Summer Launches in Style

Embracing the Summer Bloom with Live Sex on Camster

There’s so much to love about summertime: warm weather, beach days, pool dipping, BBQ’s, time off from class/work, and wearing a tank top when you’re outside at night. But the one thing that can make these next few months the best would be going to the beach and checking out those gorgeous bikini babes getting their tans. Seeing that hot chick in her sexy swimsuit as she shows off those curves and long legs while the sun makes her skin glow, is why we love the summertime, right?. Continue reading “Summer Launches in Style”

An0maly

An0maly … With A Zero

From a small-time underground career as a rap artist to one of social media’s most vocal supporters of Donald Trump, An0maly — real name Albert J. Faleski — has built a coalition of fans around one of the most prevailing themes of 45’s popularity: That you just can’t trust nobody no more.

Personally, the California-based rapper has a cool and down-to-Earth demeanor and found his conservative leanings only after a detour through the Bernie Bro left. He acknowledges he is a relative newcomer in political circles — only earnestly engaging in online commentary after the 2016 election of Trump.

The idea that the media, the government and the technocrats that inform public policy are incompetent, malicious or outright lying to you is nothing new. But former president Trump is one of the most recent examples in living memory of a politician who managed to galvanize so much support around ailing public trust in civil institutions. And with Trump’s election came a whole new class of political pundits like An0moly, ready to cater to those distrustful of mainstream media narratives.

An0maly’s audience is diverse, and it represents an interesting nexus of online Trump supporters that feels like a Venn diagram of conspiracy theorists, anti-government types, your angry uncle on Facebook and edgy Gen-Z conservatives. Though there is a lot of overlap with the kind of persons one might find at a Trump rally, the online fandom, so to speak, always felt slightly different.

With Trump out of the White House now, this pre-election conversation with one of his staunchest young supporters can hopefully serve as insight into the online Trump-fan phenomena and be an example of an honest and respectful discourse between two people from opposite sides of the political fence.

You went from a Bernie Bro to a Trump Train supporter. Can you tell us about that journey?

In 2016, I was around 26 years old, and I never liked politics. I never liked either party. I thought both parties were corrupt. I thought [Barack] Obama was a puppet, George Bush was a puppet, and Bernie [Sanders] struck me as somebody, and he sold himself as somebody, who was outside the two-party system. I didn’t know much about health care or taxes or anything really important about being an adult, so he kind of conned me into thinking he was really outside the system.

I started following the media more — and I always knew the media was fake — so Sanders kind of led me to realize the media was lying on such a huge scale, even bigger than I thought it was. Then I think it was a natural progression from that to seeing Trump actually say all this real stuff. I stopped listening to what the media said about him and actually listened to full Trump speeches, and I was like, “Wow, this guy, he sounds like somebody I watch on YouTube.” He’s just out there talking shit and saying some real stuff.

Then I also hit the adult age where I started paying for health care and taxes, and I lived in California under Democrats, and they told me it was only the wealthy who get taxed heavily. But I was getting taxed, and I was also paying crazy amounts for health care, and I couldn’t opt out because of the Democratic policies on the individual mandate. So it kind of all hit me at once, I think, right as he was getting inaugurated.

I didn’t tell a lot of people because there’s so much social pressure, but I was like, “I think this guy’s the real deal. I really think he’s the guy who wasn’t supposed to be there.” I was never a full-blown Liberal Democrat or anything. I came more from like an — I don’t want to say conspiracy theory — but maybe more outside opinions to politics. The transition just kind of hit me.

Detractors argue Donald Trump and his administration have sown division among different groups in America, which has led to the situation the country is in right now. What are your thoughts?

I’m going to start with a quote from Malcolm X. I don’t know the exact quote, but he said something along the lines of, “The media is the most powerful entity on the Earth. They can make the hero look like the villain and the villain look like the hero.” I truly believe they have the power to make anybody divisive, depending on how they report them. But I would say Trump’s so blunt, and so straightforward, that a lot of people can’t handle the truth. Some people have a friend who’ll tell you that you look great when you look like shit. Where then, you have the friend who says, “You have some shit on your face. You should probably wipe it off.” You might not want to hear that, but it’s the truth and it’s going to benefit you.

Life is getting so real, especially with the lockdowns and the mask mandates. I mean, people don’t want to acknowledge what’s really going on in this country. In some ways, he’s definitely not the smoothest speaker, and I think there would be a way to lose less people. But I truly believe, even if somebody came along who was smoother than Trump and said all the right things and explained it in a way that made sense, that [the media] would still find a way to make them look divisive. I think it takes somebody with his attitude and his perseverance and maybe his bluntness to beat a political class that’s this corrupt and also make it in Washington. It’s not an easy feat.

Do you see media bias and control as more of a left-wing or right-wing phenomenon?

In this country, the left-wing and the Democrat-associated media control most things. For instance, from Facebook and Instagram, which is owned by Facebook, you have YouTube, you have Google, which owns YouTube. You have Twitter. All these people are left-wing, and any time they try to be somewhat objective, they have a lot of groups like the ADL, the ACLU, and there’s a lot of pressure for them to push in the left-wing direction. Both sides could be the culprit, no question. I see terrible right-wing media all the time. But in this country, the left-wing controls almost all of internet media, I would say, as far as big tech.

When it comes to television, out of the main stations, you have CBS, NBC, MSNBC, ABC, CNN and FOX News. If you watch FOX News — I’m not a fan of them to be honest — you have Liberals on, you have Democrats, you have Conservatives. They do give you a mix. All of the other stations are just 100 percent left-wing. They don’t have any Republicans or Conservatives, so I would say 85 to 90 percent of television media is left-wing. And they control most of the shows people watch, like Saturday Night Live. This is not bipartisan comedy. It’s like they’re reading the script of what the Democratic Party says, whether it’s true or not, and making comedy around it.

Where that’s scary is — if you go far enough right on a political scale — you get to libertarianism, which is smaller government. And when you go further left, you get communism or authoritarianism, which is total government. These people won’t accept a Trump win, and if they get the White House, you have almost total control of all information. So both sides can be dishonest and make mistakes, but no question, the media in this country is largely left-wing, and they work really hard to try to get more so. But where that actually benefits me and other pundits is that people want the truth. And when you have so many people doing one thing and you only have a few people — Tucker Carlson, myself — doing the opposite, you see massive numbers. Tucker is the biggest person on television. I compete with most left-wing people on social media because people are seeking the truth, and they’re running out of places to get it.

Isn’t Tucker Carlson’s popularity and the popularity of FOX News in general, evidence that right-wing media outlets actually have quite a significant amount of power?

That’s a good question. I think it shows it’s popular and that there’s a thirst for it, but as far as say FOX News, it’s increasingly become more and more left-wing. You’ve had more Democrat-leaning pieces. Whereas the left-wing news, they haven’t become more right-wing at all. So I would say, Tucker’s — I don’t want to say he’s on his way out, but I could see him getting kicked out within a year or two.

You talk a bit about a sort of communist conspiracy between politicians like Joe Biden, big corporations and Silicon Valley. But aren’t ideas like communism and socialism in contradiction to institutions like the Democratic Party or big corporations, like Amazon or Silicon Valley venture capitalists?

Yeah, that’s a great, great question. I actually read the Communist Manifesto, because I think most people don’t understand communism. Everybody talks about communism on the right-wing, but most people have never read the book. When I read it, it became very clear to me that it’s not a movement of the people. It’s not a movement of the working class, and in no way, shape or form is it a threat to the elite establishment. It’s pitched that way to workers and left-wingers. They think they’re so edgy, but like you said, there’s a reason Amazon and all of these corporations and all of these powerful Democrats are not really threatened by it, because if you read the Communist Manifesto, you could see certain points [Karl Marx] has, and I’ll tell you a few of them.

He wanted total control of banking with a central bank. And Lenin said something along the lines of, “Once you establish a central bank in a country, that’s 90 percent of the way to communizing a nation.”

The United States has had a central bank since I believe 1918 or 1917. So we’ve been long on our way for that. I don’t think it’s a conspiracy theory, as much as it is a fact that most people don’t learn about. Communism believes in total control of banking, total control of communication, total control of transportation and transport. These are things that are on their way. Do you think that Amazon, if there was total control of communication, are going to hurt? Of course not. They’ll benefit from that because they’ll be one of the corporations involved in that in Silicon Valley.

A lot of people on the left think communism is this edgy way to fight the corporations, but I believe if you read the Communist Manifesto with an open mind and have common sense, you’ll see exactly why it never was a threat to the establishment. In fact, it’s more of a consolidation of the establishment and the abolishment of private property. One of Marx’s cornerstone ideas, in fact, was the abolishment of private property. If you don’t own private property, it’s game over for the people — and that’s what we’re seeing today.

Isn’t the amount of power private corporations have over communication and transport and banking evidence of capitalism in action?

I would say that’s very naïve because if you read how [Communists] want total control of banking and communication, it would be a pipe dream to assume that would trickle down to the working class. I’m sure that’s what Marx conned people into thinking, where it’s like, “Oh yeah, now we’re going to get the power.” But at what point if you give one entity or one person, or one government, or whoever is this Communist leader who implements it, if you give them total control of communication, total control of banking and the abolishment of private property, I don’t see how a bright person could think that that’s going to trickle down and result in working-class success. That’s incredibly naïve.

That’s a critique of communism, but it doesn’t line up with the idea that big businesses, like Silicon Valley corporations, want communism.

Right now, the private entities that are Facebook and whatnot, they kind of play both sides of the coin to get Section 230, which is really protections as if they’re a phone line or something. So they play both sides, where they’re not a publisher, then they are a publisher. Right now, I would say with Facebook, with Google, with Twitter, with Amazon, these companies control a large portion, if not a majority of the United States’ communication network. The idea that this is just going to go away … where’s is it going to go? Why are they supporting these ideas? Things are consolidating in their favor, and if somebody like Joe Biden gets in power, you’re going to have the White House working seamlessly with these corporations.

So what’s your optimal vision for America?

Even this year with all the crazy shutdowns, it could have been much worse. But the reason it wasn’t, I truly believe, is that most people are good people. Most people in this country are great people. That’s why we didn’t have a total breakdown of society, even with all this chaos. Your country is only as good as your people. We just need real law and order of some sort, like true justice, true law and order — for not just the people, but the politicians. We can’t just have lawlessness. We can’t just have a chaotic crime situation [like what] we’re seeing now, where the people who are against right-wingers are all of a sudden libertarian when it comes to murder and looting. These are the few laws that I actually believe in. And I don’t consider myself a libertarian either, by the way. But I think we could do a lot of big things, but we need to stop dividing with the media. We need to stop being petty about words, and political correctness, to me, is just the worst because you can’t have real conversations about race. You can’t have real conversations about immigration. We can’t really have real conversations about anything with all this political correctness and overexaggeration of outrage over everything. We can do well, but people have to get over this hump of acting offended by everything and thinking their pronouns are the most important thing in the world instead of food, shelter, education, health care — these sorts of things.

Because even with Trump as president, we’re running all over the place and we’re not actually coming together to solve these problems. It’s just a chaotic screaming-fest. I see good things happening, but we need a majority of people, I think, to elect Trump and a majority of people to be strong, to step up in their communities. Create an environment and a neighborhood that thrives, and we can go from there. I mean, it’s a complex question, but I think we can do fine, but it’s going to take a lot of strong and smart.

If nothing else, we can be sure An0maly fits the anomaly quotient for most professional performers. Regardless of what one believes, though, if we cannot talk openly and civilly about our beliefs, we will get nowhere. Too much pressure ultimately causes and explosion. In this way physics and politics coincide. For more on An0maly, visit him on Facebook. Do not get this native New Jersey man confused with another artist from Sweden who spells his name without the “zero” though. Turns out numbers can be important too, also in both physics and politics.

Interestingly enough, we ran an article that our Legacy Team has republished from over 40 years ago now. They were worried about big banks even back then. Does anyone else think that God just sits around up there sounding like Homer Simpson all the time? … “DOH!”

Jeep Trick

The New Frontier

Trends may come and go, but quality never goes out of style. Consequently our oh-so-cleverly-named Jeep Trick presentation shows off one in the category of life’s things always worth spending a bit more on when the time comes. Check out the new innovative Jeep Wrangler Rubicon, which has seriously raised the bar for all 4x4s. Continue reading “Jeep Trick”

Penthouse POY History

Penthouse POY (Pet of the Year) as Illustration

What follows will be an actual article from Penthouse Magazine, just as you have come to epect on these free internet pages. That said, as you have likely surmised from the title — what with being a fiendishly clever and all — will be a gallery more on topic with the POY History (Pet of the Year) going on concurrent with the voting for the 2021 winner going on now.

Not that we find anything at all wrong with Astrology as either a daliance or a soft science, but you can find these sorts of articles thousands of places on the web. What you cannot find, however, would be an article about sexual proclivity structured around the Zodiac, illustrated with POY History from as far back as 1978 and as current at 2004. While at first glance it may appear that in our efforts to shamelessly promote the FREE (as in anonymous and without cost) voting we really hope you will do, we have combined two completely disparate topics in a thinly-veiled attempt at showing off Penthouse photographs — even though none of the women pictured today happen to be wearing veils.

You would be wrong, however, as it turns out we did in fact uncover a very strong connection between the signs of the Zodiac and a collection of 16 Pets of the Year (and POY Runner Ups). Come to find out, every single one of these extraordinary women happened to be born in a month on the calendar, so each has a Zodiac sign. Wacky, right? … So now we may continue.

Zodiac Sex

You can try to keep a lid on your real identity, use a VPN and wear a fake mustache, but it’s still possible to build a profile based on your browsing history, cache and propensity for looking at naked ladies. Where this gets interesting is when there’s enough data to link sexual preferences to personality types or, in the case of the latest research, astrological signs. So, let’s have some fun by matching star signs to the kind of sex you’re likely to be into. This is all highly scientific, by the way. Astrology, guys. It’s real.

ARIES
You don’t mess around, do you? Aries are passionate and aggressive. They don’t hold back. No room for romance or foreplay. It’s go time. When an Aries says, “Let’s fuck,” you better be ready to drop those pants and take care of business. I’m dating an Aries because: duh.

TAURUS
Complete opposite to Aries. Taureans like to take their time. They prefer foreplay. Scented candles, coconut oil massages, lingering gazes — all that jazz. Also, they probably like jazz. Whatever works for you, I guess, but see above.

GEMINI
The twins. So guess what? Geminis are into group action or dating multiple partners at once. They like taking risks and require constant stimulation. They can be needy, but if you’re willing to satisfy that need, then you’re laughing all the way to the money shot. Just remember, you’re not the only one in their DMs.

CANCER
Incurable romantics. Dinner at a fancy restaurant, flowers, weekends away, all leading to a heady lovemaking session with flailing ’80s hair and a Michael Bolton power ballad playing in the background.

LEO
Leos are control freaks who secretly want to be in a situation they cannot control. They go weak at the knees when imagining a four-on-one scenario, ideally with four Aries guys or gals. This matchmaking shit is easy, bro.

VIRGO
Not exactly what it says on the tin, Virgoans are the sort of people who like to dress in latex and whip someone’s testicles. Virgos are inveterate doms. You have been warned.

LIBRA
The scales of justice play their part here. Librans like everything aboveboard and legal. No exploitation. However, they’re lawyers, so they like a bit of dirty talk. Tell them what you’re going to do and watch them melt. No objection, your Honor

SCORPIO
Don’t bother faking it with a Scorpio. They like to keep it real. The most likely sign to be up for some home movie action, either watching or participating. Scorpios are why Snapchat was invented.

SAGITTARIUS
Poor old Sags. They like to travel the world and go down on you next to the Trevi Fountain. Lockdown is a total boner-killer for Sagittarius because they enjoy nothing more than risky public sex. Zoom orgies just don’t cut it.

CAPRICORN
Interesting. Caps are shy, reticent and not that into their own personal pleasure, which makes them perfect submissives. Break out the ropes and tie those Christmas cuties up. A good match for Virgos.

AQUARIUS
Aquarians are really into finding out who you are and what makes you tick. They like to be stimulated mentally, so if you’re a smart, lonely dude, hook up with an Aquarius. She will blow your mind and, well, you know the rest.

PISCES
The most creative sign of the Zodiac. Pisceans’ favorite thing in the world is to construct elaborate sexual fantasies. In fact, sometimes they prefer fantasy to the real thing. By the time an actual person sits on their face, it’s all over. Take it from a seasoned Piscean campaigner. This astrology stuff is so on the money.

Penthouse POY History Intermission

Now on to the, if not more interesting elements, at least differently interesting elements. Seeing as how we are currently selecting the 2021 Pet of the Year, it seemed like a bit of visual POY History might be just what the doctor ordered. At the very least, we ordered it, and most of us have been to a doctor at one point or another in our lives, so we considered that close enough.

While the previous gallery consisted of merely 15 photographs, necessarily of a clad nature in this free venue, we would be remiss if we did not remind everyone that the PenthouseGold membership site features every one of these women in substantially more revealing repose. Not only would we be remiss, but we’d get whined at about it too, and we mostly find that unpleasant. The 100+ Pets of the Year and Runner Ups representing the POY History, though, we consider that fine entertainment. Also, do REMEMBER:

POY Voting Areola Borealis

[This Banner used to go to the voting page, but the vote has obviously ended. We hated to just delete it though, because it was darned pretty. Also, there will be votes every year, so you might want to keep checking back.[

Robert Sammelin

drAwn to success: THE Robert sAmmelin Way

Robert Sammelin illustrations are an ode to exploitation horror posters, weapons, video games and shapely women who look like they could survive an apocalypse. The self-taught concept artist, illustrator, graphic designer and comic creator from Sweden has worked for Apple, Nike, The New York Times, Rob Zombie, Esquire, Entertainment Weekly and Dark Horse Comics, and designed the branding art for the popular Battlefield video games.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in Kiruna, a mining town in the absolute north of Sweden, well above the Arctic Circle, where it’s near perpetually dark for the eight months of winter and conversely there’s around-the-clock sunlight during summer. I moved to Stockholm at 20, where I’ve remained for 22 years with my wife and son.

What’s your artistic background?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve enjoyed drawing and making up stories. I’m self-taught, so what I’ve missed out in formal training I’ve gained a shorthand, or rather feeling, for how to depict things and convey what’s in my head.

I still don’t know much about anatomy, color theory or drawing structure, and I rather enjoy that. I let curiosity guide me and make up my own way of doing things.

Before I made art a career at 27, making video game concept art, I must’ve had ten or 12 different jobs; ranging from IT consultant and records store clerk to subway train driver.  In the end, only drawing the odd freelance gig on evenings and weekends had me feeling down, and my wife insisted I quit my job and give illustration a proper go.

I spent two weeks drawing a wide range of things for a portfolio and landed my first video game work within a month, and I’ve remained in the industry since, currently at Embark Studios as a Concept Art Director.

How did you develop your signature style?

I had surgery done to my drawing hand wrist due to a ganglion [cyst] which permanently limited its flexibility, just as I had started my first job doing concept art. Working digitally, as you do in concept art, wasn’t an issue thankfully, but I found that my favorite pastime of drawing in ink with pen on paper was limiting and cumbersome, so I started using a brush instead.

Brushes have flexibility and allow for flowing varied lines that I could easily do without much wristwork and made me adopt a line economy, eliminating a lot of fine detail work. I found that flat and subtly textured coloring I’d see in the Euro comics I grew up with complemented that well.

What inspires your art?

Music and films are major factors for me; I constantly play records when drawing and watch at least a couple of films per week. I have a particular soft spot for old campy exploitation horror and like to make movie posters of films that just exist in my head.

I’ve made a habit over the years to build a mental library of imagery and phrases I find cool, fun, odd or interesting and revisit them when free drawing. I never run out of ideas that way—the randomness of a single phrase in a song or an image onscreen can instantly bring up interesting connections to that library.

What drives Robert Sammelin to create art?

I’m at my most content and happy inking a loose pencil drawing, letting myself get surprised at the outcome. Keeping the door open to those surprises means you have to combine safe things with risks.

At my best, a single drawing or image is both crude and delicate, cheeky and scary, fun and thoughtful—that’s what I keep wanting to achieve. Also, I simply can’t seem to stop drawing.

Tell us about your process. What’s involved?

It depends a lot on the assignment; in my normal job making concept art and branding work for games, it’s an entirely digital process that involves a lot of people and factors, so in a way that’s not my art—it’s a team effort.

Commissioned illustrations and posters, on the other hand, I generally start off with some research and reference gathering followed by a couple of rough digital color sketches I run by the client. When we’re in agreement, I do a loose pencil foundation on paper that I either ink or render in pencil, followed by scanning and digital coloring.

There have been the odd acrylic painting or digitally painted pieces over time, but most of my art is done on paper. For my personal work, it’s always on paper with digital coloring and is an improvised affair; I start drawing and make it up as I go.

How has your art evolved over time?

I like to experiment and try different mediums and methods. I think it’s essential for any artist, but for me it diverges into different styles of work—line art inks, pencil renderings, digital painting and branding/key art—that all inform the others but remain its own thing.

Earlier this year, though, I started dabbling with 3D sculpting and rendering. You’d think from making video games the past 15 years I’d been at it for some time, but I just never got around to it. It’s incredibly fun and addictive, but a lot more time-consuming for me than drawing.

What equipment do you use to create your pieces?

Pencils, brushes, dip pen nibs, ink, an assortment of brush pens, whiteout, a computer and a Wacom Cintiq.

How’s your relationship with Instagram?

I was an early adopter of Instagram, but for the longest time favored Tumblr over it for online art posting. With the latter’s steady, sad decline after the adult ban, I jumped ship to Instagram. I have my own site and a few portfolio services like Behance and ArtStation, but for the general outreach, you can’t beat social media. I’ve made a lot of meaningful connections and friendships with artists and clients through it.

Do you ever struggle with online censorship?

At times, yes. Being Swedish, I believe myself to have a healthy relationship to nudity, body positivity and sexuality, and I’m often surprised at what constitutes “safe” content online. The apparent fear of human nudity and sexual expression baffles me.

Glass Coffin Movie Poster

While I’ve had the expected online content either flagged or removed, I’ve been positively surprised at the vast majority of wonderful praise, support and encouragement from people and women in particular.

What are some of your career highlights?

I’ve ticked off a few bucket list items lately; I was approached to do a gatefold double LP for Ennio Morricone, called Morricone Groove, that focuses on his lesser known soundtrack work from the ’60s and ’70s, which features a lot of my all-time favorite tracks of his.

Getting to work with Rob Zombie on a lot of LP soundtracks for his films was another. I was a big fan in my teens, so getting contacted by him saying he’s a fan of mine was delightful.

The same thing happened again when Anthony Gonzalez of M83 got in touch to have me design a poster and line of merch for a film he’d made to his latest album.

Some of my alternative movie poster screenprints have gotten some wonderful and unexpected praise. James Mangold bought a copy of the Logan poster, and the IMAX office has it hanging in their lobby.  I’m also told a copy of my Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood screenprint hangs in the cinema owned by Quentin Tarantino, which if true feels unreal.

Battlefield by Robert Sammelin

My craziest realization, though, is that some 50 million people own art I’ve made in the form of the Battlefield games. I didn’t really dawn on me until I stood beneath a giant billboard in Times Square of my key art for Battlefield 3 and saw ads for it everywhere I went. Designing that signature Battlefield branding art is a definitive career highlight.

Tell us something about you that we might not expect.

I’m a fairly uninteresting character as a whole; I can’t whistle, I never use sketchbooks and have an unusually high physical pain threshold.

What are you working on right now?

Besides making the future of video games at Embark Studios, I’m currently doing a whole bunch of record covers and posters, a comic called YT Savior with Ales Kot for Upshot Studios that is out soon and yet another comic called Kali with Daniel Freedman.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Movie Poster

You will discover it fairly easy to find Robert Sammelin online, although you may actually find yourself in ac couple of lesser-know, but substantially more representative of fine art, locations on the web.

Of course you can also just buy a copy of a Battlefield game. We have found a nice frosty beverage helps with those, should you be looking for a hint.

Penthouse Pet Fun Facts in Review

Penthouse Pet of the Year Playoffs for 2021

Featuring All of the Pet Fun Facts from 2020

(Now might be an excellent time to take advantage of that full screen option on the video player. Just sayin’… You do you.)

Of course should you not have had your fill of Pet Fun Facts, we actually created a written compilation for those reading people out there. (And, yes, we did have to explain to some of our social media experts that people who enjoy long strings of words all in a row do in fact still exist.) Just in case you do not have the order of the 2020 Pets memorized yet, we should note that we have in fact put these in order of their appearance on the Penthouse calendar. If we noticed that we would also have an argument against playing favorites should any of these women feel slighted by the order, well that would simply be a happy accident. Nope. We have no fear of Penthouse Pets in real life. In fact if they do somehow end up lost at the office and wander into the Digital Department, all of us act really erudite — smooth, suave, completely charming, even. Also, we will be sticking to that story, for the record.

  1. Bunny Colby hates bad spelling even worse than people being late.
  2. Gabbie Carter admits to liking guys with big dicks.
  3. Meaghan Stanfill dreams of owning a chain of farmers markets.
  4. Violet Summers considers Johnny Cash her ultimate celebrity sexual fantasy.
  5. Emma Hix got into porn because of a breakup.
  6. Jazmin Luv secretly desires to be a tattoo artist.
  7. Nicole Vaunt adores both art history and sensory deprivation.
  8. Quinn Wilde counts “nerd” as her favorite man trait.
  9. Kenzie Mac could bathe in Pinot Noir.
  10. Suttin loves vegan Mexican food.
  11. Kenzie Anne gets in trouble walking her dog.
  12. Blake Blossom tutors math.

Once you have absorbed all your Pet Fun Facts — which might take a few viewings, admittedly — you will undoubtedly want to cast your VOTE. Paring down to one beautiful Pet can be a daunting task, however, so we can let you in on a secret. You may vote once every week, but nothing says you must vote for the same person every time. The Pandemic has made us all a little jumpy about simply dropping back into life “as normal” — whatever that means, and as if we can even remember. Consequently, we do our best to make things both easy and fun. (This may describe the perfect date as well, but that would be a theory for another time.)

vote

Truth be told, there could be more than a couple of these contestants one might describe as both easy and fun. Hopefully you can tell fun from the Pet Fun Facts, though, because we would not advise approaching just any of them with that preconceived notion.

They are doing all sorts of fun things with this contest on the Penthouse Instagram so feel free to check that out as time goes on as well.

Cinco de Mayo 2021

Dos del Cinco de Mayo 2021

Ostensibly we were to simply put up a celebratory video put together for Social Media, because, and we can be honest here, we will pretty much celebrate anything that involves singing, dancing, and copious amounts of food and drinks. (One should not forget the drinks.) Ergo … Welcome to the Penthouse Cinco de Mayo 2021.

Now would be when the “Woo-HOO!” sounds fill the room, by the way. So let’s get this video out of the way, shall we?

First off, we do understand in the hallowed and erudite halls of the rather grandly named “Digital Department” that Cinco de Mayo technically celebrates a Mexican victory in the Franco-Mexican war. We also know that Mia Valentine — she featured in this video — happens to be Guatemalan. That said, Penthouse has a long history of particularly enjoying women that treat the company with the high respect (bordering on reverence, really) that we feel we deserve. Consider the following shots of Mia taken during her CyberCutie shoot.

See? The awe and heartfelt esteem just leap off the page at you? Powerful stuff; we know.

Bottom line, we think everyone should celebrate as much as they can about anything they can think of, so we will respect the language choices here and happily move right along. In the interest of transparency, we should note that more than a few of us in these offices (virtual now or not) do happen to be of the opinion that there are only two types of food in the world: Mexican and Other. Consequently, we may tend to be biased toward those South of the (U.S.) border fiestas. And the fact that these same affairs often include tequila, you may wonder? Well that would be just a coincidence, at least as far as anyone can prove.

It might be a good time to move along, however, at least to the obligatory intermission.

Cinco de Mayo to PenthouseGold

Now we may vamanos to our… even more deeply personal and insightful revelations.

Cinco de Mayo 2021 Bonus!

In truth, this gallery put together from the “picture” part of the company admittedly features a Guatemalan, a Cuban, and two women who at least claim 50% Mexican, so it does not technically fit the true heart of the international party rationale either, but we decided to run with it anyway, because … well, duh. Hey, we’re sticking with the theme, which happens to be important with parties, you know. Besides…

Double-Secret Probationary Cinco de Mayo 2021 Extra Special Bonus!

For the record, you have no idea how many “taco jokes” we had to edit away based on that video, even from people that have no idea what Jenna happens to be saying. Suffice it to say that our Cinco de Mayo 2021 present ion comes with a conclusion: Anywhere Ms. Sativa wants us to slather sour cream, we would be more than content to watch her lick it off. We’re givers. What can we say?

Instagram Feeds, because we care: Mia Valentine, Savannah Sixx, Alina Lopez, Jenna Sativa

FEAROFGODZENGA

Penthouse Fashion

When opposite sides of the fashion world collide, the results can often be a swing and a miss, a kind of mismatch of sorts that caters to neither element of the customer base. But when Italian luxury giant Ermenegildo Zegna announced a collab with Jerry Lorenzo’s Fear of God streetwear brand, ears around the globe suddenly pricked up.

Although on different sides of the fashion pyramid, Lorenzo and Zenga’s artistic director, Alessandro Sartori, share many of the same values. For example, both follow the design gospel of our times, unique craftsmanship and hybrid fashion fitting.

This collection is firmly aimed at the modern man who has an eye for luxury. Simply named FEAROFGODZENGA, it features a range of sublime pieces that are minimal yet eye-catching, made from only the best fabrics.

The 100 percent Cotton Shirt is a particularly attention-grabbing piece, an ’80s-inspired design with detachable shoulder pads that offer an imposing silhouette.

The Wool Trenchcoat is also another standout design, with its sleek and streamlined cut. It’s also 100 percent natural and features a classic shirt collar.

Lorenzo also brings his expert knowledge in producing high-end sneakers to the table. The casual yet elegant Suede Shoe is impeccable, with its monochromatic laces and cream rubber sole made for total comfort and style.

The collection might only be available in exclusive locations, in ten lucky boutiques across the States, Europe and Asia, but it is certainly one of the year’s standouts.

Beyond FEAROFGODZENGA

You may wonder, at least at this juncture, what the following three photographs have to do with, well, anything at all they were talking about in the magazine. Rest assured, the answer will be forthcoming in relatively short order. For now, simply consider that “Penthouse Fashion” existed well before — and extends well beyond — the admittedly quite impressive FEAROFGODZENGA line.

Penthouse Pet of the Year 1979 - Cheryl Rixon Pet of the Year 1979 – Cheryl Rixon Penthouse Pet of the Year 1995 - Gina LaMarca Pet of the Year 1995 – Gina LaMarca Pet of the Year 1976 - Laura Bennett Doone Pet of the Year 1976 – Laura Bennett Doone

Women’s fashions will always possess a special appeal that the men will continue to have difficulty matching. HINT

Fetish Cam

Explore Your Wildest Fetishes With Sexy Cam Girls on Camster

Guess what? That fetish will almost certainly be far more common than you probably realize. Besides, what others think should never stop you from having fun in life. And on that note, we have a perfect way to explore all your wildest fantasies online no matter where you live or when you want to come out and play — thanks to Camster! (We’re givers. What can we say?)

Fetish cam lovers can feel skeptical about live sites like Camster.com, thinking the performers there focus only on the traditional live sex basics — dirty talk, titty play, dildo action … all the usual stuff. Should that be you, prepare to be surprised, though: Nearly all the camster players will also be more than happy to get into roleplay fantasies and fetish play. You can direct from sexy start to sticky finish, and trust us when we tell you they will be thrilled for the change in routine. As long as it’s legal, nothing will be too bizarre for your favorite Camster playmates.

General Cam Outline

So what are some other fetishes being performed online these days, you wonder?

One of the most common fetishes everywhere turns out to be feet. When a hot chick takes off her high heels after a long day and rolls down her stockings to flex those pretty toes in that red nail polish, for many that gives us all we need to get through the day. Or maybe you have a taste for other body parts like hands. Seeing those fingers caress her skin as she moves down to every inch of her body can be exhilarating without parallel.

Perhaps something beyond the mainstream on fetish cam does it for you? Domination and slave training always a popular option. Getting on your knees and worshipping that amazon above you can be a dream cum true.

Should you feel truly brave consider the fetish cam cornucopia that includes cuckolding, face sitting, jerk-off-instruction, small dick humiliation, teasing, spanking, latex, and any number of roleplay games — from traditional situations to completely imaginary ones! Have you always wanted to play nurse and patient with a hot chick? Or, teacher and student? Or do you crave something purely beyond the reality of our mundane lives? You could play Prince Charming, stiving to do whatever necessary to save your damsel in distress fethish cam friend. Ultimately, of course, you take her home and give that innocent princess the best fuck of her life, but the chase can make the prize always the sweeter. Heck, maybe this only happens after good old-fashioned dragon slaying.

Do you have something even kinkier that gets you hot? After all, when it comes to fetish cam play, pushing your own boundaries to explore the depths of your own sexuality tends to be rather the point. And remember: that girl across the screen might be doing the same if you ask her.

Fetish Cam Reality

We can summarize this simply: Yeah, live sex chat can really be as creative as you want it to be.

Cam girls online perform all of these activities — including some you’ve probably never even thought of before. (But ask!) Better yet, they’re doing it 24 hours a day, every day. In fact, Camster models even have their fetishes listed in their profiles. So believe it or not, some of the most abstract sexual activities turn out to be actually some of the most common. These girls are here to listen to their fans’ needs and find out what makes them happy no matter how “weird” it may seem to the less enlightened<

We all have our things that get us hot. It might be huge tits, long legs, big lips, a firm ass, whatever. But sexuality will always remain personal, and what we consider sexy will obviously remain subjective. Some of us love flat chests, muscular legs, or meaty bodies. While some of the top cam girls online might qualify for what most of society deems as sexy, Camster.com offers girls of all types, and they love exploring fetishes — particularly those rare ones.!

Sunshine Eve

Fetish Feature Sunshine Eve

Fetishes: Face sitting, JOI, Roleplay

“Absolutely incredible!!! Everything is worth it with her. She will make the absolute best for your private session and also her party chat is fucking amazing!!!”

Baylee Love

Fetish Feature Baylee

Fetishes: Orgasm control, Sugar daddy, Tickler

“This girl is an absolute wonder- beautiful, intelligent, strives to please, a great conversationalist with a great sense of humor, and yes, guys, she takes all her clothes off too. All this in one beautiful package.”

Adela Gilbert

Fetish Feature Adela

Fetishes: Feet, Domination, Stockingsr

“Very pleasant girl who will make you feel like a king. Great attitude and open-minded with some very creative suggestions.”

Sam Bunny

Camster Model Sam Bunny

Fetishes: Collar and Leash, Latex, Wet and Messy

“Spectacular! A sexual volcano who will erupt all over the sheets and the floor. Incredible woman!”

Nazanin Hunter

Camster Fetish Model Nazanin Hunter

Fetishes: Feathers, Machines, Stilettos

“Every private show with her is a trip to heaven. Nazanin is simply the best. I love her sexy body and her amazing facial expressions. I wish I could have her in my bed every day.”

You know, maybe you should take a few minutes right now and check out some of the top fetish cam girls online right at this very moment. Don’t forget to find out what their biggest fetishes might be (currently). This list of names and playstyles will always help you get into the action even faster with the right kind of girl for your favorite kinds of XXX play at www.Camster.com today.

Just remember the fetishes listed are included, but not limited!

Conor McGregor

The Fight of the Century

Conor McGregor was talking about himself and the Irish nation he represents, after an emotional victory in the octagon back in 2014. But he could well have been talking about the sport he long competed in.

In less than three decades, the UFC has gone from being perceived as a bloodbath freak show, to a highly popular sport with a regular global TV audience. Of the ten highest pay-per-view audiences of all time, there are already three UFC contests — two involving McGregor. While boxing still leads the way, it is worth noting three of those ten are Mike Tyson fights from back in the day. The recent Khabib Nurmagomedov versus McGregor fight is ranked third of all time, with only Floyd Mayweather versus Manny Pacquiao ahead of it as a pure boxing title fight.

At No. 2 is Mayweather and McGregor, when the two richest fighters in their respective sports met on Mayweather’s terms. If McGregor was to rematch with either Mayweather or Nurmagomedov, then a new record might be set.

McGregor has taken UFC to a new level. But Dana White is the man who gave him the platform and has set up the sport for success.

It’s as if White brought a communist ethic to boxing when he reimagined the UFC. No more maverick promoters, individual fiefdoms, breakaway organizations and economic divide. Just one dictator, largely working for the greater good — as well as himself.

Yes, you can still make far more money as a top boxer. Heavyweights Tyson Fury, Anthony Joshua and Deontay Wilder all earned as much as McGregor, if not more in 2019 — with far less fanfare. But the fighters on the undercards of UFC make more than journeyman boxers.

There is also only one organization in the UFC and one main promoter, and the events are organized and regular. Boxing tends to feel sporadic and random — big when a fight is being promoted, but you’re never sure when that’s happening next.

Dana just decides to get it on for the good of the sport and, of course, himself and his fighters. Eddie Hearn, Frank Warren, Al Haymon, Bob Arum, Don King, et al., shadowbox in business for their own ends.

Boxing is also more confusing than ever to the average gambler when it comes to who is the best.

In boxing, there is the WBC, WBO, WBA and IBF. Only dedicated boxing fans could tell you which is the most important. Throw in 17 weight divisions for the boxers, and that’s a hell of a lot of world champions. In the prized middleweight division, there are currently four different titleholders.

Watching Fury beat Wilder for the heavyweight title was exciting, but he’s only got one of the belts. He needs to fight Joshua for a couple of the others. Again, the promoters will decide if and when that happens.

UFC has eight weight divisions and eight champions — nine if you count Justin Gaethje, who has Nurmagomedov’s lightweight belt on an interim basis. It’s regular and pragmatic. More of a democratic feel to it, despite Dana the Despot.

There are even famous women in UFC. Most sports fans have heard of Ronda Rousey but would struggle to name a female boxer. Muhammed Ali’s daughter Laila doesn’t count.

The only thing UFC truly lacks is a longer-term narrative, with drama and characters.

Boxing has a legacy — from Tyson to Rocky Marciano and the middleweights of the ‘80s, Thomas Hearns, Larry Hagler, Sugar Ray Leonard, Roberto Durán, Oscar De La Hoya. Characters like King. Legendary stories like the Rumble in the Jungle. Even fictional heroes in the form of Rocky and Creed.

That will come for UFC, though. In relative terms, it’s a baby. The man in the street knows McGregor. He might know Nurmagomedov, the ferocious Russian grappler undefeated in 28 fights. But he probably couldn’t name Jon Jones or Georges St-Pierre unless he was a UFC fan. Even Aussies might not know they have a world champ at featherweight in the form of Alexander Volkanovski.

You can be sure, though, that UFC is coming for boxing, quicker than the right hand McGregor used to drop José Aldo.

“I’m the fucking future,” said McGregor when he was still a fresh-faced Dubliner, fighting for a few quid. Again, he could have been talking about his sport.

Should you wish to stay current on the athlete née medium, Mr. McGregor maintains a web presence as well.

Polyamory

PolyLove on the Big and Small Screen

Two Men and a BabeGiven an estimated 20 percent of people have tried some form of ethical non-monogamy, around 70 percent have had an affair, and the rest of us are too scared to admit it, it’s no surprise multiperson romantic entanglements are becoming — albeit slowly — fodder for TV and filmmakers

In a few short years, we’ve gone from the “Mormons only” polygamy storyline of Big Love, to the offhanded and non-defining non-monogamy of Ilana Glazer in Broad City. Refreshingly, Ilana isn’t a unicorn — a lover who falls into a relationship with an established couple in just the way that couple would want and is named after a mythical creature for good reason.

Izzy, in You Me Her, billed as TV’s “first polyromantic comedy” is one such creature. In falling hard for suburban Portland couple Jack and Emma, she allows ample space for the show’s writers to examine everything about coming out — to friends, neighbors and colleagues who just can’t understand why the loved-up “throuple” has lost its collective mind. Which is to say, the monogamy narrative in TV land and elsewhere remains the default, with queer, non-monogamous, asexual relationships being the stuff of the increasingly accepted (thanks, world!) “other.”

In Unicornland — an eight-part webseries about divorcée Annie — the established straight and lesbian couples are clearly the dysfunctional ones, having squabbles in her presence over how to tie bondage ropes and, incredibly awkwardly, describing unicorn Annie as a rarefied being who “deigns to bestow her presence on mortals.”

In Compersion — another superbly cast webseries crying out for a big-budget adaptation — a married couple with children navigate the tricky terrain of one partner wanting more than the other can give, starting with the daunting first step: “I wanna try polyamory … It’s something like, ‘You’re my husband, but I can have a boyfriend, too.’”

Ramping up the drama and steering clear of unicorns, Wanderlust follows parents Joy and Alan, who, beset by unresolved issues, open up their marriage, only to realize N+1 isn’t necessarily the magic formula they were hoping for.

On the big screen, Woody Allen’s 2008 film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, remains something of a standard-bearer for straight male, non-monogamous fantasy thinking: two beautiful American women fall for an archetypical Latin lover, Juan Antonio, who remains in love with his gorgeous but unstable ex-wife, María Elena. Wouldn’t that be nice, men? (This is definitely not going to be your experience.)

Unicorns, meanwhile, enjoy a rare big-screen outing in the 2017 bio-drama Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, in the shape of Wonder Woman creator William Marston and his — and wife Elizabeth’s — polyamorous life partner, Olive Byrne.

It’s maybe not surprising that otherwise heteronormative male-female couples with an impossibly compliant sex-kitten love interest have dominated in the first wave of non-monogamous TV and film, and that webseries and outlier free-to-air comedies such as Threesome — with its two-men, one-woman triad — are still notable exceptions. It’s almost as if too much “weirdness” would blow our tiny minds.

But 2018’s Bohemian Rhapsody — for all its mixed reviews and rightful outrage at the near-erasure of Freddie Mercury’s queerness — does offer, very quietly, one of many polyamorous dynamics that deserves more screen attention, in the character of Mary Austin, who Mercury referred to as his “common-law wife.” In the film, as in reality, she exists not to the exclusion of other partners, but as a cherished source of mutual affection — the love, as the song goes, of Mercury’s life.

[Such was the article, excellent in its own right, as it appears in Penthouse Magazine. Given the freedom of the web, though, we felt like we could continue a bit. – Ed.]

Consider this, then, an addendum of perineum, if not precisely prurient, interest.

Polyamory in Print

First off, understand that at this point in our burgeoning web publishing department, assignments get strewn out in classic, time-honored tradition. Senior editors carefully analyze the original article, divining from it the depths of meaning from nuance to pith. After hours of weighty deliberation, this wise editor graces the staff with the fruits born of proper (and darned impressive) rumination by assigning the absolute perfect literary lackey to translate the current epic from print to digital publication. In other words, somebody looks at a list of stories in an excel file and assigns them randomly to anyone foolish enough to check their email regularly.

Full disclosure here, it might be that some person of a certain age in our group needed to ask another person in our group — she being some three decades or so younger than our original person — to translate what the heck a “heteronormative” person might even be. Would we recognize this creature if we met one, say, in line at a vaccination clinic? Well, after a fascinating conversation regarding gender identification and the baffling complexity facing young people today, said old person found himself suddenly able to translate into a language possibly more easy to understand.

Take the following two photographs:

Polyamory - Female, Female, MalePolyamory - Male, Female, Male

Now these photos feature (left to right, top to bottom): Riley Nixon, Joanna Angel, and Small Hands, then Brad Newman, Izzy Lush, and Jason Moody. Most importantly, however, may well be that you had a substantially different visceral reaction to the threesomes presented. Based on the completely unscientific strategy of simply showing a few people in the (virtual) office, the top and bottom photos bring about substantially different responses — particularly in males. Based on our polling data, and again translated into old-people speak, bisexual women have become fascinating, compelling, illusions of sexuality, quite possibly having moved all the way up to admirable on our mental scales. Bisexual men, though, still spawn often queasy feelings of confusion, unease, and occasionally downright open ooginess. Fascinating, right?

Vault Polyamory - Female, Female, Male

While the top two shots come from modern Penthouse polyamorous play, the last one comes from the “Penthouse Vault” section, an area devoted to remastering and republishing the classic magazine layouts from the lengthy Penthouse history. We would have included one featuring two men and one woman captured during these vintage days, but somehow we could not find one. Apparently bisexual — or at the very least quite comfortable with their sexuality — men did not exist in those days. Who knew?

By the way, we cannot say what you should feel about all of this. Honestly many of us cannot even say for sure what we feel about it. We can tell you, however, that each of these scenarios reveal themselves much more fully in the digital pages of PenthouseGold. That may not mean much to most people, but it gets the “Shameless Plug” portion of our directives out of the way completely, so we’re taking the win.

Rest assured, however, that even in the scenes featuring a woman with two men, the males participants remain at all times respectfully distant from each other — because, y’know, oogey.