Captured Beauty

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Technically Captured Beauties

While many photographers prefer the controlled environment that comes with shooting indoors, Florida-based photographer Douglas Sawyer makes magic outdoors, illuminating his subjects’ bodies with golden sunsets and soft shadows, while they pose amongst nature’s backdrops.

“I am strongly guided by my natural environment and capturing my co-creatives’ interaction with those environments is where I find the magic I’m looking for,” Sawyer tells Penthouse. “I think I actually coined the term ‘environmental boudoir’ by accident when trying to describe what I do. It kind of stuck and works to describe much of the mood and locations I work in.”

Sawyer says his passion and “joy” for fine art nude portraiture is led by an admiration and desire to empower women.

“I absolutely love the sensual energy of women and really admire women who have a keen sense of who they are. So much of the world is mentally still in the dark ages when it comes to female autonomy of body and sexuality. I love helping women have a voice via my art. The joy it brings is contagious.”

The self-taught shooter, who first picked up a camera five years ago, says learning to go with the flow has been his biggest learning curve in honing his craft.

“I have always been fearless when it came to working with people. I never felt intimidated by the status or popularity of a model, but internally I think I was a ball of stress. I have since let go of that stress,” he explains.

“I have learned to find calm on shoots to take everything in slowly, and in that process learned to see the shoot the way I want to. Every day in this medium is another day learning, and the only person you will ever compete with is yourself from yesterday.”

As it turns out, Douglas here tends to capture the majority of his beauties naked, which makes perfect sense, and they do indeed qualify as beautiful, but it makes it difficult for us to show him off out in Penthouse Free-Web Land. Consequently, you may have noticed by those two pictures that we did a quick turn with our attentions so we could also take a quick look at CyberCutie Samantha Ferrec. She too enjoys a lot of life without clothing, so the two approaches fit together well. (Also, we got to show off some of the “soon to be available to the public” Penthouse Gear, and that always makes the boss happy. And happy bosses are good.)

Captured Beauty Samantha

Latina lovely Samantha Ferrec calls Colombia home, and this stunning brown-eyed camgirl says her favorite things about her hometown of Medellín are the beautiful weather and the warmth of its people. The blonde beauty tells Penthouse she enjoys camming because it’s helped her discover more and more about herself — especially when it comes to what she most enjoys.

“Being a camgirl allows me to use my imagination and invent concepts with costumes. I love to create art and be myself, and this job is a mix of all of those things,” explains the former cheerleader, who’s been doing cam shows for nearly three years.

For this adventurous beauty, posing nude comes naturally, and Samantha admits, “I love my body and feel so comfortable naked.”

What do you like to do in your spare time?
I love spending time with my dog. I read books and paint — and I love playing video games! And I also enjoy cooking. I’m really good at it.

Describe your ideal partner.
Someone who can captivate me with his or her thoughts. Physically, they should look good and be clean, but I’m most interested in someone who can engage in interesting conversations about anything and everything, and who doesn’t fear new experiences.

How would you describe your personality?
I’m a cute girl, who loves to have fun and make others happy. I strive to enjoy every moment, and I’m passionate about everything I do.

What would be your dream adventure?
I’d love to go to Australia with my dog and drive a van all around the country.

Although the magazine did not cover all of the questions they asked on the form, we did want to take a second to highlight what has to be one of our favorite answers ever. After discovering that Samantha sleeps with five pillows every night, they asked the (apparently quite American) question, “What do you sleep in?”

Samantha answered, “A bed.”

You see, this explains why we all need to travel more. How can you recognize cultural bias if you never have a chance to have it hit you upside the head?

If you could not tell from all of the preceding, a Subscription to Penthouse Magazine — either print or digital — would allow you to accomplish a much more thorough experience with both Douglas Sawyer and Samantha Ferrec. Obviously we want to help, because we always want people to accomplish as much as they can.

Even without spending money you can catch up with Douglas Sawyer @dms.386, though, whereas the other Captured Beauty Samantha will be found pretty much all over the place. She has Instagram, of course, as well as Twitter (her favorite) and her Cam Home at Flirt4Free. You can also find her wherever she happens to be eating dinner (and drinking mango juice) tonight, but that location varies — and truthfully may be difficult to discover.

RPG not RBG

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Tactical Role-Playing is Back in RPG

The tactical role-playing games (RPGs) many of us grew up with in the late ’90s and the early 2000s will always have a special place in our hearts — be it Baldur’s Gate, Fallout or Final Fantasy Tactics.

For a while, it seemed video games had moved on from the genre and on to greener pastures. As visuals got more advanced and gameplay more frenetic, there seemed to be no place for slow-paced, story-driven experiences. Outside a handful of select releases by Obsidian Entertainment and Larian Studios, most companies invested in role-playing as a whole preferred to adopt the “bigger equals better” approach of open-world RPGs like Skyrim and Cyberpunk 2077 — titles that blur the line between action game and RPG.

It’s hard to tell a story where your choices matter when your only options are to pull the trigger or swing a sword. Telling a story, or at least one that’s reactive to your actions, requires context and character motivation — elements that only an ample amount of dialogue options can offer.
Enter the tactical RPG: a genre that rewards patience and calls on players to invest time in creating and subsequently role-playing a character and doesn’t require much (if anything) in the way of reflexes. It’s no secret that as gamers are aging, so too are their tastes — and there are few things more accommodating to older gamers who want to sit back and think about their actions than an RPG that doesn’t penalize its players for not being good with a gamepad.

There’s nothing new about tactical RPGs — and it’s partly what draws so many gamers to them. Millennials who grew up on the turn-based and “real time with pause” RPGs of Y2K will feel at home with the new generation of titles led by the likes of Wasteland 3, Pathfinder: Wrath of the Righteous, and Pillars of Eternity II. Baldur’s Gate 3, made by longtime RPG producer Larian Studios, is also playable and slated for a full release in 2022.

Many millennials — at least those who didn’t lose themselves in Counter-Strike — grew up on tactical RPGs but that says nothing of the fact that the genre has always catered to a more mature crowd. It’s as if these gamers, now of age, are finally old enough to truly appreciate what the genre has to offer.

The resurgence of the tactical RPG is largely owed to the fact it can now be experienced by an audience that’s looking for more than the cheap thrill of landing the top spot in an Apex Legends leaderboard — a feat that requires quick reflexes and mastery of the first-person shooter. If you’ve played one tactical RPG, you already have the means to play them all. There’s no learning curve, unless you’re playing one for the first time ever.

There’s only one real way to play a shooter: You point and click. That’s it. In a tactical RPG, not only are there different difficulty options, there’s the option to play the game as one of a myriad different classes — such as a spellcaster, charming bard, swordslinger or stealthy rogue and every combination in between. In a well-made RPG, your experience gears toward your personal preference.

One unique feature offered by every tactical RPG is that each playthrough can be tailored to the player’s liking. Prefer to breeze through the combat? Just play on story mode or disable perma-death. Prefer a tactical experience? You can do that, too.

While a round of Apex Legends or Call of Duty can give you a quick fix — provided you play well, of course — games like Pathfinder offer a more fulfilling, substantial experience that lingers long after you’ve finished your first playthrough. These story-driven, tactically minded games require you to invest in your character and the choices you make, which impact the world and the characters around you.

The realms in which the stories take place offer a respite from the monotony and grind of the real world, away from cancel culture, crime and the hassles of daily life. It’s easy to get lost in the fantasy worlds of Faerûn, Rivellon or Golarion, settings replete with their own culture and political machinations — all of which you have an active hand in shaping. Here, your choices matter.

With the COVID-19 pandemic locking much of the world indoors, there are few better places to explore than the worlds behind the looking glass — and they’re adventures you can experience at the beat of your own drum.

Granted, around here “beat your own drum” could mean something entirely different, but consider the therapeutic value of video games either “as” or “after” beating that drum. This particular author confesses a preference for “FPS” (First-Person Shooter) games as a rule, though. The whole RPG position as basically Digital Dungeons and Dragons can be a little taxing if one has relaxation as the goal. If you really want to feel better, put on one of the original versions of DOOM (for PC, sorry), enter the “God Mode” (which means you cannot be killed), and then start attacking all the bad guys with just the chain saw. … You’re not going to win quickly, but invincibility can boost the spirit immensely. Of course if the technical hurdles make playing an old DOS game on Windows too challenging, just get yourself a shirt like I have and walk around watching people read the message. It says, “If I had superpowers there is a 100% chance I would use them inappropriately.” … Or if all of that still seems like too much work, read a truly excellent series of books and let someone else tell you a story. You remember reading, right?

Ines Trocchia

Posted on by Team Penthouse

La Dolce Vita con Inès Trocchia

With more than 1 million Instagram followers and countless devoted fans on Twitch, this charismatic Capricorn has an impressive digital presence. But the 26-year-old model is utter perfection in person as her sizzling photos can attest. Equally appealing in haute couture or hardly anything at all, Inès exudes a captivating blend of glamour, elegance and sex appeal. With her glimmering bronzed skin and shapely figure, it’s safe to say this bathing beauty makes temperatures rise wherever she goes.

When it comes to the language of love, worldly-wise Inès can whisper sweet nothings in English, Spanish and her native Italian. But we must confess — looking at her pictures leaves us speechless.

While we not adore the magazine copy all the time, we can take no issue with their taste regarding Inès.

Now for some Inès Trocchia Fast Facts (according to Publishing)

Favorite Workout:“I love being out in nature, so hiking and climbing are two of my favorite ways to work up a sweat.”

Her Pet Peeve: “I get nervous in crowded places. I need my space.”

Her favorite qualities about herself: “My perseverance and positivity.”

The most exciting place she’s ever had sex: “In an elevator.”

So the magazine took up space with stunning pictures of Inès, which makes perfect sense for them, we think. Of course this article spawned from the Penthouse Magazine, Mexico version, so we put on our wild and crazy hats and decided to run their accompanying article as well. Feel free to Contact Us and let us know if it stands as a vast improvement of the U.S. approach if you have time. Sadly, unless someone asks direction to the library or wants to know of Susan is in the kitchen, we cannot be much help in Spanish. We really need to improve on that some day. It seems like we promised Alex de la Flor, actually. Oops.

Mediterranean Gallantry

Italia se hace presente en esta edición con tu gran compañía, cuéntanos de tus primeros años en el corazón del Mar Mediterráneo: Soy de un pequeño pueblo del sur de Italia. Crecí en una realidad muy relajada y sin complicaciones, precisamente en un pequeño y tranquilo pueblo de montaña; mi madre es maestra y mi padre médico, por lo tanto es una familia común. Desde muy pequeña siempre me ha interesado la moda y el entretenimiento, siempre he querido acercarme a este mundo.

Cuando no estás en producción de alguna campaña, pasarela o sesión de fotos para revista, ¿cuáles son esas actividades que le gusta hacer a Inès Trocchia y qué música te acompaña? Amo viajar, dedicarle un buen tiempo al deporte y en general probar nuevas experiencias. De la música, depende mucho de mi estado de ánimo y de mi situación, me gusta mucho el rock y el pop; depende de las circunstancias, y aunque no tengo una banda o cantante favorito, Nirvana y Oasis me gustan mucho.

Sabemos que aunque eres exigente con el ejercicio, también tienes algunos gustos culinarios específicos. ¿Qué tan exigente es tu paladar? Me encantan todas las comidas, me encanta la italiana, la chino, la japonesa, la hindú y, por supuesto, la comida mexicana. Ah, y de postre, el chocolate, en especial el blanco, en cualquier presentación. ¡Así que la comida mexicana está en tu lista de favoritas! Platícanos, ¿qué lugares has conocido en México? Sí, estuve en Cancún y Tulum, me encantó; son lugares increíbles y la comida es realmente fantástica.

Como modelo, has tenido algunos trabajos destacados que admiramos, ¿cuáles son algunos de esos que te han dejado marcada, nosotros nos quedamos con esta sesión de fotos y la de tu participación con David Bellemere? Sin duda esta sesión de fotos con F-ZERO STUDIO fue hermosa, Lorenzo Taliani es uno de los mejores fotógrafos italianos. ¡El resultado es increíble! También hice varias producciones que han sido muy importantes para mí y para mi carrera. De los últimos, entre mis más bellos y recientes, ciertamente está este con David Bellemere, es una persona excepcional y un artista fabuloso. Tiene una visión espectacular de la mujer, para él una mujer desnuda no es simplemente un cuerpo, sino que es empoderadora, es la mujer que tiene una gran fuerza.

Además, nos enteramos de tu participación en televisión y radio, donde has estado de cerca con el deporte más seguido del mundo, el futbol. Cuéntanos sobre tu carrera y qué tan aficionada eres de este espectáculo deportivo: Durante tres años he recopilado diversas experiencias en radio y televisión, especialmente en el sector del futbol, y me gustaría mucho retomar mi trayectoria en este ámbito. Y sí, obviamente soy fanática del futbol, es una pasión que me enseñó mi padre. Mi jugador favorito es Maradona, porque es napolitano como yo, aunque yo apoyo al Inter.

¿Quiénes son esas mujeres que te inspiran a seguir creciendo y cuál es tu mayor sueño profesional?

Hay varias modelos a las que admiro por diferentes razones, por ejemplo, me gusta mucho la capacidad de posar de Coco Rocha, me gusta Kate Moss por haber introducido estándares completamente distintos y romper con los cánones tradicionales. Pero mi favorita absoluta es Cindy Crawford. Y bueno, definitivamente mi más grande sueño es formar parte de una producción de Hollywood.

¿Cuáles son los retos que consideras más importantes de dominar como modelo?

Lo más difícil es tener que lidiar con los estándares de belleza que a veces son muy altos, pero también el hecho de sentirse muy a menudo inadecuada para los proyectos porque hay muchos castings y audiciones, y a veces es complicado cuando las puertas se cierran. Sin embargo, nunca debes permitir que nadie te haga sentir inadecuado o que te haga sentir que no eres lo suficientemente bueno en algo.

¿Cómo ves tu presente y cuáles son los siguientes pasos en donde te veremos?

Me veo como una persona que siempre está dispuesta a aceptar nuevos desafíos y buscando ir más allá de los límites, para tener nuevas adrenalinas y emociones. Y no importa de dónde vengas, con dedicación, compromiso y trabajo puedes llegar a donde quieras. Por ahora, me gustaría cultivar la idea de poder presentar un programa de televisión en el corto plazo.

In Mexico they introduced Ines this way: “Modelo internacional, celebridad de televisión y radio, así como amante del deporte más seguido del mundo. Ella es una italiana de belleza única y actitud sin igual. ¡Benvenuta in famiglia, Inès!” …We have been saying, “Welcome to the Famiglia” on every Pet shoot since. If you cannot have fun in life, well, you might as well move somewhere freezing cold all of the time. … For different kinds of fun, you can keep up with Inès on Instagram, Twitch, or Facebook as well. You do you.

Denuded Exploits

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Denuded Debriefs

Penthouse runs a really fun little section with a bunch of bizarre very short stories that essentially seek to point out the rampant weirdness in the world. Even given our general disdain for printed pages — which denude the forest, technically — we have to admit that Publishing does a really good job with this. Of course, how hard can it be to find weirdness in the world? On the upside, that beats the heck out of finding rampant evil or unbridled stupidity. Just turn on the news. You’ll see.

Stuck in the Middle … Denuded

A naked woman was rescued after she got stuck upside down between two buildings in Santa Ana, Calif.—in a space no more than a foot wide! The woman was found after employees at a nearby auto body shop heard someone yelling for help.

“We called the cops, and the cops came in and got on the roof and looked between the two walls, and she’s all naked,” one of the workers said. “She was in pain. She was screaming in pain. She was upside down, too.”

It took firefighters two hours to complete the rescue, which involved carefully cutting through one of the concrete walls she was wedged between. It’s still unclear how the woman got herself into that predicament.

(Yeah, being upside down was the strange part? … The first thing you asked once you got her free was, “So, um, why were you upside down?” … Men with power tools video.)

Denuded Bubble Vessel Rolled AshoreFlorida Man Washes up in Bubble Vessel on the Beach (Denuded State Unknown)

A Florida man washed up in a floating bubble watercraft on the beach near Miami after attempting to run a long-distance race on water.

Iranian-born athlete Reza Baluchi, 49, was attempting to use his hydro pod, which is essentially an inflatable hamster wheel, to run from Florida to New York in the name of charity. Baluchi was less than a day into his journey when his vessel experienced some technical difficulties and he headed ashore.

This wasn’t the first time the ultramarathon runner attempted to walk on water. Baluchi and his hydro pod were rescued off the coast of St. Augustine in 2014, and again in 2016.

“I will show people anything you want to do, do it. Don’t listen to anyone. Chase your dreams,” he said. “I’ll never give up my dream. They stop me four or five times, but I never give up.”

(No word on whether the man himself was denuded, but it could be that part of his brain was missing some layers. … A lot of people covered this story, but you just have to love a site called MotorBiscuit. … Our confusion continues.)

Denuded Hermit Crabs Conceptual ArtHermit Crabs Sexually Excited by Plastic Pollution (but not denuded)

Sea pollution is a global crisis, with more than a million marine animals killed by the 8 million tons of plastic waste dumped in our oceans every year. So why is all that trash making hermit crabs so ecstatic?

In a study from across the pond at England’s University of Hull, a team of scientists found plastic waste dumped in the sea leaks the organic compound oleamide, which increases the heart rate and hyperactivity of hermit crabs, eliciting a response in the crustaceans that’s similar to sexual excitement.

“Our study shows that oleamide attracts hermit crabs,” Ph.D. candidate Paula Schirrmacher said. “This research demonstrates that additive leaching may play a significant role in the attraction of marine life to plastic.”

Hermit crabs are scavengers of the sea, who find their food by following the scent of the chemical oleic acid, which is released from decaying corpses. The naturally occurring fatty acid smells so similarly to oleamide that research suggests it’s acting as a false feeding cue and causing excitable crabs to mistake marine plastic waste as food. Think of the hyperactive crabs next time you toss a piece of plastic.

(Right. Besides, most of us think that having sex should not involve getting crabs. … That said, if you have ever wanted to know the sex of any specific hermit crab, we can help with that.)

Denuded Sperm Conceptual ArtChina Offers Award for ‘Most Beautiful’ Sperm (by definition denuded)

A sperm bank in Shanghai kicked off a 45-day competition among university students to find out who has the strongest—and “most beautiful”—sperm.

The Shanghai Human Sperm Bank invited university students in China to get an anonymous free sperm checkup to determine who has the highest concentration of swimmers. The organizers said the contest was created in response to declining sperm quality and rising male infertility, with only 25 to 30 percent of donations at the bank being viable. While the bank is calling for sperm, it isn’t collecting the entries. Instead, the bank is holding the competition to raise awareness among students about men’s reproductive health.

The [denuded] entrants will compete in each of these categories: most viable sperm, highest concentration of sperm and, strangely enough, “most beautiful” sperm. (With a side of Mayo.)

Donors who exhibit a concentration of more than 60 million per milliliter of ejaculate will be invited to donate. This isn’t the first time China has suffered a sperm shortage. Earlier this year, the Zhejiang Human Sperm Bank in Hangzhou issued a social media callout offering cash for donations. The post said: “We offer you 5,000 yuan [$760], just to find the best batch in the city. What are you waiting for?”

(We have specifically avoided any mention of possible names we could give for individuals who might be able to collect the MOST, if not necessarily the BEST, batches around here in one night — because we’re all sensitive and sophisticated like that. … We will tell you that in order to pick these four entries for your edification, we had to pass on “Man Crowned One of the World’s Dullest Dudes“ as well as “Woman Sets World Record for Running on All Fours.” … You might want to subscribe just so you never miss captivating moments like that ever again. As we understand it, there are other things of potential interest in the magazines too.)

Rebecca Chen

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Sheer Delight

Submitting to pressure from the ever-so-testy Publishing people, we have happily complied with a mini-feature on “Social Premiere” Rebecca Chen this time around. To her credit, Rebecca actually supplied a handful of photographs where she was wearing clothes, which makes it ever-so-convenient for us in the Digital Brand world. We have almost nothing in the way of text from the lovely Ms. Chen, but we have 9,000 words in the form of pictures if that helps any. For our part, we thought that helped a lot.

According to the magazine, and in a blatant manner of appeasement, therefore…

Rebecca Chen

Age: 31
Height: 5’5″

Beach babe Rebecca Chen knows how to rock a bikini! While skimpy swimwear suits her just fine, she’s equally stunning in luscious lingerie and daring dresses. These photos show the brunette beauty knows her way in front of the camera, but she’s also a dynamo on the dance floor.

“I used perform and compete in salsa dancing,” she tells Penthouse, “and eventually I worked as a go-go dancer in nightclubs.”

The Singapore native has put down roots in Thailand and says there’s no place she’d rather live. In her spare time, she works up a sweat at the gym practicing Muay Thai boxing and relaxes by catching some rays at the shore.

If she could do anything for the day, Rebecca tells us, “I’d love to travel into space.” But if you ask us, she’s already out of this world.

Fast Facts on Rebecca:

Her ideal date:
“Hanging out at the beach, having coconuts and stuffing ourselves with barbecued seafood.”
The most exciting place she’s ever had  sex:
“In my workplace—a Pilates studio. We got caught by the security guard, and XXI was fired the next day. LOL!”
Her favorite qualities about herself:
“I’m forgiving, generous and ambitious.”
Her ideal man:
“He should be kind, outgoing and mature.”
Her dream vacation spot:
“Saint-Tropez”

More Visually on Rebecca:

Now we had to crop some of the extraordinarily fine photographs shot by Jerome Biales — he of Living the Dream with Rebecca Chen fame — in order to fit the layout that the superior talents around dictated. Should you contact him via facebook, however, he would probably share the full shots with you — provided he can pull himself away from his ideal live long enough. You can find Rebecca Chen on Instagam, as one would expect, so you might be able to appeal to her there to put some “suggestion” out that Jerome share these shots. If life in Thailand works anything like life here, those “suggestions” from the right source work with amazing efficiency. … Oh. Come to think of it, you could subscribe to the magazine too, we suppose. (And we wonder why Publishing does not love us. It’s a mystery.)

Ginger Banks

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Living on Inspiration

All due respect to ManyVids, we actually enjoy the Ginger Banks answers more than the questions. We’re odd that way. Still, we have included the questions, because otherwise this would be very confusing.

What inspired you to become a content creator?

I was in college, where I felt safe to express myself sexually for the first time after leaving my small, closed-minded town. I spent a lot of my free time online, trying to turn other people on and make them smile. Eventually, I realized there was potential to make money doing this, so I started webcamming, and then I recorded my webcam shows to sell. When ManyVids came around, it was the perfect opportunity to put those videos to use; because of my extensive library of videos, I spent a few months as the No. 1 model on the platform.

Tell us one thing that no one knows about Ginger Banks.

I am a very open book, so this one is hard for me. Not many people know this, but I’m still legally married to my ex-boyfriend from college.

Do you prefer to cook or eat takeout?

I prefer to eat out at restaurants with my friends!

What song best describes Ginger Banks?

The song “Das Me” by Brooke Candy is one of my anthems.

What is your favorite quality in a partner?

My favorite quality in a partner is the ability to play and have fun.

If you were stranded on an island, what three items would you want with you?

A hatchet, some flint and water purifying tablets.

What is your favorite thing about your line of work?

My favorite thing is that it gives me the time and freedom to philosophize on the topics I am most passionate about, such as consciousness-raising, plant medicine ceremonies, sexual freedom, sexual education, healing from trauma and more.

Do you prefer salty or sweet treats?

Sweet all the way!!! That’s why my photo shoot location at the Candi Bar in Montreal was perfect for me! 🙂

What inspires you most?

What inspires me most is getting someone to think about the way they have been taught to think about sex and sex work. If I can get people to realize that their harmful treatment and attitude toward sex workers contributes to the trauma from society, then I am happy. If I can get someone to recognize that their internalized shame around their sexuality is holding them back from their full potential, then my day is made.

What is your favorite color?

Hot pink!

Close your eyes and picture ultimate happiness. Where is Ginger Banks?

I am sitting on the beach, surrounded by all my loved ones, and we are watching the most beautiful sunset that any of us has ever seen. We go into town, and the topic of sex or sex work is brought up, and the people involved in the conversation are open-minded, treating you with love in every interaction.

Name a movie that changed your perspective.

Religulous by Bill Maher was the first thing that got me to question what the church had taught me. I think it pushed me a little too far in the “super atheist” direction for a while, and I rejected all forms of spirituality because of it.

How would you describe the Ginger Banks style of love?

I try to fully love and accept the people I meet on this Earth. Love is the highest energy emotion that you can feel. Did you know that when you focus your intention on love while holding water that the molecules will rearrange themselves? Our thoughts and feelings can affect the material world around us, so I want to make as big of a positive impact on this world as possible.

What do you like to do when nobody is watching?

I like to dance like it could be the last thing I ever do. Freely moving my body has brought so much joy into my life over the past few years.

What is at the top of your bucket list?

Travel to Bali, Israel and any other place I feel called to.

Photographer: Dominic Lachance … And just for the record, we actually looked up “Das Me” from Brooke Candy. It was definitely and experience. We cannot possibly link to it from these SFW pages, but it was definitely an experience. We’ll send you off to Instagram, and you may explore (as you dare) from that point.

Alina

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Keep on Truckin’ Alina

Height: 5’9″
Measurements: 34B-23-33
Native Country: Columbia
Age: 24

Columbian cutie Alina is a natural when it comes to performing for the camera — and the lens loves her back! The hazel-eyed camgirl says she loves her job because it allows her to express her creative side and show off her talents as an actress, dancer and model. But the B-cup blonde admits she sometimes likes to sip a drink to help her relax before baring all and spills, “Before shooting this set, we drank a little rum.”

Alina says she’s excited to be in Penthouse because of the magazine’s history of celebrating women’s sensuality, and we’re thrilled to count her as one of our magnificent models. There’s no doubt this driven performer will fuel countless fantasies and race to the top of the heap.

What are some of your turn-ons and turn-offs?

Good dirty talk and wet kisses get me hot. I’m turned off if a guy is boring or smells bad. I like men who have something interesting to say.

What’s your favorite kind of date?

The place isn’t as important as the person. He needs to be someone with a good vibe, so we can connect. He also needs to act like a gentleman and be able to make me laugh. If my date can do those things, the rest of the night will be perfect and everything else will fall into place.

Do you usually wear panties, or do you go without?

I always have to wear panties. I don’t feel comfortable without them. My favorites are thongs. But I’m definitely a member of the “No Bra Club!”

Name something that’s on your bucket list.

I’d love to go skydiving in Dubai!

Do you think skydiving in Dubai would be different from skydiving somewhere else? How much can you really concentrate on the view when you’re completely focused on yelling, “AAAAAAH! This is the stupidest thing I ever DIIIIIIID!” all the way to the ground? Maybe they have excellent hospitals in Dubai? … At any rate, you can try to catch up with Alina on Twitter or Instagram, so maybe you can ask her. Having looked at at least hundreds, and perhaps thousands of airplane windows over the years, not a single person in this room claims to have thought, “Yep. I could jump from here.”

Speaking of falling into the deep end, remember Michael Jackson?

‘Cause This is Thriller — at 40

Michael Jackson Thriller Dance

When Michael Jackson released “The Girl Is Mine,” the cute, smooth — almost cloying — duet with Paul McCartney in April 1982, it hardly signaled what was to come from the rest of his sixth album. At that time — with the record still yet to be named Thriller — it would have been logical to expect more post-disco, R&B-laced pop in the vein of Jackson’s Off the Wall. He was again working with producer Quincy Jones, who had helped establish Jackson as a solo artist three years earlier, when the former child star was just 21.

But things were changing for Jackson in ways people could not even begin to imagine.

“They’re out to get you, better leave while you can. Don’t wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man.”

“And be careful what you do, ’cause the lie becomes the truth.”

Forgetting the narrative of its obviously sinister title track, even the catchy dance-pop anthems “Beat It” and “Billie Jean” had harrowing and dark lyrics, seemingly mirroring the sadness young Jackson was already beginning to feel.

Nevertheless, when Thriller was released — with an overly polished, softly focused, but fairly normal, great-looking young Black man in a white suit on the cover — the world expected more of the same sort of music from the eighth Jackson sibling, if slightly better. Michael Jackson was 24 at the time.

What they got was the genesis of the King of Pop. The greatest-selling album the world has ever seen. It’s said that Jackson wanted to create an album with no filler tracks: Thriller had seven Billboard Top 10 singles — the first album to accomplish the feat — including two No. 1 songs, the above mentioned pop classics.

“Human Nature” and “P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)” had echoes of Off The Wall, while “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” hinted at Bad, which would follow in 1987.

“Thriller,” the song, went beyond being just a single. The 13-minute video with Vincent Price’s chilling Edgar Allan Poe-esque monologue, and incredible makeup and choreography for the time, was a huge global event. In a pre-social media world, people sat round their TV in 1983 for the grand unveiling. 

In fact, it’s hard to separate Thriller, the album, from “Thriller,” the visual and audio experience. “Beat It” and “Billie Jean,” in particular, broke the dominance of white artists on MTV, and propelled the little known cable channel into the mainstream. Jackson also debuted his seminal moonwalk dance while performing “Billie Jean” during a televised performance celebrating Motown’s 25th anniversary.

But as an album, Thriller has sold nearly 70 million copies globally, 20 million more than its nearest rival — AC/DC’s Back in Black. Thriller stayed at No. 1 in the U.S. for 37 weeks, was the best-selling album in America for both 1983 and 1984, and won a record eight Grammys in 1984.

It is the greatest pop album of all time. Although pop alone fails to encompass the musical genres it touches.

Five years later, when Jackson released Bad — another Quincy collaboration that spawned five No. 1 hits — he was personally in decline. He had already had his fourth nose surgery, his skin was becoming paler and his sunglasses were a permanent fixture.

Within a few years, his health would wane further and his eccentric behavior would escalate. The first of many child sex abuse claims against him would also surface, charges he denied. Only 25 years after the release of Thriller, the drug-dependent recluse would be dead after suffering cardiac arrest.

Today Jackson’s legacy is slightly tainted, but Thriller stands the test of time.

“You’re fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller.”

OK. So the magazine likes us to include as many of their articles as we can, and we do try to oblige for any number of reasons, not the least of which being that beautiful women never show up around here looking for the geeks in Digital, so we need to stay friendly with Publishing if at all possible. That said, what may at first glance appear to be an odd juxtaposition here has an explanation. You see, it was the “40 years ago” part that caught our attention after having read that Alina has only been on the planet for 24 years. This means that “Thriller” came out somewhere around a decade and a half before Alina’s parents even thought about having the sex which resulted in her. That’s weird to think about, right?

Come to think of it, there may be reasons people do not often wander into our area. … A slight possibility exists that we might be strange.

Olympic Means

Posted on by Team Penthouse

A Winter of Olympic Discontent

The Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) and the International Olympic Committee (IOC) really have quite a lot of countries to choose from when awarding the World Cup and Olympics respectively, so it begs belief that they would pick Qatar and China to host 2022’s two major global sporting events.

Not only are they both countries with appalling human rights records and any number of other atrocities that make a boycott seem reasonable, but in even simpler terms the weather situations are shocking.

It is ridiculously hot in Qatar, so much so that the World Cup has been moved six months down the calendar from its normal June/July dates, just so games can be survived in the so-called cooler months. Beijing in February, on the other hand, is not guaranteed snow. There are reports it may have to be shipped in from elsewhere. Snow is quite important when it comes to the Winter Olympics.

FIFA has pretty much admitted they made a mistake, and many of its members have been turfed out for taking bribes. The World Cup will not be moved from Qatar, however, despite requests from other nations.

The IOC is also standing by their decision to take the Winter Games to Beijing, saying it “remains neutral in all global political issues,” which frankly isn’t good enough, given that it has a charter that promotes equality and antidiscrimination.

The genocide of Uyghur Muslims and their enslavement in camps, reportedly revealed by the release of the Xinjiang papers in 2019, should be enough alone to warrant moving the Games. Add the treatment and censorship of journalists — both domestic and foreign — the Hong Kong pro-democracy protests, trade sanctions, and the buildup of military might in the South China Sea, and you have a veritable lazy Susan of problems to choose from.

The backlash started slowly. First, the snow issue, then concerns that the creation of venues was harming the local environment, and even that the official song sounded too much like “Let It Go” from Disney’s Frozen. All pedantic window-dressing ahead of the main event.

Since then, the U.S. has called for a boycott, the U.K. has said they may boycott, Dutch and Canadian MPs have protested, and Australia has grumbled.

A diplomatic boycott seems the likely outcome with athletes still allowed to compete, but China would not be happy. The state-owned Global Times has said China would sanction countries that don’t send official diplomats. The IOC has also doubled down on their poor decision-making by saying sporting sanctions may also follow.

And so at this stage, China seems set to welcome foreigners through its borders between Feb. 4 and Feb. 20, 2022, for the first time since COVID-19 broke out in Wuhan at the end of 2019. With their zero tolerance for the virus, they fully expect zero domestic cases at the start of the Games and stadiums to be packed with vaccinated locals. The rest of the world will therefore see the natural beauty and incredible space age venues of Beijing that can’t help but make China look impressive on the world stage — no matter what else is locked away out of sight.

As for sports, the Winter Olympics are very much variations on a narrow theme — skiing, skating and getting into or onto things that slide down an icy track.

For a couple of nights every four years we love a bit of bobsled, luge and curling (like bowls on ice with manic broom-sweeping, remember?).

Figure skating has genuine beauty, though, and ski jumping requires supreme skill and bravery. The National Hockey League has agreed for players to take part, so we will witness Canada’s brilliance on the ice.

Watch out also for America’s beautiful Chloe Kim, who at only 21 is already defending her 2018 Olympic Gold Medal in the snowboarding halfpipe. Swedish cross-country skier Charlotte Kalla, likely in her last Olympics at age 34, who is already the holder of nine Olympic medals across multiple events. And Yuzuru Hanyu, the slender men’s figure skater from Japan, who seems untouchable for gold again.

The Winter Olympics shouldn’t be happening in Beijing, but they are, and we will love them for the two weeks they are on. That’s what happened in Tokyo, where despite all reservations, it was one of the most memorable games in recent times.

Then from March 2022, let’s look forward to the Paris Olympics in 2024, the 2026 Winter Olympics in Milan, and normal service being resumed. 

At this point, of course, we know how this all turned out. The U.S. along with several Western countries boycotted “diplomats” in protest, although this sort of sounds like the neener-neener of the political world. It seems difficult to believe that even one athlete bemoaned, “Gosh. I’m sure I would have completed much more effectively if only the diplomats had been in attendance. That really destroyed my concentration. Woe is me.” … Still, we have the results now, and we can all make of that what we will. (Neener-Neener.)

Trucici

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Joining the Hair Band with Trucici

Height: 4’11”
Hometown: Las Vegas, NV
Fun Fact: Closet Anime/Manga Artist

The Trucici Favorite Food: I will stuff my mouth with EVERYTHING but onions!

The Trucici Favorite Way to Work Out: Sex. JK! … I love hitting the gym & watching YouTube vids to get me motivated. A good leg day ALWAYS gets my hyped!

Trucici pet peeves: Fake people & getting deactivated from IG 10x a month.

I’m the one they call “Floss Boss.” I’m a full-time content creator, entrepreneur, gamer, & part-time Pokémon (or so, I wish!) I’m a nerdy Filipina, 4’ll” with Rapunzel-like hair who likes anime & fitness. My social media journey began in hopes to model after my idols. Since 2019, it’s been an honor to be called someone’s “inspiration” when I’m simply doing what I love: making cringe TikTok dances, collecting dildos, getting paid to be naked, FOODZ, & playing video games with my followers… The world is my oyster 😉

What can your fans expect to find on your ManyVids profile?

Sexy solo vids, roleplay, BDSM/Kink, JOI, fetishes, used panties and … NOODZ. LOTS OF IT.

Describe Your Ideal Date

Definitely a FOODZ date! It’s easy to connect over a great dish & get to know the person with an intimate convo. You learn if they’re picky or not 😉

What is the sexiest quality a person can possess?

Class.

How many pillows do you sleep with?

One for my head & the other for my imaginary ex-husband.

What motivates you to work hard?

My experience with being locked up (yes, jail) will always be my reminder to seize the day. Sitting in an 8 x 5 cell 24/7 for 2.5 years will make you appreciate life.

What’s the most daring thing you’ve ever done?

Refer to previous answer haha.

What is your favorite animal?

Pokemon. They exist I swear.

We have done other ManyVids profiles, but of course we wanted to give you a link so that you can visit Trucici on ManyVids. Sadly we could not link directly to any of those pages, but you will be able to find them easily enough. She does have Twitter, Instagram, and even her own website (sorta). … Now she does seem accurate when she claims they keep taking down her Instragram, but anyone who uses “Floss Boss” in her name simply has to be worth a little effort. You should track her down somewhere, though. How else will you find out how she pronounces her name? … Feel free to let us know what you learn, by the way. Better yet, ask her to drop by and tell us herself. She must be something to behold in person.

Data-Driven: Plan B

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Delving Into the Data-Driven

We have two questions for you before we get to the Data-Driven part of our revelation today.

  1. Do you remember when we said that last Thursday (April 7th) was going to be the last day for the public to vote on the Penthouse 2022 Pet of the Year?
  2. Do you remember some years back — ok, so a lot of years back — when a character (or a friend) might jump up and yell, “PSYCHE!”?

If you answered in the affirmative to question two, then you probably know where we’re heading today. Should you not remember this expression, perhaps a visual representation could be of some assistance.

So that pretty much explains what “PSYCHE!” meant back in the day, and here we are again finding it useful. Heck, maybe we’ll start the trend all over again. Eddie Murphy used it in a routine about buying ice cream, and as much as we all love ice cream, us using it in the context of our Data-Driven exploration of modern Penthouse Pets seems more interesting than that.

We find ourselves somewhat limited in what we can publicly reveal, but basically after over three full months of voting, the final tally for the 2022 Pet of the Year popular vote ended up amazingly close. They will not allow us to give specific numbers, but we can say that the number of people that have voted for the POY has passed well into six figures, and yet something extraordinary — at least in our experience with this particular annual vote — has happened. Literally 20 votes applied one way or the other would completely rearrange the order of the top four women in the contest. This thing came out really close. Twenty votes after that much time and this many votes hit us as truly bizarre. Usually by about half way through the contest you can pick the top three places at the end with a big degree of confidence, based on how the vote has been going thus far. By maybe 70% of the vote being in, you will essentially know who the winner will be for sure.

So at the very highest level of Executive Strategizing, a new mandate descended. We do not really have an executive dining room, because we honestly don’t have that many executives, and besides Los Angeles has nothing if not an abundance of superior eating establishments close to any given location. Given that, we feel confident in our little web world that this decision certainly came after the consumption of large portions of seared beef along with several have-to-be-bad-for-you side dishes. Whatever the case, we now have a new plan.

Voting for the 2022 Penthouse Pet of the Year has been extended.

Despite what you may have heard, or learned from any number of social media outlets or direct email campaigns, the Execs have decided you need more time. While you ponder this amended reality in our new Data-Driven world, we thought a few photographs of the Pet of the Year winners from 2006-2010 might be fun. So we dug some up.

That was better than a great many things in life, right? We hope it serves as a bit of an apology if you have been making special concessions in your life to be sure you voted every week for your favorite Pet. On the upside, now you get to vote some more, so … YAY?

You see, everybody has their personal favorites, and nobody wants to “lose” by some piddly number like 20 votes. So far no highly-important people have called us up on the telephone saying anything scandalous like, “I just need to find this many votes” or anything, just to be clear. If that does happen, though, we will not need a committee to look into anything. This actually IS a dictatorship, so we will do as we are told. If the Emperor wants to be naked, fine. We’re quite used to naked people around here.

Truth be told, a lot of factors go in to choosing the ultimate Pet of the Year winner. The public vote, although very important, does not necessarily rule the roost entirely. We can’t really divulge the other factors — ok, mostly because we do not know them — but at some point the decision gets made (perhaps at one of those aforementioned fine eateries) and some months later we all hear about it. You might be surprised to learn that in our little web world, we have in the past learned the winner of the Pet of the Year contest by looking at a printed magazine just like everybody else. … Shocking, right?! … You should complain to the Penthouse Executives for us, because, y’know … dictatorship.

At any rate, they say “two more weeks” which would put us still compiling votes until Earth Day, oddly enough. Of course we have no plans to bank on that by locking it in or anything. Once bitten. Twice shy. All that. (The concept, not the Great White song.) While that sinks in, we figured it couldn’t hurt to throw in another Data-Driven PSYCHE! Moment with Gianna Dior.

You should consider that maybe a nice PenthouseGold membership for a month or so might appease some of this PSYCHE frustration, to be clear. For our part we need to look up people who keep track of things like this, because we have discovered the actual four worst words ever uttered in an office environment: We have Plan B.

As you may have noticed by now, we will not often link you out to “The Guardian” because it tends to be, well, itself, but we did find a fun list of other Horrible Office Phrases you might enjoy — pretty much all the result of this Data-Driven quest of the modern corporation — so take a look if you wish. … OH! And we almost forgot: VOTE.

VR: Virtually Ready

Posted on by Team Penthouse

Making Virtual Reality Worthwhile

VR has its place in many niches, including first-person shooter games, flight and work training simulators and immersive experiences that can only be conveyed through the medium of three dimensions. One thing many of its users have in common is their consumption of pornography, which has become the de facto sales driver of the technology. But a lack of worthwhile applications and a limited library of games — offering more gimmicks than full-fledged experiences — hampers the medium.

In contrast to the number of users who utilize their headsets to play video games on a regular basis, VR porn dwarfs every other use-case by a long mile. And that’s a problem. Not because it’s being used for porn — but because it’s not being used for much else. VR is not achieving its full potential, and the market simply isn’t sold on the medium — at least not yet.

Virtual reality is an isolating experience. When you put on a headset, it disconnects you from the real world. Maybe that’s a good thing for those who want that experience. But for those who feel discomfort in the disconnection, it’s a chore. When real life calls, disconnecting from your immersion and reconnecting becomes a wholly irritating ritual.

By itself, getting VR to work is a hassle and a half; it doesn’t work out of the box. You have to install drivers, make physical space and have the necessary hardware to even run the damn thing. It’s an expensive hobby with little payoff.

Worse still, most VR headsets are not even wireless; those that are offer decreased graphical fidelity and are about as immersive as watching James Cameron’s Avatar in 3D. In other words, they suck. The controllers themselves are unintuitive and require you to fumble around to perform the simplest tasks in most games, such as Skyrim VR and Doom VFR, where even moving around requires you to teleport from place to place. While it’s nice that some major developers offer VR experiences, these offerings are few and far between. The VR market isn’t big enough for most publishers to even invest in creating standalone VR titles. It’s a poor investment for both publishers and consumers, and that feeds into the circuitous problem of there not being enough users to make the development worthwhile — and not enough games for most users to justify buying a headset.

The reduction in bulk and wireless freedom are a given. Miniaturization and wirelessness will come with the march of progress, but there are a number of things VR manufacturers can do to make their products worthwhile.

VR’s problems need to be addressed at the roots. Its greatest strength, isolation, is also its greatest weakness. Coupled with the disorientation you experience when you come back to reality, there’s simply no easy way to “tab out.” The VR industry could learn a thing or two from Apple: Add a transparency mode.

You shouldn’t need to take off your headset to see and hear the world around you or respond to your email. It has to be convenient to be attractive to the wider market. After all, noise-isolating headphones wouldn’t be quite as convenient if you had to take them off to talk to someone. And being able to see your surroundings would eliminate the hassle of removing and putting back on your headset, completely killing the immersion. Having cameras and microphones mounted on the headset is an easy fix — to say nothing of how bulky these things are at the moment.

The elephant in the room is the fact that there’s no standard for VR headsets. While some applications work on multiple devices, most simply do not. You’re either getting an Oculus, an HTC Vive or a Samsung. You might go for a Valve Index, if you’re feeling extravagant. Platform exclusivity is a factor that limits what you can experience with your investment.

Unlike TVs and monitors, the experience is less than uniform, for both developers and users alike — and given that the whole point of VR is to be immersive, anything less than a solid experience is not only immersion-breaking, it’s headache-inducing. It doesn’t help that VR headsets have intense hardware requirements; the cost of VR doesn’t end with the headset alone. 

The good news is that the industry understands these problems and is actively working to solve them. It only remains to be seen if the consumer market will have the patience to tolerate VR as a work in progress before it finally reaches maturity.

Lest this all make you think that VR exists only for people that love video games, we wanted to point out that the technology has transitioned into regular movies as well. Should that interest you, the veer blog might be worth checking out if you have some free time. This, of course, leaves aside any comment as to the kind of individual that desires to immerse themselves — even virtually — into your typical Hollywood horror movie. We will say that to some of us, having an “immersive experience” in, say, a tour of a Ben & Jerry’s factory sounds like a lot more fun. … This last image comes from the VR version of the wildly popular DOOM franchise. Sure, being in the middle of this would be way better than virtually enjoying a deserted beach on Fiji. What were we thinking?

Virtual Reality Doom

Quannah Chasinghorse

Posted on by Team Penthouse

True Grit

Stunning and strong, Indigenous model and activist Quannah Chasinghorse is redefining American beauty. Dubbed one of fashion’s freshest new faces, Quannah embraces her unique ancestry, which includes the Raven Clan of the Hän Gwich’in from Alaska and Native American Oglala Lakota from South Dakota.

The 19-year-old trailblazer, who was born in Navajo Nation territory in Arizona and has lived in Alaska for more than a decade, wowed A-listers and fans alike at last fall’s Met Gala. She walked the red carpet clad in a glimmering gold gown by Peter Dundas for Revolve and Navajo turquoise jewelry from her “aunty” Jocelyn Billy-Upshaw, who was crowned Miss Navajo Nation in 2006. Considered the badass breakout star of the evening, Quannah was praised on social media for her exquisite embodiment of the event’s theme: “In America: A Lexicon of Fashion.”

Quannah Chasinghorse at 2021 Met Gala, NYC
(Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)

Her glowing looks were also accentuated by her attention-grabbing ink — the lines extending down her chin and trailing from the corners of her expressive eyes are traditional Hän Gwich’in hand-poked tattoos called Yidįįłtoo.

She says of her tattoos, “They make me feel more confident because I’m carrying a part of my ancestors that was almost completely lost” due to colonization.

Quannah explains the middle line on her chin was “all about becoming a woman.”

She adds in her culture, “When someone steps into her womanhood, she is now able to give birth, get married and start taking on more responsibilities. With that comes a ceremony; we always hold a ceremony when we do traditional tattoos. It was such a powerful experience. When I got the tattoo, I really felt myself connecting to a deeper part of myself.”

Quannah says her tattoos are “a great reminder of who I am, the powerful meaning, how far I’ve come, where I come from and how resilient and strong my people, my bloodline and my ancestors are.”

Before she attended the high-profile New York City bash — and graced the cover of Vogue Mexico with her nose ring and Alaska Native earrings — Fairbanks-based Quannah used her voice to advocate for conservation of her state’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, which has been threatened by fossil fuel extraction.

With nearly 250,000 followers on her Instagram account @quannah.rose, her social media platform reflects her concern for the environment and her devotion to causes she holds dear, and Quannah says, “I grew up seeing my mom work so hard for her people — she taught me that there’s no shame in speaking up.”

Quannah says her mother also taught her and her brothers “how to hunt, fish, chop wood, and took us berry picking,” and the family “had our own snare line and trapline. We even had a dog team, and when it would get too cold to where the vehicle wouldn’t start, my mom would drop us off by dog team.”

But a hunger for activism has remained ever present in her life and was even the springboard for her modeling debut in a 2020 Calvin Klein campaign that emphasized the importance of voting — a gig that led to her being signed by powerhouse agency IMG Models.

However, her very presence in the world of high fashion is its own form of activism, a fact that doesn’t escape intuitive Quannah. She admits in her youth, “I was obsessed with watching runway shows on television — Dior, Chanel, Prada — and I was always posing for pictures.” But she says a lack of representation made it “really hard” for her to feel like she had the potential to be a model.

“I never grew up feeling confident because of the negative stereotypes of Native Americans,” says Quannah. “But that’s changing. Today, younger generations are going to be able to witness Indigenous excellence on the cover of magazines — and hopefully everywhere.”

Firmly grounded in her beliefs, unafraid to speak her mind and exuding a confidence that only enhances her natural beauty makes Quannah our quintessential woman of the moment.

Should you wish to put your money where her mouth is, we are certain that anything you can do for the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge would make her very happy. She’s not going to be dropping by for dinner just because you helped, but we all do our part – or at least that would be a worthy goal.

POY 2022 — No Foolin’

Posted on by Team Penthouse

POY 2022 Contest Winds Down

What has been a remarkably long public voting round for Pet of the Year 2022 will finally close one week from today. To avoid math problems fraught with potential headaches if you do not happen to be reading this the day it goes live, we can help you out: Voting for the POY 2022 ends at midnight (L.A. time) on April 7th. Given that the new CEO decided upon this quarter of a year approach, we started talking about how much things have changed for the POY contest over the years.

Naturally this got us to looking about for POY winner schwag, because, hey, once the contest is over and people have forgotten all about who won, we really only care about the goodies, right? Well, “publishing” was a different “thing” back before the Internet, and thus companies who had millions of people waiting to get a printed magazine in the mailbox every month tended to have additional millions of dollars to play with. They game some really cool presents, as it turned out, the value of which may or may have had anything to do with whether or not the winner happened to be living at Bob’s house at the time.

Those darned coincidences, y’know?

At any rate, we ran through a pretty decadent list of things that most people would not even want anymore, but it was last century, and things were weird. While you might be able to something with a car, or possibly even a catamaran, most people have no idea where they could even wear a fur coat anymore — even if they wanted to wear it — which they probably do not. Way back in 1976 the magazine listed “Cash and Gifts worth over $50,000” but then sort of stole its own thunder by listing the gifts as …

  1. Porche 924
  2. Lynx coat
  3. 18’ Catamaran
  4. Swimwear

Suffice it to say that the fancy Porche cost less than $10K when it debuted that year and even fully loaded in the turbo version they came in at under $20,000 — a long, long way from 50 for the high-ticket item, well, unless that was some seriously fancy swimwear. They stuck to the bragging about dollar value concept for some time, though. By 1981 it was “Cash and Gifts worth over $200,000” (allegedly), culminating in 1983, which promised a “First Annual $1,000,000 Pet of the Year Pageant.” … More on this last one later.

POY 1996 Aquarium ClockWe then started crawling through other years, where we found the dazzling POY 1996 offering pictured to the side here, along with the typical car, coat, fancy clothes combinations that had become common. They had given up listing dollar value in the splash reveals, but had seriously branched into sponsored gifts. In a list of 25+ items, buried among the “attire” we discovered Andi Sue Irwin also scored …

  1. Three Nights in Athens, Greece followed by a 7-day islands cruise
  2. An 8-day Resort vacation in Nassau, Bahamas
  3. A week with up to 8 guests in a Mountain Chalet Resort

For the record, it turns out Andi invited none of us still here at Penthouse to accompany her on that trip, and we’re barely even bitter about it. If we ever see her again, we’re definitely going to ask what she did with the aquarium clock, though. Seriously, how do you clean a 6′ deep aquarium you cannot dive into? Those little scrubby magnet things were terrible, although people still buy them apparently. Hey, at least she got a helmet to go with her new motorcycle, and she did get $1,500 worth of free food at two different New York City restaurants, so she could have taken like three friends to lunch with her using those.

Bottom line, our POY 2022 Contest Comparison rabbit hole got less exciting pretty quickly, so instead we had the Art Dept grab a few photos of a random selection of past Pet of the Year winners, requesting specifically images featuring the model and the gifts. We got 18 fascinating photos of …

  1. POY 1976, Laura Doone
  2. POY 1981, Danielle Deneux
  3. POY 1983, Sheila Kennedy
  4. POY 1996, Andi Sue Irwin
  5. POY 2007, Heather Vandeven

Granted, only a couple of these actually picture the women with gifts they won in their POY contest, but a couple of them do, and that’s not bad from the Art Dept, honestly. (They can lose interest when you tell them you want photographs with clothes on the Pets. Go figure.) Actually, the research did turn up something interesting about that 1983 Sheila Kennedy year, but that as it happens would be a story already told. Sheila did happen to be one of those coincidetal “living with Bob” people, so…

For now, enjoy the gallery. If you reload the page, all the pictures will reorganize themselves, so it’s almost like you get to see new things again. We’ve done it dozens of times around here — just to be sure it works, of course.

By the way, the POY 2022 winner will not get a car, or a fur coat, a motorcycle, or (as far as we know) and aquarium clock. She does get a custom diamond-encrusted Pet Key necklace, and although we are not allowed to list the price, we can tell you it costs well North of a Porche 924 back in 1976. We also were going to ask a really famous (well, now slash-infamous) person quite familiar with beauty contests if he knew what happened to Bob’s grand plans back in 1984. We decided not to reach out, though, as this person has quite a few other things on his plate currently. He’s spent the last two years trying to learn how to count.

OH! At this point you probably have this page memorized, but just in case you’d like to get one more POY 2022 vote into the calculation. That page will be HERE until the end of April 7th. After that, the page becomes really boring. Fair warning…