Welcome to our ongoing search for stuff that won’t dent your IQ (at least as of April of 2018 — no promises on denting now).

Museum … After a Day of Stupid …

Back in 1997, some Germans got an idea. For ease of reading, we’ll translate their thought process into English. It went like this: Hey, you know, we’ve got a ton of cool museums but after 5 P.M. they just sit there empty, a zillion marble-floored corridors and white-walled exhibition spaces without a single human being except janitors.

And since Germans are not a wasteful people, they came up with the notion of keeping museums open after­hours. That led to an even bigger thought. How about, they asked themselves, one night a year when a bunch of museums stay open late?

And so was born Lange Nacht der Museen. Long Night of the Museums. The Germans pioneered the concept but now all over the world museums stay open after dark.

The English even coined a term: Lates. One venerable London art museum, for example, promotes “Friday Lates at the National Gallery.” Less crowded, no school kids, and perks like booze, DJs, films, performances. Some museums take on a sexy nightclub feel, with fresh young things boogieing beside the paintings or bronze statues.

We rounded up ten art museums with great “lates.” We’re pretty sure our founder, art lover Bob Guccione, would have been down with this particular “Stupid.”


You like Old Masters? Rembrandt, Titian, Guccione’s beloved Botticelli? You’re in luck. This museum bursts with them. Its octagonal Rembrandt room might have the world’s best collection by the Dutch master. Plus, you can catch Bruegel’s Topsy-Turvy World (1559), which features the Devil taking confession and a woman cheating on her hubby.


Housed in a former power station with views across the Thames to St. Paul’s Cathedral, the Tate Modern Museum offers a world-class collection of twentieth century and contemporary art. During “Tate Lates;’ you can sample art in the Switch House, Boiler House, and vast Turbine Hall, while DJs pump out music. Free admission, too. Open till 1 0 P.M. all Fridays and Saturdays.


The world’s largest art museum, it began as a fortress in 1 202 and by the sixteenth century was a pretty sweet home for French kings. Pop by on a Wednesday or Friday evening and you can run around this treasure-house of 38,000 art objects like Tom Hanks in The Oa Vinci Code until 9:45 P.M. They even offer Code tours that recreate Hanks’s footsteps. [Also, almost anyone can get some really dandy photographs outside of the famous pyramid structure at the entrance too. — Ed.]


Berlin might have the Long Night, but the City That Never Sleeps kicks ass all the time. Weekends at the Whitney: 1 0 P.M. Weekends at the Metropolitan: 9 P.M. The Museum of Modern Art: Fridays till eight. The Guggenheim takes the cake though. On select Fridays, you can drink and dance until midnight in the spiraling Frank Lloyd Wright-designed building on Fifth Avenue, surrounded by Picassos, Miras, and Manets.


Can’t get to NYC? Maybe you can hit this colossal lakefront gem and party in the Modern Wing until midnight. Live music, booze, appetizers, on special Friday nights. Thursdays, it’s open till eight. During the day, crowds can be crazy. Beat ‘em late….


In 1990, thieves made off with 13 works of art worth $500 million-the greatest single heist of any kind in history. But copious art remains! Built as a Venetian-palace-inspired home, the Gardner museum is a great joint for a date once a month when it offers music, a cash bar, a courtyard, and, of course, works by Michelangelo, Degas, Matisse, and others.


The DMA gets it right both in terms of art (a whopping 24,000 objects, including works by Van Gogh, Renoir, Edward Hopper) and after hours: open till midnight the third Friday of every month. They even have a YouTube video detailing the nighttime fun to be had.


Opened in 2015 in downtown L.A. beside the Frank Gehry­designed Walt Disney Concert Hall, the Broad (pronounced Brode, after the billionaire who founded it) Museum presents as a trippy white structure with a honeycomb look. Inside sits a marvelous collection of contemporary art. Catch a Basquiat, or a Baldessari, until 8 P.M. Thursday, Friday, or Saturday.


As if Hawaii isn’t awesome enough, on the last Friday of the month — ten months a year — this dazzling museum, with more than 50,000 works of art, holds a party called ARTafterDARK. Sip cocktails on the beautiful grounds as the sun sets over the Pacific.


You might think beer before art when you think of Milwaukee, but its lakefront museum is outstanding, and its Santiago Calatrava-designed addition is breathtaking (think huge white wings that move). Plus MAM After Dark, a ‘til-midnight affair, might be America’s best museum-at-night scene. Forget Tinder and meet your next match! MAM cheekily invites.

Conceptual Interpretation of The Broad Museum

To be clear, we put a firm artistic stamp in this conceptualization pictured. Whilel we cannot whole-heartedly accept the “honeycomb” description of the earlier editors, we did understand that given our proximity we really should include a photograph of The Broad museum in downtown Los Angeles. Any untoward puns resulting from this decision and our history would be purely unintentional, of course. Would we do that on purpose? Besides, we’re not nearly old enough to understand the joke.

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