Welcome to VidCon 2019, the world’s biggest, baddest hive of online talent.

Houston, We Have No Problem

More than 30,000 people descended on the Anaheim Convention Center this past July for the tenth annual VidCon, and Penthouse joined the party, meeting some of today’s hottest online video talents.

Billed as the world’s largest celebration of digital content creators, VidCon attracts both social media pros and their diehard fans. And judging by the size of the crowd—and their enthusiasm—the popularity and reach of influencers is stronger than ever.

But we’ll leave the discussions about Big Tech, monetization, and the perils of online popularity to mainstream media outlets. Instead, we got down to brass tacks and asked some of our favorite YouTubers what they would do if they had the chance to create an adult movie—and got some offbeat answers.

Gamer Jacksepticeye said, “I want to write an artsy porn movie with no dialogue at all. Like a David Lynch kind of thing. Just really long, panning shots … people are just having sex and the camera goes by them.”

Ethan Nestor, who created the gaming channel CrankGamePlays, quipped, “It would definitely be some spaghetti-based thing. Instead of the pizza delivery man, it would be the spaghetti deliveryman and he just throws all of the spaghetti on the bed. And there’s sauce everywhere and everyone is covered in sauce.”

Comedian Shayne Smith had a porn parody on his mind, explaining, “I want to do the Plow-Her Rangers, which is a Power Rangers spin-off, where they have to fight Rita and they have to get all large and then fuck a Zord. It’s a whole thing.”

The infamous PimpMunkX kept it simple and fucked up. “PimpMunk does everybody…except children. But, of course, animals are good.”

Should we merge all these ideas? We’ll wait.

And they even took photos. Imagine.

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