if you “wanna rock” what happens to be popular. If we get acceptance as a side benefit, can we still enjoy it? … Uniqueness can be very confusing.

New Heights for Track Suits (that will likely never see a track)

Wearing a tracksuit outside of any sporting activity is bold. In fact, many think wearing a tracksuit anywhere outside your four walls pretty much constitutes insanity. Rest assured, friends with that mindset won’t be afraid to confirm this opinion for you in an instant.

Basically, it takes a certain type of person to pull off a matching top and bottoms, but London designer Grace Wales Bonner has come up with a good reason to separate the bold from the ordinary.

Staying in line with her ‘70s-for-the-new-generation vibe, Wales Bonner has created the Power Track suit, a unisex ensemble that’s almost psychedelic in its appearance, thanks to its diamond and check pattern. The jacket features a tight-ribbed collar, hem and cuffs that are just on the right side of retro, with signature crocheted stripes along the sleeves.

This tracksuit appears straight out of London or New York—cities where you can dare to be different. Like a lot of Wales Bonner’s creations, it evokes a contrast. The new heights silhouette takes you back to the ‘70s and ‘80s when the likes of John McEnroe and Björn Borg were playing at Wimbledon, while the best way to describe the patter would be – appropriately – totally groovy.

Made from 100 percent organic cotton, it comes in red and navy variations and will set you back upwards of $900. On the upside, you’ll be sporting a bold, brave ensemble that will garner the complete attention of everyone who sees you wearing it.

Some will love that, others won’t! Either way, label it absolutely awesome.

Full disclosure, the only people we have ever seen wearing track suits out in public are musicians and other creative types down in Hollywood and mob bosses on television. Still, this one does have a certain je ne sais quoi – which would be French for, “I look fabulous.” (That translation may be a little rough, another full disclosure.)

New Heights in Old Material — Literally

STAN rules as the antithesis of fast fashion, championing zero waste with full upcycle and recycling. It comes as no surprise that a pure love for the planet steeps the heritage of this label. Launched by surfer and model Tristan Detwiler, STAN emerged as a Southern California brand based on sustainability, surf culture, and storytelling.

Fun fact: STAN utilizes textiles dating as far back as 140 years ago.

In doing this, these new heights mavericks strive to unveil their narratives of travel, ownership, wear, mending and love. You will find some fabrics tattered and passed down over generations, watching them become one-a-kind items that allow new people to add their unique stories. Each piece bears the mark of the past, while forging ahead into the future.

The company explains their aim is to breathe life into each textile and honor its provenance, while maintaining a sustainable and wasteless business model.

“This season’s collection was inspired by my late grandfather Robert Stanley Detwiler,” says Tristan.

“Grandpa Bob embodied the iconic gentleman, in my eyes. A salesman for Kodak in the ‘50s, he wore a suit every day and always dressed with a sense of understated flair. I picture him with a warm smile, tipping his hat at passersby. He was a simple man with great honesty and integrity, a man of pure kindness and charm.”

STAN’s latest collection incorporates iconic details and silhouettes from the first half of the 20th century and takes inspiration from men who were refined and sophisticated, yet also rugged and adventurous. 

You may have never heard the term “upcycle” before, but you will understand the concept perfectly if you visit the STAN site. Honestly, we rarely heap praise as effusively as you could have heard in the room as we perused some of the outstanding reinventions of fabric use. All of the items in today’s update rise to the level of “we like this” – or it would not have made it into today’s update, obviously – but we adore cleverness. Combine that with great for the planet creativity an outstanding fashion sense, and, well, we’d add an applause track here if we thought we could get away with it.

New Heights in Transpo | The “HX50” by Hill Helicopter

New Heights with the HX50Some of us have certain ways of defining our wealth, a way to show others exactly what we’re about—a couple of flashy cars, a Harley, an apartment with a bay view. We’re all a little different, yet we all like to show off.

But there is one way to outdo everyone. A way to win that little game of who’s earning more than whom. Something that has infinite fun written all over it.

The HX50, as makers reaching these new heights, Hill Helicopters, quite confidently brag, represents the “helicopter you have always wanted.”

First of all, that makes a pretty solid statement about their clientele, as many of us haven’t ever considered owning a helicopter at all! But when you take a look at this bad boy, the thought won’t stay foreign for long!

These days the vast majority of helicopter sales are made to private owners, who don’t ferry people around all day. But most helicopters are still made and designed with the commercial sector in mind. Recognizing this gap in the market and a genuine need for innovation, Hill Helicopters developed the HX50, which comes with a price tag of around $665,000.

Buying this type of helicopter is an experience for the buyer from start to finish. First of all, customers are invited to spend two weeks helping put the aircraft together, to help them understand how it is built, and therefore how to maintain it for longevity going forward.

It’s made with the company’s own GT50 two-spool turboshaft engine, which is completely optimized for high efficiency and low fuel consumption. It can easily maintain 400 horsepower and can bang out bursts as high as 500hp should a situation need it. As you would expect, the cabin—with a full glass instrument panel and panoramic windows and skylights—is pretty stunning and also seats five. Because let’s face it, you’ll have plenty of friends with one of these!

OK. So if you buy a helicopter you can certainly reach the “New Heights” theme of the day; we get that. Presuming you can park it somewhere, you can probably beat the heck out of your commute too. That said, if you can drop nearly ¾ of a million dollars on an admittedly very cool whim, you probably have people driving you anyway. The best part, though, has to be the whole “seats five” thing. That way you can sit in back and show your squeeze-of-the-evening the sights while somebody who actually knows how to fly a helicopter sits up there with all the dials and gauges. You think they can get Netflix on that tablet?

HX50 Helicopter Cockpit

Summer Lovin’

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Turn up the Summer Lovin’ Heat by Taking Your Sex Life Alfresco

Maybe it’s the feeling of the hot sun as it penetrates our bare skin, balmy evenings, the potential of a sun-kissed summer fling, or simply that everyone wears less clothes at this time of year. Whatever the case, there’s just something about the inescapable heat and sunshine that makes us all feel damn horny.

After what feels like an eternity of being locked inside, the concept of thawing out your mojo and taking your indoor activities alfresco sounds very appealing — every year.

However, with the high reward of sex in the sunshine comes an equally high level of risk. So, before you go getting it on in the great outdoors, read our tips for turning up the temperature on your sex life — without landing yourself in hot water.

Location, Location, Location

The secret to having successful, stress-free outdoor sex comes down to scouting the right location. You want to find somewhere that raises your heart rate and gives you the thrill of possibly getting caught — without putting you at risk of actually being discovered.

Choose a somewhat public, but not obvious, outdoor spot. Get creative, and remember the fun can be in the journey as much as the destination! Get raunchy against a tree in the woods, on a high-rise balcony, in an open field, on a cliff, in an alleyway, in the back seat of your ride, on a picnic table, on the deck of a boat, or the hood of your car.

While sex on the beach returns as a fantasy for many, it also generally tends to be very public, thus coming with the very real potential of getting caught. But if you’re hell-bent on a seaside shag, opt for a romp in semi-private, such as behind a secluded sand dune, where you’re less likely to be seen by prying eyes. Also, if you’re going to have sex on the beach, avoid missionary wherever sand is involved and stick to her being on top to avoid a disaster of the gritty kind. Better yet, bring a towel.

Sex in water? You’ll need Summer Lovin’ lube.

You might think that having sex in water would make everything extra slippery, but water can instead be very drying to vaginal lubrication.

While some condoms can function relatively OK in water — if chlorine levels aren’t too high — they can still break or tear without proper lubrication, putting you at risk of STIs.

So if you’re planning a wet and wild underwater summer lovin’ romp, keep a bottle of silicone lube poolside to reduce potential friction and make penetration more comfortable. But make sure you avoid using water-based lubes because they’ll wash away the second you submerge your bits. (Because, y’know, water.)

We recommend starting the party in the water and heading to dry land for the finale.

Come Prepared

Successful outdoor summer lovin’ requires a mixture of spontaneity and careful planning; so if you have your heart set on exposing yourself to the elements, you need to be ready.

Packing a sex bag before you go on an outdoor sex safari will save you in the long run. Make sure to assemble things such as condoms, lube, bottled water, easy access clothes and a sarong in case you need a quick cover-up. We note again it being essential that you toss in a towel, blanket or yoga mat, You need something comfortable to roll around on, while also protecting you and your playmate against prickles, poison ivy, grass burn, gravel, sand and whatever else Mother Nature might throw at you.

Don’t Get Caught

A big part of the excitement of having sex in the great outdoors tends to be the thrill and danger of potentially getting caught — without actually getting busted. You will find that the reality of being collared by a cop or interrupted by a screaming child will be the direct opposite of sexy. Nothing kills the fantasy quicker during an outdoor romp in the sunshine than a stranger slapping some handcuffs on you — unless getting arrested is your kink, in which case, you do you.

Bottom line, as it were, when getting frisky outside, good summer lovin tends to be all about being discreet and keeping hypervigilant. Stay within the law. Don’t trespass. Keep an eye out for surveillance cameras, and refrain from doing anything that might see you end up with a hefty fine or jail time.

Stay frisky without getting too risky!

First off, we threw in that photo set of Sophie Sparks because it says Summer Lovin’ if nothing else. Secondly, and please note we speak from painful experience here, if you really, really have your heart set on sex on the beach, we highly recommend this option. Then go back to the hotel room like civilized people. Glean a bit from the professionals: “Taint” no fun getting sand in places that were never intended to have sand in them. Finally, you need to be ready because Summer Lovin’ can surprise you. Still, you can have a blast even if it happened so fast.

TikTok Goes the Clock

Posted on by Team Penthouse

TikTok Fast Tracks

If the Bible of TikTok and the music industry is ever written, its Genesis chapter will feature singer Lil Nas X, who was only 19 in 2019 when he posted a genre-bending rap-country song to his SoundCloud and social media accounts.

With rumored production costs totaling $30 for the drum track, “Old Town Road” has since become the most successful single of all time. It sat atop the Billboard Hot 100 for nearly five months and went 15 times platinum, in no small part because it was an early TikTok meme, adopted and reused by millions of creators in their own videos.

It’s not that TikTok — a video-sharing app owned by Chinese-based tech company ByteDance — set out to be a music industry king- and queenmaker but that’s what it has become. TikTok has taken an ever-growing role in minting global hits, launching new artists, foregrounding world music and plucking obscure performers from the shadowlands of the internet. Just five or so years into the app’s existence, its hit-making properties are still, in many instances, organic and unpredictable.

Even the parents of many TikTok users — the lion’s share of whom are under 25 — would have been unborn or infants when ’70s rockers Fleetwood Mac recorded “Dreams.” Yet the song reentered the charts in 2020 after the viral — and much copied — TikTok video of laborer Nathan Apodaca (@420doggface208) rolling down a highway on his skateboard, drinking juice and lip-syncing to the 1977 hit.

Most TikTok challenges start with a song and some lip-syncing and/or dancing, with those that go viral becoming trends. Alongside golden oldies, there are plenty of contemporary examples. Doja Cat’s 2020 song “Say So” became a gigantic trend on TikTok and has since racked up nearly 5 million YouTube views. Acts such as Olivia Rodrigo, Megan Thee Stallion and Popp Hunna have also tasted the audience-exploding potential of being featured on the apps hallowed “for you” page.

“TikTok has taken an ever-growing role in minting global hits, launching new artists, foregrounding world music and plucking obscure performers from the shadowlands of the internet.”

For obvious reasons, many eyes are now on the correlation between rhythm and algorithm. A study by MRC Data last year found 67 percent of TikTok users are more likely to listen to songs on streaming services after hearing them in 15 to 60 second snippets on the app — a music marketer’s dream, if only trends could be manipulated. Which, more and more, they can. 

TikTok has its own division for monitoring music trends on the app and “promo levers” to boost the popularity of certain songs to make them more discoverable. Artists, marketers, record labels and influencers have likewise converged, with money changing hands in the hope that top influencers — or more commonly, a diverse spread of cheaper “micro” influencers — will use a song in a way that will help shoot it into the stratosphere.

Dedicated agencies are now on hand to assist artists and labels with music promotions, and TikTok-focused consultants can even be hired to offer advice on creating music that will thrive on the app.

Just remember, when the charts are dominated by tracks that last between 15 and 60 seconds, it started here.

Andi Sue Irwin, Lion to Us

On the upside, almost all of the TikTok afficianados would be too young — or too disinterested — in recalling Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” we venture. Yet some of us cannot help thinking of that tale, every time we hear about the popularity of TikTok. Although unlike the story, in this case we will find something beating under those floorboards. You just wait. … Oh, and if you’re wondering about the picture of Andi Sue Irwin there (Penthouse Pet, September 1993) we can explain that. We set out to search the Penthouse Vault archives looking for a nice woman on horse shot we could use — to tie with the “Old Town Road” and so we could quit thinking about dogface. Searching for these things can be a challenge, not so much for the horse as finding the woman wearing clothes on the horse, you see. Then we ran across this adorabe photo of Andi Sue that Earl Miller shot — proving, obviously, that with us you CAN believe your lion eyes. We went with that, for (perhaps painfully now) obvious reasons.

Masha Diduk

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Social Premiere Masha Diduk — Penthouse March/April 2022

Height: 5’10”
Measurements: 32D-25-26
Hometown: Ukraine
Fun Fact: Modeled for Coach & Loreal

Quick Facts

Her favorite sleepwear: In the summer, just a pair of panties is the way to go.

The most daring things she’s done: I’ve gone skydiving and swimming with sharks. Nothing scares me!

Her travel goals: I’ve yet to visit Australia and Egypt. I also fantasize about moving to Bali.

Her celebrity crushes: James Franco and Jared Leto—MY LAWD those men!

According to the Masha Diduk Copywriters

Meet Sin City stunner Masha Diduk, a social media sensation with more than 400,000 followers on Instagram. The Las Vegas native has been modeling professionally for nearly 15 years, posing for national print campaigns and walking the runway for top designers. Though her work has taken her to countless cities, Masha admits she loves her hometown because it attracts so many “interesting characters.”

Playful but ambitious, the green-eyed beauty confesses, “I know when to have fun, but also when to pull it together and be a boss bad bitch!”

Self-sufficient Masha tells Penthouse, “I don’t want to ask anyone for anything. I want to provide for myself and the people I love. I want to be a rich wife — not a rich man’s wife.”

So that was all fine, and at least 400,000 people from Instagram probably enjoyed it a lot. For the record, a Subscription to Penthouse would have given you slightly more revealing photos, but honestly — shameless plug aside — you will not find the kind of nudity you may associate with Penthouse even there, so don’t go looking for back issues just for that. We like all alluring and powerful women around here, regardless of their comfort level in front of a camera. Go figure. … Now, of course, we can dig a little deeper.

Did/do you play any sports?

My dad really wanted me to play basketball, but I’m uncoordinated.

If you could have any job in the world, what would it be and why?

I would be a Vet. I love animals, and I even have 3 cats and 2 dogs. But 12 years of School ain’t for me.

Have any favorite foods and drinks?

Pretty much all things unhealthy for me, honestly. McDonald’s and pasta are my go-tos.

What do you look for in your partners?

Someone kind, loving, and hard working, who’s totally obsessed with me.

Who is your hero and why?

My parents are my heroes because they came to this country and left everything they knew to give me a better life.

Do you collect anything?

I collect hotel room keys. Before you ask, I’m not sure why, but I have a massive stack.

What’s your hidden talent/skill that people don’t know you have?

I can make a dolphin noise … haha. I know it’s pretty pointless, but it’s funny

As befits a “Social Premiere” you may find Masha Diduk on social media via Twitter, Instagram, or on various other “Who Be” places. Of course we should also shout out to the Photographer and the Stylist, because they matter perhaps more than you know. … Other than that, we just have one final question. We completely believe Masha when she says her most daring adventure in life so far has been to go “skydiving and swimming with sharks.” That said, somebody should have asked her how she got the sharks into the airplane, right? (For the record, Masha put a comma in between those two items in her written answer. Maybe we had passed our comma printing limit this month. Who knows?)

Ear of Jenkins

Posted on by Team Penthouse

The War that Stared Over an Ear

Ears have, of course, played a large part in the history of warfare. The Anzacs at Gallipoli used their ears to tell whether the Turkish guns had stopped firing or not. George Washington, in commanding his forces in the American Revolutionary War, famously had two ears and regularly used them both. Being able to hear is, generally speaking, an asset in battle.

Although ears have been a constant on battlefields for centuries, very few wars have actually been caused by ears. The one notable exception being, of course, the War of Jenkins’ Ear, in which Great Britain and Spain came to blows over the titular appendage.

The whole affair began in the 1730s, during the historical age of European Nations Constantly Fighting Wars Over Basically Nothing. At the time, South and Central America were mostly owned by Spain, which had acquired them by sailing there and saying, “This is ours now.”

Britain was allowed to trade with Spanish America, but by the same token, Spain was allowed to stop British ships and search them for contraband. Such was the fate of the HMS Rebecca, commanded by the plucky Welshman Robert Jenkins, which was sailing home from the West Indies in April 1731 when the Spanish ship La Isabela stopped it on suspicion of smuggling.

Jenkins was deeply offended by the accusation, but he was even more deeply offended when Spanish captain Juan de León Fandiño (a bit of a show-off) had him tied to a mast and cut his ear off with a sword. “Go and tell your king that I will do the same, if he will do the same,” said Fandiño, not realizing it was pretty unlikely the king of England would personally sail to the Caribbean to smuggle contraband. In any case, cutting off the king’s ear would’ve been extremely unwise: That’s the kind of thing that really riles kings up.

Of course, as it happened, cutting off some random Welshman’s ear turned out to be a bit of a faux pas itself. Not immediately, mind you. At the time, losing an ear while trading with the West Indies was seen as simply the cost of doing business, and Jenkins was seen as a bit of a crybaby for complaining about it.

But as the 1730s went on, the situation changed. Great Britain started getting itchy feet. Spain, it decided, was really annoying, what with all its ship-searching and general bossiness. What’s more, Spain had been cozying up to France as a preferred trading partner, and being friendly to France was seen by the British as basically equivalent to getting into bed with Sauron. For its part, Spain was kind of pissed off, too, as Britain had just founded the colony of Georgia. History might suggest that this in itself was an extremely offensive move, but the Spanish complaint was that Georgia was a bit too close to Florida (in the 21st century this is also Florida’s complaint) and might be a threat to Spanish control of the hot swampy bit down at the bottom of North America.

Things were set to explode, when in 1738 the British government realized it had been nine whole years since it had a war with Spain, so no wonder it had been feeling so tense and moody. But you couldn’t just declare war on a major European power. You needed some piffling little bit of nonsense to use as a pretend excuse. And that’s where Jenkins’ ear reared its ugly head.

Someone in the government remembered the heinous act of aural severance from seven years earlier and called up Robert Jenkins to the British Parliament, where he informed those present that yes, indeed, the Spanish had whacked his ear off, and yes, indeed, it had hurt like a bastard. With many a huff and a puff, the assembled members decided that, in light of this outrage, Britain had no choice but to use military might to enforce dominance of trade in the New World, and so it came to be.

The War of Jenkins’ Ear, as it came to be known, lasted from 1739 to 1748. Though the major hostilities had mostly fizzled out by 1742, when it was absorbed for purposes of efficiency into the larger War of Austrian Succession, a huge conflict in which everyone in Europe lost their minds and started caring about who succeeded in Austria. Jenkins’ ear was quickly forgotten and the war relegated to the minor leagues of wars, although 35,000 people managed to get killed in it, which isn’t at all a bad haul — for a war that was started over an ear.

Every so often a topic will come up from the magazine that just seems too bizarre to even draw a tangent from for future edification, and this from a publication that once brought you stories of the chart-topping nun. We thought about putting togther a gallery of all the great ear shots featuring the Penthouse Pets over the years, but the intern who would draw the short straw with that research looked at us like … well, like at least one of us happens to be literally more than twice her age, and he probably needs a nap. So we found some Fun Facts about the ear instead. It turns out that if you live long enough, you really can tie ‘em in a knot or tie ‘em in a bow. Maybe the whippersnapper will recognize THAT song reference. Kids today … are honestly pretty much like kids yesterday it seems like.

Our First Penthouse July

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Penthouse July 4th 2022 with Lauren Ann

Years of grueling experience has taught us that when at all possible, one should start with the beautiful woman.

While Lauen was on set shooting her Pet of the Month layout and video, we had her do a quick take to camera for an upcoming hoiliday, and then some fortunate editor got to play with Lauren for an afternoon. Good work if you can get it.

Of course that hardly qualifies as a “post” out her in erudite world of sophistication and readership, so we thought of a grand idea. You see, executives here have started this “go back and put all the old magazine issues up in digital format so people can view the entire library” project again, so that got us to thinking. Because of the publishing history we have been compiling, we now have the ability to go back to the very first Penthouse July published in the United States so that we might see how the celebrated the birth of the country way back in 1970. It was a great idea.

We can now reveal what we found. … Nothing. Nada. Nichts. … They did not mention the holiday at all in the 1970 issue. As with many great ideas, the reality did not turn out to match the epic nature of theory. So that sucks.

We did sneak a couple photos of Lauren Ann off the server, taken while she was shooting the promo video, so feel free to simply move along after taking a look at those. As it turns out, instead of celebrating the birth of our freedom, they talked about Rollerderby. … Maybe that was freedom?

A Peculiar Form of Violence (from the first Penthouse July)

”Fans want blood. They want to see us broken up and my body carried out” says Ann Cavello. star villainess of the perennial Roller Derby.

This all-American mixture of contact-sport and theater-of-the-rough-and-tumble is the gladiatorial combat of today. Its gratuitous violence now provides release for vast numbers of ordinary citizens. No sooner does a fight erupt than the audience begins roaring and grunting as though each one was himself delivering an elbow full tilt to the ribs or a knee to the groin at 20 miles per hour. Cheers double when there is a body. writhing on the floor or folded over the rail-and if it’s a girl. so much the better.

The secret of the Roller Derby’s recurrent commercial success 1s the vicarious thrill it brings to the sadomasochistic streak in all of us. Even “in” movies like Medium Cool use it to show how we savor the violence of our times. The Derby isn’t a sport. ifs the Roman circus of the day. with Mr M1ddle-Amer1ca playing emperor and villain and hero pre-cast. When there are not enough fights the players stage them to liven up the game. It is accepted that giving the fans what they want 1s most of the Job. and a veteran performer like Ann Cavello can be relied on to come up with a fracas on demand.

Ann Is flamboyant. tough. amusing. yet peculiarly feminine. A halo of shamrock green hair. contrasting purple and white harlequin legs with flowing scarf. stamp her unmistakably as the target for all the S & M fantasies of the crowd. She’s cruising when a blonde from the oppos1t1on pats her fanny in passing and Ann takes off 1n vengeful pursuit. Up ahead Is Margie Laszlo. going slow and flexing her fists. Ann smashes her with an elbow from behind and Margie screams. They are all over each other. wrestling. tearing. swinging punches and kicking. when the referee pulls them apart. But somehow Ann escapes and sends Margie crashing to the floor, finishing her by stomping her kidneys with her skates. With the final kick the ecstasy of the crowd has reached orgasmic proportions. A little later when Margie stuns a young girl from Ann’s team and she takes a beating in defense, the crowd roars approval and doesn’t notice the team-mate’s tears.

Mostly the girls start the fights and it is the brawling ladies of the track who pull the audience, both live and on television. Roller Derby is the only “sport-like activity” where men and women compete on an equal basis (women’s liberationists, take note). It seems likely that one reason the fans are predominantly female is that there are a lot of housewives back home strongly identifying with Margie as she belts the hell out of Ann.

Not surprisingly. good girl skaters are hard to find-the image is not appealing. “If you’ve got a good body, it’s one way of using it”, says Margie, an ex-model and Roller Derby’s beauty queen. “Sure I have a fear of getting hurt”, Joanie Weston admits, who has a fan mail of movie-star size. But a skater is bound to be somewhat schizophrenic: a man who has been skating since he could walk has a more philosophical interpretation: “You learn that there are two sets of rules. Let’s face it, the things you do out on the track, you can’t walk down the street and do. I don’t think you should hurt people all the time, but you can do anything if you’re going for a bundle. There’s no feelings then. Besides. the big thing in this game 1sfear. If you can get somebody afraid of you, you got it made.” Another explains: “We’re shy people who ran across skating and loved 1t. It became like our release.”

The injury toll is high enough but would be far greater without the hardy training and its resultant resilience. Unlike other body-contact sports the only protective equipment the skaters use are elbow and knee pads. Because the action can become so violent, the players adhere to a set of unwritten rules that transcend the rules of the game. For example, technically a girl can, with her elbow, use the zipper-head of a sweatshirt almost like an instrument to tear the softness of another girl’s breast. This technique, far more agonizing than the conventional elbow smash, 1s rarely used. “Oh, we’ve had some vicious skaters”, says Ann. “Some are still around, but they’re few and far between. I could never hurt anyone deliberately.”

To see the girls in action with bared teeth and fists flying, they look like enraged Amazons. Not so off the track. Ordinary and unassuming, they are mostly surprisingly small, with such feminine things as carefully applied make-up and a special hair-do. The histrionics are strictly for the track. Once off it, they are quiet and placid, taking things as they come. Social life is limited. All too often, the evenings are spent soaking out the soreness _in their bodies. Like a circus, life on tour becomes a string of one-night stands and all-night drives.

Mostly the girls, looking like enraged Amazons in action, start the fights. In Roller Derby men and women compete on equal terms, each team having a male and female unit skating in five – minute shifts. Striped helmets denote “jammers” who score by breaking out of pack and passing opponents.

And what makes a girl or boy Join the Derby? A simple answer: the perennial “hanging round the rink and watching on TV’. Hooked, the kids go to a Roller Derby school and, 1f they show potential, they may be picked to skate with the stars. That doesn’t mean instant fortune. A rookie starts at around £4,000 and good performers rarely triple that figure during their career. But it Is a path to the ego-gratification of the tawdry star system. Skaters are on a “profit-sharing” basis, but the profits are not enough. Most have to supplement their income by taking other jobs on the side. Kids who join the Derby come from the streets, not the campus. “Few of us ever had the chance to be good athletes or go to college”, says Larry Smith, one of the stars. Ask them about the future and you will hear about the girl who skated till she was 50.

Today’s Roller Derby has simple rules. Each team has a male and female unit of five skating in alternate five-minute periods. Two members of each unit are called the Jammers and are identified by the striped helmets. When jammers break out of the “pack” and complete a circuit by passing members of the opposing team-they score one point per person passed within 60 seconds. The rest of the unit consists of two blockers, and a white-hatted pivot-man who can sometimes score. Though the referees dispense assorted penalties, the person who starts the biggest punch-up seems to get the points. The rules stipulate the do’s and don’ts in terms of physical violence, but they are only casually observed.

On Sunday, March 22nd, this year, a world record attendance figure of 15,874 bloodthirsty fans trooped into New York’s Madison Square Garden, paying up to seven dollars for seats — this for an event whose death knell was prematurely tolled in 1955. The match was also televised in color for later tape distribution to morning audiences of some 25,000,000. In several areas of the United States, Roller Derby hada larger viewing audience than NBC, CBS and ABC combined. General TV ratings show that interest in Roller Derby is as high as in pro basketball and ice hockey-a phenomenal statistic.

Ignored by the “legitimate” sports world, this bastard offspring of marathon endurance tests climbed to fame and fortune in the early 1950s. then tumbled to disrepute and bankruptcy, and has now soared to renewed and increasing popularity-all in the space of 35 years. In a Chicago sporting hang-out called Ricketts Restaurant in 1935, a promoter of Walkathons and six-day races named Leo Seltzer read about how 93% of all Americans had used roller-skates at some time. He added his past experience in promoting the marathon business and his first Transcontinental Roller Derby in Chicago was a great financial success. At this point the Derby was simply an endurance test. Couples skated round and round the track taking advantage of short breaks by resting on cots in the center of the small rink in full view of the public while the audience rooted for the couple that survived the longest.

Mr Seltzer’s banked track was not yet paved with gold, however. The success of that first Derby was followed by a disastrous national tour when even the most unsophisticated audiences ceased to be interested. Roller Derby did not of course, die bankrupt on the road. To the gallant rescue came the immortal sports writer, Damon Runyon. While watching a contest with Seltzer he discussed the Derby’s troubles. Players had been tangling with one another during the race, resulting in some ferocious fisticuffs. This appealed to Runyon and he suggested that the rules be changed to permit such fracas. And so what would be considered “unsportsmanlike conduct” in most games became the norm for the non-sport Roller Derby.

By the early 1950s, the “game” had expanded so rapidly that a league was formed. Through TV saturation coverage it was brought to every American home, and Derby stars became household names. However, television proved a fickle follower, dropping the Roller Derby almost overnight.

But good commercial propositions don’t die. A second generation Seltzer, who owns and cleverly manipulates all the Roller Derby teams, is now marshaling his forces. He stages their national tour, packaging his product for local audiences as well as for the vast and lucrative TV market. Business acumen and timeliness have enabled him to update his father’s product.

Thus, at a time when kids confound the cops with bombs and go to jail, their parents, within the safety of the arena, can taste their own peculiar form of violence.

Yeah, fireworks are better. The first Penthouse July sort of fizzled on that count.

For the record, you can obviously see more of Lauren Ann here in these very (digital) pages, and if you’re curious about the “digitize everything” project, we encourage you to hit the contact page in order to express your opinion, whether positive or negative. They were all excited about in early 2000, and then something happened to distract everybody. Can’t remember precisely what that might have been, but the corporate world changed substantially, at least around here. If you think putting that Team back together to expedite this task might be an important priority, we encourage you to let the executives know. They actually do read all the comments that come in off that form, if for no other reason than to question us about something that did or did not happen that someone wanted (or did not want) to happen. Executives occasionally have odd ways of “being involved” we have found.

Finally, should you really be interested in the struggles that represented the birth of this country, we heartily recommend “Angel in the Whirlwind: The Triumph of the American Revolution” which will give you a keen insight into what being truly tough really means.

Weird Life

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Weird Life … in History

Romeo & Ghouliet

A woman who claimed to be dating a ghost named Edwardo has hit a dead end in the relationship after claiming her ghost lover has ghosted her.

The eccentric 38-year-old singer-songwriter from England, who performs under the name Brocarde — real name Alayna Salter — said her spooky soul mate gave her the cold shoulder after she was transparent with the media about her relationship with the deceased Victorian soldier, who allegedly died at age 35 after falling down a well during a storm.

“I truly feel like I’m being ghosted by a ghost,” Brocarde mourned.

“Edwardo seems furious with me since I’ve gone public with our romance — he’s gone completely cold. Usually his presence surrounds me with a warmth, but now a cold breeze follows me around the house.

“There’s an unsettling vibe everywhere. It feels like death. Or maybe I’m just dead to him.”

Maybe ghouls just wanna have fun?The lovesick lass said that despite the fact that Edwardo has frozen her out of his afterlife, she is keen to rekindle their relationship.

“I’m going to light a hundred candles and scatter rose petals. I may even cook him some typical Victorian dishes to win back his heart — maybe some sheep’s trotters or a boiled calf’s head, if I can find that in my local supermarket.” That’s the spirit.

For the record, we did not think of the “gouls just wanna have fun” line, but we applaud it heartily. As for dating a ghost, if nothing else, it should make it pretty easy to break up as you’d really just need to invite a live person over and spend the evening saying “neener-neener” every time you found yourself alone. … Weird life. … Speaking of mating rituals…

Giant Sex-Crazed Spiders Invade the U.K.

Weird Life Living with SpidersSpider mating season in the U.K. always arrives as great news for arachnids and nightmare fuel for literally everybody else.

During autumn — the start of spider copulation season in the region — giant sex-crazed spiders, described as being “as big as a hand” and with “biting fangs,” invade homes across the land in search of a shag.

While female spiders are typically homebodies, happy to chill out in their own webs, horny males tend to frequently wander and actively seek out steamy spider sex.

Despite being creepy to look at, house spiders are said to generally only attack if they feel threatened, so experts say it’s best to leave the horny beasts to their amorous pursuits in peace.

Honestly this kind of advice could apply to basically any mating ritual anywhere with any species of living animals or insects. You really do not want to get in the way of either sex pursuing a path lit by a pheromone trail. A person could lose something important to them that way. Say, for example, this next woman considers you an impediment to reaching the object of her ardor… Weird life. …

Woman Turns Heads after Towing Van with Her Hair

Weird Life with HairA woman in London swapped follicles for fuel and pulled her van to the nearest gas station by using her hair as a tow rope.

Using a specially constructed harness that connected her waist-length hair to her nearly 9,000-pound van’s front bumper, Anastasia Sawicka,

a 34-year-old circus performer, turned heads as she hauled her van headfirst down a busy central London street in front of alarmed pedestrians.

However, this type of hair-raising stunt isn’t new for the former Britain’s Got Talent finalist, who makes her living as a “hair-hanging aerialist.” Sawicka, who lives with her professional sword-swallowing husband, Hannibal Hellmurto,

said when she’s on the road, she abides by a strict hair regime that includes conditioning her tresses five times a day.

The painful and highly specialized art of hair-hanging is thought to have originated in China and involves securing the hair to a metal ring before hanging from it and performing other acrobatic feats.

Seriously? This must be a fun couple to have over for dinner. If distraught, she could simply whip you with her hair, and he could whip out one of those swords he carries around. You should ask them what kind of wine they like before the invitation it seems like to us. And speaking of dinner (amidst a Weird Life)…

One Way to Eat Your Words

Weird X-RayCoins, batteries, buttons — humans end up in the hospital every day for swallowing things they shouldn’t. But one man in Egypt took things a step further after he fronted up to a hospital with severe stomach pains and was found to have a mobile phone in his belly.

Doctors at Aswan University Hospital in Upper Egypt were shocked to see X-rays revealed a mobile phone wedged within the man’s stomach.

The man confessed to doctors he had actually swallowed the phone six months earlier but was too embarrassed to tell anyone and hoped he could just pass it naturally. Spoiler: He didn’t.

Although we’re desperate to hear the details, no one knows what turn of events saw the man swallow his own phone, but after having the device surgically removed, he is expected to make a full recovery.

Even more bizarre, last year a 33-year-old guy from Kosovo found himself in a similar situation after managing to swallow an entire old school Nokia phone. No doubt the Nokia battery was still going strong after it was removed.

Oh, c’mon. This one’s easy. Girlfriend wanted to see the boy’s phone. Boy thinks, “I bet I could just swallow this.” … Never fail to factor in the male self-preservation instinct, particularly when he’s trying to maintain access to another person’s parts he rather enjoys. People have been living this weird life a very long time, despite what every single young person ever has thought.

Granny’s Got the Goods

Frost-Ade from a Vintage Weird LifeWe generally think of our grandparents as wholesome, but one woman is seeing her granny in a new light after finding her deluxe cocaine-snorting kit from the ‘70s!

The woman was cleaning out her grandma’s belongings when she found the world’s best family heirloom: a smart leather pouch containing drug paraphernalia.

Her friend took to social media to share a picture of the discovery, which people were quick to point out was a vintage Frost-Ade kit, designed for “truly exquisite snorting,” according to the manufacturer’s advertisements from back in the day.

The kit included a slice of polished stone for racking up, a razor blade for chopping lines, a straw for sniffing, a stash pocket for the illegal powder and a little spoon — all housed in a handy suede pouch.

Grandma certainly knew how to party.

One should always remember that odds would be very good that whatever weird, kinky, totally bizarre sexual things happen to run through your mind, they almost certainly ran through your parents and grandparents at your age too. How do you think they got to be parents and grandparents in the first place? … We will admit that knowing this does not make it less oogey to think about, however. … To distract you, we suggest understanding that people were chewing Coca plants even in 3,000 B.C. We are neither encouraging nor justifying here, mind you, simply stating that people like to have their minds altered as a rule. … Considering recent judicial events, though, rather than reading about the history of cocaine, maybe grab some knowledge on the more important things that “grandma” had to deal with just because she happened to be female. Weird life INDEED. … We should not let this happen again, folks.